Kaiji and Kris in... Taliban Mystery Dungeon!
edit: remind me to come back and fix the atrocious formatting here when I finish up with my other stuff
It was nearly noon on the Grass Continent as two Pokémon made their way through a quiet forest, having set out early in the morning for the mountains on the other side. The duo were hunting down a group of bandits at the request of a Gumshoos who'd seen them passing by, after his village just outside the trees had been ransacked the previous evening and the villagers' most valuable items were stolen. Kaiji, an Alolan Meowth who used to be human, groaned as he set down his bag, slumping down against a tree to rest for a moment as the edge of the woods finally came into view. "I'm exhausted... how the hell did a damn Gothorita make it through these woods and up a mountain all in one day? Not to mention while carrying half the village's treasure..." The Meowth scratched his head. The Absol beside him sighed. "It's probably easier when you can carry things with telekinesis..." Kris was an Absol who had only recently become Kaiji's partner. His horn had been mostly broken off, the top two-thirds of the blade entirely missing from some sort of traumatic incident he'd always dodge questions about until Kaiji just gave up trying to find an answer. Like any other Absol, he had the ability to sense imminent disaster, but his predictions always seemed off... like they were some sort of metaphor he was taking too literally, or maybe they came to him too vague and he filled in the gaps himself. Kaiji suspected his broken horn had something to do with it, but didn't feel like pressing the issue.
Kris sat down across from him, before continuing. "...And for that matter, I think the Kirlia with them would be able to teleport." Kaiji rubbed his temples, already starting to tire of all their uninterrupted walking. "I don't care HOW they did it, I'm startin' to think all this walkin' ain't worth it." Kaiji dug a note out of his bag, refreshing himself on the details of the bandits they were after. "Let's see... A Gothorita, Kirlia, and Steenee, they fled up into the mountains, and took a bunch of junk they stole with them. Witnesses say they were blabbin' about some crazy stuff, using words they've never even heard, and talkin' about their god or somethin'... Sounds like the girls are in some sorta cult." Kris rolled his eyes, sighing as Kaiji tucked the note back into his bag. "I don't know how you can read any of that... all your writing looks like nonsense to me. You need to work on your handwriting..." Kaiji stretched his arms as he got up, starting to walk again. "I told you, it's, eh, detective shorthand. A chump like you wouldn't know how to read it." Kaiji shrugged as Kris started following behind him. He'd only barely been able to convince the Absol to keep it secret that he used to be a human (and he still wasn't sure the fox wouldn't just go running his mouth about it anyway, making anyone they meet think both of them are crazy), so telling him anything else (like that he can write in a human language that only other humans know) would be a liability, considering the naïve Absol was practically allergic to lying.
"You should really be walking faster..." The Absol said impatiently, as he passed up his partner. "There's no guarantee they'll still be there by the time we get up the mountain-" He huffed, picking up his pace. "-so we need to go as fast as we can manage." Kaiji, meanwhile, was starting to fall behind, walking along leisurely. "Relax, Kris, they aren't going anywhere. Take your time, or you're going to be exhausted when it's time to confront them." Kris turned his head back to look at Kaiji. "How can you be so sure?" The Meowth smirked, idly flipping a coin he produced with Pay Day as he walked. "You see, carrying all that stuff is no easy feat. Even if they had it all in bags, a couple of scrawny Pokémon like them would still struggle with the weight of it all. If they wanted to get away with it all before anyone could catch up to them, they would've had an easier time heading northeast where there wouldn't be much in their way... The only reason they'd come here to the mountains with that big load, is if they knew it was their final destination. They've probably got a hideout up there, because nobody in their right mind would lug that haul along through the whole mountain range."
Kris blinked, surprised his partner had put any thought into his answer at all. "That... does make a bit of sense. But the villagers said they'd never seen these Pokémon before, and they'd been unbothered here for years... Don't you think that the bandits would've struck in the past if they'd been living around here?" Kaiji, unfazed by Kris' concerns, snickered in response. "Think you know better than me, do you? Then how about we make it a bet? If we catch up to them and they already have a hideout or camp around here, then that means I was right and you have to walk around with 'idiot' written on your head." Kris frowned. "C-c'mon, that's... what about if I win?" Kaiji strolled on past his partner, who had stopped walking upon hearing the feline's proposal. "Big 'if'. If we don't find 'em by sundown, or they're still on the move and only set up a temporary camp to rest, then you won't have to lie about anything on my behalf anymore and you can still be my partner. Besides, you can see the future, right?" Kaiji chuckled, flicking the coin backwards over his shoulder. "So you should be totally sure about which one of us is right, it's a safe b-" "OW! Th-that hit my eye..." Kris whimpered, wincing after the coin hit his right eye, which he now kept shut tight.
Kaiji's palm quickly met his face, accompanied by a groan. "Talkin''boutseein'thefuturewhenyoucan'tevenseetwofeetinfronta'yerface..." The cat grumbled as he turned around to face Kris, more annoyed than concerned. "Look, you takin' the deal or not?" Kris looked down, hesitating for a moment as he thought it over. He'd already called an idiot enough by everyone he'd run into on account of his crazy predictions, and he was tired of others treating him like he wasn't "all there"... but on the other hand, Kaiji was the only Pokémon who'd wanted anything to do with him, and seeing as he had no other options, being able to forego all the lies and schemes he'd find himself dragged into without having to sacrifice the only Pokémon who'd put up with him sure seemed like it was worth trying for. "A-alright, I'll agree to your terms. But I get to wash it off once we leave the village!" Kaiji snickered once again. "Already planning on losing? Gee, you really are hopeless." He taunted, causing Kris to get all flustered. "H-hey, I didn't mean it like that! W-wait up!" The Dark-type ran ahead to catch up to Kaiji, who just laughed at his partner's expense as they finally reached the base of the mountain.
It had been hours now since the pair had begun their climb up the mountain, and they weren't even halfway up. The sun was only getting lower in the sky as they continued on, the ball of light already closely approaching the horizon. Kris' anxiety about the bet had been fading more and more as they got closer to sunset with no sign of the bandits. "It seems like I was right after all! Now that it's clear they haven't stopped, we should try and keep going through the night while they're asleep to give us a chance to actually catch- Ow! Q-quit it!" Kris was rudely interrupted as a coin hit the back of his head. He stopped, turning back to face his partner in annoyance, who had already stopped a few yards back without him noticing. "Three sets of tiny footprints." Kaiji pointed down at the ground, where a trail of footprints had come up from the forest through a different path than the one they'd taken, continuing on upwards towards a different part of the mountain. "Maybe if you weren't so busy celebrating early, you'd've noticed they didn't head that way." Kaiji taunted his partner, starting to follow the footprints up the path. Kris just sighed, hanging his head low and following along as he felt a pit forming in his stomach once more. "I-I'm sure they already passed through here a while ago, and we won't catch up to them until tomorrow..." He said, but he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than anyone else.
"Shh... quiet. Up there." After not even half an hour longer, Kaiji stopped and pointed to a cave up ahead. "It's lit up inside. That's gotta be them..." Kris looked nervously to the cave, then over at the horizon - the sun was still just shy of touching down. "K-Kaiji, I have a bad feeling about this..." The fox whimpered. "Yeah, yeah, cut the crap, a bet is a bet." Kaiji scoffed, reaching down into his bag to pull out a bottle of ink. "I-it's not that, it's-" Kris froze for a moment, wincing as he appeared to be focusing intently on a thought. Suddenly, he opened his eyes (well, only his left one) wide in a panic! "Th-their cruel god from beyond reality has sent them to slay us all! They're angel warriors that bring all great kingdoms to ruin!" Kris started running back and forth in a panic, while Kaiji just let out a long, exasperated sigh. "Enough with this crap, your predictions are always way off, and you always take them too damn literally! Some Absol you are..." Kris whimpered at the comment, but Kaiji continued. "Let's see, the most likely way to interpret that is that they were sent by some legendary warlord or somethin', and they see him as a god. If they're out robbing some random village, they can't actually be all that strong, so maybe a buncha fangirls who aren't actually 'in' with him yet, trying to impress him so they can join his army." Kaiji stroked his chin, before shrugging. "Now stay still, will ya? You aren't gettin' out of your end of the deal that easy."
"Wait, I'm serious! H-hey, let me go!" Kaiji had reached out and grabbed the panicking Absol, before dipping his finger in the ink and starting to write on the crest on his forehead. "I kind of forgot how to write the word for idiot in your language, but I think I've got it close enough..." Kaiji thought hard for a moment, before writing down what would loosely translate as "Doesn't, Believe, Truth" in Pokéspeak. "Damn it, woulda been a lot easier if you weren't all squirmy." Kaiji sighed as he finally let his partner go. "Whatever... we gotta go over our strategy first. Our typing's pretty good since they got two Psychic types, I'd say our best strategy is for you to use Fury Cutter on Gothorita, Steenee, and Kirlia in that order, offsetting the ones who'd take less damage from it or from my follow-up Assurance by saving 'em for last so it's all powered up. Our only real worry is if that Kirlia's got any Fairy-type moves on her..." Kaiji paced back and forth, stroking his chin some more. "We could go for her first, but if it turns out she wasn't as big a threat as we thought, then it'd probably be the least efficient order to tackle them..." Kris was dumbfounded. "A-are you even listening?! We can't go in there! They're too dangerous!" The Absol started backing away, looking at Kaiji like he was the insane one. "Relax, you always take your own predictions too damn seriously - and until a, quote, 'giant monster made of dice and cards' comes to eat me, I'm never gonna go with your interpretation." Kaiji shook his head disapprovingly. "Now c'mon, they're probably just a buncha wannabes like I said. Attack the leader first, and the other two will pussy out and go down easy." Kaiji started to drag Kris along as he walked confidently towards the entrance of the cave.
Kaiji strutted into the cave, head held high as he protracted his claws. "Alright, ladies, we can do this the easy way, or the-" Kaiji's pompous introduction was interrupted as the Gothorita turned from "her" conversation beside the campfire with the other two thieves to face him. "BROTHERS, A DEMON HAS BREACHED THE CAVE! ALLAHU AKBAR!" The Psychic-type yelled with a deep, burly voiced that betrayed his appearance. The other two Pokémon, the same Steenee and Kirlia described by the witnesses, rose to their feet, joining in the chant with their similarly-manly voices. Kaiji was frozen in place, not out of fear, but out of sheer, overwhelming bewilderment. Quickly, though, he focused on the one detail about their yelling that actually mattered - they were human. The gears in his mind began turning, and he quickly spun up a tale of complete and total bullshit as the aesthetically incongruous mujahideen approached him. Suddenly, Kaiji dropped to his knees, bowing down. "Oh, thank Allah! I have finally found more who are like me! I woke up in this town surrounded by jinn disguised as cartoons, and I thought I'd never find another human again!" The sly cat opened one eye, relieved to find that the three bandits had stopped in their tracks and begun to listen. "I had begun converting to Islam not long ago," He continued, taking the role of a recent convert to give himself wiggle room to not know what the hell they're on about. "-and when I awoke in this strange land I feared it was divine punishment! But now I know that it is a test, and meeting you has proven to me that I am on the right path." Kaiji looked up once more, and caught one of them nodding. That was a good sign - and so was the pile of mostly-untouched loot in the back of the cave.
"...And what about the one who is with you?" The Gothorita leered at him, gesturing to Kris, who had been standing there frozen in fear the entire time. "Oh, my apologies, my friend here I met just this morning... he DOESN'T REALLY TALK MUCH-" He coughed, hoping Kris would get the message to keep his mouth shut. "-but the jinn were chasing him when they found out he was a human like us. They attacked him viciously, breaking his horn-" Kris' expression somehow twisted to show even more discomfort than it did before as Kaiji mentioned his horn, but the cat didn't notice. "-and we fled up here. You seem much more adapted to this terrible situation than us, so we are at your service." The Steenee narrowed his eyes, not seeming quite convinced. "My nephew had this game before we took it away from him, and I remember a few things. These two... they are the dark type, known for deception and trickery. You can't possibly trust what they say..." Kaiji raised an eyebrow. "Unless you have something to say about why you look like little pixie girls... I don't think the form we take in this world reflects much on us." Kirlia winced, sighing. "These forms are... inconvenient, yes. I suppose you are right. Come, brother, we shall tell you all that we know." The Kirlia sat down, and everyone else quickly joined him around the fire. "You seem not to have noticed, but the world we find ourselves in is not the realm of the Jinn... if our enemies were mere jinn, things would not be nearly so dire. This world is that of the creatures known as Pokémon, a twisted game of satanic teachings meant to lead our youth astray. These monsters are not jinn, but outright demons!" The Kirlia asserted (in his comically burly voice), before the Gothorita continued for him. "We do not know whether we were brought here through a demonic ritual, or if Allah sent us here to be his warriors, but we do know that it is only through his grace that we were blessed with powers of our own to fight back against these demons. We shall cleanse them from the land, and bring the light of Allah to this cursed realm!" The three bandits cheered, and Kaiji just shrugged and joined in with them. Kris looked nervously around the room, visibly uncomfortable, and still keeping his right eye shut on account of his earlier injury from Kaiji's careless coin flipping.
"Each of us has been given a different power. I, Abdul, have powers of the mind, such as lifting things with thought alone..." The Gothorita explained, before pointing to the Steenee beside him. "Sayyid has the power of controlling plants, attacking with vines and leaves and healing from the sun..." 'Abdul' pointed now to the Kirlia on his other side. "And Juma has mind powers, as well as some sort of fairy magic... He can warp in the blink of an eye, and attack with his voice. Now, what are your abilities?" Kaiji grinned, stretching his arms above his head. "I'm glad you asked! With my, powers of the shadows, I can make sneak attacks that even the most agile of foes can't avoid... but that isn't my most valuable power." He stood up, pulling a coin out of thin air. "There seems to be no limit to the supply of coins I can create... with this, we can lay low and purchase from towns anything we cannot liberate from weaker demons. They'll happily sell us the tools we'll use to slay them... Their bottomless greed will blind them and they won't discover that we're not demons like them." Kaiji stood up, really getting into it now - he was confident he'd earned their trust. The three bandits looked impressed, turning to each other and murmuring. "And my partner here, he might have the most useful power of us all. He has visions that can see what dangers will come to us in the future..."
Kaiji expected that the bandits would be pleased with this revelation, but the atmosphere in the room had shifted with his last statement. "You mean... like a prophet?" Sayyid the Steenee asked, though the tone of his voice was one of suspicion. "That would be one way to look at it, I suppose. We are very lucky t-" "What happened to his eye?" Juma the Kirlia interrupted him, referring to Kris' swollen right eye, which was still shut. "Oh, that... the demons had been beating his face heavily, and-" Once again, Kaiji was interrupted as Abdul the Gothorita spoke out. "In the village, I had used my powers of the mind to learn the language of these demons as I attacked them. The marks on his head..." He pointed to Kris, and more specifically to the markings Kaiji had left on his forehead. "On his head it is written... That he is the Unbeliever!" The other two bandits stood up angrily, clenching their fists. "You cannot hide your rotten eye from us! It is as foretold in the Hadiths... You are Dajjal, The Deceiver!" The bandits were starting to get worked up - Kaiji had no idea what was going on, but he knew it was nothing good. Kris had backed himself against the wall nervously, looking around desperately for a way out - the bandits were currently standing between the two of them and the exit. "MASHALLAH, WE WILL STRIKE YOU D- AACKK!"
[Music - https://youtu.be/pAngi8HPUew ]
Kaiji was the kind of Pokémon who knew when the jig was up, and had been the first to strike. Rushing forward before the bandits could react, he hit Abdul with Feint Attack, knocking the Gothorita back with a quick sucker punch in the stomach. "Alright, diplomacy ain't gonna work with you ISIS dweebs, so let's just get to the point!" Abdul attempted to retaliate with Psychic, but screamed in frustration as the Meowth stood strong against the waves of psychic energy, barely even flinching. He extended his claws, rushing forward to land a follow-up attack on his unprepared opponent, only to receive a swift kick in the side from Sayyid, the Grass-type knocking him over with a well-placed Stomp. "We are not Daesh! Listen here, Dajjal and his demon, for you will be slain by the brave mujahideen of Afghan- AAGH!" Sayyid didn't get a chance to finish, as Kris finally lept into action, pouncing upon the distracted Steenee. A wavy beam of green light emerged from where his horn terminated, extending to the same length the rest of his blade used to be. He slashed savagely at the overgrown weed below him, unleashing a super-effective Fury Cutter - clearly, with emphasis on the Fury.
"It is no use, Dajjal! Our faith in Allah gives us strength. Let my prayer be your end!" Juma focused, closing his eyes, before letting his voice fill the room with a mighty roar. "ALLAHU AKBAR!" As the Kirlia chanted out, a pink shockwave emanated from his mouth and quickly tore through the cave, knocking both Kaiji and Kris off of their feet. "D- Don't tell me that was supposed to be Disarming Voice!" Kaiji struggled to rise up to his feet after that devastating blow from what was supposed to be a weak attack. It was a super-effective move from a Pokémon who shared its type, and to make matters even worse, Juma's ability Trace had copied Kaiji's Technician, increasing the move's usually-modest attack power even more. The fact it could hit both of them at once was just the cherry on top... It packed a real punch on the pair of Dark-types, and they probably couldn't survive another hit from it if they were taking the attacks of the other bandits as well. As it stood, they were royally screwed, and something needed to change, fast. "Is this really the way it's gonna end for me? Buried as a cat after being yelled to death in a cave by the Taliban in drag?" Kaiji squinted as the gears in his head started turning on overdrive, trying desperately to think them up a way out of this one. "Wait a second... Disarming... Voice..."
Kaiji's eyes lit up as an idea struck him, and he wasted no time, pouncing upon the Gothorita and relentlessly clawing at him with a flurry of slashes as the soldier-turned-scratching-post felt the wrath of his Fury Swipes. "KRIS!" SLASH! Abdul cried out as Kaiji's claws swiped across him faster than his eyes could track. "Pin down the Kirlia! Cover his mouth so he can't attack again!" Kaiji continued, as he kept up the assault with his other paw, alternating between them with each swipe to lower the downtime between hits and give the Psychic-type no break to catch their breath. His attack was finally cut short as the Gothorita below him summoned the strength to use Shadow Ball, the force enough to knock the cat off of him but the ineffective damage leaving something to be desired. "Shit! Only four hits... I wasn't done yet!" Kaiji grumbled as he picked himself back up. Meanwhile, Kris gave a nod as he finished processing Kaiji's plan. The Absol rushed at Juma, quickly pinning the would-be warrior under his weight and placing his paw over the scrawny Fairy-type's mouth, silencing him. Muffled screaming marked the sound of another attempted Disarming Voice, his futile efforts cut short as another Fury Cutter knocked the wind out of him.
Sayyid the Steenee looked around the room and saw how the tide was beginning to turn against them. Seeing the Absol pinning down their best attacker, he realized their only hope of winning was getting Juma out from under his grip so he could hit them back hard. "Your eagerness to have us silenced only shows how much you fear out words, Dajjal! ALLAHU AKBAR!" He shouted, as he hurled razor-sharp leaves at Kris. The Dark-type flinched, gritting his teeth, but held his ground, keeping his paw firmly over Juma's mouth even as the attack left cuts across his back. "Keep your focus on the Kirlia, don't stop until he's down for the count!" Kaiji instructed, before focusing his attention back on Abdul. Dashing up to the leader, he hit him fast with one last Feint Attack, knocking him out cold before he could use another attack - not that any of his had been doing much. "One down, two to go..." Kaiji panted, turning to his partner. Kris' horn glowed once more before it came down upon the unfortunate fairy, slashing at him once again with a full-powered Fury Cutter.
Juma let out another muffled shout as he attempted once more to cast Disarming Voice. Kris held strong, stifling the move with his paw, but was caught entirely off-guard as Sayyid rushed at him, his devastating Low Sweep knocking Kris off of his feet - and off of Juma. "Once, when it looked like we were defeated, we came together and drove off the invaders! Don't think you are close to victory, Dajjal..." The flower stood tall over the fallen fox. Kris was the most roughed up out of any of them... He was covered in bruises and cuts, the worst of them being the two across his back from the Razor Leaf he took earlier. But even as blood began to trickle down his face as his head hit a small rock protruding from the floor when Sayyid had knocked him over, the battered Dark-type rose to his feet, a fierce look in his eyes as he brought his broken blade down once more upon Juma. The mujahideen mage let out a yell as the fox ferociously slashed at his stomach, but his screams of pain were cut short as Kaiji followed up with Assurance, smacking the last bits of consciousness out of the poor jihadi with a good slap to the face. "Only one left..." Kaiji muttered, breathing heavily as he turned his attention to Sayyid, the last remaining bandit.
As soon as Kaiji's head had turned, his face was met with Sayyid's foot as the desperate bandit hit him with Stomp, kicking his head into the ground. "Shit!" Kaiji cried out as the back of his head hit the uneven, rocky floor of the cave, his vision starting to spin as he struggled to get back up on his two feet. He saw the Steenee's leaves begin to glow as he readied another Razor Leaf, but the vicious vegetable was knocked into the cave wall at the last second by Kris. His projectile leaves fired off-course just barely enough that they missed Kaiji, embedding themselves into the cave wall. "Yow! Clipped my damn whisker..." The close call had Kaiji once again wide awake, brushing his cheek as he watched Kris swing his horn at the pinned Grass-type, only barely landing Fury Cutter despite being at point-blank. The attack had dragged across the cave's wall before it finally hit its mark, too... the battle had taken a toll on both of them, and Kris couldn't keep this up much longer. Sayyid grit his teeth as he prepared to strike back - he was just as beaten and bruised as his opponents, but both of the Dark-type intruders looked about ready to fall over with a single move. "Your demons may be fierce, Dajjal, but I know the rules of this foul game you have chosen for us! And this is a game you are not going to w-" The last mujahideen was finally silenced as he slumped over, falling to the ground as Kaiji's Pay Day met his forehead. "Game over."
Kris let out a deep sigh of relief as Sayyid finally went down, before his legs gave out from under him and he collapsed on the ground. He took a minute to recover before he could even speak again. "A-all my muscles are screaming..." He whimpered, while Kaiji dug through his bag for an Oran Berry. "They really did a number on you... How the hell did you even take that many hits?" Kaiji placed the berry where Kris could reach it before starting to bandage his wounds. "This wasn't my first adventure! I can handle a couple of bandits just- Ow! -f-fine." Kris winced as Kaiji's paw grazed one of the cuts on his back. "Geez, what kinda adventures were you going on that made you this durable?" Kaiji whistled, almost bandaging up Kris' broken horn before catching himself. "I-I was... I- There was... It's..." Kris shut his eyes tight, looking like he was straining himself as he recalled a memory. "Sh- shit, uh... Hey, look, all the stuff they took's piled up over there! Let's see how much of it's still here..." Kaiji produced a list of the stolen items from his bag, given to him earlier by the village chief.
After a few seconds, Kris snapped out of it, opening his eye, rising up onto his wobbling legs, and staggering over to the pile of items with Kaiji. They spent a few minutes checking everything off of the list, finally reaching the end without a single item unaccounted for. "Th-that's strange... Everything's here. Maybe they didn't have time to use any of this because they just got here?" Kaiji shook his head. "You heard 'em, they're humans. Probably didn't know how to use half of this yet." Kaiji looked over all the untouched items. "Imagine if they'd figured out what that Blast Seed does..." He gulped, picking up the natural explosive and shuddering at how easily things could've gone south for them. "...W-we wouldn't have made it out of here in one piece." Kris shivered at the thought, already damaged enough without the use of any battle items. Kaiji stretched out his arms, starting to feel his energy return - even if he still had a bad headache from the Steenee's fierce kicks to his cranium.
The two of them took an hour to rest by the fire the bandits already had going before they got there. They reluctantly got up to leave once the sun had fully set, and the last bits of sunlight faded from its wake - they didn't want to take any chances with the bandits waking up before they got them back to town. Kaiji loaded Abdul and Juma onto Kris' back, while he took Sayyid, the Steenee being the lightest of them. As they snuffed out the fire and walked out of the cave, Kaiji suddenly set Sayyid down and turned around, stepping back into the cave. "You go ahead, I'll catch up... Forgot my damn bag in there." He sighed, pausing for a second to wait for Kris' response. "A-alright, just don't take too long..." Kris started making his way down the path the bandits had come up through, retracing their footsteps since they'd seemed to have taken the longer way themselves on the way up.
Kaiji checked that Kris was out of sight, before making his way back to the hoard of loot. His bag was right next to it, exactly where he'd left it - he'd never "forgotten" it there at all. He worked quickly, digging through the stash for the handful of items he'd mentally picked out while going over the list earlier, stuffing them in his bag. He didn't want to take too long, or Kris would get suspicious... If he knew, he'd probably feel too guilty and blab about it to village chief Gumshoos like an idiot when they got back. He got up, putting his bag over his shoulder and hurrying back to pick up Sayyid and join Kris. "Whew..." Kaiji panted. "I left it by the campfire. Must'a forgotten it when we put it out." Kris chuckled. "And you call ME the idiot, haha..." He shook his head as he chuckled, playing it off as just a joke, but Kaiji could sense a twinge of sadness in his voice. "Hey, stay still for a moment..." Kaiji stepped in front of his partner, wiping the writing off of his forehead. "Huh? B-but what about the bet?" Kris gasped, shocked at the uncharacteristic display of kindness from his partner. "Pteh, who cares about that... no idiot I know of can battle like you did back there." Kaiji turned and continued along the trail nonchalantly, but Kris struggled to hide the dumb smile beginning to form on his face.
After a couple hours of walking, the pair had finally made it back to the village. After everything they'd been through that day, they were exhausted, but they'd still managed to make good time regardless. The bandits had found a clearer path through the forest since they had the vantage point on the mountain to scope it out first, and going down a mountain sure was easier than going up. More than anything, though, they didn't want to be caught alone if the bandits woke up early - nothing could possibly have motivated them to ignore their aching muscles and heavy eyelids more than the thought of taking another beating like the one they'd just received. By the time they made it back into the village proper, their legs finally gave out and they collapsed in front of the chief's house. "I'd complain that you've come to me so late..." Chief Gumshoos yawned as he stumbled out of his hut. "...but into the mountains and back on the same day? That's impressive. There's definitely a story here. Please, come in..." The chief stepped to the side, inviting the two Pokémon into his home while he shouted for the village guards to come take the unconscious bandits off of their hands.
Some time later...
"-and the whole time, they were going on about how this whole world was some sort of cursed children's game and we were all demons they were sent to slay..." Kaiji was recounting the story, taking sips of the chief's leftover berry stew he'd shared with them after seeing the state they arrived in. "I'm telling you, it's all over for us, they found out about the secret evil hopscotch us Pokémon invented to destroy the world, one hop at a time." He joked, getting a laugh from the chief. "But geez, it seems like there's only been more and more of those crazies calling themselves humans lately. I wonder where all these creeps are coming from?" Kaiji sighed. "B-but you- Ow..." Kris' objection was interrupted by a hard nudge in the side from Kaiji, who leered at him. Despite being a detective by nature, the Gumshoos was too tired to notice or even care about what was going on with the Dark-types beyond the job they'd completed. "I heard there was a group of them down south in Capim... They don't usually pass through here, but I suppose our luck's finally turned for the worse. Those city Pokémon just aren't right." The chief sighed, shaking his head.
Kaiji's eyes lit up with curiosity. "Human-crazy Pokémon down there? Now I'm intrigued. We were just heading down there ourselves-" Kris raised an eyebrow. This was the first he'd heard of this - he thought they were still going east. "-so it'd be nice to know what we're dealing with." The chief just gave his best shrug. "All I know is it's some sort of guild full of Pokémon obsessed with humans. Hobby or delusion, I couldn't tell you, and I don't even want to know. But if you're heading that way, watch out around the mountain range you'll get close to the eastern edge of as you go down south... I've heard the Pokémon there get into nasty territorial fights. You wouldn't want to get caught up in it, so be on guard." Kaiji stood up, stretching. "Well, we'd better be on our way. We thank you kindly for the information..." He bowed politely. "Oh, and you can find what's left of the village's stuff in the cave halfway up the closest mountain." Kris smiled as his partner spoke, remembering their luck in recovering every last item. "Can you believe it? Everything was still there, it's like they- Ow!" Kris whined as Kaiji elbowed him again, but it was too late to cut him off. "That's great! We'll send up a couple Pokémon to collect it all first thing in the morning. We really can't thank you enough... But are you sure you're leaving tonight? You really ought to rest, we have room in-" Kaiji smiled nervously, suddenly a whole lot more certain they'd be leaving right that instant than he was before. "H-haha, we'd love to, but, uh, we've got to get to Capim Town in a hurry - we'll need to do all the walking we can to make it there in time." Chief Gumshoos handed Kaiji a sack of Poké. "Alright, I won't keep you... but don't think I've forgotten about your reward. You two did outstanding today, and you'll always be welcome in our village if you're ever in the area again." Gumshoos waved as the two tired Pokémon set off, Kris flashing a sincere smile back at him before yawning and picking up his pace to catch up to his partner.
"Did we really have to leave so soon? I didn't even know we were going down to Capim! Couldn't we rest back at the village first? I'm exhausted..." Kris whined as he trotted along behind Kaiji, the village starting to look smaller and smaller behind them as they continued on. "Trust me, we'll want to be out of sight when they send that team to get the items tomorrow morning." Kaiji chuckled. "W-what do you mean? Why's that?" Kris tilted his head, sounding a little anxious. "Well, the items I took from the stash were worth more than the measly reward he gave us." Kris gasped, his eyes widening. "Y-you didn't! H-how could you? The village was counting on us..." He whimpered, looking back at the cluster of primitive huts behind them. Kaiji rolled his eyes in response. "Don't make such a big deal out of it. If we'd have just done nothing, that village would have NONE of it back, and they'd have to worry about those dangerous bandits raiding them again too. A couple of items is a small price to pay, especially when we took the major beating for them. Now, if you want to go back and tell them, be my guest, but I'm going to go take my chances with that human guild he mentioned." Kaiji smirked, holding his head up high. Kris looked to Kaiji, then back towards the village, whimpering before starting to follow along again. It wasn't fair... he wasn't the one who took anything, so why shouldn't it be Kaiji going back? He'd already had enough conflict for today... So in the end, he'd decided he wasn't about to push his luck any more.
"Why do you want to meet up with those humans, anyway? It's not like we were heading that way before..." Kris questioned, tilting his head. "It's only natural to gravitate towards others in the same situation as you. Besides, if they all had a reason to form a guild on the basis of being human, that reason probably extends to me as well." He shrugged. "But we don't know anything else about them! W-what if they aren't even trustworthy? You can't assume they'll be okay just because they're humans... Humans can be evil too, you know!" Kris objected, sounding a little nervous. "Please, not every one of us is as bad as those bandits." Kaiji scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Hmph. I was actually talking about you, you dummy!" Kris stuck his tongue out at his partner, and the two of them laughed as they disappeared into the night. Their next stop: The mysterious guild in Capim Town!
This may be the end of their origin story, but their journey to Capim has only just begun! Stay tuned in the future, when the tale of their first adventure is extended in... Kaiji & Kris in... Meowcolm X!
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"B-by the way, Kaiji? I was wondering... What the heck is a 'Dajjal'?" Kris spoke up, but Kaiji could only shrug, still just as confused as his partner. "Not a damn clue."