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Translations by Rune Translations Rune Translations Bad Life

Warnings

This Chapter contains despictions of :
Violence, abuse.

Volume 1

Chapter 1 Part One

The Boys on the Top Floor

That school was originally a monastery in ancient times. However, it only functioned as a monastery for about a hundred years after being built in the early 17th century.

In the late 18th century, the monastery transformed into a school, becoming a private institution where only children from noble families or wealthy merchants could enroll by paying expensive tuition fees.

The school was located in a small rural village called Bluebell in the northern province of Forkgrand. It was a consistently cold place except for 3 to 4 months a year. Dense forests surrounded the area within a 15km radius, and there were no nearby houses, making it a completely isolated and remote location. All students lived in dormitories. The school staff and related personnel also either lived in the school's dormitories or in Gorun, which was an hour and a half drive from Bluebell.

The school was a quiet and peaceful place. Well-trained teachers skillfully handled the students, and because the school rules were not strict, conflicts between staff and students were rare. The students were also familiar and comfortable with each other, having experienced similar family and educational backgrounds. It was not uncommon for someone to transfer in or out, so there was relatively little reluctance to accept outsiders.

Perhaps this place was close to Thoreau's <Walden.> In fact, there was a swamp in the forest surrounding the school that everyone called <Kelly.> Older teachers referred to it as a lake. It seemed to have been a real lake in the past, but now it could only be called a swamp.

This was a brief impression of this school a month after I had transferred there.

I only found out that I was the illegitimate child of the movie actress Julia Goodman when I turned fifteen. Julia Goodman was a famous actress and classical beauty with lush brown hair and dark eyes who had won the Oscar for Best Actress twice. She was now only thirty-three years old and had gotten married a few years ago, having three-year-old twins.

The fact that she had a fifteen-year-old child was a secret even I, her child, did not know. Perhaps I might have never known. The only reason I found out about her was because she appeared after my father died in a traffic accident.

Julia did not even attend my father's funeral. It was only a couple of months after burying my father that Julia came to get me. Julia and I looked strikingly similar. However, unlike Julia, who was always well-groomed and tidy from constant management, I had just went through puberty and my height suddenly shot up like a pole, with an unsightly skinny frame and gaunt cheeks. When we first saw each other, we thought the only similarities between us were our hair and eye color. However, during the five years I spent living in Julia's jaw-droppingly luxurious mansion, I also gradually changed.

After spending a few years living a luxurious life, we finally came to resemble each other so much that anyone could recognize us as mother and child when we stood side by side. At that point, Julia decided she could no longer live under the same roof as me. Once I was no longer of an age to be under parental care, Julia sent me off to this school. On paper, I was still a parentless orphan. Even my guardian's name was listed as Julia's secretary. Shortly after arriving at the school, I learned that it was made up of kids in similar circumstances as me.

In other words, the school was more like a place of exile than an actual school. Just as my very existence was my mother's weakness, all the students at that school were blemishes to their parents or families. Someone's illegitimate child, a troublesome kid who committed crimes at a young age, the youngest child pushed aside in inheritance disputes. There were young students who had just turned sixteen, as well as sham college students my age who had just turned twenty.

We were all dragged to this rural backwater school under the pretext of preparing for Oxford, art school, or rarely, the Grandes Écoles, and began our boarding life as if we were exiled. That was why the school frequently accepted transfer students. Equally, there were also plenty of students trying to escape from here, so transfers out or dropping out were also common.

In fact, that was the case. Who would want to send away their precious child to a nameless remote rural school as if exiling them? Unless that child was a useless prodigal son and a thorn in their side, there was no reason not to find another way, such as assigning a private tutor to educate them in London or spending a fortune to get them admitted to a university through donations.

The students at this school were useless prodigal sons and thorns in their parents' sides. I was no exception.

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It was April.

Even though it was April, it was terribly cold. I arrived in Bluebell with all my luggage packed in a single trunk. It was six o'clock in the evening. Wearing only my school uniform without a coat, my teeth soon began to chatter.

After waiting for about an hour, sitting on my trunk in front of the old pub in Bluebell, the Cadillac sent by the school finally arrived. The driver was kind. He willingly loaded my trunk into the car and opened the rear door for me.

As I got into the car filled with warm air and sank into the soft, plush cream-colored seat, drowsiness immediately washed over me. My frozen, stiff body slowly thawed. I gazed at the pointy-leaved trees passing by outside the window until I dozed off at some point. The driver let me sleep until we reached the school.

The school was majestic. It felt like I might get lost. The main school building, which still used the original monastery structure, was only two stories high but incredibly wide with very high ceilings. The dormitory appeared to be somewhat distant from the school, slightly buried in the forest. There were also other facilities like stables and well-maintained polo fields, cricket pitches, and tennis courts, but I wondered how they could play games in this cold region.

I left my trunk at the entrance and walked into the school that had once been a monastery. With classes over for the day, the interior of the school was not just quiet but eerie. The air seemed frozen due to the cold weather, making it very still. I walked slowly so my footsteps wouldn't be heard. Nevertheless, my footsteps echoed loudly against the empty stone walls. Ceiling paintings depicting Jesus with a halo and his disciples continued all the way to the end of the corridor. They were splendid and beautiful. I moved forward with my head tilted back, not even realizing my neck was hurting.

My shoulders hunched as it was still a bit chilly, but as I crossed the corridor, the tension eased and I gradually began to like the school. I particularly liked how quiet it was. Even the silence and isolated feeling gave me a sense of stability.

After a while, the corridor ended and I encountered a large, thick wooden door. Opening the door and entering, warm light and voices flowed out. I sat obediently in a chair while the staff searched for documents. After going through the transfer process and signing various consent forms, the staff informed me of my assigned dormitory room.

As I took the documents and key handed to me by the staff and turned around, she suddenly spoke up behind me.

I looked back at her. She was holding out a green scarf to me. I took the scarf from her and glanced at the name tag on her chest. It was Anna. She was the first person whose name I learned at this school.

The driver took me to the dormitory. The distance from the main building to the dormitory was walkable, but it would have been difficult to drag my trunk.

The dormitory was also a stone building. After passing through a garden decorated with statues and fountains and entering inside, a staff member who seemed to be the housemaster was waiting for me in the spacious lobby illuminated by electric lights. I was assigned to the top floor. The housemaster and I shared the task of carrying the trunk as we climbed up to the 4th floor.

The housemaster was about a bit shorter than me (in fact, most people were about shorter than me) and had a stoic impression with neatly combed black hair. As we climbed the stairs, he informed me of the rules.

I asked, <So as long as I don't leave the school, I can sleep outside the dormitory?>

The housemaster replied, <That's correct. You can stay in the library or special activity rooms. Just be mindful of the times when the doors lock and unlock.>

We arrived in front of the room where I would be living for the next 2 years. The 4th floor had a reception room and a spacious balcony, and the left and right corridors were divided with only two doors each. We went to the door in the left corridor. The housemaster set down the trunk, bid farewell, and promptly left. His footsteps were inaudible due to the carpet on the floor.

I took out the key I received from the staff. The bronze key was bluish and cold. I unlocked the door with the key and stepped into the room. A living room with a fire burning in the fireplace unfolded before my eyes. It felt more like a cozy home than a dormitory. A boy sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace, looking at his laptop, stuck his head out and turned to look at me. The boy's eyes widened.

The boy said, <You're late? They said you'd be here around six o'clock.>

I didn't respond.
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<......>

The boy asked, <Have you eaten dinner? We already ate without you because you were late.>

We? Before I could ask, two other boys appeared from the room. The blond boy said,

<Oh, it's you? You're Raymond, right? Hi. I'm Hugh.>

The boy who introduced himself as Hugh approached me with big strides and offered a handshake. I silently took his hand and shook it. The other boy who followed Hugh held out his hand.

<Hi. I'll be sharing a room with you.>

I stared intently at that boy as I shook his hand.

There were a total of three boys living with me. The boy sitting on the sofa with the laptop was <George>, the blond boy was <Hugh>, and the one sharing a room with me was <Simon>.

<Simon> was as tall as me with broad shoulders. He woke up at the crack of dawn and went out jogging as soon as the entrance opened. When he returned to the dormitory, he brought my share of breakfast from the cafeteria. But he didn't talk much. I was also a quiet person, so we got along quite well.

Simon was always sharp and tidy. He neatly combed his chocolate-colored hair, wore a wrinkle-free uniform that hung on a hanger, put on polished black shoes, and headed to school. He never slouched. He always had his shoulders wide open and his back straight, with an impeccable face. In my eyes, he really seemed like an oddball.

He wasn't the type to study hard. He was accustomed to etiquette and manners, but he was more interested in theater than studying. He put effort into theater club activities and always watched movies in the dormitory. But for a boy who reads Beckett or Ibsen's plays, his movie tastes were in the Hollywood-style drama genre.

I often lay with my feet propped up on the headboard of the bed and watch movies together with Simon, which he played on the monitor on his desk. At first, Simon wore headphones while watching movies, but when he noticed that I was sometimes watching from behind, he started unplugging the headphones and turning on the speakers to watch movies.

<Hugh> was a few centimeters shorter than Simon and me, but he had a solid build. That was because he used to be a promising swimmer who had won the junior championship. He had a physique with wide shoulders and smooth muscle development. He still swims in the school pool, but he doesn't compete anymore. Now he studied with the goal of getting into Cambridge.

Hugh had a very sociable and lively personality. I was a bit closer to Hugh than to Simon, with whom I shared a room. In fact, Hugh was close to everyone. He greeted the stern-looking dormitory housemaster warmly, joked around with almost all the students, and was on friendly terms not only with the teachers but also with the school's office staff, so he frequently received gifts from someone.

He wasn't the type to be bound by rules and had a very free-spirited personality, so everything from his attire to his usual behavior was loose and relaxed. He often went to hang out in other rooms, making a lot of noise, and sometimes returned to the room just before midnight. While living with Hugh, I became accustomed to seeing him lying in front of the fireplace, shirtless, writing papers and reading books. If I had to pick one person I liked the most among George, Hugh, and Simon, it would be Hugh. I especially liked that he laughed a lot.

<George> was the tallest among us, but also the thinnest. With his always pale face and light blue eyes, he gave the impression of being sickly and introverted. He didn't even go to school often. He didn't wear a uniform either. He always wore a black sweater and wrinkle-free cotton pants, and sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace in slippers, fiddling with his laptop.

I didn't really know what he was doing. Judging by the laptop screen filled with some complex programs and formulas, he seemed to be a very skilled programmer or hacker. One time when I went to the room George and Hugh shared, there were about three or four monitors on the desk and several computer cases, so after that, I concluded that he was that kind of person. I could barely play card games on the computer.

Although he was deeply immersed in computers, George was quite talkative. He diligently responded to Hugh's chatty conversations and they got along surprisingly well, so it was easy to see why they shared a room. George was a habitual absentee, so at first, we had almost no contact, but the reason we became close was also thanks to his talkativeness. It was George who told me about Simon, Hugh, and himself. And about one other person.

Now we need to know about <Jerome>.

Ever since I started living in the dormitory, I couldn't help but learn about <Jerome>. <Jerome> was always in our room at four in the afternoon. He would sit across from George by the fireplace and have conversations. Sometimes he would also talk with Simon, and on days when Hugh returned early from vacation, he would chat with Hugh as well. They were all tedious conversations. They often talked about happenings at school, gossip about politicians or celebrities, football, and games too. And at exactly six o'clock, he would return to his room.

<Jerome>'s room was on the right side of the corridor on the same floor as ours. <Jerome> used the room alone. According to George, it was because there weren't enough students, but I didn't believe that. From the moment I first saw <Jerome>, I instinctively disliked him. He was about the same height and build as me, but somehow he gave a larger and stronger impression than I did. His horseback riding physique was slender and nimble, and his hands were a bit larger than the average person's.

Because he rode horses every day, he often came wearing equestrian clothing. He wore white riding pants that clung tightly to his legs, black boots, an unbuttoned white shirt, and carried a leather riding crop. I particularly disliked that crop. <Jerome> would often playfully lift the tip of Hugh's chin with the leather loop at the end of the crop, and I found that sight very uncomfortable.

That's not to say <Jerome> went around brandishing the crop. He seemed to come hang out in our room right after finishing horseback riding in that attire, and he would usually place the crop quietly on his thigh or habitually fiddle with the leather loop with his fingers. Nonetheless, due to <Jerome>'s strong impression, I really didn't like that he carried a crop.

<Jerome> tried to act friendly towards me a few times as well. He greeted me first and would strike up conversations when we ran into each other at school. However, when I kept my distance and avoided getting closer than necessary, <Jerome> soon picked up on it and stopped trying to close the distance.

But sometimes, when I looked up from reading a book on the sofa, I would make eye contact with <Jerome> staring intently at me. At those times, I would be the first to close my book and flee into my room. Usually Simon would be watching a movie in the room, so I would feel an inexplicable sense of relief and end up watching the movie together with Simon.

<Jerome> was that kind of uncomfortable presence. From his inscrutable smooth face to monopolizing an entire room all to himself, he was a suspicious and shady fellow through and through.

Aside from the fact that I disliked <Jerome>, my new school life was smooth sailing.

After Dad died, I couldn't attend school while living with Julia. I was home-schooled and spent most of my time at home. Julia never wanted me to be discovered by the people in the world. I was startled by the luxurious life that suddenly befell me, and I was deeply saddened after losing Dad, so I behaved as Julia wished.

At first, there was a period where I relied on Julia. I was afraid that if she abandoned me too, I would truly be all alone in this world. However, as time passed, my grief over Dad's death also wore away, and I could finally realize reality.

Ever since Dad died, I had been alone all along. Julia and I had no relationship whatsoever. I was merely being raised like livestock in that house. Using homeschooling as an excuse, she prevented me from going to school. Citing that it was an unfamiliar country where I knew no one, she didn't let me go out either. That method gradually warped into a form of confinement.

Of course, I will get revenge on Julia for treating me that way. I don't know what happened between Julia and Dad. I didn't want to know either. Dad was a laborer working at a brick factory, and I grew up poor, but we lived a fairly happy life.

Regardless of whether Julia took me in out of a sense of responsibility, it's undeniable that she confined and raised me at home for about 5 years of my life. How will I exact revenge? I was immersed in that thought for the past year and finally came to this school.

The school's principle was that students would usually spend about a year in the dormitory, take the college entrance exam, and graduate. However, Julia went through the procedures to have me study at this rural school for 2 years, citing that the results of my homeschooling were lacking. I was in a position to be trapped at Bluebell's rural school for 2 years without budging. So I arrived at Bluebell already full of hostility towards the school, but school life was much more peaceful than I thought.

It was the first time in nearly 5 years that I saw people my age again. While confined in the mansion, the only people I met were a small number of servants, Julia's family, and her secretary. I was inwardly worried, but none of the students found an outsider like me unnatural. They accepted me naturally as if I had been one of them from the beginning. Classes were ordinary too. I wasn't preparating for entrance exams to Oxford, Grandes Écoles, art schools or the like, so I received a normal high school education.

I studied English literature and felt the joy of learning for the first time. Reading books was quite enjoyable. I often played soccer, went for walks alone in the forest, and had fun playing with the dogs raised in the barn.

I didn't make any friends. Simon, Hugh, and George all felt somewhat distant to be called friends. But Simon brought me breakfast every morning, I had lunch sometimes with Hugh and sometimes with Simon, and I always had dinner with either Simon or George, so at some point they started to feel like a family that wasn't quite friendly.

After dinner, Simon always went out for a walk, so I usually spent time with George. It was George who told me about the school's strange atmosphere.

George said,

I nodded.

George took off his glasses that were perched on the bridge of his nose and asked,

I didn't answer.

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George stared at me with pale blue eyes that looked almost transparent.

<There's no one to protect you anywhere, is there?>

I gazed at George. He was asking as if to confirm. I thought for a moment before answering. Suddenly, I turned my head and looked out the window. It was getting dark beyond the foggy window due to the cold weather. Outside that window, there was nowhere for me to go except my father's grave. I slowly nodded.

<No.>

George smiled faintly at those words.

I realized the true meaning of those words two weeks later.

By mid-May, the weather had become quite warm. It wasn't cold even without wearing a coat over the school uniform. It was the weekend, and most of the students had received permission to go out and went on a trip to the nearby town of Gorun. Simon, Hugh, and even George were no exception. Simon said his nanny was coming to see him and he was going to spend the weekend at a hotel in Gorun. Hugh left early in the morning, so I didn't even see his face. George went out saying he had some things to buy.

It seemed like I was the only one left in the entire dormitory. Some staff members remained at the school, but they were holed up inside the building and not even their faces were visible. I leisurely left the dormitory around noon. I didn't have much money on hand, but more than anything, I had nothing to do even if I went all the way to Gorun, so I chose to take a walk around the empty school. I saw the horses in the stable, borrowed the stable keeper's bicycle and rode it in the forest, and by the time I returned, it was lunchtime.

I had a simple lunch in the cafeteria, and spent the remaining time sitting in the garden, enjoying the view of the campus. Even though I had stayed in a luxurious mansion, due to the long period of confinement, I was grateful even for the opportunity to enjoy the open scenery. I returned to the dormitory around five o'clock in the afternoon. When I unlocked the locked door and entered, I saw a head of black hair sitting in front of the fireplace. I assumed it must be Simon.

I spoke first.

<You're back early, Simon. Didn't you say you were going to stay in Gorun for the weekend?>

The black head turned to look at me.

<Yeah. Simon is going to stay the night there.>

It wasn't Simon. It was <Jerome>. <Jerome> had entered our room where no one was, as he pleased. He must have come around four o'clock as usual. He was an unpleasant and suspicious bastard.

<Jerome> grinned and gestured to me. I thought about ignoring him and going into the room, but I couldn't be that rude. After all, <Jerome> was friends with the three people who lived in the same room as me. However, without hiding my discomfort, I sat across from <Jerome>. <Jerome> was wearing his usual riding clothes and that riding crop I hated was lying on his thigh.

<Jerome> asked,

<No. I didn't go out.>

<Jerome> smiled brightly even at the blunt reply. He asked again,

I asked back,

<Jerome> narrowed his eyes and looked at me. But he still had a smiling face.

I asked with a face full of evident displeasure.

<Jerome> straightened his back that had been leaning against the sofa. It was just that action, but I started to feel my mouth go dry from the tension. <Jerome> answered softly.

That voice was soft and kind, but somehow dangerous. It wasn't a reasonable suspicion that could specify the basis, but I felt the danger. I abruptly stood up from the sofa. The moment I tried to say something to <Jerome>, <Jerome> suddenly whipped me with a lightning-fast motion of the riding crop.

The crop struck my thigh. At first, I was dazed, not knowing what had happened, but that moment passed very quickly. The thigh that was whipped collapsed before I even realized it. It was my eyes that reacted first before my voice due to the pain. Tears welled up, and blood rushed rapidly to my face and neck. As soon as I sank to the floor, <Jerome> whipped my back in succession with the crop. Only then did I finally let out a scream.

<Aaaagh

<Quiet.>

<Jerome> scolded me in a stern voice, as if commanding a horse. I couldn't even hear the sound of him speaking. My thigh hurt as if it was on fire, and my back hurted, as if the skin on my back had been torn. This pain was a first for me. It was the first time in my life that I had been in so much pain! I involuntarily trembled at the pain that struck like lightning. Tears flowed wildly, wetting the carpet and my cheeks. I couldn't even breathe properly, so I writhed in pain for a while.

<Jerome> lifted my face, which was stained with tears on the carpet, with the leather loop at the end of the riding crop. I raised my head, twitching in pain. <Jerome> looked at me with a kindly smiling face, sitting on the sofa in the same posture as before. I looked up at <Jerome>, trembling.

<Jerome> asked in a much gentler voice.

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<Does it hurt?>

I didn't have the energy to answer, so I just looked up at him blankly. Only pain rose to my brain, and it was difficult to even breathe properly. Only the feeling of hot tears flowing down my cheeks was vivid along with the burning pain.

<Jerome> said.

This crazy fucker. Curses welled up to the back of my throat, but whether it was because of shock or pain, my tongue wouldn't move. My body was completely frozen. If I could, I would rush at <Jerome> and break his nose, but I couldn't even move a finger.

<Jerome> put away the riding crop. He wiped the tears from my cheek with his gloved hand and kindly said.

At those words, my body, which had been tense, relaxed. I got up like a puppet. Even though my legs were trembling, I went into the bathroom as <Jerome> said. As soon as I entered the bathroom, I locked the door and sank to the floor. My body shook as if I had been stripped naked and kicked out in the middle of winter. But it wasn't because of the pain. This was fear. I was shaking with terror.

With trembling hands, I sparsely pulled my pants down to my knees, revealing the bright red mark where my thigh had been whipped. It would definitely bruise. I pulled my pants back up and this time took off the sweater I was wearing. There was also a vivid red mark on my back.

I soon gathered my wits. After straightening my clothes, I washed my face with cold water and stared intently at the mirror. So, that bastard <Jerome> had been waiting for an opportunity. He had quietly endured my ignoring and disliking of him, and then took advantage of the weekend when everyone was away to get his revenge. However, it would be a mistake for <Jerome> to think that he had beaten me just by whipping me a couple of times with that damn riding crop.

I wiped my face clean with a towel and rolled up my sweater sleeves to my elbows. As I crouched under the sink, my back and thighs stretched, and the places where I had been hit became hot and swollen. Ignoring the pain, I started to remove the pipe from under the sink. Because I had been in charge of most of the housework since I was young due to growing up in a single-parent family, removing this damn sink pipe with my bare hands was not a problem at all. After removing the sturdy metal pipe, I gripped it tightly and opened the bathroom door.

<Jerome> was still sitting in front of the fireplace whose fire no longer burned. He was staring blankly out the window, with the riding crop on his thigh and his fingertips together. I strode up to him.

<Jerome> asked without even looking back.

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There was no need to answer. I hit <Jerome>'s shoulder with all my might using the pipe. If I could, I intended to break his shoulder blade. However, <Jerome> narrowly avoided the pipe by throwing his body to the floor. How? I looked at <Jerome> in surprise. And I realized that my reflection was clearly visible in the window in front of me.

<Jerome>, who had barely avoided it, was still unable to get up from the floor. I quickly climbed over the sofa and swung the pipe again. <Jerome> pulled his ass back to avoid the pipe and picked up the riding crop that had fallen to the floor and swung it. I also leaped back to avoid the crop. <Jerome> took that opportunity to get to his feet.

Unexpectedly, <Jerome> burst into loud laughter.

<Ha, hahahaha! Hahahaha

I gripped the pipe tightly and glared at him.

<Jerome> looked at me with a grinning face. He said in a cheerful tone.

I cursed.

<Jerome> raised his hands. He showed me his palms and slowly walked out of the room.

I called out to him as he opened the door.

<Jerome> grinned and took the key out of his pocket. He demonstratively dropped the key on the floor and left the room. As soon as he left the room, my body went limp and I sank to the floor. It was just as George had said. Even if they seemed ordinary, there was no one in this school who was actually ordinary.

I didn't even eat dinner that day. I stayed holed up in my room the whole time. Around Sunday noon, I finally felt like going out of the room.

<Jerome> was nowhere to be seen. Surprisingly, the first one to return to the dormitory was Simon. Simon returned to the room when I was sitting on the bed after having lunch. I was sitting blankly, unable to lie on my stomach or back due to being whipped on my back and the front of my thighs.

Simon, who entered the room in a neat suit, greeted me.

<Hey.>

<Hey. Did you have a good trip?>

<Yeah. It went smoothly. How about you?>

Simon asked as he took off his jacket and hung it on a hanger.

For a moment, I pondered whether I should tell him about <Jerome>, but ultimately decided not to. It was because I didn't know the relationship between <Jerome> and Simon well yet.
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<I was fine too. It was quiet and nice.>

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Good to Know

Thoreau's <Walden.> : Walden is a book by American transcendentalist writer Henry David Thoreau. The text is a reflection upon the author's simple living in natural surroundings.

Grandes écoles : In french it means the 'big schools'

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