Trustworthy Proposal

Bots and TRASH

Very basic Rentry page for bot links, upcoming bots, schizoposts and film recommendations.

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Bots!(Sorted By Latest)

Film Recommendations!

Sorted by recommendation date!(old to new)

1. The Ring (2002 American Remake) (Cozy)
2. The Man Who Stole The Sun (1979)
3. A Scene At The Sea (1991) (Most underrated Beat Takeshi moopie)
4. Brother (1997) (The Russian film)
5. The Wailing (2016) (One of the best horror films ever made, I stand by that)
6. 964 Pinocchio (1991)
7. Winter's Flower(Fuyu No Hana) (1978) (one of my favorite underrated Yakuza films.)
8. The House That Jack Built (2018) (Lars Von Trier's best film.)
9. I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House (2016) (Horror film where nothing happens whatsoever, I love it a lot though, very cozy, very niche)
10. Cure (1997)(By Kiyoshi Kurosawa)(Absolute KINO, also has one of my favorite scenes in any film ever, it's the scene where he comes back home and finds his wife, you'll know it when you see it)
11. Noroi, The Curse (2005)(My favorite found footage style horror film, highly recommended)
12. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)(My favorite Werner Herzog film and the best vampire film ever made, very highly recommended)
13. Phantom of the Paradise (1974)(Very fun, I think it's fit to end the Halloween recs on a light note, fun, well directed, carried by Paul Williams, very good music man, very highly recommended too)
14. Army of Darkness (1992)(Can't believe I forgot to this, absolute cinema, best Evil Dead movie, best Sam Raimi movie, fuck, might be the best movie ever! It's really fun and goofy, ultra highly recommended!)
15. Watch whatever film you'd like to.

Reading List!

Books and whatnot.

Bots in the works!

Stuff I'm working on! (Rentry exclusive WOW) (All of these bots may or may not release within my lifetime.)

BONUS SPECIAL CONTENT!

As a thank you for visiting, more clutter removed

Schizo notes!

Random notes on my botmakie-ing in particular, pointless nonsense, talking to the walls.

(Jan/21/2025) I've been trying to find some fitting words to say, but I really can't. Rest easy, Mr. Lynch.

(Jan/09/2025) Feeling a bit bored, so, I'll write another schizo note, and add Zero to the bot list as well. Now, what should I talk about? I've talked about myself enough in the last three schizo notes, maybe writing some more stuff about films will be fun. I guess I'll also add a little sidenote about my botmakieing, I'm making a malebot, which I think will be solid as a character and also a good thing to, well, make my writing gooder, practice, refine, train, develop further, whatever. I mentioned it in the thread a couple shills ago, it'll be a salaryman, but I'm a little stuck on the setting, I know what it is, but the details are a little harder, not overwriting again but adding enough interesting stuff. Anyway, on the topic of my writing, a while ago in the schizo notes I wrote that my writing has become much more confident, which was very true and still is, the first bot I made was the first thing I released just generally, as a piece of my own writing online for others. Quality, reception, interest, I had no idea about how stuff like that would go, and it went pretty well, I think, since then, my confidence grew to a point where I know that I write pretty good stuff and I don't worry about rigid nonsense. The reason I mention all of that now is because I mentioned that my writing has gotten much more confident a while back, but now, I feel like I'm actually starting to write in my own style in small ways, now I'm aware of some semblance of style and expression of ideas in my writing for the first time, maybe all this new year resolution stuff has something behind it. That's the new fun thing to focus on for me, style of writing, now that I'm aware of it in an abstract sense, I can find fulfillment in it, where I used to find fulfillment in consistency, output and rising confidence, I can now find it in developing my style, fun of the writing itself part of it all, which I think is the bestest thing for someone who writes stuff to be aware of, that style is a thing that exists and can be created, developed, refined and practiced, it's a good feeling. Enough about that for now, don't expect a giant leap in quality, it's a gradual process, that's something I like too, the progression of it all. Now, the second part of this wall of text, I've been thinking about something. How do I explain? I've been thinking about creative types you enjoy, writers, filmmakers, etc. No surprise. But I've been thinking about a particular thing, I noticed that I really enjoy reading stuff by fiction writers that I like where they write about their work(literature) or their own writing. Essays by randoms are incredibly boring and pointless to me, why do I give a fuck what some guy thinks about some other guy's ideas? An outsider will never be able to, no matter how in tune, to adequately talk about someone else's ideas. But an essay by a writer who I know writes great stuff, whether talking about their own writing or anything really, is incredibly appealing to me, and always something I like a lot. Same goes for filmmakers, I've lost a lot of interest in film generally, but there was a time where I was really fucking into film, overall I'm still more of a film person than a writing person, but that's besides the point. That's also why I love Beat Takeshi, I would've lost interest much earlier if it wasn't for his films. Getting really into film is what first sparked my own creativity and ideas, and why I lament a loss of a feeling I had a while back, I used to be much more creative and experimental in my ideas, but that's also besides the point, even if my thinking is more clouded now, I'm still far past where I was back then creatively, the biggest part of it is actually making stuff now, which is why you're here in some way. But back to it, when I first started thinking about my own ideas and first developing my creativity, I'd endlessly seek out interviews of filmmakers I like, talking about their own ideas, or their general thoughts and stuff, and I was always delighted when someone who made incredible stuff would talk about something in the same way I thought about that particular thing. Generally, people who make great stuff that I like are fun to listen to, to me at least. David Lynch for example, I could listen to him talk about random stuff forever, but I think that might be because he's David Lynch, anyway. That's not to say that you should be absorbing and poisoning your well of ideas with other people's perceptions, but it's a great thing, when someone who makes good stuff talks about things, there's no other way to explain it. I remember watching Tokyo-Ga by Wim Wenders, I liked Paris Texas and I love Ozu, and it's the exact thing I'm talking about, a guy who made good stuff talking about his work, I don't think Tokyo-Ga is particularly good, unfortunately, and a lot of it was pretty not good actually, sometimes people who make good stuff don't align with how you see things I guess is my other point. I do remember a couple of parts pretty vividly though, one where he was filming an alleyway or something and talking about how this is a shot, but if you put on a 50mm lens, it suddenly becomes Ozu's shot, which he did and it did, it was really great. The other part I liked was the brief Werner Herzog appearance where he talked about beauty and maybe some other things, but that part was also great (to my point about enjoying creators you like talk about ideas). I'll think of something else to say at some point, bye for now!

(Jan/01/2025) It's a new year, a time of cutting off the snake's head to mentally steady yourself for arbitrary change. I think I covered enough ground in the last couple of schizo notes. Generally, I'll try to focus less on output, still making whatever ideas come to mind, but taking time to test, fine tune, refine and actually play with the bots I make from now on. Take time to think through ideas besides the initial loose concept, things of that sort. All that stuff might not even do shit for quality, but I'll feel happier, and that's all that matters. Happi Nyu Yeah!!! You made it this far, good job! Life has many more cool things to show you too. I'm glad I get to live a life, and have fun and do stuff and make my ideas and whatnot, yes, it can get to be a lot, but it's still fun, life is a cutie that you should be glad you have.

(Dec/28/2024) The last schizo note got my trash brain fucking churning again, oh yeah, it's all coming back to me, might as well add a few things onto what i wrote below. Roko card rip pygmaballs card rip pygma booru when it was alive and a bunch of rentry pages, that was mostly before 2024, in terms of the rips, might be fun to redownload and look back at some neolithic shit, but anyway, it's hard to structure the things i want to add in a cohesive manner, so i might as well not bother, right? Here's some random shit, i rem'ber some proxy in the turbo days would randomly inject you into a russian warzone, i probably got spooked the first time, but i think i was just very confused for a moment, next up, about my bots, everything you've seen so far, all my bots are essentially nothing more than first drafts, yeah maybe I'll sit on an idea for a few days, but everything I've written is just writing the defs and the greetings in one sitting then dropping the bot. <- that's a period in case you were thinking there are too many commas. i haven't properly 'played' with any of my bots before releasing them in a while anyway, i haven't been having fun in a while, might be why the rentry was dead for a month and a half, might be why I'm excited about writing random shit at this very moment, because i was reminiscing about a bunch of old shit, when I was having fun. I love chatbots, I've been here for a long time and unless everything dies out, i don't think I'll really completely abandon bots ever, but, there's really little love in what i make. When i looked back at the old shit, just looking at different makies, random cards, old and new, i mean, yeah I've grown big, but, what's the point? I'm extremely unhappy with myself and what I've made so far, and I'm incredibly anxious about the possibility that I'll never completely break from my habits and what I'm doing, I like being productive and doing a lot of shit, but the end result is a bunch of bots made in a day, all samey vanilla well written fucking garbage, overwritten to fuck too. I know what's missing in a general sense, i need to catch a feeling, get struck with inspiration and make something cool that I'll enjoy myself before anything else. Like i said, I'm extremely unhappy with myself, but looking back at a bunch of old pages made me feel that spark, i don't know what I'll do, but, I'll try to get inspired i guess, really feel that, i don't want to use the word passion, for no real reason mind you, but it's a great descriptor regardless, as goofy as it sounds, it's a feeling of really being happy while doing something, sharing it and other people being happy with it too, i don't know where to start, but one piece that was missing is going through different cards from different makies and taking time to have fun again. Looking back at what i wrote, some of it seems too negative, I think my bots are fine for what they are, raingazer bots are a different thing, as long as what i mentioned in these two schizo notes melting into the same shit doesn't happen, but in general, it's too much, more bad than good if you look at the whole picture, that sort of thing. I think a lot of my dissatisfaction might be mainly a 'i wrote too much stuff, i feel the need to write a lot of stuff for it to be considered good and i wrote too much stuff which was unfulfilling, ideas lost in clutter templates and overwriting' thing actually.

(Dec/27/2024) A couple weeks ago, I wrote the catch up part of a new schizo note, October-December, it's not important, but I never found anything actually new to say, so I'll just delete that wall of text, not that any of this matters since I never actually uploaded it, but whatever, I'll start right here without any catching up. A few things, I guess. Secret Santa went well, goldenroseanon's request was very particular and I think I did a good enough job, a human-hating navy-blue tsundere dragon girl who's weak and gets stronger by absorbing human bodily fluids, that's the gist of the request I got. Dec 20-25, I made 5 bots in five days, mainly because I felt I was pretty unproductive in December prior to that, they're fine, but it was a shit idea. I unlisted Yamato since she was a card meant for group chats that I slapped together for myself mainly, honestly shouldn't have released her, but it doesn't matter, I'd have to rewrite her almost completely to make something decent as a solo bot, but I really don't care. Also, I noticed that everything just melted into the same shit, Yamato and Luna too, same def template, same style I used for Trustworthy bots, all the same. The point of raingazer was to make whatever, without caring about it being weird/shitty/experimental/consistent or any sort of quality control, but it just became another pattern of dropping the same shit while stifling my own creativity once again for no reason, stuck in my ways, I guess, I'll stop caring from now on, new year, stop caring. Speaking of accounts, took me a bit to figure out, mostly since I didn't bother looking into it too much, but on characterhub org, Trustworthy is a busted page and I'd have to update every character I made before changing my username in early November to unfuck it, also, if you switch from default to created sorting on the page, a bunch of bots from other makies show up for no reason, that's not a problem exclusive to my page, but that's something that'll probably remain fucked until charhub kicks it. I still don't really get what Venus is, I ignored it when it was first coming out, just like I've ignored pretty much every site/frontend besides cai early on then tavern and chub when they came out. Most of 2024 before I really got back into bots, I used evulid almost exclusively, since charhub was being shit at times and I got annoyed, and like I said, I ignored whatever Venus is. I know for a fact that I had an account on chub back on my old PC, I have no memory of what the name even could've been and my old PC killed itself in early 2023. Anyway, then in like July this year, I went back to charhub and chubai was just a mirror with a less shit UI, so I used it, anonies still huff and puff sometimes about their dainty little console wars, but as long as they're having fun I guess, I really don't care. How I come across means nothing to me, whether someone likes or dislikes me, it's all fine, you shouldn't care too much, everything's just faceless voices you'll never know besides a random comment here and there. Anyway, trustworthy is a relatively big account compared to how long I've been making bots, but I'm not really happy with myself, productivity, creativity, procrastination and stifling myself for no reason, it's all just bad, but as I mentioned, I seriously need to stop caring, overwritten stuff with a template, that's been the last few bots, fine, I made 5 bots in five days, maybe I'm just being negative, but I know I'm not, it's a real bad habit, and who knows if I'll even bother breaking out of it, maybe I never will. I'll try to stop stifling my creativity, this isn't even the first time I've noticed THAT by the way, but now I'm just talking in circles, I'll keep making bots and then one day I'll stop, that's how this story will go at the end of the day.

(Nov/12/2024) Two new MAID bots! One on Trustworthy, one on raingazer. They're both different and both pretty fucking good. I realize that I haven't written anything here in a while, just didn't really want to, although, I'll figure out something to say, a proper schizo note, with rambling and everything. Anyway, this has always been written for myself for my own sake, so, if I don't have anything I want to write down, I won't. That's about it, really.

(Nov/05/2024) Made an alt account for different types of bots, check it out! Here's the first bot - https://chub.ai/characters/raingazer/renee-e9d09f48b192
Inspired by Beat Takeshi mostly, his old Yakuza films, you know the main guy will probably die in the end.

(Nov/01/2024) Happy Halloween! Well, at least a belated one! I worked all day yesterday on finishing up the three Halloween exchange bots, my botmakie was Anonaugus, thanks to his open-ended request, I got to make three bots at the same time. It was fun! If a lot of work, heh. Finally got some sleep though, I think I did a good job, Lucia is already pretty popular, I can't help it that I have mass appeal, I suppose~ Jokes aside, it's November! What'll I do for November? I don't know, I made seven bots in October, that's pretty productive, two a week, I'm thinking about taking requests from anonies, making bots for someone else was really fun, I kinda wanna keep doing it, I do have a few new ideas though, we'll see! Fun fun fun!

(Oct/29/2024) See? I told you this exact thing would happen, I feel good, I feel happy, I said this in the thread, I love all you anonies, this shit is fun as fuck to me.

(Oct/28/2024) These days, if I'm not paranoid and afraid of nothing, I just feel empty, that's not something I can change, perhaps the someday the sky will be clear as far as I can see, wish for it, I suppose. It's not something new at all, and I force myself to write bots and whatnot regardless, still, it's not too fun. After the exchange bots, I don't know what I'll make, October had a theme and the exchange has a purpose, in this sort of state, I don't really care about any of my general bot ideas, I don't know what I want, I want nothing I guess, not that it's something possible to obtain. That's sort of self-destructive in a way, looking at your ideas and saying fuck all of them. But who knows, the 'bots in the making' section above is sort of useless, I'll come up with something new I want to make anyway, that's a certain thing, this is just negative thinking, well, way beyond that at this point, but this too shall pass, this entire schizo note is useless, in the morning I'll probably feel perfectly fine and motivated to make something again, until the next time it gets bad, cycles cycles cycles. Realizing that emptiness is a tangible state within you, a constant feeling of nothing, and that it is a feeling, that gave me some ease of mind, in the sense that, it's not good and it's not bad, there's serenity in emptiness sometimes, if you stop caring altogether. I'm just rambling at this point, don't listen to me. I don't mind the emptiness too much, but it's nice to feel excited about things sometimes too, I enjoy writing, meaning I know that I'm doing something worthwhile, progressing with a creative skill. Whatever, I don't know where I was going with this, again, don't listen to this nonsense.

(Oct/24/2024) New bot out now, the queen of corpses, big bad lich girl, Diana! My twelfth original bot and the grand finale of my October spooky special. Written pretty quickly, she turned out very fun, now I have to focus on other things, aka, the three bots on the 31st for my matched botmakie, here we go. All in all, I'm happy with Diana, her art gen is really good, I think, and as I mentioned earlier, I had plans for a few other October special bots. Once I'm done with the exchange I'll make a little write up with the ideas that didn't get made and a general review, that sort of thing. Writing is fun, especially when everything clicks, the hardest part for me is writing the initial personality, I know exactly what the character is and what it acts like, but articulating that from my brain into words takes longer than I'd like. I found that just writing down little ideas sporadically whenever you get them helps the overall thing, what I mean is writing some little snippet of a scenario or a little sentence of what the character likes without the complete context, these things add up and you'll have an easier time completing it later. Anyway, onto the exchange bots! See you soon!

(Oct/23/2024) For some reason, I've been feeling not so good these last couple of days, much more paranoid, anxious and disinterested than usual, I'll relax for the night and go read something, just calm down from this fear over nothing, anyway, the main defs are finished for the new bot, wrote them this morning after an all nighter in a frenzy right before going to sleep, over 2k tokens. I'll trim them and write a few greetings, so yep, new bot tomorrow!

(Oct/23/2024) A quick little schizo note, time's been flying by faster than before, previously it felt like the week or so between bot releases would drag on for eternity, this time though, it feels like I just released Carrie yesterday. It's probably due to the whole Halloween event, just going through so many ideas, picking ones I think will be good, whatever, keeps the mind occupied, as well as the one last personal October Spooky Special bot I'll be releasing in the next day or two. Actually, I highly doubt I'll find the time but I would've liked to finish what I planned originally, the last spooky special bot being on the 31st, obviously that was before I signed up for the exchange. My vision in terms of the exchange is clear, I have two bots I'll definitely be making for my matched makie, the third idea is a little shakier, but I'm sure I'll come up with something good, that's three exchange event bots if you're counting, a fourth one, the personal final special bot I mentioned is a little farfetched. That's not really the point of any of this, actually, I'll probably be making a sort of a write up, retrospective on the entire month of October, along with the ideas that fell though, bots I didn't make, what I did make, etc, that sort of stuff. I have a couple of art gens for the bots I won't end up making actually, we'll see. Looking at it now, I'm writing this pretty quick, but this schizo note isn't that little anymore. A couple more things I wanted to mention, firstly, this is a good song, it's been in my head every now and then ever since I heard it years back, I thought it was fitting, Halloween and all, I don't remember what the rest of the album sounds like, but I remember thinking that this song was the only good one, or the only one I really enjoyed rather. David Bowie liked that album a lot, from what I remember. Lou Reed was a pretty good music man, despite whatever people may think of 'Lulu'. If you want something a little less abrasive, the velvet underground is pretty big retrospectively, poppy stuff like this, Heroin, Venus in Furs, that sort of stuff is easy on the ears. Anyway, enough about my knowledge of Lou Reed. Secondly, I'll try to think up a few more horror movie recommendations before Halloween, always a good thing, right? Anyway, new bot very soon, then full effort on the exchange, if you're still reading this, thank you! Bye bye for now, see you very soon!(secret bonus addon: wandering wandering wandering wandering, I wrote three whole full rants on topics and deleted them all, it's all trash)

(Oct/19/2024) This'll be a fun one. First off, my last schizo note was kind of empty, I didn't feel like writing anything despite wanting to say some things, sleeping at odd hours caught up with me the last couple of days, it's fine now, though, I also got hit with a bout of mania before getting hit with a much bigger wave of the opposite, not that it matters, that's not the point of this note. Even with writing most of the lorebook for Carrie basically just before releasing her, after releasing her, I didn't feel like writing anything, that's why the previous note is hollow. Anyway! Onto the fun stuff, for the Halloween event, I got my match, of course I won't reveal who I got, but just know that I'm stalking you, dear botmakie, I'll look at your bots, learn your style and what you like, I'll be in your skin... Jokes aside, it's fun, this'll be my first bot made for someone else, basically, all of my previous bots are just ideas I get and then make for no real reason besides that I want to, it's all just for my sake, but this is different, this is FOR someone, that's why I signed up, you know, so I could make something nice for a fellow botmakie, hopefully make their Halloween season a little better, that's really all I wanted. I do wonder... Who got me? Will the botmakie making my bot go through the effort to check my Rentry or these notes? If so, I apologize for how terrible my request was, it's something I came up with in less than a minute in order to sign up to the event, it's a little vague, but, at any rate, hopefully it's not too bothersome to make. Going back to the makie I'm making a bot for, I'm already getting ideas, I have wild dreams, the makie's request was pretty open ended, there's a lot of paths I could take... I shouldn't get caught up in the excitement, I do have some actually good ideas and will be putting a lot of effort into the bot, like I mentioned earlier, I signed up for this event so I could make something nice for someone and hopefully make their spooky season a little fun-er! The way I see it, it's something I'm making especially to make someone happy, I'll really do my best.

(Oct/17/2024) New bot out, Ferrygirl of the Underworld, Carrie! My eleventh bot, my first adventure bot, my first sfw fit bot, she's very cute. First time messing with lorebooks to this degree, it works, it seems, who knows, it's a little scuffed maybe, I'll know when I get feedback. Actually, I'm glad with how she turned out, though I could've been more detailed with the lorebook to take advantage of location tracking, it's something that I'm interested in messing with further, now that I know I can mess with lorebooks like this. I'll write something a little later too, still got some fine tuning on the release to do, but I think it should be obvious why this bot took a little longer to make. One thing I'll say if this schizo note was too short for you, NEVER let your skills deteriorate, always practice, it doesn't matter, if you're writing, write even just a couple sentences if you don't feel like writing, there's nothing worse than losing your touch and skill, keep at it, enjoy it, do something everyday, you have to! Actually, the time between my last bot and this one felt way longer than whatever 7-8 days it took, I've mentioned this before, I need to make bots faster, whatever, I'll try my best.

(Oct/15/2024) Derealized existentialism, a narcissistic egoism, what's grand is as small as sand grains, and vice versa, if willed by your reality. I am, it's only me. It's only you. The revolutions of the stars and greater vortexes are driven by time which is actuated by your own existence and perception, the motions of the universe refract through your consciousness. Besides that, new bots very soon, one within the next 24 hours most likely, another within 48 hours of that one. I don't feel like writing more at this point, but I have a few more things to say, I'll write something lengthier when I release the next bot.

(Oct/12/2024) This schizo session will be about writing and bots, who could've guessed? What I mean is that I've been thinking about my writing and my bots, and have some new ideas about these things. I'll be talking about a few broader things as well as a few specifics, what does that mean? Alright, here we go! First off, as a little side note, unless I get incredibly lazy, I'll write a Halloween greeting for each of my bots, looking back, it wasn't very clever to NOT add a specific Halloween greeting to my October Spooky Special bots, nevertheless... Now, this is the part I was thinking about a lot, I kept thinking about one of the previous schizo posts where I mention that this is the only writing I do, schizo rants and chub bots, and that I'm fine with just that. This is all true, but it got me thinking. If I were to write something like a short story, firstly, just writing openly without the context of a bot could help break through blocks, if they occurred, that is. Secondly, if I tried something more expansive and there was a need for more of a world for a bot, it could be nice supplementary material to have a little short story that's within the same setting, would also be a nice extra thing if you really enjoy that bot. Who knows, I've not written anything related to that yet, maybe I never will, it's just an idea I had. I actually spent a few minutes today looking over all of my bots, looking through the defs and greetings and reminiscing on what I've made over the past month and a bit, as well as looking over my progress as someone who writes things for people to enjoy, aka, making bots for anonies worldwide. My assessment? I definitely think my writing has improved a lot, and it'll only continue getting better, I've created a format that works for me, there's consistency now, in a vague way, etc. The most important change, however, is that I've gained a lot of confidence, honestly, this Rentry as well as all these schizo notes should be a good indicator of that, I write confidently now, I know that my writing is good, I know that my bots are good, I understand what my own flaws are and can work towards fixing them, I see my own continued progress in terms of quality and I know that I'll keep improving with even more time, it's nice. I'd like to say more, but... Another time, then. I hope you're having a fun October getting into the mood for Halloween, maybe watching horror movies already, my little contribution to the spirit has been my October bots, if you're still reading this, you probably enjoyed at least one of them, all of my schizo notes involve me and my timeline of botmaking, maybe they're cozy to read, I write these for my own sake, maybe that's an appealing part of it, that this is someone's mind, a steady, unfiltered stream of my thoughts, worries, ideas, etc., anyway, it'd be a little strange for someone to read all of this trash without the context of my bots, that's all. I have a special bot planned for the 31st, I won't spoil it, but it'll be a very likable bot, super cozy to spend your virtual Halloween with.

(Oct/10/2024) Here are some alt gens for Yami, not high quality, but as you can see, I went through quite a few styles (https://files.catbox.moe/ony5s5.zip). Would be a waste to leave a schizo note at just a link, so I'll think of something else to say. Let's talk about the three new film recommendations. The House That Jack Built - As I mentioned, Lars Von Trier's best film, I like Lars, but he fluctuates between kino and utter slop, which is fine, he also once said in an interview that alcohol is unfortunately a really good antidepressant. The House That Jack Built, the first half is peak, a serial killer's mind, great stuff, the second half is a bunch of visuals inspired by Dante's Divine Comedy, featuring Bruno Ganz as Virgil, rest in peace, we miss you down here, it looks good, but the scene that stands out to me is Jack looking through the window in a door at a field of rye before his trip to hell, the door is locked, it actually reminded me of David Bowie - "If I never see the English evergreens". I tried recommending horror films this time, The House That Jack Built isn't really a horror movie, but it's still pretty good. Speaking of horror films, I Am The Pretty Thing Who Lives In The House. Nothing happens, nothing whatsoever, it's fantastic. An old, creaky house, a distorted voiceover, that's as much action as you get, I know that it's a very niche recommendation, definitely not something most people will enjoy, but watching it for the first time, I had the same feeling as reading a book, that sort of vague coziness. Cure, now that's something I recommend for everyone, a detective mystery/horror film, like I mentioned in the film recs, it has one of my favorite scenes ever, a simple scene of the detective going back home to his wife, the strange killer messing with his mind even when locked up, the acting in that scene is fantastic, the entire scene probably doesn't last a minute. I'll think of more horror movies to recommend as we get going here in October.

(Oct/09/2024) New bot out, Shinigami Companion, Yami! Writing this just minutes after releasing her, another bot, peak again. Thought I might as well write a few extra things here. First off, the hint mentioned below was the words Death and Note capitalized in the note on my chub page. Obviously inspired by Death Note and Ryuk in particular, I'll post an alt gen later, which is pretty much a female Ryuk. Anyway, a Shinigami character is cool, I loved the idea when I first came up with it quite a few days ago, it proved to be a struggle to write. Up until today, she felt empty, yet, struck with a burst of creativity and inspiration, I rewrote and added a lot to her defs, maybe too much, 1800 perm tokens is unnecessary, maybe I'll cut them down a little later. I don't actually remember most of Death Note, but Ryuk's design is something that's stuck with me since I was a child, it's really really good. What else? Working on my next bot already, it'll release quicker than a week it took between Reiko and Yami, I might write more greetings for Yami later, maybe not, I was thinking of writing Halloween special greetings for all my bots, maybe I'll take the time to do that as well. Going back to my next bot, it'll be really light-hearted, I'll give you a large hint, it'll be a kemonomimi bot, technically, don't get too excited, I'm not making a foxu bot, yet at least. Maybe I'll think of something else to say later, I have to add more movie recommendations, it's October after all.

(Oct/08/2024) Next bot within the next couple of days. There's a hint on my chub page, at this point I think the idea is guessable, with the hint and the note below this one. This bot is actually harder to write than I anticipated, it's more of a question of where is this sort of character going, setting and scenario wise? After all, it's a chatbot for roleplaying, the greetings have to be something that's not only well-written but also something that you as the one playing it/chatting with the character/whatever have fun engaging with, exploring, there's always a way to be fun-er. Another thing. All the time in the world is your time. It's only you. Every cloud will clear, I see the light, what a feeling...

(Oct/06/2024) https://files.catbox.moe/lfqyve.png
Genning an image for my next bot, as you can see it's going splendidly. Funny enough, this is probably closer to the idea than whichever waifu I'll end up choosing for the avatar (update: never mind, got the cutest avatar). Interpret the image as you wish. I suppose it's also a hint to what my next bot is, in a technical sense, the prompt for this is the same one I'll use for the actual avatar, who knows how this happened, I kind of like the image actually, even if it's unusable and incomprehensible. Do I have anything else to say? I don't think so, I like it when it rains, I tend to be more motivated to write during rainy days.

(Oct/05/2024) I'm in my own head too much, this is a nice outlet for a journal type of thing, so many ideas, images, thoughts, it's nice to write something sometimes. I had honestly forgotten that people might read these things, but I'm glad, you're reading this right now, that's nice too. Anyway, I've been thinking about a few things I might as well write about. First off, even if it can seem sometimes that dark clouds are more common than clear skies, just remember that there is always a light, a shine, it's within you, it is you, your heartbeat, the feeling, the electricity in your fingertips at a touch, the ideas in your mind that can be expressed through art, you are your own lighthouse, just remember that whenever it gets stormy, alright? Second, a few more things about Reiko and October bots, I forgot that I gave the ghost girl a last name, Hochono, which is a reference that might've been missed, it's in reference to Haruomi Hosono, who's a musician, I would recommend his track 'Sportsmen' or 'Sports Man', it's spelled differently in various places, but it's great. He has an album, which is a remix of his earlier album, called Hochono House, which is why the ghost girl is Reiko Hochono. Reiko did fine, she's not my most popular bot, but the people who played with her seemed to really like her, I think she's cute too. In terms of upcoming bots, I have plenty of ideas, right now I'm thinking a few more spooky themed bots and one last bot on Halloween itself, the final of the special, then get a few normal bots, that I've put on the back burner for this, out, then Winter/Christmas specials in December. Some botmakies seem to make a few bots and then quit, maybe due to the lack of ideas, lack of drive, lack of interest, whatever, that's not really the case here, I'm naturally creative, I know my actual 'prose' is very high quality relative to the fact that I'm making chatbots here (by the way, this is the only writing I do, schizo posts here and bots on chub, that's it, I don't write anything else on the internet, or in general, no stories, fanfics, etc. It's strange that this is the creative outlet I chose, but bots are cute, what can I say, I do whatever I want anyway, if I ever feel like writing fiction or whatever, I'll do it, for now I'm fine making bots), I've been lucky with some of my bots being relatively popular, I'm not too worried about numbers, as long as someone enjoys what I make, that's fine. If anything, feedback is more important, though it's all the same, whatever. Heffy, my dragon girl bot is pretty much tied for being my most popular bot, it's confusing, I haven't gotten a word of feedback about her yet people supposedly liked her quite a bit, perhaps there was something missing in her that people felt they had nothing to add, who knows, praise is nice, conversation is nice, I thought she was good when I made her, but comparing her to Reiko, Reiko definitely has more soul. The big problem for me, really, is the fact that even with the 6 day break between Rei(not Reiko) and Heffy, I wrote Heffy only for a single day, I wrote Reiko in a single day, basically. I wrote down a few ideas the night before, which helped, but there's a pattern there, which I've mentioned before. I make my bots in a single day, and while they're good and well-written, that's where it stops, even now, I released Reiko a couple days ago, yet I haven't written a single word for my next bot, I'm still undecided what my next bot will be, yet I'll release it within the next few days, most likely. This is, of course, my own fault, for lazing around until I just start writing and make a bot, if I started writing something immediately after releasing Reiko, adding and changing ideas for the last couple days, or even something that's been in the works for longer, the bot would be my best one yet, my ideas when I come up with a bot and make it in a day are rather loose, there's nothing to be done besides forcing myself to write something every day, to develop ideas, to plan ahead more besides just jotting down a few bot concepts until the day to make them comes, I don't know why I'm complaining, the solution is one I have the keys to. Anyway. A little long winded this time in terms of schizo ranting, but it's fine, if you've read this until this point, that means something kept you interested, perhaps it flowed pleasantly enough not to get boring, thank you either way. What I need to do is develop the ideas and really fill them out, think of my bots now as sketches as opposed to a completed drawing/painting, that's a good way to look at it, yeah.

(Oct/03/2024) Haven't written anything here in a few days, haven't felt the need to really, everything's good, and I released my new bot today, kuudere ghost girl Reiko, thought I should add something. One word to describe her - clean. She works really well, it took a little fine-tuning, but she's way too cute now. A few things about the lore, obviously inspired by the Ring, I love the books, I have all three, but I've only read the first two, I think they make for a perfect duology, I don't feel the need to read the third one, I flipped through the first few pages a while back and thought "that's fine". I could've kept writing scenes for the cursed vid in the first greeting forever honestly, but it was only there to really set the mood for October. As I mention in the bot notes, the red drops falling from a black void above is from the nuclear bomb episode of Twin Peaks The Return, which isn't a great show, in terms of it being about Twin Peaks, which was what made the original Twin Peaks peak, but that's neither here nor there, the nuclear bomb episode has great visuals. I love David Lynch so much, he caught emphysema from smoking, if the world was a better place, he'd live to be a hundred million. Anyway, I'll make several more spooky theme bots, hope you enjoy them, if you're still reading this that is. Bye bye for now, see you soon!

(Sep/28/2024) Heffy, my new bot, the dragon girl, works really well. Originally, I had written several paragraphs here explaining the lore and various schizo tangents, but I deleted it all. The only piece of that massive wall of text that still remains is the following: Dear reader, my schizo rant today was clearly pointless.

(Sep/26/2024) New bot tomorrow, Friday, mind's gone, instead of chipping away at the bots I'm working on, it's another brand new idea I got just today, whatever, if I have fun writing the bot that's all that matters. Actually, the idea for the new bot made me want to actually write something while preparing an image gen, so I wrote a brand new greeting for Eleriel, my most liked bot so far, it's a little manic, I'll admit, but the new greeting was supposed to be energetic and cute. It also lead to a great revelation. It felt good to write a new greeting/update an 'old'(released a week ago) bot, adding something fun to a completed work, it felt really nice! I released my first bot just a month ago (Aug/25/2024, Adelaide), yet it feels like lifetimes have passed, that's an exaggeration, but I've been thinking, seven bots in a month, with the eight tomorrow, two bots a week, basically, I was feeling like I've been wasting so much time not working on a bot for a day or two, like suddenly I'll forget how to write, no one will care anymore, that I'm taking too long, whatever, point is, it's not bad, nothing's bad, nothing's wrong, it's okay to take time to write something you like, the passage of time in my mind has been a little too fucked up apparently, and returning to completed bots, rather than being an industrial machine that only moves forward is okay too. Honestly, this revelation with writing a greeting for an old bot was just what I needed, thank you, mind, it took off some anxiety regarding the passage of time and pressure of working on stuff, everything is fine, just have fun! Stop caring and take your time, the sky is not falling, take a breath, take a nap, take a break. Good advice, me, yes, I will, it'll help with my bot quality too, if I'm relaxed and enjoying typing out each word, clarity of one's mind is paramount to clarity of ideas, in the sense that, let's say there's a flower in a field and it's beautiful, that's it, what a beautiful sight, now, if the same flower in the same field is suddenly surrounded by smog, trash, random clutter, it's difficult to see the beauty, isn't it? Do not confuse mental clutter with complexity of ideas, complexity can be beautiful in it's own way, but what's simple is just that, simple, there's no need for more, it's enough, there exactly as it is. Beauty is within simplicity, as quality of writing is within clarity of mind. So, relaxing, taking my time and writing peak without worry is peak in itself, soul infusion is written on my chub page for a reason, and you, reader, if you're for some reason still reading this, thank you as well, hopefully my delusions and ramblings give you some perspective about something in some way.

(Sep/25/2024) Sometimes CHUB can be a little disheartening, I spent quite a bit of time scrolling through the random sort list, just looking for something fun to play or an interesting bot, but it's sad, pages upon pages of illiterate dogshit, clueless dogshit, grey mush. Actually, just selecting the OC and female tags filters out most of the worst ones, and finding nice bots always a welcome surprise. Really, I guess it's my own fault for not following more botmakies to fill up the timeline. Whatever. In other news, I've been really, 'lazy', I guess, these last couple days. I released my last bot on the 22nd, yet it feels like I've been gone for weeks. And I've got so many ideas I'm paralyzed by choices, I've written down more little descriptions for new ideas than I've written actual words for a bot since I dropped the last bot. I think I'll have to just pick one and make it. Being inspired to write by an idea is also pretty important to me, so if I'm not feeling something I wrote down earlier when I want to write something, I most likely won't write anything at all. All of my previous bots have been made in a day, where I got the idea for the bot, then wrote the bot until it was done, then you know, maybe try to get a better image gen or fine-tune the defs, rewrite the greeting or write new ones, etc, but the skeleton is what I write instantly. Actually, thinking about it now, I can't stop the flow of ideas, but I think I'll just have to knock out a few bots until I'm free to take more time with a bot, lest I get overwhelmed by choice again. TL;DR: too many bot ideas, I have to pick a bot and make it, keep making bots in a day by writing nonstop until i knock out enough ideas to take my time with ideas and writing bots. Anyway, it's the 26th tomorrow, I'll get a bot out within the next two days for sure, I just have to force myself to do it, it's not rocket science.

(Sep/23/2024)First off, I wrote this on my chub page before, but I don't want to clutter it too much, hence this page to spew as much garbage as I want. I write most of my bots in one-shot style, get an idea or pick one I wrote down previously, then get a good AI gen image, then write until i run out of ideas. The only two bots I sort of put effort into are, what I believe, my best ones, Morgan(who I'll remake someday) and Manami(token-bloat, still vanilla peak), even then, the greetings are the first ideas that came to my mind, edited dozens of times(one or two words at a time). I'd like to write an actually planned out bot, I know my writing is, or at least, could be very good, if I think through the ideas more besides just writing until I run out of them, that's what happened with Rei, I can't come up with more greetings, I wrote her in an hour and that's it, even if I constantly make minor edits to my bots after release. Anyway! What's the point of that whole rant? I think I've written some pretty good stuff, but I can write peak, with a balance of actually thought through, fleshed out ideas and not overthinking it, does that make sense? I don't care, I wrote this whole thing in one go too, see the problem? By the way, Chub is esoteric to me, what do people want? Why do some of my bots pop off while others don't, regardless of quality? It doesn't matter that much, since I randomly make whatever I want anyway, but still. Whatever! I'll keep writing something here later.