temporary content yadda yadda im remaking my alek urls thank yew read /dawidowski or check out my directory

happy 7 year anniversary to me and alek 2,565 days and counting ᣟ❤︎˳

001.⠀⠀why aleksy?
soemthing about him caught my attention right away after i saw him on the cover of kamienie na szaniec back in 2019. the first time i actually looked him up was in the school bathroom! i wanted to know which one of the three was rudy, and which one was alek (sorry zoska) well, the more i read about him, the deeper i fell in love with him obviously. i admire his actions, his dedication, the way he stayed cheerful and optimistic even in hard times. that admiration quickly turned into emotional attachment! learning about things he struggled with just made me love him more.

its literally like you would have fallen in love with someone you met. you see them, you think theyre cute, you learn more about them and youre in love! its that simple. overtime, my feelings grew much stronger. i seriously cannot put my love for him into words. i genuinely have never loved anyone as much as i love him, and my feelings for him will never go away! yes im parasocial and yes im delusional! me and alek are soulmates and were meant to be together thanks!

002.⠀⠀is rpf disrespectful to the real person?
it can be, but personally, my relationship with alek is as respectful as it can get. i feel like i have to make this clear, as im sure our relationship raises questions.. i do not romanticize war, violence, or his suffering, and i treat his real life and history with respect!

i also respect his real relationships a lot. fyi i dont feel jealousy toward his girlfriend at the time, because i am in no place to be mad about her, when i didnt even exist back then. besides, she loved him deeply, yes, but after his death she went on to live her life, get married, and have children with someone else. because of that, theres no competition or resentment in the way i feel.

i think she was an amazing person anyway and i resonate with her in multiple different things. i am literally the male version of her

regarding the kamienie na szaniec community: i do not support roleplay accounts, shipping between real historical figures, or ai edits involving them at all. these are real people and i believe they deserve dignity. while rumors about zoska's and rudy's sexualities and relationship have been around since the 1940s i dont think they should be sensationalized! the book is not about them being gay so please keep your fetish to yourself. i hate roska it gets to a point bro shut up

as for celebrity rpf in general, i believe its totally okay when it remains non-invasive and private, without bothering or crossing boundaries with the person involved!

003.⠀⠀is it parasocial?
yes, but parasocial ≠ bad. it becomes unhealthy only if it replaces real life relationships, causes you distress, affects your daily life and makes you feel dependent.

004.⠀⠀is this delusional?
in most cases, no. unless you genuinely believe its real. if you know its fantasy then its just healthy escapism

but in my case it is delusional because of my mental health problems which i wont get into here 😅

005.⠀⠀how is this any different from a celebrity crush?
its not that different. rpf yumeships just go deeper: self-inserts, emotional bonds, and most of the time its comfort based. a crush would be fun, exciting or aesthetic, while people use rpf to cope with stress, feel loved or comforted.

006.⠀⠀why do people hate rpf yumes?
parasocial relationships make people uneasy because they include real people. they worry about objectification, disrespect, boundary crossing, consent.. you get it. its fair, but they often assume all rpf yumes cross the line, when most of them just stay in their rooms and daydream without actually hurting anyone

007.⠀⠀what do rpf yumes usually do?
its not that different from normal yumes. drawing, tropes, playlists, pinboards, edits, daydreaming, and so on

008.⠀⠀is it okay if it makes me feel better?
yes! thats literally the point. if it helps you feel comforted, less lonely, safe etc... then its serving its purpose.

009.⠀⠀whats the difference between selfshipping and yumeshipping?
there is none. its quite literally the same thing, but yumeshipping comes from japanese fan culture. personally, i fluctuate between using both terms. no, i didnt start saying yumeshipping because i think japanese words are cute. ive been at this since 2014, thanks.

but i do think selfshipping makes more sense in rpf context, as the word yume translates to dream

010.⠀⠀additionally, i dont care what anyone thinks of my relationship with aleksy. even if selfshipping with real people was bad, i wouldnt care cause im a bad person nevertheless. and while i love all historical yumes, i do not support nazi officials yumeshippers oh my god if i see one more josef mengele yumeshipper i will actually hang myself. it doesnt matter whether theyre actually nazis or not, theyre still bad people and i cant see how they could possibly fall in love with someone as evil as goebbels or as i said, mengele.

anyways, i dont use these terms outside of rentry. i just see alek as my real life boyfriend, so why would i call myself his yume? i also do not read nor write rpf. but you guys have all my support and i love you!

as to why i have mixed feelings about historical rpf in particular: i think rpf about public figures who have already functioned in society during their lifetime and were accustomed to being on the side of public opinion (like napoleon, for an example) is totally fine. but rpf about again, rudy and zoska on the other hand, is not okay. they did not build their image, they did not have the chance to decide how they want to be perceived! they did not choose to be famous.

and the reason as for why my relationship with alek doesnt cross those boundaries.. if i was born back then, (or if he was born in these times) i would have fallen in love with him regardless! im in love with him, not the idealized picture of him, but him as a person! i hope this clears things up thank you everyone for reading xoxo