Voicemails
by ZoneTheory twt | dsc | fics
“Hey, uh, IRyS. It’s been about two days since you’ve been gone. I’m doing alright I think. Council is here with me most of the time, I snuck away for a minute to record this message, because I needed to talk to you.
Fuck, I don’t even know what to say, we talked about this a lot, you and I. That one day you’d be gone. I lied to you, I told you I’d be okay, I told you I’d manage without you but… (sniff) it’s been hard. I want you to come back… please…
This is stupid, I know it is, you can’t hear me anymore. I just thought that maybe once in a while we could spend some time together like this, just the two of us. Nevermind, shit, I should go. The others are gonna get worried. I love you.”
“Hi IRyS, I thought you might want to know what’s been going on. It’s been three weeks and I’ve actually been doing better. I actually laughed today, that’s why I’m calling, I managed to laugh. Kronii made a really dark off-hand joke about you and everyone else was horrified, but I thought it was hilarious. It… honestly felt good to laugh again, but… scary too. I’m getting used to it, being without you.
I wake up and our bed (cough), shit sorry, my bed… it’s just me. And… I don’t panic, at first I was panicking a lot, night terrors, and those still happen, but it’s less frequent. I’m getting used to living without you, and for some reason you’re the only person I can admit that to.
I’m going to hang out with Calli tomorrow. I think she’s gonna get me drunk and then I’m going to ugly sob on the bar top. I know that’s going to happen, she knows that’s going to happen, neither of us will admit that, we’re both going to say we’re going to try to have fun for the night. All a delicate performance, her trying to save my feelings, and me, the one who is hurting, having to try and save her feelings.
Sorry for talking your ear off, I’m going to go. I love you.”
(crying)
“IRyS… IRyS please answer the phone… I miss you… please…”
“Uh, hey, I’m really hungover right now, but I think I called you while drunk last night, um sorry about that. You know I try not to show you me when I’m like that.
Calli and I talked for awhile, I cried for awhile, she may have cried as well.
I don’t really have anything to tell you. I just miss you still, and love you lots. Bye.”
“Hey IRyS, this is hard to say, but it’s been 6 months since I’ve called. I actually tried not to for a while. I threw myself into my work like Calli suggested that time at the bar, a good distraction.
Anyway, uh, my reason for calling. So, okay, Fauna and I were sitting at the table, just shootin’ the shit, venting as usual. And… I guess trying to comfort me she reached out and grabbed my hand… and I… recoiled, I pulled back like I had touched a hot stove.
It was embarrassing and she looked hurt. I know you always told me to move on after you were gone, but… how do I let you go? I can’t even let someone touch my hand.
I should apologise to her. I’m going to do that right now actually. If I say it out loud to you, then someone else knows, and if I don’t do it there will be repercussions. You are my accountability in this.
Alright, thanks for listening to me ramble. I love you. Bye!”
“Hey IRyS! It’s uh, it’s our anniversary, so I thought I should probably call. I wanted to tell you about what’s been going on around here! Alright, get ready for this one, because you will never believe it! Mumei and Fauna got together! I was really surprised when they told us, but I guess I just don’t pay good attention, I kinda bought into the Mumei/Kronii hype, but apparently that was never a thing? I dunno.
Anyway, uh what else is happening… Sana came to visit me! We did some star gazing for awhile and she let me blow up a star– and before you think to lecture me, we put it back afterwards. It felt nice to just blow off some steam, ya know?
I got you a gift by the way… it’s a necklace, it’s got crystals on it, I know you would’ve loved it. It matches our rings. I still wear the ring by the way. I even remember the day you left, you said to me “Take that thing off or you’ll never find anyone else!” Heh, yeah I guess you’re right, can’t exactly be a ladies magnet when you’re wearing a wedding ring.
I’m not going to take it off. It’s all I really have left of us. “Move on!” You’d yell at me, and I’d nod, say I would, say I’d find someone even cuter than you, and then you’d get all pouty at that and we’d cuddle. Fuck I miss you. Sorry, yeah, uh, where was I… moving on… right, so basically, I’m not going to do that. I’m going to hang out, hold onto the hope that you might return someday.
I just gotta have some hope right? Alright, happy anniversary. I’ll talk to you later, love you.”
“I… haven’t called for a while, have I? It’s our anniversary again. I actually forgot. I hate to admit it, I got the notification on my phone this morning.
I didn’t get you anything this year, you might have guessed that, because I forgot and all. Would you be happy that I forgot? It’s one step closer to moving on, I suppose. Still not doing that, by the way.
I suppose I should catch you up on what’s going on. Mumei and Fauna are going through some troubles, Mumei wants to get married, but Fauna just doesn’t see the point of binding herself to a single person for eternity, she likens their relationship to shifting seasons. I’ve been keeping my distance, you and I went through our fair share of fights, and I’m sure they’d make me mediate it.
Kronii and Sana secretly took bets on if their relationship would last, which is kinda cruel but hilarious at the same time. Kronii thinks they’re gonna split any day now, Sana thinks they’ll make it work. I’m not gonna take sides.
That’s really all that’s going on. Calli and the rest of Myth are doing alright, by the way.
(faint knocking in the background)
Oh! Someone’s here, I guess I’ll go. Talk to you later, alright? I love you.”
“Ehem. Hey, uh, IRyS. This is a hard call to make. Hard one to talk about. It’s been… 5 years? I think, yeah, 5 years since you’ve gone. A lot has happened.
Do you remember me talking to you about Mumei and Fauna? That was so long ago man, I hardly remember it myself. Anyway, yeah, forget about that, didn’t end up working out.
Oh, Mumeishi, where do I begin with you? We… me and Mumei, we got close. Not as close as you and I, but I think there was something there. She came to me after breaking up with Fauna, I helped comfort her, cheered her up. We talked a lot about our lost loves.
I guess that’s how it started, I didn’t pull away when she touched me, I only flinched this time.
Things… escalated a bit, we moved in together, we just enjoyed each other's company. I guess over all these years of living together her emotions changed towards me, to be romantic. I think I may have felt the same for her.
It was a comfortable night we had, sitting together on the couch, watching a movie. She turned towards me, and she kissed me.
Fuck, IRyS. I wish I could tell you something good, that I finally moved on and found someone. But, I won’t lie to you, I pushed her away, physically, and I cried, I curled into a ball and cried and screamed and screamed at her to leave. And she did. And so did I.
That was a few months ago. I haven’t talked to her since. I think she’s gone to Kronii now. I guess that’s what she does, just bounces between us trying to find someone that can comfort her until we end up hurting her.
I’m not going to try again. I don’t want to hurt anyone else.
Sorry I couldn’t tell you anything good this time around. I still love you. Bye.”
“Hey IRyS… It’s been a long time. Too long perhaps. I’m doing good, decided I needed to do something with myself, between the duties of being the manifestation of chaos and all that, you know? So I decided to open a coffee shop! I know, what a surprise for me! We’ve been running for about 8 years now! I’m really happy with how things are going, it’s just… I wish you were here with me. I guess you kinda were, that’s why I’m callin’.
One of your songs came on the radio in the shop, it’s been awhile since I’ve heard your voice, I… avoided it. Last time I heard you was the day you left… What was it, 15 years ago?
It was funny, someone in the shop commented on how old the song was. I think I just about broke him in half, I’m not even sure why, but I’m better than that, I held it together.
Anyway, that’s me, Mumei and Kronii got married, I always thought those two would end up together. Their wedding was really cute.
I think I’ve probably talked to you about various drama’s we’ve had. I should probably let you know that all of that is behind us now, as immortal deities personifying concepts of the universe it’s best not to hold grudges. We’re closer now than we’ve ever been.
Sana wants to get a big mansion and have us all live together, I think it might be fun.
Sorry I don’t call ever, life stuff ya know? Anyway, I’m gonna go now. Love you.”
(distant)
“…yeah, I think that’s all good. Stove can probably go there, the fridge over there.
(...)
I told you, I want to have an open concept kitchen so we can entertain guests!
(...)
Sana, if you get an observatory, I can get a goddamn open concept kitchen!
(...)
(snort) Man, that girl… wait did I butt dial someone?
Oh… Sorry IRyS, didn’t mean to call.”
“(sigh) Nothing good lasts, you know?
I don’t even know why the fuck I’m calling. Why do I still do this? Torture myself by trying to speak to you, every time praying that you fucking answer.
I hate this shit. All of it, I hate myself, I hate the council, I hate the world, I hate y–
(sob)
I-I’m sorry. Things aren’t good right now. I-I have to go, sorry for calling.”
“IRyS, it’s really bad. Mumei is missing.
We, all of us, tried to fix things here, but the world is going to shit. Those stupid fucking humans can’t keep to themselves, they just kept taking more and more, now Fauna is barely herself, they pushed her so hard, took so much from her.
And Mumei… She's like a reflection of them, we’ve always known about her two sides, but IRyS, our Mumei is gone, we tried to pull her and the rest of them back, but it’s too late now. They are going to destroy themselves. She ran off a while ago, I guess to join them in the slaughter.
Kronii won’t speak to me anymore. She’s hurting too much. Sana is… she’s too sweet, too pure for this, she’s kinda just faded into the background, Earth is just one planet, right?
I– (sob) I could use a little hope right now, how about it IRyS? The world is ending… not a lot of hope to go around here. We could really use your help…
No… (sob) I don’t give a fuck about them, any of them, damn them all to hell, let them all burn. The humans, the council, fuck it. IRyS, I need you!
(crying) I need you…
So why… why aren’t you here… don’t you love me…
I love… (sob)
I…
What’s even the point?”
“Mumei’s gone. Fauna’s gone. Thought you might want to know.
The humans tore each other apart.
The Earth is a scorched wasteland.
I thought I might have a bit of company after it all, but not even Kiara or Calli are here anymore. It’s just the three of us on the council left, presiding over nothing.
Space is space, Sana makes sure her special rock collection is well taken care of or whatever the fuck her job is.
Kronii sits around doing fuck all because that’s all her job is. You know, I asked her to rewind time, several times, to let us bring back Mumei, Fauna… even you. I begged her for hours to let me go back to you, to bring you back to us. She’s refused every time. Something about continuity and rules of nature and some bullshit. I hate her.
And me… I’m here, I’m always going to be here. Just waiting for you.
That’s all, bye.”
“I think… it’s all over. The heat death of the universe, as the humans called it. Sana is gone, obviously.
Kronii is as well… that surprised me. I thought maybe my infinite misery might have some company, but it turns out time eventually runs out once all matter and energy is gone from the universe.
So, it’s just me.
Here.
Forever.
Alone.
All these times I’ve called you, have been because something’s happened, or something is going on… But… The universe has stopped.
I don’t know if I’ll ever call again. What will I say? What will change? Nothing.
I’ve said everything there is to say.”
“I- I- IR- IRyS…? H- Hey… IRyS… IRyS… (cough) Excuse me… I haven’t talked… since…
It’s weird without time. It’s been none and infinite amounts of it since I’ve called. I think I said I wouldn’t call again.
I’m a bad liar.
There are some things I still haven’t said, so I’m going to do that now.
I don’t remember you. I remember of you, I remember that there’s a reason why your name sits at the edge of my lips, and pulls on my heart, you’re the reason I keep this ring on my finger.
But you… what you look like… what you sound like… who you are… those memories left me a long time ago.
All I know is that I’m waiting for you. Because I promised that I would.
I don’t know why I promised that, I don’t know if I can keep that promise anymore.
I might go… I’m not sure.
I might also stick around for a while.
Wait for you to come back.
For just a little while longer.
That’s all I have to say. See you IRyS. I love you.”
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