Anonthrostate
This is a shitpost, please don't take anything but the last line seriously
You paced around your one-bedroom loft, peering at the computer screen occasionally. It showed a simple forum page, one dedicated to Peruvian butter-churning among other esoteric hobbies. As usual, you had navigated through the vaguely labeled subforums until you found your usual stomping grounds. One particular thread among the many there being like a second home to you. The people inside were like friends and, sometimes, family, as you bantered back and forth and shared your interests and lives with each other. It wasn't perfect, but it was your slice of heaven in the pits of hell.
So, when one day you arrived to find that your post from last night was also the most recent, you felt that old dread creeping up your back again. What had once been a safe haven from the harsh reality of the outside world had quickly become a mirror. And you didn't like what was reflected back at you in the slightest. The horrid specter of inevitability held you by the shoulder, inviting you into the abyss. As you sat back down and looked at the users in this thread you started to wonder where they had all gone.
Though, even if you didn't want to admit it, you already knew.
One user had posted about his favorite collection of old-world rifles. They were as close to working condition as he was legally allowed to keep them, but through the photos he posted, each one seemed as clean and pristine as the day it rolled off the assembly line. You remembered calling bullshit, telling him that his cosplay toys were nice but in no way the real thing. His response was to upload a video of him making a couple of modifications and shooting some cans in the middle of what looked like a snowy mountain range. His gleeful smile and the deafening BOOM of the gunpowder artifact was enough to make you eat your words that day. With no small amount of begrudging respect, you gave the rifle aficionado your apologies and respect. You went to click the link leading to the video, but sure enough he had deleted it shortly after. Just as well, since he hadn't been on in a year the video would have been taken down anyways.
Another user boasted about his "4D chess plan" to game the system, moving into an herbivore neighborhood in homes of avoiding things. The user and you enjoyed your brand of xenophobic shitposting, and he'd tell stories about his life growing up in the country. You weren't too sure about what he did in his free time, but you noticed that his weekend posting was a lot more lively and a lot less coherent. You guessed that he was either a heavy drinker or regularly had strokes. Maybe both, since it seems he stopped posting altogether one weekend after saying "I've got this, guys. I've worked too hard to fuck up now." in some vague post that never got explained.
Yet another user openly complained about the bullshit you all had to go through, and how any of it could have been avoided. His ideas were always a bit on the crazy side, going on about staging a coup and simply going in with guns blazing. You'd always tell him that he'd pussy out and that you'd see him next week. Or that he should stop watching those old films so often. He'd tell you that of COURSE you'd see him next weekend because he's right about all of this. And that he was so far in the woods that it'd be impressive if they ever found out where he was posting from. You guessed that he was in some bunker, living off of canned beans and huffing rat farts through a respirator under the comfy shade of his tinfoil hat. Now you wish you had joined him, so that you could at least know where he's been in the last few weeks. Though, with how much he talked about actual felonies, that one might have just been him having a meltdown and getting arrested properly. The frantic, last-minute paragraph before he went dark, however, painted a different picture you'd rather not dwell on.
These three, along with many more who eventually faded away, were the closest thing you had to friends. They knew about you the most, and you shared more of your actual feelings with these nameless losers than you probably had with your actual relatives. And yet, each one eventually disappeared never posting again. It didn't take a detective to figure out what happened. You wished you were wrong, but the pattern played out too often to ignore.
Sometimes one would come back with a dramatically changed attitude, talking about how they were completely wrong about things. They'd go on long rants about how easy it was to adjust, or how nice "she" actually is. Some of them would even post pictures of their marks, saying how it'd only hurt for a second. You tried to ignore the familiar-looking rifle in the background of one of those photos, as well as the same giddy smile on that guy's face. Surely it couldn't have been him, right? They'd have taken his guns, right?
He couldn't have been that happy, right?
You pulled yourself away from the spiral and thousand-yard stare past your screen when a series of knocks broke the silence. You ignored them, dread running down your spine and your blood turning to ice. You slowly made your way away from the door, clutching your baseball bat. A voice, gruff and feminine, shouted through it.
"Ano Nemo Nemus, you've been avoiding your marriage for several weeks now. Please come quietly, and we can assign you to your new wife."
No...
"Due to the series of concerning posts made within the last few months we've been authorized to seize you ,by force if necessary, as you are considered a potential threat!"
No! No not now! You duck behind the counter, unsure of where else to run.
"This is your last chance to come peacefully, before we come in to retrieve you!"
There was a moment of silence, where your hopes that they just left were shattered by the sound of a battering ram at your door. Your entire body stayed rooted to the spot, choosing neither flight or fight. More banging, and the voice continued, "We have you surrounded!"
The sound of the door breaking open, and several dozen boots on your living room floor.
"Come out and meet your new wife!"
The sound them getting closer was all you could hear, a steady roar of the inevitable. Sanity left you as the soldiers surrounded you. You could only repeat one phrase over and over.
YOU HATE THE ANTHROSTATE!!!!
YOU HATE THE ANTHROSTATE!!!!
YOU HATE THE ANTHROSTATE!!!!
YOU HATE THE ANTHROSTATE!!!!
YOU HATE THE ANTHROSTATE!!!!
YOU HATE THE ANTHROSTATE!!!!
Up next: Anon gets his rights violated by a sheep woman.