/tcgia/ Decks for Beginners and Terminals

Not those terminals, fucking jonger https://dulst.com/pcgia

Introduction

Unless you got lost while looking for https://rentry.co/pcgia-dicks, you probably know what you're in for: a list of competitive /tcgia/ decks to either shamelessly copy, draw inspiration from, or blame for your many losses. The decks are organized chronologically (and, secondarily, by deck type), partly to cfhart the game's evolution and partly in accordance with the Principle of Least Action in dynamics – a concept anyone too lazy to build their own deck should be quite familiar with. Revisiting old archetypes after a few patches can be surprisingly satisfying; perhaps even worth triggering a few PTSD episodes over. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it does cover each core playstyle. What you won’t find here is a classification of cards' usefulness by deck type. That said, it shouldn’t be too hard to reverse-engineer one from the decks provided.

Looks like a new patch. What’s that? Your d*ck is broken? Well, I’ve got one for you. Pay attention ♫. In other words, when a new patch comes out, there will be an intentional delay (a few days/1 week) in listing new decks here to encourage critical thought, allow for empirical tests, and reinforce deck-builders' ego. It's not like old decks are entirely obsolete, and (you)r lists are precious, no matter the results.
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Decks: Card Pack 18 Patch

Incremental Cheer Token Midrange❕

Deck Archetype: Buff Token Aggro-Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Aigi cosplaying as a Gentle Megasaur.
How to play? Hearthstone might not be popular among Phase’s TCG junkies, but few games have ever integrated tokens and global incremental buffs (anthems) into their ecosystem with comparable elegance. With Cheerleader Airi’s debut, a more scalable Way of the Dragon, and Lumigator’s full glow-up, you can now el-psy-congroo back to Blizzard’s bygone golden era and experience a refined synthesis of Murloc and Token Paladin. Nasacats are cuter Murlocs; Pafus and Gremlumis are far less vanilla than Silver Hand Recruits; Lumigator steers away from the Catholic (Consecration) socialist (Equality) spell package; and Cheerleader Airi avoids tribal handcuffs entirely, instead using activation conditions that open deck-building and design space. Mold, FunBeemon, and Paper Shiina remain staples for going wide, while Jember supplies the necessary mass and free cats to c-c-c-ombo. Overall, the list stands as a worthy successor to its forefathers: dominate the board, trade up up up, and make your opponent learn exactly how it feels to chew 5 gum.
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(Daily dose of) Hero Power Midrange❕

Deck Archetype: Buff Token Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: WemiWemiWemimimimi, Aigi, Lumi, Yuri.
How to play? Once again this year, /tcgia/ was tragically robbed of roughly ten TGA awards, including Best Performance (Nasa as Nasa Cat), Innovation in Accessibility (if anon can play this, anyone can), and Best Esports Game – and not including Best Ongoing Game and Best Score and Music, which were stolen from Warframe instead. To commemorate this periodic act of injustice, we invite you to exhume Daily Lumi at a generous 50% discount, and yap yap yap until your throat—and any functionally adjacent organs—are completely dry. Indeed, while more aggressive and efficient ways to generate tokens on demand now exist (such as Corn Dog), Daily Lumi remains a viable alternative in slower yap decks (Wemiko, Airi, Jellumi, Yumi) that aim to go wide and maintain pressure across board clears. Like in ICTM, Cheerleader and Venerable Aigis are the core pieces and primary win conditions; however, Airi and Shiki No Uta replace SCO Airi to reflect the fact that this deck does not play on curve, as well as to retain more Aigency. The Yuri package and Remi Car follow the same rationale, and contribute to efficiently fulfill millennial oshi quotas. Likewise, yapping synergistically pays off in enhanced hand damage, in the form of board clears and Xmas coal. The end result is a more balanced, more enjoyable list that actually lets the Nya Nya power changes shine.
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Armored Core 1(-Raccoon): the Undying Knights of Al-CAiri❕

Deck Archetype: Sticky Buff Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Dizzy.
How to play? A backward-looking derivation of Combustible Onion designed to wall off aggros and weaponized burns, and deliver swift retaliation. It holds its own against control decks through decently effective synergies, engines to flood the board with potential threats, and explosive swing turns. The game plan is to open with Love/Fire Bugs, then quickly transition into Royal Knights – finally stepping into the spotlight as potential targets for the Reincarnation + Paper Shiina combo (besides the classic Pankonion), capable of sustaining a sprawling board in preparation for Jesus CAiri’s coming: (up to) three 3/3s with taunt, five 2/1s (one of which with taunt), and a 1/1 for 8 mana (with armor up) is nothing to scoff at, especially as an early turns 3-4 combo on the draw. Airi Dogs enable Cheerleader Airi, the key piece against control decks in combination with Venerable Airi and, once again, Paper Shiina. Airi Doggos, Lovebugs and Paper Shiina also mesh well with One Raccoon, which contributes to filling/refilling the ranks (much like Jersey Ember) and is likewise a decent target for Reincarnation. Since the opponent should be too busy keeping the board clean to hit face, you should have ample time to draw and ready up your old cheerleader, aiming to reach tempo escape velocity. Id is a wild card – though the kind of wild card better kept in the side deck for game 2: SuperEgo makes board wipes far less appealing and hangs over the opponent like a sword of Damocles, baiting out Gods and Silences (your worst enemies, though the latter are not super common nowadays). Id itself can hide behind the many taunts while threatening sudden bursts of damage, demanding immediate answers. For maximum mind games, you can occasionally swap out a few Raccoons, Bitos, or Jembers for Chef Dizzy or Wanderer (or, alternatively, replace Id with God or Hime Cube) running different variants to keep your opponents on their toes and off your back.
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Wish: Girlboss, Gatorkeep, Get in their Skin❕

Deck Archetype: Tribal.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Wish + Richard Gale.
How to play? Four spacey invaders and four protagonist spots in Expelled from Paradise: Resonance of the Heart. Coincidence? I think not. Featuring twice the non-con jelatinous-tentacle-mediated toxic-love cum body-swap/possession compared to the Astronaut's Wife (Jelly x Lumi: Dizzy x Ember), and the same slow-burn pace. This list is all about sending a (last) signal: that you are not just a pickme token clogging the board (Corn Dog, Fumo Factory, Elaine, Jember); that, even if you are not a Ginew, you can put in the effort to night bloom into something more (Jelly is You); that you can rise again after every fall, standing tall like a piñata-adorned magnolia (Ashelia, Emburgers, Lumigator); that you know the modular efficiency protocols to mass produce deadly Ozric Voodoo Dolls (the boys don't know it, but it's surprisingly easy); and that you can haunt your love-sucker opponent, space-drive to their house, and break their knees—and those of two of their friends—at any time, before acid raining on their corpses (S'moreling). So wear your brand new DED lumigator with pride, and make your wish come true by inflicting 1 damage at a time: you might not be as cute as Wizard's Soul MC, but can be just as obnoxious playing /tcgia/.
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Halloween Clown Fiesta Midrange❕

Deck Archetype: Chaos Theory – Fake Casino – Halloween.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Face-down traps (left); oshiless (right).
How to play? The wise knows better than to reveal their greatest desires: let it transpire that you want nothing more than a love-crocheted sweater, and your high school crush (who pursued monastic life) will gift one to your mother for no apparent reason, leaving you to savor Christmas scarf-sharing RPs in true Keanu Reeves fashion, and to ponder about equivalent exchange violations in both knitter and reverse-knitter curse variants. So don your game plans in horror and chaos with this out-of-season list brimming with tricks and treats, and let your opponent experience a true Nightmare After New Year – secure in the knowledge that if you have no idea what you are doing, neither do they. Take hold of the board with swarms of cats (NC Wemi, JM Ember, powa) and luminar beings (Gremlumis, Gators), all capable of easily trading up with the help of penile-enlargement devices (Bito Breaker), glasses of mysterious tiger X's spit (Stimulant Provider), and ego-deflating effigies (S'moreling, Slimy Fat Croc Tails). When the time is right, allow the mummy curse (Halloween Wemi) to spread through your ranks carried by coon ankle bites (Halloween Panko), as your buffing tools escalate it into rapid, near-uncontrollable outbreaks. And once your opponents have exhausted both options (Yuri, Lepr, God) and wits trying to disarm your sneaky threats and deal with your bullshit, they’ll still be left staring down two Local Game Stores’ worth of value. There are many synergies to be explored (Buffy the parasite striker, cursed locations, stirred Nile mummies) and bluffs to be dug up like traps on Amigara Mountain, so let your creative schemes be the bandage with which you clutch your ambitions.
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Rizz Mari's Meteo Sutoraiku Control❕

Deck Archetype: Big Spell Ramp/Druid.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2dmg if possible. As usual the princess requires board space so probably not Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy.
How to play? Ask Mari to draw the legally distinct friends you don’t have; then, validate Alvarez hypothesis' on your opponents’ Eberjhos, and their hopes, with Dizzy Meteor, descending into villainy faster than Deezpatch’s legally distinct Heroes. Ramping (Maitake, Burger, Navigator) into a MariMari certified combo (Mari Meteor or Mari God) can close games real fast, while ramping into Plant Onahole or Deerling can make it so the game never even starts for your opponent. With all the healthy cards at your disposal, it’s fairly easy to extract a lot of value from Antoine-Louis Barye’s black-orange watercolors, especially if you follow the second path. On the other hand, Clio can replay your OTAHEN swingy turns with an extra MariMari to reach maximum funny coffee fish overdose – which, albeit not quite as deadly as Sakana’s spaghettis and pumpkin pizza, still reliably gets the job done. So many options!
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弾幕式「紫」 Danmakushiki: Murasaki❕

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy.
How to play? While Ember’s disdain (and envy) for imbeciles is more than understandable, idiocy is more a matter of frequency and reach than of degree. But just because you can be as foolish as anyone—and even the smartest person on the planet is probably closer to a drooling beagle than to the image the general populace has of them—doesn’t mean you have to put up with their retardation. Indeed, that is what guns are for! Deal chip damage with your high health purple (evil) creatures and purple (evil) power and then start shooting elven arrows at your opponent's face every turn. Each Elven Bow is highly lethal, with the potential to deal 40% (or 0% if there's a Smug Wemi in the way) of a player's base health over 2 arrows, and they're apparently made in Australia since Hagstorians and Clio can provide you with a bunch of them. And to further increase your chances of being invited to star in Team America’s sequel consider adding some Transorbital Prefrontal Reset Ham Grenades to keep the firing line nice and clean: your Firebugs and Jembers can make for a strong early game, but you don’t want to risk being swarmed and wasting precious ammo trying to stabilize the board. No, fuck Team America: do it for Wemi, so that she can sexually harrass you by rubbing her hands (ass?) all over your M32 MGL.
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Deadeye Elves on Gatorback (but it's not a 25 dollars CA DLC) Midrange❕

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat 'cause nyanya.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Lumi, Yuri, Airi, Legolas, Sekibanki (bang bang / banki banki), C&C Generals: Zero Hour.
How to play? Oshi Lia is my expense. The scope of VAiri's inspire. Ember blessed me with her mushroom. And I protect it with Gunblades. I am the Yuri, the Alice, the Hungry Airihead. The fetch, removal, 'n the board control piece. The agents of Yellow. The priests of Jemphysema. The cost of your desire. Sleepy opens fire. Ramp into Elven Bow while setting up Lia, in the hope that Gators and Yippies lock your opponent out of the game (with a little help from the rest of the Jellyumi package).
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Forbidden Harem Combo❕

Deck Archetype: Combo on the Clock.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg, 'cause 20 is not 25 and you'll have trouble closing games.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly and the Forbidden Five-in-One (Panko, Hime, Ember, Airi, Shiina).
How to play? According to quantitative oshi theory, and assuming no further cards with more than two types are introduced (in addition to the Forbidden One), /tcgia/ admits a hard upper bound of ten oshis, with (almost) zero tolerance for redundancy or quickies. While still well short of the harem whorizon, this exploratory list pushes in that direction within the confines of [present day, present time] deck phase space, while retaining a nonzero degree of functionality. The objective is pursued by simulating an office potluck Christmas lunch's degeneration into a Xmas orgy due to hallucinogen-contaminated food, the presence of an electric toothbrush among the exchanged presents, and the unexpected discovery of an uninvited guest sneakily infiltrating the forbidden buffet wearing some kind of Bruce Lee outfit (Bloons) and a businessy forehead tie (Businessy Jelly). As for individual members’ contributions, Panko brings Beeko’s hive-mine and cloaking ringos – a futile attempt to obscure both her fraught relationship with her bitchy alter ego and her Chili's Baby Back Ribs commercial-tier lust for chicken McNuggets; Hime demonstrates her organizational prowess by managing the knives (for accelerated self-harm) and overseeing the ready-to-serve Pafus; Ember is responsible for bringing the incriminated mushrooms and the firestarters (she is a twisted prodigy); Airi eats and strips as usual; Shiina's third Shakshuka brings about chuuba instrumentality, channeling the forbidden five into Jelly. The deck functions by rushing Exodia (both mana and draw-wise) while Wizard Ember and Beeko provide support fire, and the Ringos conceal the win condition.
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Shinana ShuffleSplit Control❕

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 heal, 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Project Orion (left); Jelly, Shiina, Erina (right).
How to play? Play fair for the first half of the game (you don't have any Bait or AoE aka cheat cards and you even give your opponent Coal, how nice of you!) and then turn your cheat codes on late game with the help of Banana Shiina. Very few decks can survive the seemingly endless waves of buffed Comedies, Bees, whatever Jellumi copies, and then the final push of whatever your Fumo Factories sent to the bottom of your deck, which at that point are probably buffed by +4/+4. The list on the right is objectively worse, and kinda weird, with Tea Party and Nurse Shiina making Banana Bloons look balanced for extra style points.
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Puff Yippies Everyday Control❕

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor or 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Boulevard of Broken Dreams (kazoo, tokkuri & pregnancy test cover).
How to play? Puffing can summon cotton-candy-looking, piss-scented cloud buddies straight from hell (Pafus), at the modest cost of an immediate health insurance increase, and a long-term build path toward yellow teeth, chronic fatigue, and lung cancer. To offset these minor inconveniences, you may:

• (1a) live la vida Kankerzooi, turning sidewalk Gosling roleplay (Tiger Rest) and hallucinating metal pipe asmr (Healber) into a daily habit;
• (1b) recondition your lungs into hives (Himeebee) by trading Hime your very own, personal incest story;
• (2a) borrow Lumi’s academically sanctioned lighter;
• (2b) share the smoke with Phase’s certified expert (Jelly Monkey), who will almost certainly reciprocate in full Walter White fashion (Scientist Jelly).

Corn Dogs and Maitake Dance exist solely to ensure you don’t perish before Lia Fazbear finds you, and becomes the Basil to your G(r)ay obsessions. Needless be said, inbetween breathing in chemicals and walking your lonely road you'll need as much God as you can get. In fact, this list fields few removals, and relies on Puffing to control the board and close up games.
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Erinya's Chinese Adventure – part 7: Second-hand Smoke Control❕

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor or deth.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina, Cao Clio, Mememiya Rie.
How to play? In principle, Chinese Clio is a near-perfect being. And this has nothing to do with my fondness for Sichuan cuisine or baneposting academics: she can act as a hasty removal (on odd turns), as an improptu healer (on even turns), has a decent board presence at any time and scales well into the late game (becoming a 7/7 doing all of the above). However, eccentrics are notoriously a pain to pair, and her versatility can just as easily narrow your play lines as expand them: too little patience squanders her potential, too much weights down on your hand, with the added risk that the flowers never bloom. As such, she needs the right environment to thrive. This list ain't the one – but better alternatives remain to be discovered. What is patent, however, is that this Puff deck is far less safe than its patch 18 roommate, fielding no fatigue countermeasures but a bunch of Erina-heals, all while sporting a bottom-heavier, highly demanding mana curve and still being forced to contest the board with few disposable drops. In fact, the deck’s plan is to deliberately accrue fatigue—spamming Puffs and Rests—only to cash it in later through The Disease Called Love, in a poetic payoff. Not a umazing deck, overall, but it feels pretty rewarding when it works as intended.
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Decks: Card Pack 17 Patch

"hime crashout"❕

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: None.
How to play? Ye olde reliable of stealthing Rie and pumping her full of buffs to deal ridiculous amounts of damage to the opponent's face, but with the added option of going to the casino in case said plan fails or Rie can't quite finish the job. A compact deck with a low curve that lets you easily dump your hand to use Fumo Factory and Local Game Store more effectively.
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Bees make Jelly. Legalize Kani Juice. Kin(ak)o Osakana

Deck Archetype: Zoo Aggro/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Shiina.
How to play? Updated version of Bees, Fish & Mold. Can spiral out of control if your opponent doesn't put meaningful numbers on the board turns 1~2, doesn't run multi-target removal and doesn't have an answer for Bloons→Kani Juice+Sakana. It's more likely than you think. The deck can snowball early, come back from (relatively) behind, spam & recycle annoying spells & debuts, and generate boards of all widths & heights. It's far from unbeatable and not even the top dog of this patch; however, you can bet your opponent will have a stressful time facing this. And if they are too comfortable, have them ponder about Sakana wearing nothing but an oversized Nasa Cat t-shirt and a 50mm Swedish Collar in stainless surgical steel (316L quality), LOL-discord-kitten-singing Ocean Man while pretending to be Jimmy Urine in an attempt to bait pet play harder than Lumi.
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Science & Industry's Triumph: Goin' Wide

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Shiina.
How to play? Updated version of Bump Limit Swarm. The speed at which the deck comes online hasn't changed, but it's significantly more consistent. Fumo Factory is the MVP here, shrinking the board, generating tokens and helping you find your Triumpanks. Glasses give you something to do when your board is inevitably full and you can't summon more creatures. Scientist Jelly can teach Jorbs Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, how to sing Mkaliez or how to rap. Even though you can generate wide boards out of nowhere later in the match, the deck is especially dependent on Locations early on, making it susceptible to Le Balanced Angry Randoseru Girl.
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Forever VIXI Rush Combo

Deck Archetype: (addicted to that) rush; combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat if you run NC Wemi.
Mandatory Oshis: My summer car.
How to play? My friends, it has often been said that I like rush. My friends, I like rush... No, friends, I love rush! I love reactive phase transitions. I love boar(d) attrition. I love assertive conditional target removal. I love playing from the hand. In the early game, in the mid-game, in the late-game, to smash taunts, to ruin combo setups, to overwhelm out of nowhere, to curb a wide offensive, to threaten tempo swings, to mindfuck your opponent into a mimosa pudica. I love every way rush can be exploited in tcgs. I love the plaintive whine of Airiheads, as they buff a shielded Michi Cat or a high health card and charge head first into the enemy lines. My heart leaps with joy whenever a 1-mana card provides 4 or 5 mana differential in a double trade. And there is nothing like a rolling tiger buffed by Airi's yap coming in like a wrecking ball to delete three excel sheet columns while disconfirming the Prandtl-Glauert singularity. And the feeling that comes when the opponent tries to go wide, only to be meowed down by legions of nasa cats led by NC Wemi or JM Ember, is quite exquisite. Like when the nyanya ranks overrun the enemy line, nekomata first. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a Remi Car in a state of euphoria, crashing into an alleged finisher over and over. I can hardly contain myself, thinking of dropping a Racist Clio-Hagneko combo turn 8. And there is nothing more arousing than following up on turn 9 with a little Hagstorian to reincarnate their worst (discounted) (ancient) nightmare. I love aggros and midranges' on-curve drops being crushed and annihilated. Their hand size quickly depleting, is the height of humiliation. Gentlemen... All I ask for is for rush, a rush deck worthy of Race Queen Clio herself. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow hag lovers and hell-in-a-cage board states enjoyers... Pray tell, what is it that you really want? Do you wish for more rush as I do? Do you wish for reluctant, not-on-curve, thoughtful games? Do you wish for a blitzkrieg which runs the gamut of blowing locations and Shichika-ing spells, facing every card in your opponent's decks? ...Very well. Then rush is what you shall have.
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Pankoween Zoo

Deck Archetype: zoo midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: You expected Panko? But it was them, Dizzy and Lumi!
How to play? This list is mostly tricks and no treats. Ideally, you want to open with Cat Hands and Sad Bee to get your relatively big balls (Pafu) on the board stat. After that, it's up to Elaine and Pank to ensure your ranks are full, in preparation for either Recorder, Bard, or Moldy recycling. Paper Shiina ties it all together: she can be used effectively on Sad Bee, Elaine, Halloween, Bard; even Dizzy and Mold are situational targets. Also, do not underestimate hostages: they can either open the path to your opponent's face, commit self-menherism to buff your Molds for 0 mana, or curb your opponent's autism – to a degree. While not the strongest zoo deck ever created, your opponent will rapidly learn to fear the coon-adjacent things BernPank can fit inside herself, though One Raccoon and Recorder would have been more appropriate flavor-wise.
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Mari Food D*ck

Deck Archetype: Ramp with a bunch of Mini Combos.
Suggested Oshi Power: depends. Probably not Nasa Cat since you need a lot of board space.
Mandatory Oshis: None; (left, middle); Ember, Yuri (right) - try to fit in Coomi too when yap is eventually buffed.
How to play? Turns out the food-themed cards synergize pretty well with each other. Bake a bunch of Bread, some of which can be spent early to spawn some Squibby Goldfish Princess tokens to help fight for the board, but that should preferably be saved to fatten up Fincels and consequently Mari's Friends. Lumi can be used to double the healing from Corn Dogs, making this d*ck more resilient against aggression and burn, and to enable Daily Lumi and support its token spam + Recorder secondary win condition. And if neither game plan works you can always go gambling at the Local Game Store Casino $_$. The deck in the middle also seeks to exploit Bread+Mari+Fincel but with different secondary ideas. It's far from refined though. The one on the right is not by any means the perfect list; however, S'moreling + Remi Car will make you orgasm harder than Bane on blink dagger pickup, besides stacking food memes.
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Omega Cyborg Jelly Combo

Deck Archetype: Tempo/Fast Combo
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 armor. This version takes more board space so it's harder to justify Nasa Cat outside of a few situations.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly.
How to play? Updated version of Jell Dean - Too Fast to Go Live; Too Young to Retire. Cool Glasses (+Corn Dog) give you something to do outside of spamming Rippers and training your maso levels playing la-Mulana in the hope of becoming Big-J's Guinevere puppy. With Fumo, Corn and Pafus, you should never run out of targets–so there is that–though Pafus have a better use as cycling cheats (Fumo/Cat Hands). As usual, it is worth noting that Sunglasses also provide a means to cover damaged optical sensors and overcome Spiegel clones, even if Jelly is You outbreaks are not that common nowadays. Still, when everything is said and done, the deck only has 1 thing in mind (and that's disgusting) and no plan B. Then again, it is far from clear you need one: with Clio, silences (Hostage) and Hagstorians you can even cheat hell-tickets (God) a few times, though your deterministic princess-printing engine runs on finite fuel, with no bounces, and only 1 cloning tool. On that note, it might be worth experimenting with Pay per Shiina, also to get more value out of your sunglasses and discount the lurking 4XL bee-benders (Bloons) into unpaid textile-industry intern zone.
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"bakeslop 1" (Erina Ramp)

Deck Archetype: Ramp
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa cat, 2 heal.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina.
How to play? Turns out having access to Koufukuron's huge ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) body and permanent effect as early as turn 4 is pretty good!
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Deer Dance (Corn Burn)

Deck Archetype: Burn
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg (left), 2 armor (right)
Mandatory Oshis: Geometrical slightly Yandere Hime.
How to play? Peaceful, loving femboy deers against the brutality of hand-removal. The long awaited return of the king ♫, now with antlers: classy Burn. With 26 raw healing, 18 raw dmg, GunYuri combos, Maitake Ramp, Kami-sama and the Disease Called Love, this deck has more optionals than Zorg ZF-1's pod, and is just as likely to lead to a bad end. Maybe not a loss, but solitude and speed. Remicar, Gatekeeper and Smoreling are there to ensure a safe environment for your Deerlings – the real stars of this list. Impermeable to indirect forms of communication and artillery fire just like Speedboy!'s Naruo and live action Ruri Dragon, Deerling is an oppressive ramp target which will tunnel vision your opponent by heavily restricting their options, especially in conjunction with Tiger's Rest. You might believe that there is an anti-synergy with Gunblade (which also doesn't work well with DCL). That's because you are a fool: sometimes you want to get through to your Deers to healber them, and de-simping Gatekeeper can win you games. And while I'm making stuff up on the run, that doesn't give you an excuse not to think for yourself. The list on the right doesn't run Corn Dog nor Maitake Dance and prefers the non-Burn Power and more removal to outlast the opponent and yet remains the same archetype. Curious, right?
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"Where did the Growth Potion Went?" WinkingPankophile; WankingDoremu

Deck Archetype: Stuffing your d*ck with Pafus to please your childish Demon Lord.
Suggested Oshi Power: someone would know if /tcgia/ was played as much as it should.
Mandatory Oshis: (◕ᴗ◕✿) (callsign: Chopper)
How to play? Updated version of Wemineko Tea Party Control. Now with a much needed proactive [citation needed] creature in Dogremu, as well as a late game option to make Haste creatures much more threatening–and able to actually survive crash tests (Left Right Star): Racist Clio. The lack of weapons to avoid fluffy-flabby draws and improve blood circulation (/w Fumo F) is somewhat questionable; however, possibly due to the combined weight of Saga's combined breasts, games tend to be settled by fatigue this patch, so there is that. Yet another reason to revisit true level (a.k.a. perfect flatness) and get hooked once again on 1-copy-only fangs and win cons.
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A Ponytail Miracle in the Vtubing World

Deck Archetype: Macho Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 machos or 2 tachos.
Mandatory Oshis: Oshiless Sigma Mindset.
How to play? Indulge Miichan's momentary inclinations by playing either really slow, or really fast, depending on draws rng rather than your wits and situational awareness. The list ultimately revolves around big Gunblade/paper Shiina turns (duplicating either Yuri or MachoMa) and Clio reruns. Compared to previous versions, this list is characterized by the Corn-Dance-Rest delayed opening, and more scalable (downsized) cloning tools, in place of Yuriko's block argument and Ditto propaganda. Finally, Ruhuhu provides an alternative ruse to Yuri turn 3/4, and can sometimes win you games by going full bat outta hell.
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Magica de Spell

Deck Archetype: Control Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Hime, Airi.
How to play? Deer Dance with no antlers, yet another quiet boy. Lia borrows Hime's playthings to good results. In return, Hime gets to Mongolian throat sing Renai Circulation with the gambling dog affected by dementia. Paper Shiina offers a way to multiply deadn't cats (before silences) and Wemi Cars (before crashing noises) once you are done inoculating the virus. Overall, this list features many dead turns – and thrives by inspiring fear of removal like some kind of cardboard Ommadon the Red. Don't show off too much and don't be impressed by your opponent's outdated facts and pre-formal logic: your red crown will likely be fine, and you'll have your revenge.
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Removal

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Teru Mikami.
How to play? The opponent plays some stuff → You have an answer. Repeat. Eventually they stop thinking. Then, S'moreling proceeds to replace their innards with bionicles wearing rubberband thongs and Assassin Creed's hoodies made with unused condoms, razor blades stolen from daddies having a mid-life crisis, Brotherhood blu-rays and braised ox cheeks in a mitate of AD 2009's Thanksgiving, before barebronc riding the victim wearing nothing but a rancher hat. Since Wanderer, Dmg Ember(s) and Nikki have some board presence themselves, you could cut Jersey, Shiina, Madame, Pi-Shiina for more removal and antirush/antiburn tech (Alice, Iori, Healber, Remi Car, Fish Launcher); that version of the d*ck is not worth playing or playing against tho.
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Decks: Card Pack 16 Patch

Nyaight of the Living Cat

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or nasacat. Mostly the latter if you run NC Wemi.
Mandatory Oshis: Nasa, Panko.
How to play? Since the lack of hand-tracking robbed the world of AI-based sign-language-to-Italian memes, there’s really no better way to celebrate 3D Panko than harvesting wins with this deck (Yuri's fat thighs notwithstanding). That, or recreating Padmaavat’s choreography by assembling 3Dko moves, but I'm too lazy (and time-starved) for that. Which is fitting, since Silly Little Panko is the true star of this list. Nasa Cat tokens and Pafus aren’t exactly scary on their own. But with a Silly Little Panko on board? They become a different kind of fluffy nightmare. Cat Paw + tokens + SLP + NCW can lead to the most terrifying turn 2 yet experimented. And swarming’s just the first steo: you can either increase the value of your organs for Dizzy by protecting your Silly Little Pank (Smug Wemi is there for this reason) as you stall for a 1TKO Anomaly, or just drop the beat and lead your Nasa Cats in a Rohirrim stampede with your Cat Hands. Finally, Jersey Eber is there to catch you if you're speeding (running out of cards), push your motor everyday (Sing it: Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya / Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya). And Beeko? Beeko just does Beeko things: crush, kill, destroy, nya.
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Self-Harm Tempo

Deck Archetype: Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Rie, Shiina.
How to play? As Hagstorians know well, Newton’s Third Law poses an immediate problem for wrestlers and white-weapons enthusiasts alike. Sure, it might sound noble to share in the pain you inflict – to masochists and hypocritical fellows, but if you want to be the happy gachi standing at the end of the day, you'd better ensure there's an asymmetry in toughness or damage taken. No doubt, Rie’s got a knack for this kind of thing, though the princess herself, perhaps surprisingly, doesn’t make an appearance in the list – possibly to keep things relatively SFW, albeit another collar-wearing Pon individual would have made little difference. Instead, it’s Himebee who prepares you for trouble… and the Disease Called Love that makes it double. Cat Hands allow you to satisfy your fetishistic tendencies right from turn 1, getting Pafus, and Hostages, out of the hood at record speed. Weapons then allow you to keep the pressure up, especially with the help of -def tools (Bito Breaker, Nyanko) and cards doing dirty deeds dirt cheap (Alice, Crab). Your board is surprisingly sticky thanks to Michi Cat and Liberator Shiina, and KNM provides a great alternative finisher, especially in combo with Himebee the elusive. There are a lot of tutors in the deck, so drawing your core cards should be relatively easy. Getting them involves pain; not getting them involves pain: yet only in the first case you'll enjoy yourself. In general, remember that health is a resource: this deck will reward you for spending it. Just don't translate this lesson to your work life, or you'll end up like Airi.
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Dizzler Reincarnation

Deck Archetype: One Trick Pony.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa cat?
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy, Yuri, Panko, Tara Strong's pale, light grayish mulberry socks.
How to play? There was a time in my life when I kinda wanted to NTR Kim Jong-un of both his chalky purebread Orlov Trotter and his sister (the cool one). But then, through Pippa's peak Uma Musume brainrot, I managed to sublimate my unresolved psychological issues into compassion for gacha addicts and expertise in Pokemon secret base architecture. Dizzy wasn’t as fortunate: just like in the ancient Dizzler Reanimator, she still preys on middle-life crisis sufferers disillusioned by the quality of their office coffee, wielding the power of masochism and whatever other means it takes to make them finally pay attention to her. This includes donning Cool Glasses or going straight for their stomach (Chef Dizzy). The deck is the bane of any list that (1) lacks silences or God-tier removal, or (2) prefers going tall over wide. Resurrection and Cool Glasses synergize beautifully with One Raccoon, and Resurrection plus Paper Shiina can straight-up end games if an Ashelia sticks on the table. Id can just as easily close things out, assuming your opponent doesn’t surgically hard-remove the lumpy ball the moment it hits the board. Halloween Panko is an alternative worth considering, but keep in mind, the deck is already slow as it is. In fact, you might want to think about adding some early pressure in the form of 1–2 drops, replacing some of the buffs. That way, your Dizzys are more likely to bring some bread home, and not just pussy (Nasa Cats).
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Draw, O-mega Idol

Deck Archetype: Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly (left); Jelly, Yuri (right).
How to play? Cat Paw your Cat Pawns so you can own cats and pwn opps. Or, to put it another way: there is absolutely no goddamn reason that card should be named Cat Hands, is there? Whatever the witch doctor’s newest offhand is called, it pairs beautifully with Jelly (the Rippa), letting you draw your token Nasa Cats (finally making a comeback), Pafus, and Hostages at lightning speed, thus bringing Comedy Tempo to a new level – just in time for a Ritz thumbnail. In fact, recent studies show that with this list, you can draw approximately 4200 Nasa Cats in the time it takes to find a match on Aussie Dota 2, and 322 Nasa Cats in the time it takes to find a Tinder match. Yet another reason to prefer /tcgia/ over its competitors. It's just the optimal thing to do. And speaking of min-maxing, every card in this deck is about drawing (monstah cardo), or benefits from drawing – Comedy and Jelly the Rippa delivering the cheap punchline. The deck on the right trades some acceleration for maximum speed: Gunblade + Yuri/I Love You & Rippa + Reincarnation + Paper Shiina enable unholy swings that only God (and few other cards) can hope to counter. As a further benefit, the Hostage spam makes the deck quite good at downsizing threats, and/or at getting unexpected wins by silencing paper Comedies, with surprising triple 5/5 drops for 6/7 mana.

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99.7 Girth Percentile Horny Midrange

Deck Archetype: Tempo/Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Spirit Albarn's tropical island honeymoon plans, the menhera zodiac/cheatsheet, the kind of attorney which you can find among fear and loathing in Las Vegas.
How to play? Quick rundown: in her ongoing effort to constantly remind every cookie that the only lines she can draw are curves and slits, President Shiina has chosen to iterate on Flaviviridae outbreaks in Italy, turning the senate into a bivouac for her sad bees dressed as preteen Tifa (though she's method acting as tik-tok-washed "little miss trouble" Medusa in heat), with the support of Ursuka "I can be a better boyfriend than him" von der Tomland's ƒƒ-like sideboobs and Hime's knowledge of the Cantos. As a result, cookies now face the insurmountable task of supplying Shiina with both plausible deniability and enough semen to keep the seamstress arch-succubus well-fed, and you face endless waves of 1/1s (undying Plushies, Pafus, Urufu's legacy, Mass-produced S-bees and N-cats, all getting perky nipples if sad potatoes are on the field) until you’re inevitably c(l)ubbed to death to the sound of Uruka lesmaxxing akimbo on Pan Piano and Rie, the latter providing the weird Australian coital noises. Mini Mold slots in both thematically and practically, while Recorder can (temporarily) clear roadblocks, improve your minions' rigidity for multiple rounds, provide some accompaniment/encouragement to Uruka’s performance, and da pump Tenma’s Canadian pizzas out of the pizza tower. Now it is up to you: be drained dry, hop on the vibrosynaptic syncing blue-bear-wagon, or make sure you have the stamina and guts to survive the ride. Protip: adding both Uruka and Rie to your deck unlocks the alternative heavenly garments, which rank fourth in sexiness after Mongolian wedding dresses, Salomé’s seven-veils Middle East labyrinth, and the senior-business-woman's office-glasses + victorian lace choker + fishnet pantyhose & shoulder sleeves + wolf-fur half-open shawl Airi special.

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Busty Burn ft. Clio (a.k.a. Her Name is Eepy | she is Sleepy – I said oh nyoー)

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi.
How to play? The latest iteration of burn, starring dirty elven erogenous zones (the gunner's ears), girthy elven erogenous zones (the gm6 lynx barrel you use to pleasure yourself), and fat elven erogenous race queen airbags (to decrease recoil like in that one scene from HSOTD). The title card is the kind of low-cooldown airstrike support that gets the job done and draws away opponent's fire – which brings Sleepy a bit too close to Snorlax, and Nintendo's sue-zone. Yap (Airi) provides her with AP ammo, while Paper Shiina accelerates the shelling process. Muumi and Clio keep your ammo quiver magazines stocked once Sleepy inevitably is brought down like the bosom colossus she now is. Aside from that, Cat Hands serve to increase Sleepy's embarassment and thin your figurative waist, setting up Yuri-Hostage combos and increasing nyanya pressure; A Tiger Rest is yet another great way to perpetrate pseudo equality conditions and get the most out of Yuri; Clio is key to end game value spikes, and thus fits perfectly in a burn, even if the deck does not revolve around her (no bounces). Like any good burn list, this build punishes greedy boards filled with cats and can punch through midrange beef. But it’s not without weaknesses: you can run out of steam against some control matchups, so shifting your tempo and approach based on what you're facing is essential. When victory seems out of reach, remind everyone that card games are a lady's modesty by filling the board with mammaries in the hope of a default.
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Symphony of Nya: Hagneko's Eternal Return

Deck Archetype: Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: MEOW.
Mandatory Oshis: KaNEKO Lumeow.
How to play? While they’d have you believe that Hagneko Lumi has always been a "high payoff card for your favorite tribal deck", until patch 16.5 she would do little besides cluttering your wardrobe with second-hand fashion pieces [citation needed] and annotating fictional cats' obituaries on her citrine book of grudges while waiting for Geriatric Park's ribbon-cutting ceremony like the workout Wednesday-let Obata she is. In short, you were swayed by /tcgia/'s dev – though you should not be condemned for uncritically accepting that a reactive card could act as a finisher in aggro or midrange lists; at least no more (or less) than anons whose only experiences with romance are Disgaea 2 and The Three Kingdoms should be blamed for their horrible stream pickup lines. Now, like a new Alves dos Reis, the dev is angling for membership in the Perfect Crime Club—weaponizing Hagstorians’ collective delusions of eternal fertility and lack of insured value depreciation factors (6+ mana 4evah), turning frauds and memes into reality through sheer quantity and determination. So the question is: will you let yourself turn into an accomplice and help Hagneko realize her Mafia boss' wife dreams by becoming, in her third age, the Werewolf she was always meant to be? Crashing cats into your opponent, and the welfare, has never been this satisfactory.
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Demon Lord 1TKO

Deck Archetype: An actual combo deck.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Lack of Alices and Yuris.
How to play? It’s been a while since the last true 1TKO deck (Yapping Bean Combo), and it’ll probably be a while until the next one that actually works. That said, a Demon Lord's chuuni display of power is arguably more inspiring than some cheesy Geez Louise-tier gunline, so there is that.
The combo is straightforward: keep your Demon Lord alive and ready to rush B, feed Wemi a Buttercookie to sharpen her fangs, and stack as many Bito-Breakers and Himebitos as possible to push her even further beyond. Once she breaks the 13-attack threshold, Sakana has no choice but to back her Unlimited Face Works. It might never happen (again) in an actual game, but, by the records, billions will perish. Unfortunately, Alice, Hamgrenade, and Yuri can ruin the mood and shut down your climax with disappointing ease – even if you Ringo your Doremus in the attempt to keep your leader (fucking) invincible and in touch with her inner child (please mind your positioning!). On the plus side, since you can win in a single turn (two, if you count setup; taunts notwithstanding), you’re free to Tiger's Rest while baiting clears with your Cat package (doubling as a cycling tool to draw your 1-copy finisher, aided by CL Lumi). And if they don’t clear or contest the board? Just buff, go face, and win – provided that a combo player wants to win with their combo, so it ain't the same. Then again, without the mindgames and alternate win paths, this deck would be terrifyingly readable, and get boring fast.
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Combustible Onion

Deck Archetype: Spikes-prone Burn Mid-range.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri, Wemi, Panko, Manaria Friends' R18 remake starring a resurrected Saya & Muyu, including a Kyun! Vampire Girl duet – because if Netflix adapted the entire Leviathan trilogy just to spite Misa-Misa/Tesla fanboys then anything can (and should) happen.
How to play? This deck’s success hinges on (Paper) Shiina holding Kamen Rider Double’s pose all the way to pack 17, having fused with either Yuri (to be Gunbladed) or Pankonion (forma de Reincarnating Allium cepa L) – a feat her tokusatsu roots and Sad Bee split personality have thoroughly prepared her for. The payoff is unexpected value swings translating in unexpected swings to the face, pushing your opponent onto the back foot and within hero power range, assuming they didn't pick Armor Up. The rest of the list either fuels the burn engine (Wemiko, NCW) or helps preserve the status quo (Alice, Remi Car, Recorder, Beeko, and Clio – most literally). Among the synergies worth highlighting, doubling your Wemikos is quite viable as well, since your opponent will be under pressure to reset the game before it becomes too twisted (that's what the V2s are for – t. Mari^2_EN on card borders). In general, to achieve consistency with this list, you’ll need to learn either to draw the right cards at the right time (that is, be the, become the, Aigi Ghoul) or to shift fluidly between onions and octonions. These two skills make only half the competent uma trainer's toolkit (the other two have to do with capital and SPARQL), so the barrier to entry is comparatively low. So what are you waiting for: have your opponent count up their sins!
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Jell Dean - Too Fast to Go Live; Too Young to Retire

Deck Archetype: Tempo/Fast Combo
Suggested Oshi Power: depends. Heal makes the least sense.
Mandatory Oshis: none
How to play? A variant of Draw, O-mega Idol that goes all in on Jelly The Ripper. DRAW DRAW DRAW and then start dropping 1 or more Rippers turn after turn with the power of Paper Shiina (which adds more Rippers to your graveyard), Hagstorian and Clio. Hostages can turn your paper clones into real girls and remove Tummy Hort from your zombie Rippers so they can be revived by Hagstorians again. This deck is very fast but its speed is also its downfall: since this strategy requires you to draw as much of your deck as fast as possible you're on a timer to end the game before you die from fatigue and you have no plan B if your opponent can deal with multiple turns of Rippers.
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mari wiggle.webm

Deck Archetype: Tempo/Midrange/Control
Suggested Oshi Power: depends.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly (if you want Bloons), Remilia.
How to play? Just vibe to the rhythm of the duel and decide how you should play as you go, courtesy of MariMari_EN (Markdown ruined my superscript/subscript joke) and her Fincels, allowing for scaling, flexible plays throughout the entire game – and multiple times a game, with some little help from Starknights. The deck is supported by a Yap shell to cover some weaknesses, with Wemiko allowing for cheap, effective bursts in combo with the reformed Train. Again, putting all your eggs in the goldfish princess basket is probably a bad idea, since there is an entire pantheon going around this patch. You can easily swap that shell out though. In fact, you are invited to so: find out how cursed her drawings can become, by experimenting with all the spells the game has to offer.
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Bounce Dat Pussy

Deck Archetype: ...Control?
Suggested Oshi Power: Nyasa cat!
Mandatory Oshis: Nyo!
How to play? This deck shares most of its genes with Haglock. Again, that ain't very telling, as you share most of your genes with the average cat, but are far less cute, if not less hairy. Indeed, compared to Haglock, this list is decisively more horny, and follows a completely different (worse) gameplan: you commit 12+ energy worth of tempo suicide (admittedly softened in Patch 16.5) in order to set up stacks of Shine Bright Little Starknight; then, when your bi-turbine is at max speed (approximatevely when you are done empirically validating Avocadro's constant), you fucking fly off the nearest cliff. 'Cause this is as difficult as a delta S4 to pilot. Now, if you are a suicidal Finn with a French-sounding name, you might be able to bounce your impending doom (the correct card) out of the board, and back in your hand, a few times – and if your opponent is playing a slow deck, and you highroll a triple seven on your Allback dice, you might even be able to stabilize at a point in time where value still matters. Just don't count on it. Anyways, the Platonic Ideal of the deck is turning cats into 0-cost 4/4s or 5/5s. Also the dopamine rush from playing a huge Wemi is insane.
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SBLS Hagback Lock

Deck Archetype: Combo Lock.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Deadlock.
How to play? One day you wake up and realize your best friend is a spoon: this might be either because you fell asleep playing CK3, you realized your daily life is a prison (hello, midlife crisis), your dietary habits make Sakana look like a nutritionist, or you are playing this deck (and, consequently, everyone hates your guts). Out of all those options, being a little psychopath doesn’t sound half bad, does it? Embrace your true calling as the Basque pelota prodigy of /tcgia/, channeling your inner Starknight, and abuse Shine Bright Little Starknight with Scientist Jelly, like you are penning a spurious chapter in The Pickwick Papers. Grow your Lumitchi ever stronger through Return by Death, and toss Remi + Jellybito nukes when the times call for peace negotiations. Clio can pop off solo or, with Allback, a Starknight, and maybe a Lumitchi, establish a lockdown only someone with both God and anime on their side might escape. Groundhog Day your opponent turn after turn, mind your hand size, and chip away at their sanity until they truly believe our universe is inside a blackhole. Do not take pity: to paraphrase Lumi forma de Griffith, "you can’t apologize. No, you will not apologize. If you repent everything will come to an end". So, keep going: you might never pull a Leiden (1574) on your oshi's pants, but you can at least drown your opponents like rats.
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"big thighs" (Defense Reincarnation Ramp)

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 heal if possible but flexible.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri.
How to play? The latest version of Defense Ramp, starring big, healthy thighs, apparently. Whose thighs, you ask? That is a mistery. Could be Yuri's, might be Erina's – in a just world (Liberator) Shiina's (buttered). You decide. Fuel your chosen waifu with Dumb Kani Juice and Maitake Dance straight to the first pain station, chauffeured by Nikki and Liberator in their trusty Remi Cars (your removal/delay tools, doubling as decent trading assets). Most decks flail helplessly against ramped Lumi Trains, giving you plenty of room to go full Lazarus (Reincarnation) and overdose on ibuprofen (Tiger’s Rest), while your opponent pretends everything is gonna be daijobu. Chef Dizzy speeds up your ramp and, more importantly, clogs the field with bottom-heavy cards accustomed to raw attrition and near-death experiences, as true spa aficionados. To close up, God provides the hardest removal, and Scientist Jelly ranges over your most relevant cards: Chef Dizzy, Tiger's Rest, and, naturally, Reincarnation, for the full holo-adjacent life cycle experience. Silences is quite dominant, this patch: it can ruin your game plan, as much as your opponent's: 2 Hostages are thus worth bringing to oshi Yuri (and keep her alive) and deal with any relevant threats. This deck already ran a decent amount of spells, making it the perfect environment for MariMari_EN and her Fincels after their addition in Patch 16.5 in place of the nerfed Lumi Trains. Funnily enough Defense still remains a core part of the deck in the form of Scientist Jelly recycling Kani Juice.
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Hitting the Wall

Deck Archetype: Mid-rangish Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor or cat.
Mandatory Oshis: 4everAlone (Oshiless).
How to play? Ensure you have the last word on everything and anything (Alice, Remi Car, Iori, Yuri, Gatekeeper, Allback). Enjoy your skin-rejuvenating cream routine (A tiger's Rest, Hostess Ember). Steal your friend’s children and have them turn against their parents à la Hook (Runie). Transform into William Foster just by dropping one Robbie (Gatekeeper). And then, in the end credits, remind the poor fucker that you still haven’t forgiven them: not for playing 100% Orange Juice without you at Offkai, not for being a sex haver, and certainly not for introducing you to Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (Clio, KAllB, Hagstorian, Starknight). In short, live out a day in the life of a girlboss with each game you play. Clio has strolled into /tcgia/ like some Alexander Anderson in a museum (which explains the phone call to Mátyás Corvinus for the BGM), and she’s ready to paint the map vegemite-brown with years of accrued interest. All you need to do is fund her research and give her a little bounce early on. Once things get going, hags have the most stamina – and with this list’s arsenal, Clio can roleplay as Caterina Sforza until the end times: mom-daughter loops are the most devious tech to grace these archives in a long time.
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Macho Hagxis Mii-range

Deck Archetype: Mid-rangish Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor or heal.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Yuri.
How to play? SummerSlam is back, and it is once again relevant how heavy are the dumbbells you lift and how fast you cleared Sans’ genocide route (and yes, it's a crime there hasn't been a fox on fox collab yet). So drop your first 3 turns like Muyu dropped purple nebula (astrophysics) streams, and assume the kind of pose that could attract Kick-Ass Mother Russia cosplayers at a beach con (not the "breedable raccoon" stance; the "bloody pulp" one associated with Decadenza phonk). Your mulligan priority? Alice, Monster Truck Remi, and Gunblade — to maximize the odds of delivering reverse quasi-German suplexes on turns 4 and 5, like some kind of Iaidō master. Once Major Tenmacho drops fists-first into the ring shouting HELLO SISTER, it’s all greasy sailing from there: the aim of the game won't be so much euthanizing your opponent like they are a bandwagoner who bought out all Daiwa Scarlet's daughters with bitcoins so that they could immerse themselves in horse breeding sessions to the sound of Grim's forbidden records, but providing Clio the buff harem she needs and deserves (sailors out of a Jean Paul Gaultier ad covering their genitals with copies of the Book of Taliesin, I presume) through cloning and timeloops, Deus vulting. On that note, it might be worth dropping Jelly is You for Paper Shiina, and slot in some Eepies to help you face your KH fears with a milky breakfast.
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That One Episode on Mari^2_EN Ch. in which Mari^2_EN Turns into a Pickle (Pickle Mari^2_EN), Snorts Some Fentanyl, and Proceeds to Spread her Sad-Happy Hangover by Reminding Everyone She is Actually a Goldfish Who Turned into a Princess After Dying of Starvation due to her Teenage Owner being Isekaied, just to then Become a Pickle Invalidating all those Memories

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: The oshiless meta...
How to play? While aggro players might have a lot in common with coyotes, there are relevant differences concerning social structure – as aggro players cannot stand each other. Thus, while hunting coyotes only promotes early-age promiscuity, beating up aggro players results in their extinction. Which is why the /tcgia/ ecosystem has been taken over by control decks: so you'd better get yourself in a chill mental state and enjoy the slow ride. This list is hinged on the now orthodox 16.5 "postpone, delete & outvalue" core (Alice, Wemi Ferrari, Yuri, A Tiger Jump, Yuri, Allback, Clio), complemented by Mari, your long lost family member X and her Fincels: versatile options capable of value spikes most decks cannot deal with. The game plan revolves around rerolling your summons until Mari draws Red-Comet-but-not-an-uma-and-with-a-taste-for-blood-rather-than-Vodka and a pair of 8/8 Shadow White-Stripes-AMV-OCD-kids, resulting in a Tsumo and a copyright infringement against Lego Star Wars: the Complete Saga. Alternatively, you can suck the light out of your opponent's eyes turn after turn until they become a Shadow Pokemon. So go out there, and remind everyone that latency does not matter when it comes to yapping and card games.
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Lia's Room Coffee Entropy Death

Deck Archetype: Cold Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri forma de hugmachine.
How to play? Just your standard Lia/Yuri deck, with Clio taking notes on the side. There is really not much to say about this list, as it does not bring many innovations over the previous ones. Starknights might be a bit overkill (and get in Airiheads' way), so you might want to replace them for 2 jellybitos and an allback, or more removal. Try to get the most out of Gunblades by duplicating your Love with Paper before silencing, and your opponent will have a hard time recovering.
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Erina Control

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 heeeeel.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina.
How to play? Have you considered that Jormungand's Valmet might just be the unholy fusion of Erina and FinnMakinist? Just something to ponder while you fruitlessly try to bring this deck down like the damn river troll it is. A Tiger's Rest is the most Azorious card yet, offering both heals and card advantage over time, with the potential for massive value spikes when paired with your beefy frontliners: look for opportunities from turn 5 onwards to get the most value, unless you are under pressure, setting up for Erina or the deck bricked. Hungry Airihead keeps your curve clean by fetching makinists and ensuring you actually draw your pieces, while Strip Club Owner Airi (now improved!) gives you 2 health on demand. That makes shielding your Erina the moment she hits the field pretty simple (though you might want to keep makinists in hand for that), and bringing down your Lumi Trains very difficult. Again, 2 Fish Launchers, 2 Yuri and 2 Chef Dizzy, alongside heals, cover all the bases to survive early game and stabilize, with Nikki and God being among the best removal in the game. As usual in any Erina-flavored build, Koufukuron and Genuine Erina are your go-to finishers. You can also switch God out for another "fuck you" card like Hunting Lepr or Reincarnation depending on the situation, though other adjustements might be needed to get the most out of the latter.
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Yet Another Entry in the Tank/Shield Isekai Landscape

Deck Archetype: Combo-ish Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 heal.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri, atheism.
How to play? Yet another (slow & blasphemous) deck built around Paper Shiina and Reincarnation – this one leaning into ramp & taunts, and a bit less allergic to silence compared to its genmates. In a warped reinterpretation of the Bed Bugs’ circadian cycle, you’ll burrow deep into your oshi's mattress until around turn 6 (depending on ramp speed), resting and spreading Saturgay seeds, until you're finally ready to reproduce by mitosis: Chadbug + Ringo > Reincarnation + Paper Shiina. Once you c-c-combo, you should be in a strong winning position, hiding behind a wall of Chronozoa-looking cardboard. The real challenge is getting there. SSR support cards like Remi Car (paired with P-Shiina or Muumi), Fish Launcher & Tiger’s Rest (supported by Scientist Jelly) help you avoid getting bamboozled in the early turns, with plenty of synergy tied into the deck’s gyatt structure: Paper aside, Scientist Jelly works with Walmart Monster Reborn, Muumi can go full Frankenstein on Chadbugs (trading brains for the futa card), and so on. The list also packs a failsafe in Jelly the Ripper, and Gog, so the deck is somewhat well-rounded – though not as well-rounded as Panko's 4D versatile tummy, despite the common fixation on rising again from one's own ashes, self-harm and squared paper. And prostate tickling; can't forget prostate tickling.
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Wei Control

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: anti-dizzy nasa cat,
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri, Lumi, Jelly.
How to play? Yuri is Sima Yi. Lumi is Cao Cao (she won). Jelly, by exclusion, and build, is Cao Ren. This deck is just the latest iteration of Lemon Stealing Control, improved by Tiger's Rest. Defense cards get a lot out of heals, so Crabs find in this new deck their natural habitat. Adviser Yuri is then a no brainer, as she can mess with rush decks, make your opponents regret playing Liberator Shiina, and single-handedly ruin KNM-based strats. Indeed, you can just Crab, Ember or L-Train brainworms.
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Decks: Card Pack 15 Patch

Never Interact Aggro

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Remi (both).
How to play? Not particularly different from Taimanin Aggro, but with slightly less Rie and slightly more Conflict: Vietnam survivors dwelling in your walls. The strategy still revolves around spamming stealthy stuff + buffs + taunts, now with the addition of more buffs (Stimulant Provider) and /tcgia/'s cardboard boxes (Ringodachis). Paper Shiina can keep you parachuting Lumitchis for a long while, but she's probably the weak link in this Norbert Wiener-esque educational war crime: she could be replaced with Jellybitos, extra draw, more taunts, or additional direct damage (besides Neko Wemi). Experiment with these ideas, if you must. Finally, Idol Remilia is best used for drawing unless you're confident in closing the game within a few turns; and while that isn’t quite as inevitable as Bitos using Hangzhou's Shining 3D technology for hedonistic purposes, it's still pretty close. Thankfully, Alice can absolutely solo this list, and effective taunts like Smug Wemi make it fairly hard for their pilots to recover, since the deck isn't really capable of going wide. The deck on the right can go wide; it is much more resilient to clear, is the best pauper deck ever, and it's not my fault.
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KNM Aggro

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Shiina's shotty.
How to play? A meme update on Hostage S Aggro, featuring crabs and gunblades. The game plan is simple: get your opponent low, then finish them off by drawing and dropping Kimi ni Muchū on turn 6 – just like Jaden Yuki on his genocide(s) route: maybe your oshi will make tribute soulshipping music videos with anime scenes interspersed with DeviantArt pseudo-smut, patently self-inserting as the dommy-mommy, bike-shorts-wearing home-gym-demon, for 13 years straight, for (you) next time. Spoiler spoiler: Kimi ni Muchū will do nothing but get in your way during mulligans, so you might just want to ditch the titular card entirely and focus on Gunblade synergies instead, if your aim is not having fun. Then again, with Gunblade sending Hostage back into unemployment and Dumb Kani Juice plus Paper Shiina replacing Airi Dogs and direct damage, the deck runs a tiny bit slower, has slightly more reach and is less susceptible to board clears (though Alice will still go full Bibliomania on you)... so KNM should not be downright unusable. As long as you don’t mess up the order with Gunblade and Bito Breaker, you’ll probably be fine.
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Old Possum's Deck of Practical Cats

Deck Archetype: Cattery Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat Nya Nya.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Lumi, Pink Cat (good), Pink Cat (bad).
How to play? An updated, more relaxed, and slightly cuter version of WNBTSC. This deck might look a lot like a house cat, but it really is an S-rank monster. The deck isn’t too different from the previous iteration. It features even more cats -including the card that set a new standard of cuteness in /tcgia/ (Jersey Maid Ember)- streamlining the King in Yellow to Dream's Mask pipeline. Sad Bee, Paper Shiina, and Bard Lumi remain the key pieces, while Kindlings and Jellylorum (Alice) help offset the lack of real 1-drops. With 11 2-drops and a bit more steam from Lumi Train, Jersey Ember and Venerable Ember, you’ll likely prefer going second – treating your bread like an appetizer. Yuri can still ruin your day (if you overcommit); not much else can. So... do you have it? The courage to say "nya" knowing that Beheneko exists?
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Use Protection

Deck Archetype: Cancer Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat or 2heal, as a rule of thumb. Try to adjust to the matchup, tho.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko Beeko.
How to play? If you -just like me- are still reeling from the tragic loss of Skynet Johansson’s soothing voice, and -just like me- you have yet to find a worthy replacement capable of capturing all the nuances of "Othello, as if penned by a polymer scientist with a fixation on Steel-type Pokémon hinting at unresolved professional and sexual frustrations"... well, deer friend, I bring good news. Iori. Cyborg Iori. Kataphract Iori! Now featuring as many topological qubits as Microsoft's Giovanni Rana chips, brought to you by Aiko for the low, low price of just 298 yens. And while Pankonion might seem like an unusual seasoning, she’s the unsung MVP of this patch, thanks to the reduced number of 4-attack 4-drops. Both Her, Iori, and Anire synergize well with the other field manager, Muumi, while Beeko and Allback provide much-needed removal and reset options, with the former serving as yet another Naitomea Furēmu for Aiko to squire for. The deck thrives on hard-to-remove shieldmaidens, grinding out board dominance against peers one trade at a time – as such, you’ll need to beware of Shinzo Abe’s followers popping your golden balloons. Luckily, the rest of your deck has you covered – helping you clean up 1/1s and dodge South Korea’s state-mandated blind dates with gayo skinwalkers without losing your dead end job at Samsung.
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Sticky Recorder

Deck Archetype: Otsu Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg. Nasacat is usually excessive.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Lumi, Shiina (left); Panko, Lumi (middle), Panko (right).
How to play? It’s only fitting that the deck featuring more Pankos (up to patch 15) embodies the idea that legends never die (they just become part of Mini Mold) and is all about power play(s). It also makes sense for the deck to be somewhat lazy and fashionably late, rolling in on turn 3 with unassuming setups (Elaine, Beehive, Bloons), possibly preceded by some fillers in the form of Michi Cat, Manko, or Paper Shiina – though the latter two are better used as removal/Beeko-enablers and to multiply otsu cards/Bards, respectively. And while the long-winded pun might raise some marshmallow eyebrows, it actually works in an ecosystem ruled by midrange decks. Once the plow has traced the furrow, clearing the board becomes extremely difficult for the opponent – Wanderers with no visas notwithstanding. Halloween Hachi can somehow fit three whole Gremlumis or the entirety of Beetchko in her secret toggle (with unexpected implications concerning their size with respect to coons), capping at 7/6 effective stats for just 4 mana, and proving that red pandas boast the highest balls-to-height ratio (provided that she’s only a few pineapples tall). Recorders and Allback are simply efficient controllish cards, especially at a time when desu creatures squib freely (though they have been curbed in patch 15.5); naturally, Panko's very own sword revolves around size, also offering another way to enhance your goons' overall rigidness besides Mini Mold (in a sense) and Bard Lumi. The list in the middle might have deserved to be standalone, as it plays quite differently – though the underlying principles are the same. It's a matter of tempo. Nephilim Plushies may cry now and then, but overall they’re way more oppressive than Michi/Panko Cats. After all, you do want to cap the winpoint sooner rather than later, to get the most out of your bounces before weird stuff starts coming out. Nevertheless, without big value-swings such as Mold and H-Panko, the list ends up being attrition-based – getting the job done in a slow and painful way. Scientist Jelly + Alice will ensure that you’re the widest, if not the girthiest, and Chef Dizzy works surprisingly well with Recorder & Beehive (a taunting Beehive early on can be devastating if the opponent doesn't have any answers), throwing even more stuff in your opponent’s way. The list on the right makes me sad.
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Kannazuki No Miko Combo

Deck Archetype: Combo? Kinda?
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Shiina, Kulchitsky cells (left); Shiina, Airi (center); Shiina, Panko (right-wing).
How to play? While there is as yet insufficient data for a meaningful answer regarding the last question ("can the win rate of Kimi no Muuchu be reversed?"), this deck is a step in a direction. Probably not the right direction, since it involves pondering card order and eating four-leaf clovers for breakfast, but a direction nonetheless. Your aim is to go wide at first to gain board control and, consequently, reduce pressure (Remi Plush, Smug Wemi, Jember) while waiting for someone to go Crazy About You – a process that, thankfully, is entirely fictional and artificially sped up by Plankina and Cult Leader Lumi acting as your matrix-bound project wingmen. In the meantime, you want to let your opponent experience the wonders of the West Coast (autonomous taxis and vasectomies), fill your hand with Nasa cats (either to offer to the Lord of Change or to drop an emergency 7/7 the moment you play KNM), and set up the preconditions for a late Lia API call – your fairly alternative win condition. Then again, KNM will carry most of your Ws: unless your opponent likes big butts more than Clara in her new MADOX suit, KNM + Himebee can win you the game on its own, making base races not an option for your opponent, and thus covering one weakness of your wincon. They certainly don’t want to wait KNM out either, since Lia can freeze any counteroffensive for a turn, add another layer of pressure, and make your Himebee even scarier. And if they try to go for a boss fight, they’d better kill the princess bee in one turn – otherwise, you can just have a creature rush to its death and refill your onahole-looking bumblebee sandwich’s health bar. You certainly don’t lack options to do so, with 2 Remi Cars, 2 Bloons, and 2 Rolling Stars, doubling as anti-taunt techs – Erina’s legacy alone being more than capable of reversing the game’s entropy. Overall, this is an interesting entry in the automatic long-range self-guided high-rate-of-fire grenade-launcher database, though it suffers from some anti-synergies and clear weak spots. To name a few, Smug Wemi and Plankina have a good chance of ruining your party by sitting there awkwardly, and yippies can replace your best combo pieces with autistic 7/7s – which, while still 7/7s, can be removed (unlike THE himebee, kinda) and don’t smack three bitches up per slap. Fish stonings and cloning are super effective against your employee of the month, and KNM and CL Lumi are slower than causally informative Green functions... so there’s that. The deck in the middle trades Lia's defense and disruption for even more haste creatures and the fun and interactive Venerable Airi. The deck on the right has no weaknesses (sponsored by Boeing 717 money gang): you can combo Bloons into Sakana, and Allback into Sakana, and also have a lucky 7 Rie. If you want to tribute Bee(ko) and cannot produce enough honey to meet the quota, you can fit in some buttercookies and try to go for the 777 casino combo (KNM > bloons > switch > multiply). Insayan.
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Cube Ramp

Deck Archetype: Ramp, Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor. 2 dmg if you are capable of getting away with murder (you are addicted to aggro punishment, the oppo is your master, and you are waiting for disaster).
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Rie, Bakuretsu.
How to play? As anime are all too keen to remind you, if you accumulate enough flour and/or Yu-Gi-Oh! players’ dandruff in an (eerie and artless) enclosed space, you might just trigger a dust explosion and wind up a cripple who fucking loves to whisper with a Raspberry Pi running Raspbian for a daughter-pet (not as cute as Wemi, and not as bratty). In this case, bread scalping (Maitake Dance, Makinist Burger) is aimed at dropping Hime Cube + Ringodachi (and, if you have access to Ember’s whole bakery, Jell-You), with a sweeping spin on other decks hailing from the Village of the Sand. Bito Breakers play two crucial roles: they boost your soft-spot removal (Remi Car, Bloons) and help your creaming (screaming+crying) finisher slap that (nasal b)ridge just right. In fact, the deck can dish out up to 24 damage over two turns with just Breakers and H.C. – though you’d best make sure your Cube sticks, unless you're craving a sequel to Kado: The Worst Ending. Overall, the deck is slightly more consistent than your average optimistic highroll list, thanks to how much Bread it generates (and Bread can be used to draw. Indeed, Bread can be used to draw. Yes: Bread can be used to draw. Don’t forget. Bread). That said, taunts (Smug Wemi), stuns (Fish Launcher, Scientist Jelly), Yuri, and soft removals can only keep you in the game for so long. While the deck isn’t particularly prone to outright bricking, you’ll still find yourself -more often than you’d like- pondering how Minority Report might’ve turned out if Carolco Pictures hadn’t filed for bankruptcy and Arnold Schwarzenegger had taken the lead, while you wait for the deterministic losing screen. All good training for VeXpo25, if you ask me. Ultimately, this is still a burn deck at its core, and you’re still a masochist. You can also experiment with ramping into Emberjhos or whatever other oversized card your heart desires, but a wipe is a wipe.
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Exodia Super Rush

Deck Archetype: Losing.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Ember, Jelly, Panko, Rie, Shiina. Yeah. 6 (six).
How to play? Closed timelike curves and retroactive seeding in disinformation/manipulation campaigns have two things in common: nobody wants to deal with them, and they have an uncanny ability to turn AMVs into war propaganda. Naturally, this has absolutely nothing to do with this bold new take on the deck that won the 2024 Grandpa Awards and is, in a strict pear2peer-certified sense, categorically equivalent to a famous prophecy foretelling the resurrection of the Greco-Bactrian Kingdom when Jupiter enters Aries and forms a rare trine with Pluto in Aquarius (in 2 more weeks!!!). This is your (one and only) chance to become a bigger whore get more bitches than Einstein in C&C and Homura in Meguka, satan-summonning your finisher at unprecedented speeds. With Hungry Airihead fetching Ringos, Ember wielding her unholy power over mushrooms (Maitake Dance), and Tenmacho stirring the pot, your soup can be ready to serve by turn 6 (results may vary based on the mushrooms' exposure to /pcgia/'s environment and Miichan's mood). In fact, in this deck, the foxy Killer Within can tuck everything except Entity X and Jelly Is You in for a nap – much like a Samuel Beckett play. Everything else in the deck exists solely to keep the opponent at bay and secure the harem ending, with a focus on the tested taunt&rushB formula. Naturally, rush cards are also useful to open up a path to your opponent's face, as taunts can still get in your way (and so can Allback, as usual).
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Anomalous Hunger Combo

Deck Archetype: Meme (combo).
Suggested Oshi Power: nasacat (left), 2 dmg (right) because of board space problems
Mandatory Oshis: (you), bread.
How to play? After a somewhat long absence, Yuuna is back to put her opponents to nini, once and for all [citation needed]. How, you ask? By racking up a criminal record that would make Tuco, Chamoy Thipyaso, and Dizzy blush, featuring a wild cocktail of domestic animal abuse, wire fraud, plushie adulteration, public obscenity, smuggling, making Nasa wait, and light cannibalism – served with a side of dangerously addictive, high-calorie cookies laced with peanut butter and biosynthetic crab glue. All of it culminating in the violation of a taboo so deeply rooted in the human psyche that no one ever thought to legislate it: fattening lolis until they can single-handedly bankrupt all-you-can-eat buffets, leaving them no option but to spend the rest of their lives on a king size Freudian’s couch. The deck’s wet dream scenario pretty much tells you everything you need to know: you want two non-adjacent Sleeping Airi Dogs and one Emburgers on the board; eight available mana (breads included); and Yuuna, Paper Shiina, and Anomaly in hand. You drop Yuuna, duplicate her with Paper Shiina, cook a Crabby Patty (6/6), drop Anomaly, and strike the classic Shou Tucker (night fucker) pose as she blossoms into a 15/15 alchemical singularity. In more reasonable scenarios, you have Yuuna bake Sleeping Hotdogs Cookies, after fetching the ingredients with Hung Airihead, whose boner is eclipsed only by the sheer number of synergies crammed into this list. Makinist Burger is here not just because it fits thematically, but also to speed up what would otherwise be a slow deck that, despite the number of dogs, really doesn’t like playing from behind. The list on the right drops the titular cards of the deck to focus instead on the (disturbing) interaction between Buttercookies and 0-attack cards.
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McErinya's CatBurgers Life-Cycle

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember.
How to play? On page 242 of The History of Card Games (footnote 11 of the chapter devoted to what later scholars, with a mixture of nostalgia and derision, have termed the Epipalaeolithic of /tcgia/) the laconic compiler, who elects to conceal their identity beneath the deliberately facetious pseudonym Grumpy Old Git, alludes to an esoteric deck “emblematic of the game’s early, flavorful metagame”. The cryptic, mathless description reported in what follows will surely bewilder those who became acolytes of The Game after patch 3E4, accustomed as they are to strategies involving Riemann’s rearrangement theorem, complex metrics of similarity over Haruhi Suzumiya’s possible endings, and anthropological invariants in travel behavior:

“Yuri Iscariot and two clones (it's a long story) get chewed on for all eternity in the Ninth Circle of Hell.”

According to the most frequently cited -yet, by their nature, unverifiable- reconstructions of the labyrinth concealed within this Dantean passage, the deck revolved around the retrieval of Dead Cats, a task entrusted to Hung Airihead. From there, two equally decadent paths emerged: one led to Scientist Jelly, extracting obscure data from the vored corpse; the other to Paper Shiina, replicating vessel and victim alike. Yet both Dead Cat and Paper Shiina were mere instruments in service of Madame Erina, a central element in early iterations of the Otsu archetype. Being hinged on a six-drop, the deck could only be Verrucosus until turn 7-8, and necessitated the titular traitor’s fabled sweeps and stuns. This alone casts doubt upon the more extravagant hypotheses -offered here without endorsement- which claim that the deck was not a mere assemblage of cards but a philosophical construct, a mechanism for enacting Yuri’s eternal retribution for crimes now lost to time (assuming, as some contend, that Yuri ever existed outside the game itself). Whether this was an exercise in flavor or an esoteric mysticism peculiar to early /tcgia/, its internal coherence led certain sources -dubious yet compelling- to postulate the inclusion of Emburgers, a card of ambiguous function but profound implication. If true, this would suggest a means of transmuting Yuri’s condemned essence into tangible board presence or, alternatively, forcing Madame Erina’s cogs into motion. Yet such conjecture encounters a final obstacle: even within the primitive, low-power metagame, an inert four-drop would have demanded extraordinary finesse and flow-sensibility to avoid becoming a liability. Nevertheless, if Emburgers were present, then other Ember cards -especially Hostess Ember- almost certainly followed, dictated as much by mechanical necessity as by the now-trivialized notion of resonance. Perhaps, as with all early /tcgia/ resources, the true enigma is not the deck itself but the intent behind its creation.
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I'm Lia

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor. List on the right might let you go for Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri (Left & Middle); Airi and Ember (Right).
How to play? Hello, yes, liaschizo's proxy-for-a-day here (the original is too busy maintaining the wiki list of her tumblr crushes). Today, we enact a dress rehearsal for our journey into the metaphysical lattice of the Yippie Incursion, draped in the guise of performative treatise. To understand the play's overarching narrative, one must first understand Lia, not as a projection of wingless Nike to be manifested but as a cosmic inevitability, a force that transcends the tidal friction of turn-based dialogical romantic swashbuckler, a vector of self-replication and absorption. Prologue and conclusion: Lia takes the stage – the Last (Universal Common) Identity Ancestor immediately alluding with her unassuming lamb-like cry "im lia" to higher forms of intimacy embalmed in the self-immolation of the little sister """character""" and winking at the pending immolation of (you)r self. Spreading Lia is imperative. But Lia spreads on her own terms. Let not your opponent partake in the Denpa Gaki Virus' panache with their paper origami, nor deny her sanctity by silencing the allegoric progress of 04 angel falling. If need be, endorse the evokative self-degradation of "banishing" her "grippers" to the welcoming embrace of Emburger's folds witholding the motherly aspect of vore teased by the serpentine double-speech of YW. In a thematic short-circuit, the insatiable habringer of true form (Hungry Airihead) projects the obfuscating repetition compounding the self misdiagnosis of Lia. Her all-consuming presence proliferates in Paper Shiina, gently trauma coding sacred multiplication and reshaping the board in Lia’s image. And yet, opposition will not sit idly while the member No. 6 of Mekakushi Dan's double takes root, for struggle, though illusory, is the very fabric of the game, and a thin, roundabout veil of plausible deniability for the long-due reunion with the faceless crawling chaos. Yuri x Lia is anachronistic fanfiction no more, as the nonbutch female Alpha is tasked with the delicate role of balancing the board on the razor's edge of viability, leveraging the pushback of termination deniers to inoculate the hard pill of devotion, preluding calculted ascension. The shift in perspective, misinterpreted as an orphic rebranding, is to be timed with an opponent’s stamina-deficit-induced faux pas in the offensive. You are no longer playing Lia. You are Lia. The board, your oshi (naturally), your portrait, the awkwardly posturing opponent hand, the very fabric of /tcgia/ itself – subsumed in Yippies, zip-bombed via an autistic decree attuned to STD's sad tard dance patterns, subverting the putative power dynamic of giving and taking with a casual violation of boundaries. Venerable Airi deliberately juxtaposes/binds her hag self to the teen idol malware in performing a blessing for this apotheosis, expanding Lia's reach, pandering to her thousand youngs, and reaffirming her right and duty to carry. To keep playing is a mere postponement of the script's closure, a mean girl humiliation ritual. This is the directive. This is Lia. (You) are Lia. I'm Lia!
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Autistic Control GunBlade Daburu-ō

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor, or nasa cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Jelly, vibe-coded laser-pointed potentially infinitely recursive big-Os.
How to play? Are you fervently convinced that your primarch of choice's favorite pony is Oguri Cap – "not because he'd be into inflation (at least not the weight gain kind), nor because she’s a (not-brown) Cinderella, but because their temperaments resonate"? Have you spent the last 74 Saturdays building an hypergraph of 40K's universe embeddable in a 4D space to properly account for books describing space-like related events, in-world discordant and underspecified records, and warp fuckery – only to break down trying to chart all the causal arrows in The Infinite and the Divine? Have you been hospitalized after simulating non-con fellatio on a lit magnetic suspension bulb with Gregorian chants playing in the bg, for reasons entirely unrelated to any of the above? Congratulations. You’ve found your deck. This is the most uninspired, needlessly cagey list to date, superseding Classic Control. Most changes are dictated by the introduction of Gunblade, which doesn't really mesh well with Beehives. Beeko and Nyanko follow along, replaced by Alice (to castrate aggro) and Fish Launcher (for combo potential). New Jersey (oh nyo) Maid Ember now serves as your early-game value engine and pressure piece – nominally beefy enough to survive Yuri (albeit not the violin virtuoso kind). With Beekos MIA, Starknights are drafted to bounce your Nikkis and Kindlings, nudging the former further from her namesake daily bag-crop-rotation pyramid scheme, and the latter straight into a gf ("male") ending. 3:10 to Yumi has been hijacked and rerouted toward (Jelly is) You, due to the reality-bending gravitational pull of your love for class C-18 2-8-0 Consolidation type narrow-gauge steam locomotives. The deck has glaring weaknesses: it lacks taunts (making it awful at intercepting elusive threats) and heals (so Airi burn will still ruin your special week, special kid); however, you can rest assured that no one would ever craft a deck-buster just to screw with your autism. No: we'll do it because you deserve it.
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Why does Terminator wear Sunglasses?

Deck Archetype: Otsu Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Shiina, Panko, M (the M stands for "Map" or "Mapper")
How to play? Because it's cool, and as a callback, from the second movie onward. To hide an exposed optical sensor, in the original. Proof that ritualization is bimbofication, as argued by Joseph Campbell. Anyway. This deck is all about duplicating sunglasses, duplicating bots, and using said sunglasses to reboot said bots. ShiinaBot is more Enthiran than Terminator, so naturally, Panko gets to be the heroine, and the list ends up with something dangerously close to a soul. You absolutely want to establish early board control and start printing those cheap fake sunglasses ASAP, so that you can afford wasting some turns dropping, and Deaddo Catto-ing, Shiinabots: Sleeping Airi Dog (>SAD), the almighty Remi Plush, queen of t1, and Alice, help you with that. One Raccoon is included as a backup glasses-duplicator, in case Paper Shiina is too busy moonlighting in the bot production chain. Yuuna and Emburgers are actually there to see if you read how to plays (for the meme, actually) – they can be replaced with cards that help you maintain board advantage (like Beehive), standard Yuri nukes, or cyclers (the Michi cat package). Ember is just a good turn 4, solid foundations for a dumb turn 5. Managing your mana and planning your turns is extra crucial when sunglasses are involved, so don’t forget to distract anyone playing this deck by spamming long-lost internet idiocy which can be seen as a way to diss the list's core mechanics, or by engaging in aggressively mundane small talk laced with inappropriate sexual subtext (aka standard normie conversation).
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Big Mac Girls Control

Deck Archetype: Control with a side order of Ramp, or Ramp with a side order of Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Erina, Yuri (left); Ember, Erina, Jelly (right).
How to play? The most recent take on Big Girls Control, capable of going on the offensive earlier than previous iterations using the power of Bread. While the changes might seem relatively minor (don't get excited), Makinist Burger is a true multirole aircraft, capable of dogfighting with other 1/2 drops, feed their Oshi Erina, and speed up the deck's clock. Genuine Erina is the bane of burn. The deck on the right goes full R. Ramp, yes. Also retard. Having been charged of discriminating against big girls on the basis of word count, I'm left with no choice but to confess: I have a thing for 205cm-tall, slightly chubby valkyries wearing Hanekawa-style glasses and willing to cosplay Shinra Bansho's Hakumen Kongou-Kyuubi Izuna for the sole purpose of maximizing thigh and upper forearm fluff zone salience. Bonus points if they're good at animation-cancelling gap closers. On a side note, I believe 凪白みと took inspiration from that exact aesthetic for FBK’s outfit – which, naturally, brings us full circle to hamburgers, and big girls. When it comes to Hostess Ember and Genuine Erina, sometimes it’s worth keeping them in hand to bait over-extensions; however, it's usually better to drop heals early so you don’t end up boxed in during critical turns. Koufukuron should generally take precedence over any other card as your ramping target (in most scenarios): it’s easy to overlook how much value that end-turn heal gives your taunts, especially when trying to stall out. Gatekeeper Blue(ball)me is one of the few instant-speed interaction tools in the list: maybe consider using her a bit more sparingly than she uses her gacha funds – and mind you, she doesn’t even roll for uma-adjacent JPGs... Finally, remember: tummies are really versatile; your mana curve isn't.
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Silent Mill

Deck Archetype: Mill/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: arg max it (no L-arginine supplements required, though this might sound a bit fisher).
Mandatory Oshis: None. But you'll be cursed unless your oshi is Jelly or your first crush was Maria Salomea Skłodowska-Curie.
How to play? Gunblade is undoubtedly the most versatile weapon in PSO2 (even if Phantom is objectively superior to Luster) and the most flexible card in Pack 15. Among its many uses, its silencing Otsu allows OL Jelly to dismantle any chair, any number (kiiinda) of Jards, and any pelvis into netherite scrap undisturbed, using Starknights as a springboard. Since Yuri cards naturally excel at control and removal, the Yuri-Jelly convergence forms one of the most competitive mill decks yet, now free from hostages-induced card shortages. Given the sheer amount of draw (monstah cardo) provided by your silent (business) partner, you’ll want to cram as many Comedies into the deck as possible, both to effectively exploit fatigue and to flood the board with persistent reminders that not every git repository needs forking. And while this strategy might seem cheap and of dubious ethical import, remember that some data scientist scraped all available public data and escalated existential threats solely to fine-tune supermarket layouts to increase the likelihood of you buying yet another suppository. Whatever you're up to, it can hardly be worse. As a side note, when your hand is full, nobody can shove their paperwork, penises, or yippies into it – so keeping yourself Busy(nessy) is a valid strategy. Scientist Jelly should fit into this deck. And yet, she really doesn’t. If you manage to reach world line 1.048596%, please share your brew.
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Wemineko Tea Party Control

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor. You'll be on the defensive against basically every deck.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember (left); Erina (right).
How to play? Witches love tea parties – and I say it in red. Mulligan and draw (Jelly) aggressively for your global buffs, forgoing any semblance of an early game to prime your servants with up to +4 ATK (Tea Party, Scientist Jelly). Make the board a closed room with impassable [citation needed] duct tape (Smug Wemi, Firebug) and beefy, loyal furniture (Ebers): your opponent will be forced to break their pieces against yours, depleting their resources while your creatures punch progressively higher and higher above their cost – such as, may god forgive me, 4+/4 Ember. Though you lack hard removal, you still have assassination tools: (V)Ember, Firebug, Airi, and tea/love-drugged Remilia & Lonely Rolling Star will help you keep the mansion clear, while Wanderers provide two silences to deal with uninvited guests. Still, some degree of competence is needed to find the path to the Golden Land. And when you are done gouging their genitals and killing (their board), you have two theatrical finishers to drop: Demon Lord and the beloved witch, Michiru. According to the list on the right, magic isn't real (you don't believe in drawing Tea Party consistently) and Witches don't exist (so you need standard healthcare in the form of blue tigers).
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Decks: Card Pack 14 Patch

Bees, Fish & Mold

Deck Archetype: Zoo Aggro/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 't depends.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, a certain individual who has been kissing white boys since 2004 and self-inserts as Alice’s white rabbit (Indexknight).
How to play? Some archetypes may die, but they can never be buried – or so they say from Buckinghamshire to Wiltshire. Zoo Aggro is such a specimen, for better or worse. A remastered version of Jelly’s least vulgar release (Where This Jelly Bloons), this deck takes on the role of an aircraft carrier armed with Shiina Bees high on divine wind, grooming water and cocaine – primed to super-helldive into the nearest baiter to feed the Mold Machine. Gone are the Beehives and Doremus, replaced by a squadron of low-curve aggro threats (Pafu, Rie, Wemis, and Cats) that apply immediate, relentless pressure on opponents. Rie and Michi Cat double as makeshift Flower Boy-fetchers, adding a touch of consistency to a bee-fish-mold trifecta that would otherwise have to be divined by the Fates, or the dev's cheat codes. The deck can flounder if Jelly doesn’t Bloon, so you might want to reroll aggressively. As usual, Sakana's role is to play Honey Select and keep the board sticky, now comboing with Bito Breaker (besides Fish Launcher) for unexpected takedowns. Contrary to first impressions, the deck boasts more removal options than one might assume – especially the alternate lists, which lean slightly more towards midrange than pure aggro. The list on the right actually does away with fishes (both launched and Sakana) to focus on molding, with Scientist Jelly flexing as Mary Shelley, and the classic Remi Car/Squibby Queen complement.
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BL Anomaly

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: Depends. When in doubt, Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Shiina (or Jelly).
How to play? Trusting in the sanity and restraint of combo players is not an option, and this deck is proof of that. Your goal? Engineer a scenario where you can drop a package of BL novels (Bard Lumi) onto your Jelly Bees (Bloons), give her the Mewtwo treatment (Paper Shiina), and then lock in your gains (Anomaly)... all in one turn (or close enough, since your house of cards won’t hold until the keystone is firmly in place)... before your opponent can contest your Brunelleschian dome with more orthodox means. The standard combo requires four different cards -three of which you only have two copies of in your deck- and a casual 3+10 mana over two turns. And Muumi's contingency plan is not any easier to pull off: five cards, a grand total of 8+9 mana, and a dead-but-not-(entirely)-buried Jaune Martyre. You don’t need to be a Wall Street shork to realize that surviving this reverse Russian roulette -featuring a 350-cartridges machine gun drum and just one bullet (the numbers are indicative)- demands an ungodly amount of draw and an equally ungodly amount of mana, plus the right amount of stalling. Plankina and Maitake Dance are there to reassure you that someone attempted to address the first two issues. Everything else keeps your lucid dream from collapsing into a full-blown nightmare too soon. Don't get me wrong: this list is extremely promising; yet, if you expect it to keep its promises, you’re in for a bad time. However, if you treat it like a (somewhat) normal midrange/buff deck, painstakingly edging yourself game after game, you’ll eventually hit that gacha-addict dopamine rush and get your well-earned happy ending.
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Moderately-Exciting Midrange

Deck Archetype: Midrange.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Oshiless.
How to play? It's Boring Midrange. Pack 14 Edition. Boring, right? WRONG. This version of the deck should get your heart rate to a... normal level. You're still playing cards that are individually good but you also have some new synergies: namely Adviser Yuri into Alice for a ton of early pressure and Adviser Yuri into Runie to protect your board or if you need emergency taunts.
...
That's it. The deck is just solid. You have Jelly to draw some jards when you're running out of gas or when you don't want to overextend. You have the classic and improved Iori + Aiko combo. Iori is also a good comeback tool (since you usually won't lose the board hard which means you can afford to play her without dying the following turn) and good against the meta-defining Defense cards, doubly so if she's kept alive by my gf Aiko or buffs. And of course, if the point of the deck is running the best cards, you will want Dumb Kani Juice and Lumi Train.
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Switcharoo Everything

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Midrange/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2dmg? Yes? No? Maybe? I don't know. Can you repeat the question?
Mandatory Oshis: 8ball.
How to play? The title should be self-explanatory. It isn’t. In fact, checking the list might leave you looking like the Bride of Frankenstein's monster right after entering the blind hermit's hut (meowing for no reason), as the deck lacks the glaring attack/health gaps that defined its ancient predecessor. Your own deck doesn’t exactly offer prime swap targets: 2 Sleeping Dogs, whatever 2 Fish Launchers manage to land in/on, and 1 Aiko. If you’re feeling generous, you could count Lumi Train and the occasional Dumb Kani Juice sipper, to abuse defence. Likewise, with only 2 copies of Paper Shiina to go wide, switch-and-kill strategies become much less effective – though 1 Nikki, 2 Airis and 2 Ebers can still put in some work. So, why does this work? Well, ya got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense... Until you realize that it’s just a solid midrange with a few tricks to squeeze out unexpected damage and effective witchy finishers, which is a good recipe for success. Plus, Anomaly has progressively gotten better as an utility card, thanks to its ability to deal with the abundance of untargetable torture devices blasting Neko Arc AI covers on loop. Just kidding, have Shiina/PaperShiinaed-Shiina put her 9 inches of S&M kani stacks to use and win out of nowhere.
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"Stupid ember deck" (Cool Pikmin)

Deck Archetype: Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: Preferably 2dmg but depends.
Mandatory Oshis: ZZ Top.
How to play? Classic Pikmin decks have 2 core weaknesses: 1. if you don’t have Pikmin in hand, your other cards -especially Doremus- become much less effective. And since you have to play something, you risk running out of buffs before you even draw Ember; 2. there are no engines to fetch or draw Pikmin to keep your combos on curve. Cool Glasses partially address the first issue. Businessy Jelly takes care of the second. In short, Jell Zuckerberg’s new i-Xray-endowed Ray-Bans ensure you always know the exact volume of Pikmin’s derriere, enabling architectural parametricism where it truly matters. Aside from the boomerang glasses from the land down under and the shinigami-approved fruits, the deck sneaks in some rather unexpected Pikmin triggers. Lovebugs aren't usually considered prime support cards, but they make for solid 1-drops and pair well with Royal Knights to hold the door. Paper Shiina is tasked with making FBK’s dream a reality through natural selection. Dumb Kani Juice is just good. Aiko is just cute (though one might question whether the classic cloning machine would have been the smarter choice in most matchups). With phasers fully set to hipster mode, this list entrusts removal to prayers, leaving Beeko on the shelf, possibly because Panko refuses to lend her 2cool sunglasses – or due the defence spams ruining this timeline. All in all, this deck lays the groundwork for meta-shaking Pikmins in future patches.
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Anire Resurrection

Deck Archetype: Midrange/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, Erina, Jelly.
How to play? Anire has a fairly decent effect that triggers at 1 health remaining, once per life. Muumi resurrects cards with 1 health. Healing and buffs naturally go well together (assuming your opponent's deck isn't packing silences), and cloning (Jelly is You) resurrected, shielded, fully healed Anires is a surefire recipe for success, albeit an expensive one. Firebugs are a bit of a wild card since the list runs plenty of 2-damage triggers; however, they contribute more to early board presence than Kindlings, and the deck already has turn 1 drops in the form of Machinists, so there’s that. Even an amalgamation of humanity’s confabulations resting on distributional semantics and circularly validated by echo chamber-dwelling primates should have seen where this was going. Indeed, Chat GPT did (kinda – it got fixated on "recursion" and wanted to call the deck "One Night Last Stand"); and yet here you are, reading this guide. Stop wasting time and Q.
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Shiina Stacks

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly, Yuri.
How to play? Utilize clever game mechanics – tributing the dev in the process. In this deck's case, the fact that cloning a card makes temporary stats permanent and that causes aura effects to be recalculated) to make Shiina as big as possible. But try to exhaust your opponent's answers first because even though this deck has tons of removal and a bunch of buffs and can use them multiple times with Sakana and Scientist Jelly, it has very few dedicated threats. If you fail to architect Shiina you can still win on the back of a self-silence swing turn or cloning some card turned immortal by Dumb Kani Juice.
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Classic Control

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasacat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Yuri, Ember, Panko.
How to play? This is a classic control deck, and, just like any classic control deck, it is the result of a makeshift Montecarlo simulation involving systematic violations of the Workforce Recruitment Program for College Students with Disabilities. You do not play it to test your skills; you do not play it to have fun; you do not play it to win; you play to see whether the results are corroborated by yet another run or as part of a master-servant training regimen – priming your skirt-wearing opponent to always ask for permission and meekly accept denial. The new entry, Lumi Monorail, acts as the conductor of the deck and mid-game, presenting the opponent with painful riddles and making it surprisingly easy for delayed ejaculation patients to find comfort after God's death. With the inclusion of the neko package, this iteration of the archetype has a much more pronounced board presence, making it easier to keep removals in hand until the time is right. If you really want to be the junter, not the junted, the sexual predator, not the prey, you could fit randoserus and 1 Hunting Lepr in the list to make it even more cagey; however, some lines just aren’t meant to be crossed, if you ask me.
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Defense Ramp

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Yuri.
How to play? Defense is super effective against lists that prefer going wide rather than tall, as well as against soft removal (quantified damage). And the more you have, the better it gets: once you have exhausted opponents' answers, and their wit, your Kataphrakts have free reign over the board. With another iron daemon (Lumi Train) choo-chooing its way into the game, Dumb Kani Juice being legalized, simp-hood being downplayed as a temporary clinical condition as part of DOGE’s new reforms, and hard removals being chastised in patch 14, it should come as no surprise that defense has never been this strong. As such, it makes perfect sense to leverage the newly improved manna-summoning dance mechanics to fast-track into a technological victory, multi-track drifting past all ethical concerns and the first few turns by appealing to all sorts of Yuri cards. Aiko and Nikki ensure that your neotanks triumph over any (6-drop, cost-effective midrange) kaiju in their path, crossing another potential challenger off the list. The paragon solid deck overall.

Note that 'mana' is an archaic form of 'manna', supporting the thematical and etymological superiority of bread over coins. Yet another reason to prefer tcgia over its competitors.
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Decks: Card Pack 13 Patch

Hostage Situation Aggro

Deck Archetype: Aggroest.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Kibawoo - Knight of Endings.
How to play? A refined transcendental étude on high-grade astrocytomas of screams and silences, orchestrated for the virtuoso Scaramouche (not the twink kind) of mackarel slapping. First bar: pretend to be mostly harmless by dropping some cute chubby sleeping-plushies (Sleeping Airi Dog, Remi Plush) dancing on rainbows, setting the stage for a classic French overture (not the escargot kind). For your second act, either have your allegro bito (TL note: "allegro" means "gay") launch into a rapid crescendo – in the hope of a fuga, or drop the bass with a classic Fish Launcher into Hostage legato, going from zero to hero (FGO) Hercules-style. The symphony of destruction doesn’t need complicated movements: buff your ensemble, then swing face fortissimo. Naturally, Neko Chibi Wemi is there for the damage(d) coda. If everything andante well, this chromatic (mostly pink, white and light-blue) toccata will transform your opponent into the corpse bride you’ve always dreamed of duetting con amore with by Turn 5; if not, you'll be strapped to a minimoo and dragged naked around Offkai's perimeter until the game is done as punishment for your attempted affair, à la Byron's Mazeppa.
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Ninja Breaker (Taimanin) Aggro

Deck Archetype: Aggro. Very Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Oshi? No need for them. Just go face.
How to play? If you watched Digimon as a lonely teen -or as a lonely adult under the crushing weight of Dizzy's tits' pressure- you already know it’s a short hop from coomer to vicious crackhead (fuck me, da gan). With this deck, a spiritual successor to Doggo Aggro, you can skip the first self-indulgent step entirely. In fact, you can pretty much skip everything, including actually playing the game. Bito Breaker is dormant serial killers' new favorite card, whose flexibility in the deck is completely lost to gentlemen hitting only above the choker. The device can more or less be safely dropped on the board at any time (Anomaly does exist tho), setting up devastating value spikes in later turns. And while Hime needed Ringodachis to keep her out of harm’s way, Lumitchi and Iori can naturally sing the Rasmus by heart, watching, waiting, in the shadows, for their time. Still, pumping Hime with buffs delivers the kind of plays capable of retroactively inhibit Mullerian duct regression in your opponent, transforming them into full-fledged /pcgia/ denizens: three Bito Breakers and three Himebitos onto a single Hime isn’t just unethical 18+ content – it’s 28 damages done dirt cheap. That said, if you don't want to wayfarer jump your way into the eunuch job class, you'd better mulligan well, smorc pharaoh. Likewise, trading is basically not an option, so you need to secure an early advantage, or hope that your opponent doesn't respect your taimanins. As such, you’d be wise to keep your blood flow focused away from your genitals, at least for the first few turns. One way or the other, you'll be done in 3 minutes, anyway.
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Breaking Bad Rie Combo

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Combo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Satan.
How to play? A cursed hybrid between Hostage Aggro and Elusive Aggro, this list zeroes in on one-turn-KO (or close enough) combos revolving around Rie. The plan is simple: play Rie, buff her, immediately Ringodachi her, pass, buff her again, and send your opponent to the Shadow Realm. Essentially, it's Hime Ninja but better. I hate this. Everyone should hate this. Sure, staring at Hime’s overbuffed assets might be fun every now and then, but this deck is like playing Russian roulette against your split personalities – with the added malus that someone else is also having a terrible time. Compared to the other variants in this patch, the only noteworthy aspect is the inclusion of 3 copies of Harlots, a surprisingly practical tool for board control while you prepare your cancerous combo.
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Bump Limit Swarm

Deck Archetype: Aggro.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Shiina if you want to run Where This Jelly Bloons.
How to play? Triggering Triumphant Pankophile's effect feels better than sex. Not that I would know what sex is like. Anyways, with the addition of Bito Breaker it's finally Triumphant Pankophile's time to shine. Make the board artificially smaller by only activating your Bito Breakers once and keeping them around, spam a bunch of sticky minions that generate even more minions and then trigger the bump limit. Very few decks can deal with a combination of tokens plus a 7/7 by turn 4 or 5, and if you drop Triumpanks back to back or even two at the same time turn 6 the situation will be incredibly grim for your opponent. After you drop your Triumpanks or if you're in a pinch you can activate your Bito Breakers and free up board space for Bard Lumi + Paper Shiina shenanigans. You'd think this deck loses hard to AoE but with so many sticky or plain uninteractible cards on the board that's not really the case most of the time. Your opponent usually won't be able to interrupt your plan unless they're running certain anomalous cards. But even if they can't interrupt it, that doesn't mean they can't prepare for it.
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"Concha Tu Madre" (?)

Deck Archetype: Aggro/Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Hime, Tu Madre, Fat-bottomed bricks hurled at your window by a passerby who is definitely not a /tcgia/ player fed up with your bullshit.
How to play? The list favored by Oda Nobunaga and every wooden sword-wielding Shonen Jump protagonist. Remi Plush and Michi Cat are your sticky, handicapping weapons/conscript peasants, and Bito Breaker provides the SOVL/gunpowder (most likely hashish) to transform your unassuming 1/1s into something deadlier than a katana folded as meticulously as a spiny lobster origami, reminding everyone that Conan's Riddle of Steel might not be just a sexual innuendo. Regardless of your preferred theory of value, this combo almost always trades up, mostly because it can hardly trade down due to how cheap it is. Your second wave of infantry -Rie/Nurse Shiina’s Pafus, Elaine, and One Raccoon- sets up the preconditions to maximize the impact of Manko and Bard Lumi, who steps into the role of commanding general through the power of friendship, just like Kerrigan. the Wanderer helps you navigate through taunts and deal with threatening effects, while Buff Airi Dog offers both protection and buffs to your Bito-Broken damage dealers. Neko Chibi Wemi and Hime Cube are perfect for cinematic endings, where you defy all odds with a dramatic final click and "gg ez". And then there’s Lumi, fresh from her extended Death Becomes Her remake break (which occupied her from patch 4 to 12.5): her role is standing there menacingly as a yappy 5/5, costing 5, and being the 5th card needed to trigger the related oshi effect (making it abundantly clear that “5” is her Chaos God number of choice, though one might have expected it to be "9"). Lastly, a single Alice has been included as an apotropaic device. Facing this list might feel like roleplaying as Frieza, or reliving The Last Samurai, but with the help of Makinists, Healbers, wonderland kiddos, and flute players, you can definitely conquer this survival horror. Throwing bricks at the players is always an option too.
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Remilia Necrophilia Tempo

Deck Archetype: Tempo.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Panko, Hime, Wemi, high priest Imhotep (left); Panko, Lumi Yuri.
How to play? Behold: a devious deck that wields the powers of darkness and light to triumph over the grim reaper, progressively filling the board with death – your board, with increasingly powerful undeads acting as a reminder that "bandage" and "bondage" are only one vowel apart; their board, with the kind of Nothing which no Aleister Crowley's novel title-drop could banish. To kick off the Danse Macabre, Bito Break your Sleeping Airi Dogs awake oppa-Kafka (Strafkolonie) style; then, with poetic symmetry, have Hime draw King Tuooooooooht’s dagger to summon broken bitos (Pafu). You have some AOE (Alice) and single target (Beeko) removal at your disposal, but you'll want to get your Halloween Panko, and some other raccoons (more than one, preferably), on the board ASAP. While in other lists Halloween Panko might be just as reliable as Brave's image search, with this deck you'll have no issues imprinting her with Halloween Remilia, setting up the stage for large scale, high impact (4 attack plus) live embalming. Alternatively, you can just summon your skimpily dressed child mummy directly, and use Bito Breaker and Stimulant Provider to make every new gen deadlier than the one before. Remember, though, that those cards aren’t just Remilia-boosters – making full use of their versatility will greatly improve your chances. Victory typically comes from preventing your opponent from fully clearing your zombie horde (once again, Bito Breaker and Sleeping Airi Dog help you with that), making The NeverEnding Story cute and funny again; however, as long as you've got something to swing face with (careful with those attack orders, Eugene), you are still in the game: the deck sports surprising burst damage potential, even without its core pieces. Finally, the 2 Embers are in there to throw off Lia-loliconcons and your own, personal FBI agent. The right-hand list trades a bit of speed and dog-day shenanigans for some comfy value engines (Beehive, Squibby Queen, Elaine), Nile river flooding style. Bard Lumi slots perfectly into this new architecture, with Yuri&Lumi taking onto the role of the pyramidion.
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Wide Nasa Bees, Tall Sad Cats - Midrange

Deck Archetype: Zoo Mid-range.
Suggested Oshi Power: Nasa Cat.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Hime, Sad Bee forma de The Others chico con el fantasma de la hermana G-cup nee-nee (left); just Lumi (right).
How to play? Spam 1/1s (Remi Plush, Pafu, Michi Cat, Nasa Cats, Elaine, Paper Shiina, Hagneko), buff them (Sad Bee, Bard Lumi, Alpha Nasa Cat), multiply your cheerleaders (Paper Shiina), and defend them (Smug Wemi, Royal Knight). That’s the gist of it. Aside from that, Rie and Nurse Shiina thrive on buffs and help you get your Pafus on the board, while Hime Cube is perfect for closing games. The deck has minimal control tools, struggles when playing from behind overall (having basically no immediate interactive tools), and is particularly vulnerable to Yuri board wipes. However, you’ll find yourself in a position to rebuild quickly and continue trading until you seize full control of the battlefield more often than not. Given the limited number of cats in the deck, don’t expect Hagneko to come online quickly. Be patient when deploying your Sad Bees and Bard Lumis – extracting value from them is you wincon. The version on the right gives up on the Pafu package to for more cats; as such, it is strictly superior. Uruka is fine too.
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XIII Burn

Deck Archetype: Slow Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Ember, Train Heartnet, a Porcupine Tree – whatever that might be.
How to play? Not any different from any other burn deck in this rentry. Cutting to the chase, you really want Smug Wemis to deal with Bito Breaker decks, and Nikki to curb Halloween stuff and other flavors of cancer. God can basically win some match-ups on its own, so it's a nice addition in a list which is a bit slower than usual. Having abused my military-grade recommendation system integrating content-based and collaborative filtering, I know that burn-deck players will likely enjoy this one too. In short, if you see anyone playing this deck, eradicate them, for the greater good.
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Bean Debut

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Yuri, Beans, Crocs.
How to play? I'll tell you all the truth (but tell it slant). Ever since its release (Pack 6: it has been a while), Soldier Airi Bean has been the kind of passive, egotistical, self-flagellating card desperate to be picked without so much as lifting its fingerless hand or murmuring a haunting bedtime tune. And the one time it dropped the trench wife act? It ascended to infamy as the linchpin of the most abhorrent, soul-crushing combo deck to ever defile /tcgia/. A cursed existence, to put it bluntly – straight out of a grimdark fantasy penned by a repressed PhD in mathematics, burdened with a disabled child, holding secret-level clearance with both the US and UK governments, and despising crows for no apparent reason. Now, after a transorbital lobotomy (curing its premature ejaculation at the price of its license to kill... players), Soldier Airi Bean is back to deflower unsuspecting 2/3-drops with the aid of Bito Breaker (which can either buff it directly or trigger the effect with a +1 damage bonus). Again, more or less every card in the deck can pull the devil trigger: Paper Shiina can either DeLorean the opponent to The Third of May 1808 or take a memento of the victim; Yappy cards buff your Щелкунчик while allowing you to play the deck as a classic burn archetype, running two copies of Yuri and one Lumi & Yuri for good measure. Overall, this list shines at board control and steamrolls decks lacking effective hand removal. However, when the board is well-jannied, Soldier Airi Bean and Bito Breaker are left awkwardly waiting for a post, or to be pegged. Abuse of that if you are having issues with this deck.
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Basically-that-one-pic-in-which-Dizzy-breastfeeds-Yuri-but-Yuri-is-just-helping-Dizzy-live-out-her-DigiFarm-fantasies Control

Deck Archetype: Burn.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg.
Mandatory Oshis: Dizzy, an afk opponent.
How to play? Through the divine intervention of NordVPN -our lord, savior, master, suntiang-wearing-mandate-of-heaven-wielding hypostasis of financial support- we interrupt this re-broadcast of the BBC's documentary on /pcgia/'s wildlife to bring you the long-awaited sequel to super ego control, now enhanced to silence the entire repertoire of snow leopard vocalizations (with 2 Hostages, 2 Wanderers, 1 Lepr), including prusten – a sound made by members of the Felidae family, Lemoine Affair fanboys and menheras, if they don’t fucking hate your guts, which, is basically never. Silencing the Hyakki Yagyō of Christmas Pasts can help you keep it together until you’re ready to serve your opponent a festive dose of epididymal hypertension (Woe to you, o’er Earth and Sea), courtesy of Chef Dizzy or one of the aforementioned silences. Just remember: those very silences can be more useful targeting opponent's threats or even Anire, should she miraculously avoid getting zoroed the instant she lands on the board; so choose wisely whether to save one of your cubs from (Wuxi) finger holding, or let them join Panko Cat on maternity leave. Finally, Halloween Panko, Beehive, and Dizzymuku are in the mix to provide some extra unpleasant surprises for your opponent, all while trying to catch Dizzy’s attention with their hipster quirkiness. Don’t be afraid to experiment with other solutions.
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Jurassic Ramp

Deck Archetype: Ramp/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: depends.
Mandatory Oshis: Jelly.
How to play? Tired of people vomiting cards on the board? Not me. I'm the one doing it. But if you are, this deck is for you. It absolutely obliterates decks that flood the board by running basically every AoE card. The Ham Cat combo seems to get better every patch due to its ability to deal with sticky and/or mid-sized boards. Maitake Dance and then start spamming AoE and play an Emberjho turn 5 or 6 and vore another one of their puny cards and further neuter the enemy board in the process. And then if they can't deal with your Emberjho you clone it and that's normally game over. The deck is anti-aggro but Kindlings allow it to also have a decent chance against midrange by allowing your AoE to also sweep larger cards along with the smaller ones. It doesn't have enough threats or inevitability to beat bigger or controlly decks, so you'll have to rely on unanswered early Emberjhos or dropping The Rippa + 2x Jelly Is You in a single turn to win.
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Lemon Stealing Control

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Lumi, Jelly, Yuri, Ember. That's a whole harem (both).
How to play? If you believe in metempsychosis, this deck is the reincarnation of Cross Ange. If you don’t, it’s a chaotic decoupage loosely stitched together around the theme of using your opponent's deck against them à la HS rogue. The adhesive holding it together? Time-tested classic card packages that have consistently proven their worth. And glue. Can't forget the glue. With not one but two copies of Lumi and a Jellumi, the core is undeniably slow 'n tardy. To compensate, the rest of the deck is designed to dictate a slow tempo for the game via an arsenal of soft and hard removals, alongside plenty of AoEs benefitting from yap. Ember, Healber, and Nikki provide a solid backbone, while the Yuri package offers the potential for massive board swings, with Yumi (Lumi + Yuri) doubling as a finisher by inducing Ga-Rei Zero PTSD. Thanks to the amount of late-game yap, Alice and Gumi remain relevant well into the match; meanwhile, Jelly is You adds another layer of thievery, synergizing nicely with Kindling + Ember or Nikki. As a deck centered on stealing, your strategy will often depend on what your opponent is playing. This demands a level of flexibility akin to catching airborne sushi mid-fall with your toes and feeding it straight into your partner’s agape mouth while sporting a full Ramlethal Valentine cosplay. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Anyway. In general, the most efficient way to play this deck is to be so high on yap that you directly contribute to Kessler syndrome. The list on the right sacrifices some flavor for win ratio.
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Big Yap Control

Deck Archetype: Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 dmg or 2 healing.
Mandatory Oshis: Erina, Jelly, Lumi, Yuri.
How to play? A fusion of the deck literally above this one and Big Girls Control. One of its main strengths is being able to play Tenmacho liberally and transitioning into FUCKMODE without worrying too much about fatigue (or making The Rippa unplayable) since you have Lumi and Yumi to add a surprisingly significant couple of cards to your deck. As is the norm with Yap-centric decks, your opponent will have a bad time the moment you manage to stick a yapper on the board (which isn't very hard considering how FAT Lumi is for how early she comes down, and how Jellumi and Yumi will usually swing the board in your favor the turn they're played). With Yap active, the deck has a surprising amount of burst (especially if you're a filthy purple power picker) and an honestly hilarious amount of healing after playing Koufukuron that ensures that if your cards aren't immediately removed, they'll probably be back to full HP at the end of your turn.
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Bloons Mill

Deck Archetype: Mill/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: 2 armor.
Mandatory Oshis: Ember, bees & monkeys and yet no jello.
How to play? The Grendel-like, nerd progeny of patch 12.5's most successful control and mill decks, respectively – an ungodly chimera of monkeys, bees and hair removal. There’s really not much to say about this list that hasn’t already been said about its predecessors. You have every kind of control tool at your disposal, so use them wisely and avoid getting baited. If you prison-lock yourself with bees (Where this Jelly Bloons), you are a fool. Baka, Baka. it is also worth remembering that bees aren’t as good as comedic reliefs when it comes to tanking friendly fire. However, they are just as adept at dying for your sins – and significantly better at handling certain types of wide, -def aggros. Again, if you’re into this kind of passive-aggressive control gameplay, it’s safe to assume you find conceptual priming more intimate than sex, and your favorite sport is cackling at your watch as it ticks down the number of cards in your opponent’s deck. As such, your only hope of reproducing involves being raped by an exasperated aggro player while you’re lost in masturbatory musings about the solitude of prime numbers, which might be taken as you implying that your sad self and your putative love interest are abstract entities or something along those lines.
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Exodia Rush

Deck Archetype: Combo/Control.
Suggested Oshi Power: Usually 2 armor, 2 dmg against armor power.
Mandatory Oshis: Airi, Ember, Panko, Rie, Shiina.
How to play? An extreme version of Macho Exodia Combo that aims to drop stealthed Exodia on the board as soon as possible. You want to hard mulligan for a Ringodachi and Tenmacho. The moment you've drawn a Ringodachi you play Tenmacho to discard basically everything in your deck that isn't an Exodia piece or your finisher, Hime Cube, putting your opponent on a 5 turn (or lower) clock. This deck does very well against afk opponents and has a terrible time against any sort of pressure. As a side note by having all 5 Exodia oshis you can play it with only 4 pieces in hand if you're about to lose, had 1 piece milled or somehow still have Bread in your hand.
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Decks: Archive

Here lie decks of no fortune, and with a name to come. A memorial to love given, and love taken: character limit might have taken them out of our sight, but the losses they inflicted survive in the form of hyperlinks and rectal reconstructions. To reiterate, this section is as useful as the main guide's gallery.

• patch 12
• Patch 11
• Patch 10
• Patch 9

Acknowledgements

If these decks cannot carry you, you should probably l2p, or stop playing against terminally-ill, overly competitive no-lifers. Actually, just get good.
Buy Phase coffee: it probably won't help, but you never know how rigged this game is until you try.