Wall of Shame

Creed Aventus

Wild variations between batches, inexcusable for something that costs as much as this shit does. You'll smell like every fuckin' club-banging Cubano or rich expatriate Gulf Arab in South Florida. Nobody who wears this shit ever wears a sensible amount of it.

used to call a faculty member "Dr. Creed" or "Dr. Aventus" behind his back

You could tell when this nigger had been in an elevator 30 minutes after the fact

MIA, ~2016?

Traveling for work with my allergies cranked so far past 11 that my regular medicine + Benadryl + Sudafed + steroid nasal spray + those "fast acting" decongestant nasal sprays you shouldn't use for too long, combined, couldn't cut through the shit in my sinuses. Walked, one, two, THREE places behind in line, tapped a guy on the shoulder:

si? I mean jes?

I don't mean to intrude, but what's that cologne you're wearing?

Creed Abentoos

I knew it! It's uh...it's very recognizable! Have a safe trip! JESUS CHRIST, DID YOU BATHE IN IT?!

he was on my plane
I never saw him, but I could smell him
at 30,000 feet, in a pressurized cabin
with sinuses that Robotnik pissed in because he thought they were the market

You don't want to be associated with any of that. And some of the knockoffs smell more consistently like this shit is supposed to...L'Aventure by Al Haramain comes to mind. Sasuga fellow sand niggers.

Dior Homme Eau

Ambroxan® bomb, sold it. No, you French bastard, synthetic Ambroxan is not ambergris. Apparently it's discontinued too. Good.

Dior Sauvage

because "Dr. Aventus" eventually became "Dr. Sauvage"

Plus it smells like dryer sheets to me. Heavy once again on the Iso E Super, with added Ambroxan®. I might actually be sensitive to Ambroxan, considering how quickly this one made my stomach turn.

Dolce&Gabbana The One Gentleman

Lasted forever! Smelled like shit! I threw a dopp bag away because I could still smell this shit in it years after a tiny sample sprayer had leaked in there.

Tom Ford Costa Azurra

For the refined gentleman that wants to pay $250 for a bottle of Acqua di Gio.

Tom Ford Grey Vetiver

Got a very cheap EdP bottle on eBay. Was happy to sell it for more than I paid for it, because it didn't smell like it was worth three times as much as Guerlain Vetiver...seriously, if you want to smell like an oji-san vetiver, just get that one.

Yves Saint Laurent L'Homme Libre

Lasted forever! Smelled like shit! Another case of a "flanker" smelling 10x as powerful and 100x worse than what it's "based" on.

>>13273898
not gonna read but based