I GOT THE FUCKING JOB

NOBODY TALK TO ME

SEND ME MAIL!
Atabook + Strawpage (NEW!!!!)
what i'm currently listening to:

02/19/2026 — Kain
Complete wipeout. Decided to restart this.

Tallulah passed, and I held her the entire time as they were putting her to sleep. In the end, nothing could be done for her—her injury had gotten too bad that even the surgery wasn't going to save her at that point. I really miss her. I miss waking up to the jingling of her toys at 7 in the morning. I miss getting all cranky and annoyed at my Mom for turning on the light when she entered my room to check on Tallulah in the morning. I miss when I'd sit up in my bed and Tallulah would immediately crawl over to me and lie in my lap. I miss letting her scratch and bite my hand. I miss lying on my side just for her to crawl onto me and rest on the side of my torso. I miss witnessing her zoom back and forth between her window bed and the pillows beneath it. I miss the way she'd claw at the pamper underneath her food and water bowl after she'd finish eating, as if that was her way of saying "I'm done, I don't want any more."

I miss my daughter. I wish she could've stayed with me longer. But I'm glad I was there to hold her. She was so scared—Not because she knew she was dying, I don't think she was aware. She was scared because of the enviroment. She's not used to new places or people. I hope she can handle it where she is now, I know she's going to meet a lot of new people. I just hope she doesn't forget me. I hope she understands. We didn't want her to suffer. We can't do that to her.

I really do miss you, Tally. I wish you'd come back to me. You were so happy and so energetic all of the time. So clingy and loving. You didn't even care about your wound—all you cared about was me. I love you. I'm so sorry.

Diary archives & messages to Tallulah

03/01/2026 — Mesmer
Hello...long time no see! A lot has happened within this past week...almost two. A lot. I won't get too deep into it because I know the internet just cannot be trusted with all of that. My Atabook would be riddled with weird freaks trying to be funny. Anyway. I will mention one thing that happened...

(Ex)-Friend turned out to be a predator and an abuser? You will be hung. God bless.

Moving on.

Wait.
Photo dump incoming.



I got a lot of URLs recently that I can't even begin to list them. Just view my notes here...Although, my favorites are /Deadmeat /G-IDLE /JFash /Shift /MEXE /Crib /Twister /Velocity /Rim /Detain /Heathen ...
Updated Atabooks as well! Two of them.
Contact me here orrrr maybe here?
I think that's all for now. Thanks thanks thanks!
Oh yeah hi ##### it's me your goated Mesmer (KJ).
I love my wives and my husbands by the way. Hi Rita Hi Lina Hi Lucia Hi Pierce Hi Hox let's all make out.

03/03/2026 — Mesmer
Watching The Long Walk with wife and husband will update once we're done...

Live comments: Here
My conclusion: I'm suicidal and it's all tjis movie's fault.

03/21/2026 — Anonymous
Maybe I'm going crazy but, despite my hardships I'm doing okay right now. I reunited with my best friend after over a year (Hi Robi!!!!) and I think that's what made me a lot calmer lately. I'm still struggling so much everyday, but—my partners, friends and doing the things that I love the most has distracted me from the things I couldn't let go before.

I'm starting to forget the faces of my old friends. And I think that's a good thing.

I'm tired of being paranoid all of the time, thinking, "What if they're talking badly about me right now?" and racing to pick up my phone so I can check to make sure I'm not being put on blast. However, I'm even starting to forget their socials. Forget their names. Everything about them. I've been living in nothing but pure bliss as of late, and for the first time since my childhood I can actually thank my memory loss for doing something good.

Put me on blast, talk shit about me all you want—I don't care anymore, nor will I ever care enough to pick up my phone one last time to check. I will always appreciate the good times I spent with those I've dropped, especially those moments full of laughter, but I never want to go back again. They can reach out to me, send me hatemail, send me an apology, or do whatever they want with my name. In the end, things will stay the same for me. I'll stay in my lane of peace and comfort in myself, and I just hope they do the same for themselves.

I love everyone who loves me. I love everyone who hates me. Someday I will reach a point of eternal peace and this is just the start of it.

Makes me miss Toram Online a lot.

— Proxy
Bars(???)

Anyway...Hello, Kore and Dasya! My loves in every universe, every timeline and forever! Guys, can we play Blair soon?...Please?
I traded /Wendys for /Pantheress and /Beige. But Wendy's will forever live in my heart no matterhowDID YOU GUYS KNOW I FINALLY GOT AN INTERVIEW AT WENDY'S ON MONDAY? Iudex and Strange would be proud of me. All they know is work work work. Job job job. "Are you busy?" "No" "Get busy." They say. If you tell Strange you're depressed he'll pull you into his workshop in 10 seconds and make you engage in hard labor for weeks while simultaneously giving you amazing life lessons and therapy. I think that cancels out the hard labor part. I love that old man even if we don't talk much. I haven't talked to anyone else in the system, actually...except for him. One time. I've just been isolated in some other part with [[HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED]] and "Big E". Big E is long gone now, though. I haven't seen him in forever...I'm all alone. Someone should just stab me over and over again until I'm unrecognizable.

Goodnight.

03/22/2026 — Anonymous
being out here is really odd because everyone's so nice to me. I'm not used to this treatment whatsoever. It's confusing. not that i mind it but, I just don't understand what about me makes me even slightly likable? I don't know. i feel like i'm going crazy or something. How do i even properly accept that? all i know is to say sorry a bunch of times and a few "thank you"s.

i can't even bring myself to say "i love you" because what if this treatment cuts off as something simply casual? What if nobody wants that love from me? besides, i don't know if i'm one who deserves any type of love.
...never-mind. As i was writing that, Andre told me he loved me. lol. Maybe the universe is telling me something. i wish i could know what in specific it's trying to tell me, however, clearly it's something good.

03/25/2026 — Kain + Proxy + Lin
Who fucking cares??? Bitch, I got the FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!! NOBODY CONTACT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goodbye.
Yay!! :)) We'll finally get to buy our own groceries soon. Financial struggle era will leave our life some day...
YOU CLASSIST BITCHES ARE EVIL AND YOU NEED TO BE DESTROYED!!
hello!!!! here is my roblox avatar i have created earlier:

hangyodon is my baby i give birth to him many eons ago! domi is badtz, pierce is cinna, rita is kitty, lucia is kuromi, lina is melody, kj is gudetama, maelo is pochacco, kain is purin, proxy is chococat, andre is keroppi! based off personality and other secret attributes...

Messages from friends & partners
Hello. Lucia here! I love Kain! ♥︎ <~ Kain sent a kiss!

haii :3 its yumi ! i miss you so much i hope you're doing well, take good care of yourself and eat lots of wendys for me. miss u lots xo <~ oh trust and believe they're going to run out of baconator fries the way im wiping them off the Shelves ... also WE LOVE AND MISS U TOO! — Lottie

hello! it's ya favorite devil, ronin. i hope ya are Doing Alright :).. i Miss you and i hope ya are taking good care of yourself! 'm not so good with this comforting and platonic stuff, so for short: ya better take Care of yourself and Come back happy. i Miss you ! <~ Thank you for this warm message, Ronin! We miss you and your Rangel rants. Sometimes, when we're on Discord for Rentry stuff, we like to briefly peek into you and Yumi's (plus occasionally a few others) channels in SLHL...Congratulations on commisioning the official Ronin & Angel VA's! ^^ — Daniela

Hiiii sweetheart, it's Pierce :3 Just leaving this here so you forever know how much I love you! You're so beautiful to me, and that will never change. You are near and dear to my heart, and I absolutely adore you. <~ I LOVE YOU BABY MWAH MWAH MWAAAAHHHH I MISS YOU BUM

Hi its me. Ur dumb boyfriend who gave u these pictures I hope u like them. I like u. A whoooooooole lot. Dare I say... I love you. MWAH <~ I love you more Pierce! I miss you.