Once the Snow Melts (Event Story)
Chapter 5: Snowy Day
Kamira: Here, Hikarin. Have some tissues.
Hikari: Thank ya kindly.
Hehehe… I must’ve shown you an embarrassing side of mine.
Kamira: … That was inconsiderate of us, wasn’t it.
We should’ve known that even you have some things that can’t be told.
Hikari: … No, it’s okay.
I’m grateful that you’re worried about me.
It’s just as she said.
My worry is not for something huge at all, and I know about it very well.
Kamira: … That ain’t true at all.
Hikari: No, I meant my word.
I’m sure you’ll laugh once I talk about it, Kamira-chan.
It’s my fault that the matter became this big.
I thought being troubled felt so unlike me, so I’ve been holding ‘em for a while.
… If I talked about it right away… I wonder if things would be different than now.
Kamira: Bein’ honest… No one can tell about that.
Even for my case, I wondered if I should do the otherwise since then.
Say, Hikarin.
… Can you.. Tell more ‘bout what happened back then?
Kamira: Back on that snowy day.. Why did you make such a face?
You seemed sad… Or maybe more like… You’re forcing yourself…?
Hikari: ……
Kamira: Ah– No pressure!
It’s totally fine if you don’t want to talk! I must’ve bothered you! I’m sorry!
It’s that– If possible, I wanna try to help as much as I can,
So I got carried away to ask about some stuff, but I–
Hikari: … No, I’ll talk about it.
…… It’s really, not something huge to worry about.
It’s that… There’s a video comment that made me curious. And that’s about it.
Kamira: Ah… The comments, huh.
Our vids got quite popular, and means there’ll be non-subscribers to view as well.
I don’t think one can keep up with the amount,
But with more kinds of viewers, it’s true that some can just say whatever they like…
So then, it’s somethin’ like… A part of them made you curious?
Hikari: … Mhm. From our autumn try to dance video,
They said that my movements are spacious, and they stand too much when compared to the other two.
Kamira: Wha…?
… Standing too much they said? To Hikarin?
No-no-no–! Definitely ain’t true at all!
And we’re speaking as the ones who danced beside her. Not a single thought of that at all!
Pretty sure they’re writing that comment on a whim.
Also, I’m sure our subscribers won’t be sayin’ that. Those passers will just–
Hikari: Yeah. … I know that well.
I never want to stand too much, and I know the both of you will get it.
And I know that every of our viewers doesn’t think so.
Kamira: You’ve said it!
You shouldn’t give a damn to those kinds of pointless comments, Hikarin!
Hikari: Right. That should be the right thing.
I know about that. …… I know about that.
Hikari: Even so… It bothered my mind. I can’t ever let it away.
Even during that snowy day… I wondered if the thing they said was true.
Kamira: ……
Hikari: So yeah, that’s the only thing. Really.
It sounds like a joke, doesn’t it. I’m sorry to make you worried over nothing.
Kamira: ……
No, I am the bad one here. You don’t have to feel guilty about it.
It’s such insensitive of me to say the thing as ‘pointless’, even though you’re hurtin’ this much.
Hikari: No, I get it. I also see the thing as ‘pointless’.
Kamira: But if I’m bein’ honest, perhaps I’ll be as anxious when someone did that to me.
Like maybe I’ll struggle to do somethin’ once getting that kind of comment.
Hikari: Hehehe… Thanks.
… Why is that you’ll be scared, even when you know the ‘truth’.
Kamira: Even when you know the ‘truth’?
Hikari: Yeah. Like, I know that our viewers are all very kind.
Which means most of them won’t be sayin’ things to hurt me.
But then, once I thought to stream, my hands were trembling.
Even when I don’t want the others to worry, even when I want to say that I’m doing fine,
My strongest wish was, “I don’t want to feel hurt” .
Even when I know that everyone’s been waiting for me, I always ended up to hide and ran away.
… I even did that to Xue who’s worried for me. I acted as if we’re not knowing each other.
But, the fact that… I still didn’t apologize to anyone.
I’m always, and always, running away. I only think of what’s the best for me.
I’m really such… A selfish one.
I’m sorry, for showing you such a sad face. It’s not so “Yonaguni Hikari” of me, isn’t it.
Kamira: That’s not true–
Hikari: Both to keep hiding and having such a problem. That’s so unlike me.
I know about that. Xue really spoke all the truth of me.
After all, I did things that were so unlike me.
Even though I know it didn’t go well. … I have no clue what to do.
I’m supposed to be “Yonaguni Hikari”,
But for now, I’m not like the usual “Yonaguni Hikari”.
Hey, Kamira-chan.
I wonder. What does it mean to be like myself? … Or rather, to be like “Yonaguni Hikari” ?
Xue: Aargh……
That moron– She’s really out of my head!
Right at the moment when I’m worried about her,
The only thing she could say was “Xue won’t get it” ……
It’s not like I asked to hurt her more.
I am the one who’s not getting it! So not like her at all!
(I didn’t expect that Hikari could be so hot-headed.
… That was also my first time seeing her crying like that.)
… Even though I’m supposed to be worried when someone is troubled.
At the end I was so frustrated and went away from there,
What am I now, a child…?
… And those should explain it. Should I return,
It’s too late and I’m sure Hikari won’t even bother to look at me.
“Just a Xue is not enough to solve every single of my problems” , she said…
……
Ramona: Oh hey, it’s Xue. Welcome back.
What’s wrong? You seem not doing well.
Xue: … Hmph. This is none of your business.
Better not to think about it.
Ramona: Hey now, don’t make the distance.
Who knows if it turns out that you need my help?
Xue: Oh shut it. I said that it’s none of your business.
No more hush. Back to your seat.
Ramona: Nuh-uh. No to none of my business.
Also am I still Ramona Wolf if I let my friend in a bad situation?
Xue: How many times should I say that you can’t just blend yourself in everything?
It’s annoying! I also missed my dinner just when I’m about to be treated.
Ramona: Ah, so you’re not getting dinner? Well what a coincidence!
I actually also thought about having one.
Xue: Why you…!!
Ramona: Xue.
You may not’ve noticed this, but you seem kinda too sad to me.
Xue: … Huh?
Ramona: If you really want me to leave, then I’ll make my leave.
But if you want to tell the matter, then I’ll be listening for as long as you want.
So, which choice will you take?
Xue: ……