Disclaimer :: Hi anyone who isn't Cassiel (++ Cassiel (hi darling I love you!!)), this rentry is dedicated solely to me writing love letters for my husband and rambles about him because I'm. Majorly in love with him. Head over heels. So I'm pouring out my love for him here! Isn't that so cool of me?! So uh anyway. Yeah! If you're not him and you just came across this or were linked here from my link directory then. I guess you're welcome to stay...? But be warned I'm probably going to be. Super cringy and sappy in here so. This is a warning to both readers of this && Cassiel because. I truly and sincerely apologize that you're dating someone who makes an entire rentry dedicated to ranting about his love for you. I don't know if you'll find this endearing or weird and cringe and will want to break up by the end of it but. Long story short I love you!! A lot!!
Anyway um. On with the faggotry you're here to see I suppose!!
12.06.24 
Hi Cassiel I finally had motivation to make this are you proud of me..
Okay genuine question now. How are you so perfect..?! It's mind blowing to me. I genuinely cannot wrap my head around how someone like you is dating someone like me. I never thought you'd love me back and now here we are?! Almost a month.. (12-ish days until our anniversary at the time of writing this!!) Fun fact 24 is now my favorite number. It reminds me of us!! Everything reminds me of us if I try hard enough. Any time I see a ship I love or a ship that I see us in I think to myself "Wow!! They're so me and Cassiel!!" (Nikozai.. Fyolai.. Soukoku.. Mizurui..)
I've never had anyone understand me the way you do, and it makes me so happy thinking about how well you know me! You automatically pick up on little things, like if my typing style is a little off or if I seem more distant than usual.. You somehow always know whenever I'm feeling down and you also know just how to cheer me up again! Just receiving an ask from you on Retrospring is enough to make my day 100x better.. I love you so much!!
13.06.24 
Sometimes I think maybe you're losing interest in me or vice versa and then I remember. That's probably just my mental illness and self loathing talking and telling me that I don't deserve you or a relationship in general. Then I take my meds and all is well with the world. /silly
Seriously though. You give me a genuine reason to try and you make me feel like I'm worth something and you give me an actual reason to live. And that's. A lot coming from me. I hope you know how much you mean to me.. That's the main point of this rentry, so that I can write in it every day and show how much you mean to me and how much I love you!
19.06.24 
I haven't made any entries in here in a while but in my defense, I did make two joint rentries. But I've been talking about you nonstop. I'll literally go into the ranting/positive vent channel of at least one the servers I'm active in on Discord and rant about you daily. So much so that one of my friends has gotten tired of it. But! In one server I'm in, the co-owner and I bonded over our. Love for our partners. LMAO.. We would go back and forth rambling about things we love about our partners until Wisteria came in and basically told us to stop. :(
[TW for below:: Suicide + Self Harm (POSITIVE!)]
Hi I'm back again today. I was just thinking about how you've affected me positively.. I've genuinely thought about suicide less, I've promised myself I wouldn't relapse for your sake [didn't quite work how I wanted it to, but I'm still trying..], and I've genuinely been taking care of myself more. I've been eating more, I haven't skipped a meal in a while.. I genuinely cannot thank you enough. You're the reason I'm trying to get better, you're my motivation to become a better person, and improve on my mental health. I don't know where I'd be without you.
27.07.24 
It's been over a month since my last entry.. But I'm BACK!!! I'm thinking of making this actually pretty.. Soukoku theme perhaps.. WAHAHAHA!! Anyway. I'm currently very, very sad, because the owner of /soukoku won't even take $150, two Discord profile decorations, a complex rentry, a google slides presentation about soukoku, AND my literal SOUL for it. Very disappointing, my heart is broken. I can silently hope they abandon the url for over two years though. Someday, rentry.co/soukoku will be mine. Anyway I'm yapping this is supposed to be about you?!! You should. Totally come online. Then my sadness will be cured! Did you know that you're literally the Chuuya to my Dazai. Wyd when I think about ways to kill you every day for 7 years. Wyd when I have several notebooks dedicated to you. Wyd when I cup your cheek and gaze into your eyes longingly when I could've just poked you to nullify your ability and therefore save you from dying. Wyd when literal God says we're soulmates. OHHHH YOU'RE ONLINE NOW YAY.
06.08.24
I LIED!!! I finally got around to retheming and I settled on a ruikasa theme.. Heh! I really need to use this more. I keep using my thread in amiko and then I remember WAIT you can't check that!! But I ramble there a lot. It started from the truth or dare bot I think.
I think the 💌 status in my key thing is pretty useless. Because it's constantly there. It's kind of permanent. I talk about you 24/7. I think about you 24/7 too.. I check bluesky compulsively to see if you've messaged me at all. I just got a DM from Acht and I got excited because I thought it was you. Acht is a great friend but I can't say that I wasn't disappointed when I saw it wasn't you who messaged me..
The fact that this has almost 600 views is crazy. Why do people like this stuff. Please it's just me being a total sap.
07.08.24
A lot of times I think back on my exes and think "Wow they're horrible compared to Cassiel". Because you wouldn't badger me about having sex. You wouldn't send me pictures of you in lingerie..?? Maybe that's just because you're. Like. Normal compared to the freak I'm thinking about but. It makes me appreciate you and your kindness more.
It's nice knowing that you love me for me, not my body or anything. It's a really nice feeling. It makes me feel appreciated and cared for.
I really can't explain how much I love you, you mean everything to me ♡
20.08.24
Ok you're so right. Guilt does catch up to you. It's been eating me alive I feel so bad for not like. DMing you as soon as I relapsed and crying and apologizing profusely. Please forgive me I let the voices win this time.
30.08.24
I feel bad that I haven't been writing entries in here... And that I never made us an anniversary gift! I promise I have it all done but I LOST the edit codes... I'm so sad. They were cute urls. And I already made the graphics with the url names toooooo!! Hmm.. Maybe I'll make a Soukoku rentry soon.. I did recently request a url that would work for that!
06.09.24
I'm back here because I miss you a lot but I don't want to spam your DMs while you're offline because that would be annoying... Anyway. You know that url I requested? It was accepted! I worked on the graphic but I don't really like it. It's okay though. I have so many ideas right now I'm about to burst. I love hyperfixating on ships because it gives me a bunch of motivation to make rentries for us based on that ship. I'm hyperfixated on Kunizai and Mizumafu right now. They're both literally us. Thinking about you gives me motivation too. Because I'll be putting something off like say. Cleaning my room. But then I'll think, "Well, if Cassie and I lived near each other, I would want him to be able to come over. But my room is a mess! Hy would hate it in here!!". So that motivates me to clean even though you'll probably never step foot in my house. Thank God I never want you to have to meet my horrible parents. Stay far away from them you don't deserve to have that kind of negativity in your life.
08.09.24
Hi this is gonna be a bit negative I'm sorry. Also I guess TW for implied SA for whoever needs it.
I truly believe you deserve better than me... You're so wonderful and perfect and amazing and I'm. Not. I'm tainted. I think you deserve a partner that's clean. But that's not me. I feel so dirty, and no one should love someone like that. Especially not someone as perfect as you. That's so unfair to you. I think you deserve someone perfect and wonderful and lovely, just like you. But I'm the exact opposite..! I'm tainted and broken and gross.
I'm really sorry... I don't know what I'm apologizing for. Maybe because I'm not the partner you deserve, maybe because I feel guilty for letting all this happen to me. Maybe both. Maybe I'm just apologizing for being unloveable. But whatever the reason, I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like me. At the same time... I'm grateful you love me nonetheless. You're willing to look past all these flaws...
29.09.24
I'm really tired right now. I know I said goodnight and told you I would sleep but I stayed up for an extra 5-10 minutes to gush about how you called me your little dove.
Aughhh how are you so perfect. All my life I've wanted to be loved tenderly like this and now I finally have that.. It's nice. You make me feel really happy and warm. Whenever I'm having a bad day I'll think about you and feel happier. You just have that effect on me..
Sometimes I wanna. Like. Study you. Under a microscope. You're so interesting I love you.
++　Hi again I just read through your last entry.. I could never hate you I promise. I was talking to my friend about you (surprise surprise...) and she mentioned how healthy a relationship we have and I thought on it and I realized. Nothing you've done has ever even really mildly annoyed me let alone made me genuinely upset. And I get upset easily you know? But with you, you're so kind to me and you never treat me poorly.. I promise that if I'm ever uncomfortable with something I'll let you know, okay? ♡