Felipe de la Maza and the Legendary Lost City of Tulubarawah
Table of Contents
Chapter I
Black Flag Tavern, Port Royal
"Felipe are you sure this is the place? This seems quite uninspired for such a legendary establishment" said my friend and fellow Fantasman, Fabio de Oliveria.
"I am quite certain, my dear brother. It says the name above."
The Black Flag Tavern: Room and Board reads the sign above
"No too sure, Compadre, sure does not seem like it.. OI wait hombre!" I walk into the Tavern
The tavern is quite empty except for a bunch of shanty seadogs that have seen better days. Was this really the famed Black Flag everyone in the K.A.G. was talking about?
A friendly voice came from one of the tables "Ahoy there, welcome t' th' Black Flag. Care fer a barrel o' rum o' Rum t' cool ye off this swelterin' night, or how about a game o' cards?"
What in Reimu's name is he saying, might as well roll with it
"I'll take a some Rum on the rocks." Fabio comes in "I will too!"
We both sit down across from this buccaneer. He has a long brown beard and is missing an eye and an ear. His teeth are rotting but he has a friendly look on his face. This man has certainly seen life. I put out my hand to shake it and he replies with his hook. Damn, this man has seen a lot
"Th' name be Philips. Jack Philips, but they be knowin' me as Handsome Jack aroun' these parts. Nice t' be ye two lads."
"Aye and the same to you. I am Felipe de la Maza and this is my brother, Fabio de Oliveria
"Pleasure t' meet ye Fabio"
"Same to thee, Handsome Jack"
"What be ye two lads doin' here on a night like this when there be countless better places aroun' town?"
I look at Fabio before saying "Yes, we work for the K.A.G. and have been sent here because we have been told that this is the place to come in these lands to find out about legends."
"th' K.A.G.? why I thought ye lads were better than bein' part o' them crooks! Ahahaha, Just pullin' yer leg bucko. ye have certainly come t' th' right place!"
Our rum comes and we all take a swig, tastes brilliant
"What be ye two chasin' aft? th' City o' Gold! Fountain o' Uuooh? El Blanco?"
"Nay" says Fabio "We're looking for a magical place called Tulubarawah, you heard of it."
With a might laugh, Jack replies "I ain't just heard o' it, me lubber, I have seen it with me own two eyes! What a beautiful place she were bein', tis unfortunate that I forgot whar she be... But I be knowin' a pair o' fellers who might be knowin' whar she be!"
"Well, where can we find them." I said with anticipation.
"They be a couple towns o'er, in Martinstowne. I can take ye t' meet them tomorrow if ye wish. I would love t' see Tulubarawah again me laddies."
"Sounds like a plan there, Handsome Jack." I replied.
"Aye, let us toast fer good fortune, lots o' booty and calm tides then, yea?"
"Cheers" said myself and Fabio.
The rest of the night, Jack told us all kinds of stories about this mythical place. It seemed too good to be true, but this was our job after all. Around 2 in the morning, we went to sleep in the cots, ready to join Jack to fetch his friends.
Chapter II
The Buccaneer's Booty, Martinstowne
We arrived in Martinstowne the next evening. Handsome Jack talked up a storm the whole way. He is quite the interesting fellow, and has a lot of tales to tell, that's for sure. Martinstowne is a rather small fishing village, with no more than 150 residents i reckon. There was one Tavern in the whole town, a rather shanty looking place named The Buccaneer's Booty.
"This here be th' place, me laddies. Me good barnacle-covered pals, "Wiley Billy" Smith, "Gentleman George" Blackmore, and "Rusty" Joe Armstead should be here. A fine time it will be t' see them again!" Jack told us.
We entered the place, and it's interior was as rundown as it's exterior. Broken glasses, and tables were across the floor, the mirror in behind the bar was shattered and much of the place was in disrepair. Sitting near the bar, sat three men playing dice. An argument seemed to be underway between them over something.
"That be the last time you rob me blind you thieve' rat, Wiley!" shouted one of the men.
"You doubt me honesty in me dealing again there, Rusty? Well I ain't one for the slander. If it's a fight you wish, bring er on!"
"Gentlemen, there is no reason to spill blood over a game of dice! Will you please calm down, we are all friends here after all?"
"AHH SHUT UP, you good for nothing craven-"
"Maties! It be good t' see ye ha'nae change one bit since we last met! Yo-ho-ho! Let's settle down and have a barrel o' rum, shall we?"
"Be that you, Handsome Jack? Aww, me old mate, come and join us!" said Wiley Billy
"Quite, who are these kindly looking gentlemen with you, Jack?"
"These laddies be me new maties; Felipe and Fabio! Come join us buckos!"
We all gather round the table and exchange pleasantries. Each one of these men are rather unique in their appearance and manner of speech. The one who is called Gentleman George is dressed like a dandy. He has a slender musclar build and is about 1.8 metres tall. Wearing a powdered wig, a red petticoat with gold and white trims and a feathered hat, he is well-spoken and quite out of place amongst all of us. "Rusty" gives off the look of a classic old sailor. A rather short and stout man, he talks with a deep voice and has a rather mean appearance. His tattered clothes tell us all we need to know about this old seadog. But the most impressive of them all was "Wiley Billy". Tall, muscular and handsome, he looked every bit the pirate captain and talked like one too with his commanding voice. He wears a black overcoat with gold trim, big black tricorn and white pantaloons. While not being the dandy that George is, Billy certainly looks like a made man.
"Tell us boys, what brings ye here to this bottom of the barrel town" says Billy.
"Aye, we are looking for the Lost City of Tulubarawah and met your friend, Jack here who directed us to find you here." I replied.
"Thee Lost City of Tulubarawah, ah yes, quite the sight she was, right boys. Wouldn't mind taking a gander at her again myself."
"Something I can agree on with you, Georgie!" said Rusty
"As me messmates said, and I do believe Jackie said too, we been there before. But my question to ye is why ought we help ya get there ya landlubbers? What's in it for us?" said Billy with a scowl.
Fabio and I look at each other before I say "We do not know what riches lay in that city nor whether or not it exists but you take us there, hombre, and we will personally see to it that the KAG provides you with ample treasures for it. A new boat for you, perhaps is on the table".
Rusty looked like he had seen a ghost when I said that, while George and Billy looked at us with a bit of scepticism as if we were there to con them! Out of all the times that bloody Handsome Jack couldn't speak up, it had to be now!
"What kind of fools do ye take us for? I ain't fallin' for such fisherman tales! Jackie, you tryi-"
"Hold there a minute, Dear Bill. You two work for the K.A.G. correct? Show us your certificates please"
Fabio and I both show them our certificates to them. Rusty clearly has no idea what these things are and neither does Billy nor Jack but George picks both of them up. He then pulls out something from his pocket, it's another certification from the KAG that is rather weathered and stained. With a manifying glass, he looks over it "Hmm, these things certainly are the real documents."
"Whaddya mean George, what tells ye that?" gnawled Billy as Rusty and Jack both enter their own conversation.
"Well, Bill, it's quite simple. These parchments were emblazened with the seal of the Kaiserlich Privilegierte Abendländische Gesellschaft."
"What in the name of God does that even mean? The what?" stammered Billy.
"The K.A.G., these are genuine proof that they are employees on the company."
"Ah wait" says Fabio "If you need more proof, here is our orders from the head honchos themselves!"
George takes a look "Would you look at that."
"Look at what, I couldn't give a rat's ass if these lads were the Kings of Pomerania, what does that mean to us?"
"Bill, you ignorant fool. These men can make these promises to us for a new vessel because they have the authority to. Pointing at me This one here has that power, which is why he said it."
"Well, bend me over and call me Sally!"
"Just a moment Bill, one question to you two gentlemen. Can we get this in writing about your promises."
"Yes, I would rather talk over the precises details of said agreement late-"
George pounds his hand on the table in anger. "No, you will talk with me and Bill now. I may appear to be a pompous fool to company men as yourselves wipes himself off with a hankerchief, but I understand how business works. We will make terms now."
"Very well, I just was not certain what we could promise at this point specifically given we really do not know what we are getting from your end of the deal."
"Our end of the deal is rather simple, we will take you to this place you are looking for, and for that we will be paid in some form now."
Ugh, this man is like a one of them asshole bureaucrats back in Suzuhara! "Fine, let us talk"
We spend the next 2 hours going over the terms. Both Billy and Fabio ended up ditching us to join with the other two for dice 10 minutes in and I swore at one point they all nearly got into a fight. But after writing up 10 pages of by-laws and clauses to this agreement, I was finally able to make a deal. I was totally exhausted but I made it through and made a good deal for the company and for them. I shook hands with George and he spoke up.
"Gentlemen, the deal is done and sealed. Tomorrow, we shall set forth for Tulubarawah at daybreak chaps."
"What diddya agree to George?" said Billy
"I will inform you later, let us have a pint and rest. It was a long process after all!"
Jack comes up and puts his arms around us shouting as if he didn't listen "I say we celebrate, a bottle o' rum fer everyone here tonight!"
The 20 other men there, including us, all cheered except Billy who walked up to Jack and said.
"Well, Jackie, I guess ye be payin' for all of this."
Jack, a bit flustered said with a grin "Was hopin' ye would be payin' mate, haha!"
Billy, with a bit of a smile said "I ought to Keelhaul' ya for all the times ye pulled me britches over me head like this, but I love ya Jackie. It's on me."
The cheering resumed and we all drank until we were bottoms up that night.
Chapter III
The Dysentery Hills
It has been 3 weeks since we began our journey from Martinstowne in search of the lost city. It has been a rather wet and humid experience, with many storms come in and out of the area. The posh clothing of George was ruined about a week ago when he tripped into a mud pile, much to the bemusement of the lads. We rode up into the spot called the "Dysentery Hills" be the locals. When I asked why it was called this to Jack he replied with a quite humorous tale.
ye want t' be knowin' why these be called th' dysentery hills lads, avast? A long time ago, a grand and fancy army from th' Caliphate were bein' marchin' down t' conquer Port Royale. It were bein' all good fer al-Muzzammil until he reached these hills. ye see that creek down there; it be infested with all sorts o' nasty bugs and critters that will give ye diaherra fer weeks I'd reckon. It just so happened them Watermelon lovers drank and drank from th' sweet water o' that creek, that we call Sweet Death Creek and thousands o' them ended up catchin' dysentery and all kinds o' illnesses in short order. Boy, i'd be tellin' ye, wouldn't have been a bitter day t' sell some o' them awful newspapers that we used t' wipe rears with t' them folk hahahaha. But, back on target, most o' th' army ended up shittin' their pants off and dyin', includin' th' Caliph himself ahahhahahaha. Ah well, dern't ye laddie drink frome it ye hear?
Instead, we made forth for Bitter Life Creek, around a good four furlongs from the Sweet Death Creek. 'Twas about half till sundown when we ran into some traders from the Serene Republic, drinking from the Sweet Death Creek.
"Laddies, what in the name of Marine and all that's unholy are you peckerheads drinking from that water there for! It'd kill ya!" scream Billy at them.
In a posh accent, the trader replied "What would you know you uncouth swineherders about water? This right here is the Fountain of Wealth, didn't you know?" Cocking his gun "Now, you best keep away before I blow you to kingdom come you fools!"
The boys were about to fight when I waved them off "Amigo, we don't want any of that water. You can have it all. But there is 12 of us to a good 6 of you. I think we could take you in a fight if we so desired, so let's make a deal. You give us all the rum you are carrying and you can take all of that water you want."
"Twelve of you? Well, though I am sure that I we could all wipe you clean off this planet in seconds, I think we will make this trade. You have yourself a deal, we will give you these barrels of Rum and you will give us this water that we will load up and forth towards the Most Serene Republic."
"Deal mate."
These fools seriously gave away all of their rum for that water, ha, the good old shadow bluff worked well. We loaded up the rum and made our way. We were just nearly out of sight when we heard the groans of the traders shitting themselves from the water, funniest thing I have every heard was them in the distance.
"Oh dear... why do i feel so sick? OH NO AHHHHHHHH"
We all gathered around a fire that night and had a jolly good laugh at the expense of those arrogant bastards. The tide was high and we were all warmin' up to each other. 'Twas only 500 leagues from the lost city, according to the map.