Aftermath
Ichika's chest aches with pain as it slowly rises and falls, the rest of her body similarly sorely throbbing and her head spinning. Her mind tries to puzzle together what landed her in such a position — to figure out what slip-up she'd made so that she might avoid it. It wasn't just the pain that had her mind in a state of disarray, but a feeling of shame that weighed her down more than fatigue ever could. She lost. That much was clear even through her blurred vision. Maybe more than why or how, the question that was at the forefront of her mind was What comes next?
"Just going to lay down like a loser?"
The words come like a needle piercing her skull. Her eyes finally focus and the frowning face of her instructor greets her as Ami looms over. The intense look of disappointment makes her skin crawl and something in her urges her body to run away, but there's little she can do to escape under her current condition.
"N-No, I'm not giving up...I'm just..."
"Wallowing in pity? How do you think I feel? All that work just so you could let me down. Let everyone down."
Images of her family, friends from the village, and then of Kita and Masu's beaten bodies flash in Ichika's mind, sticking there while all she can do is grit her teeth in response.
"...I did the best I could."
"Liar. You sacrificed them because you're soft. And scared. Now you're all dying, but I guess you got to stay a good girl. That's what really matters, right?"
"That's not true!"
Heat builds up within Ichika's body, her blood feeling like it's boiling. Shame swirls between doubt and anger and then settles into frustration. Regret wasn't a feeling she liked to let take hold of her, but it was hard to let go of as she began to recall her team's encounter with Team 5 more clearly. She had hoped that distracting Jin for a while and, at worst, forcing a draw would be enough — that if she made that sacrifice, then her friends would be able to handle the rest. She didn't know what condition Masu or Kita were actually in. She wanted to believe that they were collecting the scroll they needed and carrying her back to their camp. But the idea that her efforts hadn't been enough and that they might need her while she was stuck in her own head had taken root.
Could I have tried harder?
It wasn't an easy question to ask herself. She still wanted to believe she'd done her best, but that was paired with a growing feeling that she needed to do more even if she didn't know what more meant. Beating someone like Jin wouldn't be easy even if he wasn't so...motivated. The approach that She and Kita had decided on seemed like the best bet, but what if she really went for it? It wasn't like she didn't want to win, but what she considered a win and what her opponent did were clearly different. If she returned that ferocity, would it have made the difference? Having been on the receiving end of a brutal beating didn't make the thought of dishing one out any more pleasant, but if there was a problem to be found with their plan, then an unwillingness to respond in kind to someone who seemed more than willing to kill her was it.
Can I kill?
Ichika's body shoots up and she grabs at her waist as the pain felt in her dream transfers into reality. Or at least she tries to, but her arms prove unresponsive. What was working were her eyes, so she frantically looked around for the familiar chakra signatures of her teammates. However, her panic is shown to be unnecessary; the sight of rather large spiders and then Kita himself put her mind at ease.
"Ichika-san, you're awake. I'm sorry, but we weren't able to secure a second scroll."
The words come out as Kita shifts from the form of a spider into one Ichika is more used to. His features remain cool and controlled, but the traces of worry don't escape her notice. More than anything, his actions betray it. Numerous spiders, presumably both summoned and transformed shadow clones, stand guard amongst the trees and the pouch containing her blood pills seems lighter. It was also only now that she recognized her state of suspension above the forest in the web of said spiders.
"It doesn't matter. Where's Masu-chan? Is she okay?"
"...I'll be fine."
The bandaged girl's voice is quiet, but that isn't anything unusual for her. With Masu somewhere out of view and Ichika's body still refusing to cooperate, she can only make guesses about the bandaged girl's condition. From what she could gather, things hadn't gone well. The idea that she could've and should've done better accompanied by the fact that she'd seemingly been out for a while causes some frustration with herself to spark up inside. Yet, her friends seemed to be okay and that was all that mattered. Part of her wants to ask more questions about what happened while she was unconscious or, if that would take too long, browse her teammates' memories for information. It doesn't matter, though. Knowing wouldn't help with her current situation.
"So...we still need to find our second scroll? I guess we have our work cut out for us!"
"That is correct, but we're in no condition to be picking fights."
"Oh, I'll fix you up if you need it. Just, uh, give me a minute!."
Ichika's attempt to push on with positivity only ears a critical stare from Kita, unamused by the assertion that she could do anything but rest. From where she was, she didn't see how she could rest.
"Your tenkestu have only just started to open up again. There are plenty still other teams in the forest, so we should just wait until you've recovered before we proceed."
"No! I mean...the longer we wait, the less likely we are to find the scroll we need. J-Just give me a second..."
Her eyes shut alongside a deep inhale. She wouldn't let herself weigh her team down. If some of her chakra was flowing, then all she had to do was make the rest do so as well. Then, she could make her body start repairing itself faster. So, she focuses inward and on guiding her chakra through a single path until it meets a blockage. Forcing it through is like clearing rocks from a stream, slowly allowing it to trickle through until...
"Urghk!"
"Ichika!"
Kita rushes to Ichika's side as she doubles over and hacks up blood. This time, there's enough movement in her arm to bring her sleeve to her mouth and wipe it clean. Opening her pathways up like this didn't seem any more pleasant than the experience of having them closed, but that it seemed to work was enough for her.
"Hah! S-See? I'll be fine in no time! I just have to do...hopefully, not too many times."
"We should still wait. And you should be careful with...that."
"It's fine! I won't let you down. Oh, I don't think I could keep anything down right now, but you two should try eating. There should be buns in my bag..."
Ichika clumsily moves her arm to retrieve the snacks and shoves them towards Kita, entrusting him to share them with their other teammate.
"I had a ration pill earlier. It isn't necessary."
"Come one, at least have a little. The taste will make you feel better!"
Kita disappears out of view to deliver Masu's portion. With that out of the way, Ichika returns her focus to recovery and repeats the slow process of reopening her pathways. It wasn't pleasant or easy, but she knew she could do it. She had to do it.