Apprehended: Cyndaquil

by Phanpy-anon
Based on this art by Anonymous

>Be me
>Special Agent Gardevoir, G-007
>License to kill
>Member of the Secret Federation Forces
>Tasked with monitoring any and all human activities in Capim Town
>Despite saving the world numerous times, humans always made a mess of things
>Breaking into tombs and destroying ancient relics
>Thousands of Poke worth of merchandise stolen with Trawl Orbs
>Someone had to clean up the damage
>That’s where I came in
>Be surprised when an entire guild of humans arrives
>HQ says to ‘keep an eye on them’
>As if I can shadow dozens of humans
>Spend my time watching their guild hall

>Be me, a few months later
>More humans have arrived
>They cause mayhem
>One of them, a Meowth, keeps conning the local Pokemon
>One of the teams started a huge forest fire
>HQ is pissed at me
>Tell HQ to send more agents
>They oblige and say to start ‘taking care’ of the humans
>If they can’t be brought into custody, dispose of them
>Oh God
>HQ says to start with the psychics
>Oh fuck

>Be me, post bloodbath
>Human guild is mostly rounded up
>Some Ribombee and Sneasel team managed to escape
>We got the rest
>Either in jail, or in the ground
>A few natives in the guild got roped into the purge
>Get a ‘promotion’ for my work
>Stuck guarding the humans
>Most of the captured ones were docile
>All but one

>Be walking through the jail
>Maximum security Federation prison
>Pass by the Cyndaquil’s cell
>He calls out to me
>”Hey Gardy! Are you sure you don’t want to come in here? I’ve been a very naughty boy!”
>Not this shit again
>I respond
“If I have to come in there, I’m going to paint the walls with your gray matter.”
>”I didn’t peg you as a lady into guro, but I can swing it.”
>No idea what ‘goo-ro’ is.
>Remember seeing the Muchlax chef of the guild make something the humans called ‘gyros’
>Why was Cyndaquil talking about food?
“If you want gyros, we don’t have any. If you’re hungry you’ll have to wait for the designated meal times.”
>”I’m not hungry, I’m thirsty. Desperately thirsty.”
>I walk over to check his cell
>His water bucket is full
>What?
>He keeps talking
>”So does the skirt come off, or is it part of your body?”
>Wish that HQ would let us liquidate the humans
>HQ wants to keep a few in reserve incase a world ending threat appeared
>But would they miss one?
“I have been authorized to kill you if necessary.”
>The Cyndaquil lies flat on the floor, looking up at me
>Is he going to beg for mercy?
>”I see there’s a part in the front for easy access. Can you come a little closer? I can almost see up your skirt.”
>Quickly take a step back
>I look at the other cells
>None of them seem phased by this
>Walk over to an Oshawott and point at him
“Has that Cyndaquil always been like this?”
>Oshawott nods
“If you don’t get him to stop, I’m throwing you into his cell.”
>Oshawott thought for a moment before replying
>”That’s impossible.”
“Then you’re sharing a cell with him.”
>”I refuse. I’d rather face the wall than share a cell with him.”
>There’s no way I could explain losing two humans to HQ
>Fuck
>Cyndaquil wins this round

>Be me, and have a plan
>Cyndaquil let slip he had a crippling fear of being restrained
>Jackpot
>Purchase a length of rope and a scarf
>HQ would look the other way on a little torture
>Barge into Cyndaquil’s cell
>He doesn’t resist as I tie him up
“Not so tough now, are you? Filthy human!”
>It was hard to read his expression
>Stupid Cyndaquils and their beady eyes
>Not racist, just don’t like ‘em
>Finally he speaks
>”You think this’ll scare me? I can take whatever punishments you have in store for me!”
>So he wanted to do this the hard way
>Blindfold him and throw him onto the ground
>”Yes! Step on me Mistress!”
>What
>Hear the Oshawott from across the hall
>”If you’ve decided to get kinky with Cyndaquil, can you please take it somewhere else?”
>Hear murmurs of agreement from the other prisoners
>Kinky?
>Look back at Cyndaquil
>He’s blushing bright red
>He’s breathing heavily
>Fuck

>Be me, a fresh face in Post Town
>The prisoners blabbed to the other guards
>Coworkers started calling me ‘Mistress’
>Not dealing with that
>Quit
>No more secret agent for me
>Looking for work on the other side of the planet
>Meet up with some Honchkrow
>He wants to start an exploration team
>Said he blacked out while with his last team
>Woke up on a boat to the Mist Continent
>Probably bullshit, but I couldn’t be picky
>Agree to adventure with him
>He tips his hat when I do so
>Must be a Honchkrow thing
>We take a rescue request
>Keeps talking about Legendary Pokemon
>He wants to kill them
>Says it’ll usher in the age of science and atheism
>Whatever
>Carry him through the dungeon easily
>He tries to awkwardly flirt on the way back
>Tells me about his favorite ‘an-e-mays’
>Reminded of the humans in Capim Town
>Panic
>Was I cursed?
>Would every Pokemon I meet from now on be a human?
>Try to ignore Honchkrow talking about Bocchi the something or other
>Old instincts kick in
>I should stick around
>Just in case he’s like that guild
>I couldn’t live with myself if I let a human walk around unsupervised
>What if he was like Cyndaquil?
>I shuddered
>Like it or not, I was qualified for this job
>Pretend to be interested in whatever he’s talking about now
>He seems happy
>He wraps a wing around me
>Fuck