The Munchlax sat slumped over in his chair, his vision obscured by a cloth sack placed snugly over his head. Normally he would remove such an article of clothing, but unfortunately his hands were busy being bound to the chair's back as two tiny hands worked quickly to fasten the ropes.
"He's all tied up, Your Highness," said a female voice behind him.
"Good!" Said a slightly deeper female voice from across the room. "Now remove the sack from his head, please."
The Munchlax's eyes adjusted to the light of the room as the sack was removed from his head, the smell of musty carpet and aging wallpaper becoming more apparent. Across the room stood the same scholar cap-clad Blissey from earlier, a smile on her face that only became wider as she noticed that he was making eye contact with her through the thick lenses of her glasses.
"Ah, the one and only Chef Beast Winchester!" The Blissey said, bouncing off of the tips of her toes. "My guards tell me you've been very…uncooperative as of late."
Beast angrily leaned forward as far as his binds would allow. "I will be no cooking slave for a lunatic such as yourself, this whole scheme of yours is ridiculous!"
"Oh, that's the reason I had you brought to me, I won't be needing you!" The egg lady explained.
Beast tilted his head in confusion. "Pardon?"
"You see, while you were out, I took some of your fur as a DNA sample to demonstrate my Plan B for uppity cooks like you." The bespectacled Blissey continued. "CLONES!"
The Blissey tip-toed over to a large covered cylinder and yanked off the sheet concealing its contents, unveiling a large vat of glowing green liquid containing a large figure inside. "BEHOLD, the fruit of my efforts!” The Blissey proudly announced. “This shall be…your REPLACEMENT!"
What Beast saw within the vat could hardly be considered natural life, let alone a genetic mirror of himself. The creature stood nearly three times his height, his chisled jawline as pronounced as his neanderthalic eyebrow ridge which kept his eyes permanently shaded in darkness. His torso was large and bulky but became narrow near the bottom where his feet were obscured by his blue fur like a regular munchlax. His arms were enormous, each rivaling the size of his torso.
Beast somehow found the heart to be offended by this display underneath all the fear and bewilderment he was experiencing. “Good lord, is THAT supposed to be my clone!?” He cried. “It hardly resembles me!”
“W-well, your DNA sample wasn’t the best, so I had to fill in the blanks with some Darmanitan…” The egg lady explained before a gurgling roar caught everyone in the room's attention.
The creature seemed to have woken up inside of his vat of green liquid and was desperately trying to get out of it, beating on the glass walls.
"Oh dear, did I forget to change out the pacification fluid?" The Blissey asked herself before quickly being answered by the monster smashing open his vat, letting out a triumphant roar as the mysterious chemical spilt onto the floor.
The clone's freedom was not well received by anybody in the room, especially the guard standing behind Beast. “HE’S LOOSE!” The guard yelled at the top of her lungs before sprinting on her tiny little feet out of the room at lightning speed, revealing herself to be a Chansey. For creatures that hardly even had ankles, they sure were quick…
Beast, however, was still very much bound to his chair. Hoping the Blissey would have the heart to drag him out of the room, he looked over to her and her swirly-lensed glasses.
“Welp, see ya!” The scientist said as she yanked on the tassel of her scholar cap, causing a propeller to spring out of it, lifting her off the ground and out of the room.
“You idiots, don’t LEAVE ME HERE!” The chef screamed at the now absent eggs. “What even is a DNA-”
Beast stopped talking as a large shadow cast over his tiny form. He slowly looked up at the gigantic mockery of himself towering now over him, awkwardly fidgeting as all of his attention was on Beast due to the chef being the only living thing in the room. As Beast was in no position to get out of the way, He used the only unbound part of his body: his mouth.
“I uh..h-hello there.” The chef stuttered out.
The clone rather impolitely responded to Beast’s gentle words by grabbing his chair and flinging the bound bear out the room’s window, sending him straight through the glass and careening downward hundreds of feet into the darkness below.
Thankfully, luck was on the side of the chef that evening, as his fall was broken by a large river that was polite enough to catch him with an enormous splash. But misfortune quickly followed as the shock of the cold temperature of the river caused Beast to fade into unconsciousness.
Beast was later awoken hours later by the sun prying through his eyelids and the sound of waves crashing nearby. He slowly got up to a sitting position, the chair and rope that kept him bound now nowhere to be found.
The chef was now on a large beach, with nothing but ocean in front of him and jungle behind him. “I thought I heard an ocean!” He said to nobody in particular as he looked at the expanse of water, taking in the fact that he was now in a completely new location.
“My goodness, I must have been out for a while…” He continued to himself as the morning sun assaulted his retinas. “Am I still on the island, even?”
He looked to his side as the sandy shore of the beach laid a path to the answer. Carefully, he got up to his feet, brushing sand off of his apron. “I guess I'll have to follow the beach and find out.”
The chef marched forward as valiantly as his little feet would allow, kicking up the sand as he made his way down the winding beach. He figured that as long as he followed the beach, any civilization would eventually show itself.
“My word, what even happened the night before?” Beast asked the waves as they came onto the shore. “I can hardly recall…”
Beast concentrated, trying to remember what events led up to this moment. That huge fall he took the night before wasn’t treating his mind very well, but he still had a decent recollection…
The morning before was an exciting one. Beast walked off of the boat and onto the island’s dock, his first steps on solid land in a couple of weeks.
“Ah, to finally be off of that wretched boat!” Beast sighed as he dragged his oversized suitcase behind him. The weight of his luggage was quickly getting to him, his short arms and natural waddle not doing him any favors. “Now to find a place for my suitcase…”
Looking around, he saw a Chansey wearing a bellhop cap, enthusiastically greeting other chefs as they walked by. He walked up behind her and spoke to get her attention.
“Er, excuse me?”
“Oh, hello there!” The bellhop beamed as she twirled around on one foot to meet Beast’s gaze. He had heard stories about Chansies and their sickly sweet enthusiasm, but this was his first time directly experiencing it. “Welcome to West Egg Island, sir! Do you need any help?”
“I uh, well, was just wondering where the event was being held…” Beast inquired.
“Well, it’s right down the road, silly!” The Chansey explained as she pointed down the road to a large stone staircase. “Just head up those stairs and enter the big hotel up ahead, you can’t miss it. Our queen is very excited to meet you all there…”
“I uh, thank you...” Beast muttered as he quickly trotted forward, not looking back at the strange bellhop as she waved him off.
“Have a nice day, sir!” The Chansey called out to him.
“Er, you as well…” Beast called back out of social obligation.
Beast struggled to drag his suitcase up the stairs, his feet hardly reaching each step. “Quite the peculiar natives here, it seems.” The chef muttered to himself as he struggled with his luggage. Finally, he made it to the top, continuing down the path. “I can only pray that the ‘hotel’ she mentioned is somewhere adjacent to acceptab-”
Beast’s words were stopped by his own surprise, his eyes going skywards as the hotel came into view, towering over him unlike any building he had ever seen before. The hotel stood so tall it seemed almost comical, the front lined with so many windows he couldn’t even bother to count. Eventually, he found his voice again, but he could only muster two words:
“My goodness!”
His lips quivered as he walked through front area, which was just as lavish looking as the hotel itself. “They even have a fountain…” He said as he passed by the stone fixture, entering the lobby through the double doors.
The inside was just as lavish as the outside. The high-quality furniture and elegant patterns carved into the walls invoked an atmosphere Beast hadn’t experienced in what felt like ages. Still, he firmly believed that this was the treatment he had always deserved for his talents.
Still, his mission to find a place to put down his suitcase was fresh on his mind. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before his eyes met with an improvised suitcase drop-off area. He sighed with relief and pushed his suitcase into a neat position among the pile before he heard a familiar arrogant voice behind him.
“Oh, are they just letting anyone in here now~?”
It took Spinda’s voice for Beast to remember that his vacation was going too perfectly, and something had to come along and ruin it. He whirled around to meet her spiral eyes, her cocky expression reminding Beast that she never took him seriously.
“YOU!”
“You look surprised to see me, Beastie boy.” The panda replied, balancing on one foot.
“When did you get here? I didn’t see you board any of the boats like the rest of us!” Beast inquired.
“Well, I rented a private boat, just like any respectable chef here did…” Spinda explained before leaning in close to his face. “...That means not you.”
“Oh please, you’re hardly a chef. All you do is open trendy little coffee shops.” Beast retorted, turning his head away from his rival and giving her a dismissive wave.
“Ooh, awful convenient thatcha left out how much money I make…” Spinda mentioned, Beast’s fists clenching in anger for a split second.
“Or how I graduated from the same academy as you…”
Beast’s blood began to boil as Spinda continued.
“At the same time…in the same class…”
His teeth began to bare themselves in silent rage, and he had to turn his head away so she wouldn’t see.
“With the same grade-”
“CAN IT, COFFEEMAKER!” Beast finally yelled, his anger getting the best of him.
The surrounding area went silent after Beast yelled before quickly returning to its regular bustle.
“You’re so unbelievably petty sometimes.” The chef continued as he reprimanded his former rival. “I bet you came here just to spoil my vacation!”
“It’s not a vacation, Beastie Boy. It’s a cookoff. I was invited, just like everyone else!” Spinda explained as she turned away from the bear. “...And as such, I plan to make sure you never leave round one~”
Beast couldn’t resist falling right for Spinda’s taunts. “Now, you listen to me, you spotted simpleton,” Beast demanded with a venomous voice, stepping towards her as she remained turned away from him. “I don’t care what you’ve done, I still hardly consider you my rival!”
“Oh yeah?” Spinda inquired, giving him a swirly sidelong glance.
“Mark my words, Spinda. You will only be leaving this tournament with-”
“HELLO, FELLOW CHEFS!”
A shrill voice caught both Beast and Spinda’s attention. They turned to the voice, revealed to belong to a Beheeyem wearing a toque and sporting a suspiciously cheap-looking mustache. They both looked at the Beeheyem with blank expressions until he spoke again.
“MY NAME IS CHEF LU’GLEAUX, A NEW CHEF ON THE SCENE! HOW ARE YOU?”
Beast and Spinda continued not to respond.
“CHANSEY EGGS ARE SUCH A RARE DELICACY, YES? I AM SO EXCITED TO-”
“Can we help you?” Spinda asked, breaking her silence.
“THAT BELLHOP SAID THAT WE’RE ALL GATHERING IN THE MAIN BALLROOM.” The suspicious chef explained, pointing to a doorway other chefs were filing into. “I THOUGHT YOU TWO SHOULD KNOW.”
“Ah, gotcha,” Spinda said, nodding at the Beheeyem and walking away. “I’ll see you later, Beastie Boy~!”
“I’ll see you in hell,” Beast replied, giving her one last dismissive wave.
The ballroom was almost full by the time Beast was able to enter, the view being a sea of toques and aprons. A large stage was visible from across the room, and Beast carefully weaved between people to try and get a better view of it before whoever came onstage. About halfway through his journey across the room, the lights shut off, and a spotlight shined onto the back wall.
Over the crowd flew a Blissey dressed in thick spectacles and a scholar cap adorned with a propeller, making Beast wonder how she remained attached to the cap as she hovered. She eventually landed on the stage, grabbing a microphone and addressing the crowd.
“Greetings, chefs of the world!” The Blissey announced. “My name is Doctor Melissa S. Blissey, but I would prefer you to call me Miss Bliss. I’m sure you’re all honored to be here, considering you’re the only outsiders we’ve let onto West Egg Island in nearly 100 years!”
Beast had indeed heard of West Egg Island once or twice in his life, but all he or anyone really knew about it was populated exclusively by Chansey like some sort of all-lady utopia.
“But as this island's beloved queen, I figured it would finally be time to change that! And what better way to connect with the outside world than to share our delicious eggs!”
Beast nodded along with several other chefs in the crowd.
“But then I figured…why stop there?” Miss Bliss continued. “Why not lure and trap the greatest chefs in the world on my island so my people can have access to world-class food whenever they’d like?”
The scientist then brandished a rectangular device and pressed a large red button on the front of it. Hatches from the ceiling opened, unleashing large cages onto the crowds below, Beast included. Before he knew it, their cages were ascending into the building.
“We hope you enjoy your stay!” teased the scientist from below. “Muahahahaha…”
Beast’s vacation was just getting worse by the second, and so seemed to be his current life situation. The only good part about this whole scenario was that he and Spinda weren’t sharing a cage, but this didn’t prevent his new cagemates from also being very annoying.
“Oh lord, what’s gonna happen to us!?” One chef asked with a disregard for indoor voices.
“I’M TOO PRETTY TO COOK AGAINST MY WILL!” wailed another.
Things were moving fast, forcing Beast to think even faster. He wasn’t accustomed to springing into action, but he knew if he didn’t do anything nobody else probably would.
“Pipe down, the both of you!” Beast demanded before looking down through the bars to the floor below. The cages were brought up from their attached chains and were now dangling high above the floor in some unlit holding room high up within the hotel. The floor looked about 10-15 feet below…
“Worry not, I have a plan to get out of this cage,” Beast explained before reaching into the deep recesses of his fur and retrieving a double-pronged kabob skewer. “Behold!”
“You keep a skewer in your fur?” Asked one confused cook.
“A true chef is prepared for any kitchen disaster.” Beast declared before reaching through the bars to the cage door’s keyhole to pick the lock. He was certainly no lock picker, but he had read enough books about private detectives in his spare time to have a general idea of what to do.
After jamming the skewer into the keyhole at various angles, the pins eventually aligned and the cage door swung open, giving Beast freedom to plunge into the darkness below. He wasn’t crazy about jumping down that far, but he knew that he didn’t have much of a choice.
“I’ll try to come back with help,” Beast told his cagemates before leaping out of the cage. Thankfully, his naturally bulky build allowed him to land on his feet without as much as a sprained ankle, albeit it felt awful close.
“E-easy enough...” Beast muttered as he dusted himself off, looking around what he could see of the room, which was suspiciously empty. “How odd, I thought there would be guards here…”
Beast’s observation was met with the unwelcome feeling of a baton colliding with his cranium, sending him right back onto the floor with a fading grip on his consciousness. Before dozing off, he could hear two guards talking.
“What do we do with this fella?” One guard said to the other.
“Let’s take ‘em to Miss Bliss, she’ll have a good idea…” The other guard responded.
That was all Beast could remember up to that point. He had been walking down this beach for the good part of an hour, and it would be quite difficult of a task to save everyone if he didn’t know where he or anyone was. Thankfully, his perseverance was rewarded as a seaside village came into view as he came around a curve.
“...It’s a start.”
Miss Bliss sat at her chemistry desk, looking over her flasks she measured out just the right amount of chemicals to put in her current mixture.
“Damn pacification fluid…” She muttered to herself.
“Uhm, Miss Bliss?” said a voice from behind that she wasn’t executing.
“EEP!” The scientist squeaked before whirling around to meet the eyes of the two guards standing behind her. “Y-yes sweetie, what is it?”
“Some of our units caught an escapee in town, what should we do with them?” The guard inquired.
“Uh, just take them back up here to the Royal Resort tonight, I’ll deal with them then.” Miss Bliss answered.
“We’ll see to it, your highness.” The Chansey said with a nod before leaving with the other guard.
“Alright, I’ll see you two later. Keep me updated!” Miss Bliss said with a goodbye wave.
“Gee, Isn’t Miss Bliss so nice?” Said one guard to the other as they turned the corner down the hall.
“I know! She’s so approachable…” The other Chansey replied.
Next chapter: (definitely didnt copy paste this from learning to fly bwahahaha) https://rentry.org/v4f32crv