Beast watched silently, staring daggers into the bucket hat-wearing Chansey sitting 15 feet away from him, blissfully unaware and in own her little world as she fished out of a puddle. Eventually, she got up and waddled back into the village, leaving the coast clear. Beast got up from behind his hiding spot, a large flowery painted sign reading “CUSTARD TOWN."
The presence of a Chansey and the suspiciously themed name of the village made Beast certain that he was still on the same island and had found the village of the general population. The easiest path back to the hotel was most likely through town, so Beast was willing to risk sneaking through. He climbed over the nearest fence and began the best attempt at stealth a tired old Munchlax like himself could muster.
Beast would have to keep a very low profile, given the consequences would most likely be much more deadly if he was caught. He needed something to defend himself just in case…
It was then that Beast noticed the back window of the house he was sneaking behind was wide open. If he was fast enough, he could break in, find a weapon, and hop back out the window without anyone noticing. Getting onto the very tips of his little clawed toes, he was just about able to get a grip on the windowsill, pulling himself onto his belly where he rapidly kicked his feet until he fell face-first into the house.
Getting back onto his feet, he was just where he suspected he would be: the house's kitchen. Several potentially lethal instruments of cooking were scattered about, giving him lots of choices for a weapon. He wanted something easy to use but would still do some serious damage. He saw a cleaver that looked appealing, but it felt a bit too grisly for someone of his taste. The rolling pin was an old classic, but it looked too brittle to risk committing to. But finally, his eyes fell upon the perfect middle ground:
A cast iron skillet! It was just the right amount of weight, was easy to swing, and at worst would dent if he swung it too hard. It seemed like the perfect tool for the job. He took it off of the hook and gave it a good twirl in his hands, feeling much higher quality than he expected for a regular household pan. If everything stayed on the island, did they really gather the raw materials and cast these locally?
Unfortunately, Beast was not able to give it any additional thought, as his ears were assaulted by the screams of the understandably worried Chansey who lived in the home Beast had broken into.
“Hold on, wait! Calm down!” Beast begged the screaming egg. “I’m not going to hurt you!”
The Chansey continued to scream.
“P-please, quit with your screaming!” Beast insisted.
The egg-like creature stopped for a moment, but only to catch her breath so she could scream even more.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake…” Beast muttered with a facepalm as the answer became clear to him. Pulling his pan back in a motion that resembled a knight readying his sword, he gave the pan a swing that sent the Chansey flat on the ground with a satisfying clang, followed by sweet, sweet silence.
“My my, I think I’ve found my souvenir!” Beast said, impressed with his new tool, giving it a quick inspection for dents. However, his celebration was cut short as he heard someone knocking on the front door.
Jumping back out of the window, Beast continued his sneaky journey across the village, occasionally getting peeks into the little society the Chansey had built for themselves. It was like a little suburban utopia, with everyone getting along and being sweet to one another as they delivered mail and tended to their little flower gardens. It was odd to believe that they were willingly ruled by that lunatic and her creations.
However, her influence still made itself apparent when Beast’s eyes met with the most peculiar building sticking out like a sore thumb among the cutesy clay huts and storefronts. It seemed to be done in the same style as the buildings surrounding it, but appeared to be retrofitted with odd-looking metallic modifications, ranging from antennas and strange dishes to an entire new wing of the building sticking out of the cutesy exterior like a tumor. He approached the building curiously, walking around it and admiring the odd additions to the building before realizing he had let himself walk right onto the main sidewalk.
Of course, Beast hadn’t noticed he was now on the sidewalk until he heard the voices of two Chansey too engaged in their conversation to notice the rogue chef. Thinking quickly, Beast quickly ran for the front door, heading into the strange building.
Much to his surprise, the mechanical doors opened on their own, causing Beast to trip over himself. Getting back onto his feet for what felt like the tenth time that day, he looked up to see that the building’s interior was as expected: very sleek yet very sterile, completely juxtaposed with what little was left of the cutesy exterior. Lifeless white lights came from squares in the ceiling, the walls and ceiling being the same dull shade of metallic grey, and tables constructed with bare, unpainted wood as if it was trying to convince Beast that anything about this was natural.
It was also suspiciously empty, so Beast was understandably startled when he heard the voice of the Blissey scientist. “Well, hello there!”
Beast whirled around and to his confusion, the voice was not coming from Miss Bliss, but rather a strange colorless display adorned to the wall.
“Er, hello? what is-”
“I wanna be the first to welcome you to the future of West Egg Island!” The pre-recorded scientist interrupted. “As you probably know, I’m more of a scientist than a queen, but my royal blood didn’t give me much of a choice in taking the position. But that won’t stop me from using that to improve the lives of my people! Which is why I was very happy to upgrade this POLICE STATION with the best technology I've created!”
Wait, police station? did Beast hear that correctly? He turned ever so slowly to meet the eyes of a small crowd of Chansey in police getup gathered several feet away from him, armed with batons and disapproving looks.
“Oh, dear.”
Beast took off in a running motion that resembled a scuttle more than a sprint as the remainder of the local police force gave chase, deeper into the building. He wildly swiped his pan behind him at the crowd as he ran.
“GET BACK, YOU SAVAGES!”
Beast needed some sort of distraction. A table, a bucket of water, anything! Maybe he could barricade himself inside a room and wait them out! He was using too much of his energy running to come up with a better idea. He swung into the nearest open doorway and hit the first thing which looked like a button, which thankfully caused the door to slam down in front of him.
He was safe for the moment, as long as this room was empty. Of course, Beast’s assumption was proven incorrect as he turned around to meet the eyes of an angry jailer Chansey with her baton already pulled back for an attack. Now that Beast could defend himself, the chef was more than happy to respond with his own swing from the opposite direction, parrying the Chansey’s attack. The Chansey then swung her baton in a sideways sweep, forcing Beast to duck out of the way. Beast tried to counterattack with his own swing, but it was blocked by the Chansey’s baton, who used it to push him away, making him stumble backward and become vulnerable to another attack. Looking to finish off the rogue chef, the jailer went for a the closer, an overhead swing. Unfortunately, the Chansey did not predict that Beast would meet her baton with a quick sideways swipe of his pan, knocking the baton out of her hands and landing several feet away from her. The jailer looked at her baton and then back at Beast, a worried look now on her face as she tried to plead with the chef.
“N-no wait, time out, I-”
CLANG!
The pan rang as the jailer was swiftly knocked onto the ground, now very much unconscious. Beast was not expecting the Chansey species to be as frail as they are, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. Now that he wasn’t under attack, he got a better look at the room and understood why his attacker was a jailer: He had locked himself into a cell block! It was empty and completely silent, as to be expected for a jail in a village where everyone acted like saints.
“Who would they even keep in all of this?” Beast asked himself out loud.
“Oh, you’d be surprised…” Said a familiar voice.
“SPINDA!?”
Beast ran over to the nearest cell to discover Spinda lying on her side in her cot, looking unbothered as ever despite her current situation.
“What the hell happened? Why aren’t you at the hotel like the others?” Beast demanded to know from his captive colleague.
“Funny story, really…” Spinda began. “Like you, I was able to escape the hotel by myself, but the cops caught me while I was in town negotiating with a would-be franchisee.”
“Figures, you can never seem to tell when you’re unwelcome somewhere...” Beast remarked.
“Hey, I was simply seizing an opportunity to do business!” Spinda said in defense. “If you did that, you’d still have a restaurant…”
“You leave my restaurant out of this!” Beast barked at her. “Alright, any idea on how I can open your cell?”
“That jailer has the keys, I think,” Spinda answered.
Beast walked over and retrieved a ring of keys from the still-unconscious Chansey, then returned to Spinda’s cell and unlocked the door.
“Ah, my hero!” Spinda proclaimed somewhat sarcastically as she left her cell a free lady, joining Beast.
Beast rolled his eyes. “Whatever. There’s an army of police at the only exit, so I’ll need help coming up with a plan.”
“Oh, that’s not the only exit,” Spinda replied.
“Wait, really?” Beast inquired.
Spinda led Beast over to a large garbage chute deposit and opened the hatch, which was unfortunately just big enough to fit their little bodies.
“Oh, you CANNOT be-”
“You got a better idea?” Spinda hissed, cutting Beast off.
Beast massaged his forehead in frustration and begrudgingly followed suit as Spinda crawled in. However, he made the mistake of thinking that the chute would have any sort of curvature and unexpectedly fell straight down the chute and into the dumpster outside, right onto Spinda.
"Dammit, I thought you'd have the sense to wait after I went down!" Spinda yelled.
"Forgive me, my day has been a bit chaotic…" Beast replied, rolling off of his rival.
“Whatever, it’s not like I can get any dirtier,” Spinda complained as he watched Beast climb onto the edge of the dumpster. “What’s next on the agenda?”
“I haven’t the slightest.” Beast admitted as he helped Spinda out of the dumpster and onto the ground. “But first we should get somewhere where the police can’t-”
Beast froze briefly as he got down from the dumpster next to Spinda to discover that the police were smart to Spinda’s idea and had surrounded the dumpster outside.
“...find us…”
Beast quickly took to a defensive stance, quickly pushing Spinda behind him and waving his pan wildly at the several Chansey surrounding them.
“Stay back, I know how to use this!” Beast insisted, flailing his skillet. Spinda gave Beast a quick tap on the shoulder.
“Spin me.” The Spinda requested.
The chef turned his head to his polka-dotted partner-in-crime with confusion. “Pardon me?” Beast replied
“Spin me!” The panda insisted.
“Why do I-”
“There’s no time to argue, spin me!” Spinda interrupted.
Beast rolled his eyes and reluctantly took Spinda by the hands, using his ballroom experience to give Spinda a good twirl and flinging her toward the crowd. She took off like a top, whirling into the group of eggs and chaotically bouncing between them. It gave Beast an opening to fight his way through the crowd as well, which he took happily. While he fought, he spotted a cowardly looking Chansey cop watching Beast fight from around the corner talking into some sort of egg-shaped trinket. After finishing off the last couple of Chansey, he snuck up to her and hit her with a nasty overhead swing, forcibly fitting her head into her helmet and making her stumble off aimlessly, the egg-shaped trinket falling out of her hands.
Beast walked up to the strange trinket, picking it up to inspect it further. It had a clamshell-style opening like a jewelry box with a strange metal rod extending from the outside, and the inside of it contained several square buttons on one side and a strange metal webbing on the other. Beast wondered if Spinda might have had an idea of what it was, so he went back to check up on her.
“Ah, that was a fine warm-up!” Spinda said to herself as Beast returned to the sea on unconscious constables. “I haven’t had a spar that good in ages…”
“Since when do you fight?.” Beast inquired.
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Beastie Boy,” Spinda responded enigmatically.
“Speaking of which, do you know what this thing is?” Beast asked, holding out the open device for Spinda to see.
“Can’t say I have,” Spinda answered, looking equally puzzled as she saw the device for herself.
“I think the police all carry these, but I can’t tell why,” Beast explained.
Beast and Spinda continued to inspect the device in silence before it suddenly spoke to them, much to their surprise.
“Vice-3, do you copy? Is everything alright on your end?”
Startled by the voice, Beast accidentally dropped the trinket, the device landing on its hinge and shattering on the ground.
“Beast!” Spinda chastized.
“It scared me, give me a break!” Beast shouted, defending himself. “We should get moving before these officers wake up anyway…”
"I dunno, you probably knocked 'em cold with that-wait, is that a frying pan?" Spinda asked as she noticed the skillet in Beast's hand.
"Well, yes? What of it?" Beast said, pulling the pan towards himself defensively.
"Why fight with a frying pan, of all things?" Spinda asked.
"Well, the way I see it, the frying pan is the natural predator of an egg.” Beast began to explain. “A tool forged for the exact purpose of smiting our enemies. It’s also something I’m familiar with, so…”
“Let’s get going, Sir Beast The Pretentious.” Spinda remarked. “Where are we going, anyhoo?”
“It hurts me to say, but I think the nearby jungle is our best bet,” Beast explained.
“Ugh, really? I hate jungles!” Spinda complained.
“I hate them as well, but town is a lost cause right now.” Beast reminded her.
“Fair…hey, who knows? Maybe we’ll only get a couple diseases!” Spinda joked.
“That’s good thinking,” Beast remarked. “Come along now, It’s a short walk east of here…”
Awkwardly climbing the fence, Beast and Spinda skipped town, plunging into the jungle to parts unknown.
“Uhm, Miss Bliss?” said a guard as she entered the scientist’s messy study, piles of books and crowds of notes pinned to the walls.
“What is it, dear?” Asked Miss Bliss, peering over her pile of books.
“We’ve got uh, good news and bad news.” Answered the guard.
“What’s the good news?” Inquired Miss Bliss, turning back to her book.
“We finally got that clone fella all tied up, so he isn’t smashing everything anymore.” The guard answered as another pulled in the restrained clone on a rope. “Want us to put him back into the tube thingy?”
“Oh, I don’t have much use for him anymore.” Miss Bliss explained as she put down her book and walked over to the clone, leaning in close to his snarling face. “He’s a failure, not worth any more of my time. Toss him into the chemical runoff, he’ll wash up in Poacher’s Jungle eventually.”
“Yeah, about the jungle…” The guard began. “You know that Munchlax fella we thought died goin’ out the window?”
“He’s not dead?” Asked Miss Bliss, her voice taking a more serious tone.
“Not only is he alive, he grabbed the other chef we had prisoner and escaped into Poacher’s Jungle…”
“WHAT!?” The scientist yelled, quickly turning to the guard who was scared by her reaction. The scientist noticed this and quickly apologized.
“D-don’t worry, I’m not mad! I just got a bit carried away. You all try your best for me, and that’s what matters.” Miss Bliss explained.
“Thanks, Miss Bliss…” The guard replied with a sniffle.
“Besides, I wouldn’t worry too much about those lousy escapees anyway.” Miss Bliss added, looking outside of her study’s window. “They won’t last a minute amongst the jungle’s wildlife…”
Next chapter: https://rentry.org/uuvy565p