It had been roughly half an hour since Beast and Spinda ventured into the vast jungle, and neither of them were very happy with their current situation.
“Any diseases yet?” Beast asked Spinda jokingly.
“Thankfully not...” Spinda replied. “I hope this isn’t all there is to your plan, I’ve done too much in my life to just die in a jungle.”
Beast rolled his eyes. “Oh hush, I’m making this up as I go. I’ve yet to hear you suggest anything!”
Spinda perked up at the opportunity to toss her plan-making hat in the ring. “Alright, I will! I say we head back to town, steal a boat, sail back to civilization, and forget this whole thing ever happened.”
Beast was appalled by her selfish idea. “That’s ridiculous! I say we go back to the hotel and rescue our colleagues!”
“We’d be missing out on a pretty sweet opportunity if we did that, Beastie Boy…” Spinda claimed.
“And that opportunity is…?” Beast inquired, leaning in with a hand on his hip.
“Think about it! If we return to the greater world as the only two world-class chefs left, we’d corner the market! There’d be no competition!” Spinda explained.
Beast was furious. “This is REAL LIFE, you idiot! Not BUSINESS SCHOOL! And besides, I had the heart to rescue you, so shouldn’t you return that kindness to everyone else?” Beast asserted.
Spinda looked at him blankly. “If I gotta be honest, that was a mistake on your part.”
Beast looked down and massaged his forehead in frustration. “Oh, good lord…”
The next hour or so went by uneventfully, with Beast and Spinda trying to continue in one direction so they wouldn’t go in circles.
“So, you still workin’ for that explorer’s guild?” Spinda asked, breaking the silence.
“Unfortunately, yes…” Beast answered.
“Why do you still cook for them? Those guilds are nothing but hubs for reckless teenagers.” Spinda inquired.
“Believe me, I'm aware.” Beast explained. “But it’s free housing, and I can use all the money I can get after what happened to my restaurant…”
Beast grimly remembered what happened to his restaurant 6 or so months prior. When lecturing one of his staff for improper procedure, he wagged his finger disapprovingly, unintentionally activating Metronome and rolling the move Thunderbolt, causing his entire restaurant to burn down by accident.
“Didn’t you have insurance for that kinda thing?” Spinda inquired.
“I did, but my claim was rejected because apparently acts of god weren’t covered in my package…” Beast explained.
“Yeesh…Still, there’s gotta be something better for you than working for a bunch of scarf-slinging teenagers.” Spinda remarked.
“At the risk of sounding crazy, you begin to warm up to them after a while,” Beast admitted.
“That sounds like the beginnings of a mid-life cris-”
Beast stopped Spinda mid-insult by putting his arm against her torso.
“Whaaat, I was just joking!” Spinda said.
“Look!” Beast demanded, pointing downward.
Spinda looked down to see a large river at their feet. But it didn’t look like any sort of river one would expect to see in a tropical jungle. It was colored a dreary green with large purplish-red splotches scattered about, moving at a steady crawl that one would compare to sludge.
“Yeesh…" Spinda repeated.
Beast then remembered how he fell into a river when he was thrown out of the hotel. This gave him an idea.
"I have a feeling that this river might lead us somewhere. Let's follow it." Beast declared.
“Ugh, really?” Spinda complained.
“I know it’s disgusting, but trust me.” Beast insisted.
The two began walking next to the jungle's river, following it upstream. A few minutes into it, Spinda broke the silence again.
"So, how'd you end up escaping the hotel, anyway?" Spinda asked.
"Well, I didn't escape as much as I was uh, thrown out…" Beast admitted.
"Ooh, did they get tired of your sass mouth?" Spinda teased.
"Not that kind of thrown out!" Beast said, correcting her. "I was thrown out of a window! I fell several stories!"
"Really? Who threw you? Why?" Spinda inquired further.
"I'd rather not explain." Beast answered, thinking that Spinda would not believe him if he said a botched clone of himself had thrown him.
"So it WAS sass mouth!" Spinda concluded incorrectly.
"It was NOT my 'sass mouth,' so shut up!" Beast demanded.
Spinda looked over to the river and noticed an odd fuzzy blue mass floating down it. "Hey, what's that in the river?"
Beast looked over to the river as well, getting his own look at the mass. "I'm...not entirely sure."
It was large and took up a good span of the river, dragging pieces of junk and foliage along with it. Interestingly enough, the blue was the same shade of blue as Beast's fur.
"It almost looks…alive, like some sorta creature," Spinda remarked.
Beast suddenly made the connection, and nearly kicked himself for not making it earlier. That was the malformed clone he had encountered the night before!
"Wait a minute, I know exactly who that is!" Beast claimed. "Spinda, help me drag him out of the river!"
"Excuse me, him?" Spinda asked, her head tilted in confusion.
"I'll explain later!" Beast answered.
Beast waded into the disgusting river and grabbed his unconscious clone by one of his giant arms, Spinda assisting him by wrapping her arms around Beast and pulling him in. Eventually, they were able to pull the huge blue fuzzy mass out of the river and onto the riverbank. Beast put his head onto the clone's chest to check if he was alive.
"Oh thank goodness, he's breathing." Beast said with relief.
"I take it you're familiar with this freak of nature?" Spinda asked, getting a proper look at the creature for the first time.
"Unfortunately, yes," Beast confirmed. "Spinda, this my clone."
"You? Him? A CLONE?" Spinda asked with disbelief.
"Well, not completely. The scientist told me he has a good deal of primate in him." Beast explained.
"I guess that'd make him smarter than you, huh?" Spinda teased.
“Quiet you idiot, this is serious!” Beast demanded. “That scientist showed him to me to say we’ll be replaced with clones if we resist her!”
“Geez, that’s pretty brutal,” Spinda remarked.
“That’s why I’m adamant about going back and-”
Beast and Spinda had their attention stolen by the clone slowly waking up, getting to a sitting position and looking blankly at the two. Beast wasn’t sure what to do given the last encounter with the creature, but Spinda had her own ideas.
“Well, hell-O there, Mr. Abomination!” Spinda teased, startling the creature. “You’re a big boy, aren’tcha? You’ve got arms the size of pontoons! Who’s my little godless creation, you are, you ar-HWACK!”
The clone quickly stopped the panda’s teasing by wrapping his oversized hand right around her throat in an excellent example of poor social skills.
“Oh, good lord!” Beast exclaimed as if that would add any valuable input to the situation.
“Beast, do something!” Spinda choked out from underneath the iron grip of the Beast-adjacent creature.
“W-what am I supposed to do?” Beast asked the choking panda.
“It’s your clone dammit, talk to it!” Spinda yelled.
Knowing the gravity of the situation, Beast had little time to think, so he followed Spinda’s instructions. Standing up straight and using his best assertive voice he spoke loudly and clearly:
“YOU!”
The clone’s head turned to look Beast straight in the eye, or he at least assumed as much as his eyes as his eyes were still cloaked in darkness from his brow ridge. Beast was very much intimidated, but he had experience yelling at people 4 times his height from his time managing kitchens, so he was able to power through.
“You…you let go of that lady of once!” Beast demanded.
The clone looked at the choking Spinda, then back at Beast, the creature’s expression softening slightly.
“I sometimes feel like strangling her as well, but we do not act on violent impulses!” Beast continued.
The clone’s face twisted into something that resembled remorse, turning his head to the sputtering panda.
“Now, let go of her and apologize,” Beast instructed.
The half-primate hung his head and dropped Spinda, the panda landing on the ground with a thud.
“Hey, where’s my apology?” A now free Spinda asked as she got back up.
“I don’t think he’s capable of speech,” Beast noted. “But the good news is he seems to listen to me, meaning he might be of good use to us!”
“Maybe, so long as he doesn’t choke me again,” Spinda commented.
“Hopefully not. But let’s keep following the river. If he came from it, it has to lead somewhere.” Beast said. “Come along now, my clone!”
Beast and Spinda continued up the river an abomination richer, admiring the lush jungle environment along the way. Beast began to notice an odd trend in some of the trees. Occasionally, the trees would split off near the bottom into two large roots, making the trees look like they stood on two legs.
“I must say, the trees here look rather…unique, don’t you think?” Beast noted.
“Yeah, I noticed that too…” Spinda replied. “I mean, just look at this one!”
Spinda pointed to one of the two-legged trees right in front of them, which towered over the two in an ominous fashion.
“It’s quite unnerving.” Beast admitted.
“I mean, have you ever seen a tree with LEGS? Well, not really legs, but-”
Spinda’s remaining words were muffled by the tree’s foot slamming square into her face, knocking her out cold.
“GOOD LORD, IT’S ALIVE!” Beast shrieked, narrowly dodging the following kick. He fearfully scuttled backward away from the living tree before running into his clone on accident. He looked up at the creature, remembering he now had some serious muscle by his side.
“Don’t just stand there, do something!” Beast asked the clone frantically.
Raring at an opportunity to hit something, The clone balled his fists and charged at the tree with an awkward waddle that was still somewhat intimidating thanks to his giant arms flinging about. He showed off his strength wonderfully with a horizontal swing that sent the tree right to the ground.
Beast got a better look at the upper half of the tree as it tipped over. Several egg-shaped fruits were growing from the top of its body, each fruit wearing an unconscious expression. Beast had never seen such a peculiar creature before, but then again this was his first time being anywhere with a tropical climate.
“Was…was every tree I saw one of those creatures?” Beast asked himself fearfully as he watched his botched clone stand victoriously over his fallen opponent.
In a moment of weakness, Beast had failed to notice that another egg tree was behind him, which promptly gave him a good hard stomp.
"T-that was a quick answer…" Beast muttered as he sprang back upward in an accordion-like motion before falling over.
The clone quickly noticed his fallen comrade and the egg tree who attacked him and quickly waddled to his aid, Ready to enact immediate revenge on the tropical crop. However, he then found himself surrounded by several other walking trees. The clone looked around himself frantically and pulled his arm back for a punch, but was interrupted by several psychic attacks by the surrounding trees, lulling the clone to sleep and making him the last one to collapse. Now that all 3 jungle intruders were down for the count, the egg trees discussed their fate amongst themselves.
“What shall we do now?” One tree asked another.
“We will take them to our leader, the One True Egg…” The other tree answered.
Beast awoke nearly an hour later, now somewhere completely different within the jungle where the river was no longer within sight. Getting up to a sitting position, he was surprised to find himself surrounded by not only several of those walking trees but also a small crowd of what appeared to be treeless egg seeds gathered around him and a still unconscious Spinda. He would have scrambled up to a defensive position, but his pan was nowhere in sight, and neither was his clone
“YOU!” rang a deep voice behind him, startling Beast and awakening Spinda.
Beast turned around to see another egg tree that towered over the rest. It was a freakishly tall creature, having a typical body but a neck that stretched so high it went above the regular trees, its head obscured by the natural foliage. Beast assumed it was the leader of whatever group this was.
“Er…me?” Beast muttered nervously.
“Yes, you!” The egg creature confirmed. “My subjects found you three trespassing on our sacred grounds!”
Beast was terrified, he had no idea this jungle belonged to some sort of tribe. “W-well, we didn’t MEAN to trespass, we didn’t even know-”
“ENOUGH!” The tree boomed. “We have no patience for outlanders like you, You’re probably in cahoots with the queen!”
Spinda sighed with relief as Beast continued conversing with the towering tree.
“Wait, you’re all familiar with Miss Bliss?” Beast inquired.
“Are we?” The tree asked rhetorically. “She has caused my people untold amounts of grief over the years! Her creations make unspeakable fluids, which poisoned our water and ruined our home! I mean, look at me! I wasn’t born like this, I just drank too much water!”
“My goodness, she’s even worse than I thought…” Beast said to himself.
“Oh?” the tree responded.
Beast perked up at the opportunity to show he was on their side. “Yes, w-we uh, also seek justice against the queen! We are cooks from a faraway land, kidnapped and forced to cook against our will. We only came to your jungle to seek temporary refuge.”
“I see now…perhaps past experiences have clouded my judgement.” The tree admitted. “On behalf of my tribe, I apologize for our behavior. We shall return what is yours and send you on your way. RELEASE THE BEAR PERSON!”
A large sack of cloth attached to a rope dropped to the ground, unfolding itself and freeing Beast’s clone. A small cluster of egg seeds hopped over to Beast, holding his skillet.
“The tiny bear person’s weapon.” One of the eggs said to him.
“Er, thank you…” Beast said as he took back his skillet, unsure if one thank you was enough for a group of tiny creatures.
“Now, about your quest…” The towering tree said, bringing the three’s attention back to him. “The Queen's Fortress is a short journey from this point, just a small climb of the cliff of no return. The path ahead is tough, but I know your friends are counting on you to save them!”
“Weeeeell, I couldn’t call them friends, but-”
Beast quickly covered Spinda’s mouth and finished her sentence for her. “BUT we should really get going.”
“Very well. best of luck to you three!” The tree said from high above the jungle foliage.
“Thank you! We’ll need it!” Beast said back as he ventured into the jungle, his clone and Spinda following suit.
“You never let me talk…” Spinda complained as they got out of earshot of the egg creatures.
“You should know by now that your mouth only lands you in trouble!” Beast responded angrily as the tall stone cliff finally came into view. “Besides, we have a much bigger problem ahead of us…”
“Ugh, don’t remind me…” Spinda groaned.
“Miss Bliss, we were wondering…” Asked one of the guards as they entered Miss Bliss’s lab as she tinkered away at something that resembled an engine. “Why are all of us the same rank? I’m a deputy, she’s a deputy, so is the rest of our unit…”
“To tell the truth, girls, You all matter so much to me and the force that I consider all of you my second-in-command.” The Blissey admitted.
“Awww…” Both the guards cooed, easily flattered.
“Anyhoo, you two don’t have to be so worried about me from now on. I’ve tightened up security here, outside the resort, everywhere where people are. Nobody’s getting in or out!” The scientist announced. “And even then, anyone in the outer area is in for a nasty surprise…Now, run along, you two! The more people keeping watch, the less likely people are to escape!”
“Yes, Miss Bliss!” The guards said in unison as they left the room, leaving Miss Bliss to go back to tinkering.
Next part: https://rentry.org/2ocaofxh