Mad Milk
Somewhere in /towa/
A lone figure staggers into a village, dressed in soot covered rags approaching a pair of local sentries
You handle this one Quentin., shouldn't be a tough fight
Alright Bert
Once confirming who would handle the straggler through hivemind communication, the junior sentry named Quentin approached the suspicious figure
"Hey,what's your business here?" questioned Quentin
"Is this land of the kenzoku?" the scrawny figure rasped
"Yeah it is" Quentin replied"What're you doing here?" he questioned, slowly approaching the odd man with his hand over his short sword "Do yo-"
"Those conniving little whelps! They plan to use your goddess in their neferious schemes to reverse the natural order! WITH MILK!"
The figure blurted, screaming his words. Townspeople gathered to stare at the source of the bizzare outburst
"Hey slow down, who the fu-"
"Those key shits over in vsj+! I've been in their little rat holes, images and whispers of milk are mentioned alongside your purple god who they intend to extract it from!"
What
This was the solo thought of the village's hivemind hearing this nonsensical account
A voice suddenly offers some clarity to the otherwise dazed populous "Ah right, a former fandead did mention that our goddess's image was invoked along their new underground homes as they hid from schizos"
"A fine obsevation!" The now clearly schizo man continued "Those bastards have been trying to spread their milk poison throughout vsj!"
"Is this some sort of metaphorical milk or do you mean actual milk?" A young and confused farmhand dared to question the brazen statement
"Man now I just want milk from twap..." an old drunkard swaying back and forth clearly on yet another binge mused aloud
"SILENCE YOU CHARLATAN! YOU'RE ONE OF THEIR AGENTS TO SPREAD THE TOXIC MILK" the "milk man" as the crowd has deemed accused, a bony finger pointing at the drunk
"I wish to aid you and your toi and prevent her from coming to harm! Clearly they intend to make a servant out of the gods, does yours performce rituals that indicate this desire to bring herself to the moral plane?" The figure gazed at the crowd with eager, bulgy eyes, the tense atmosphere was obvious to everyone but him
I regret letting this weirdo talk
Quentin thought, Bert nodding in sympathy
"I can help your precious twi! I need to gather their milk to create a false one to trick them!"
"Are you...like scared of cow's milk?" A rancher responded, voice laden with worry that the madman intends to ruin his livelihood
"Nonsense,I've never felt less fear from dairy products than right now!" The oddball retorted
"Right, maybe just letting milk be a useful product would aid you in your...quest" the rancher lamely offered, his attempts to sell plain to see
"Ahah, you're another one of their agents, see kenzoku, those key fuckers have infiltrated your ranks!" The haggard figure claimed
"Yeah so maybe while you're out maybe you could get us some of that rare plant milk from the forest people bud?" A disgruntled blacksmith snidely requested
"Your attempts to market your poisonus milk in vsj will not work here you scoundrel! You will not harm the purple god!" The milk man was clearly on edge now, seeing his enemies amongst the bemused villagers
"I'll gather the parts necessary for the Towa! Once that is done justice will claim it's due!"
A naive nurse began "Wait you can't-" an elbow from her superior put her sentence to a stop
Don't tell him that you bozo
A stern glare punctuated the mental message
"You key heretics will know the error of your way! The storm will come to reap the karmic rewards!"
With these final and somewhat ominous declarations finished,he scurried away, his wails of "key fags" and "cursed milk" echoing through the woods as he ran off to parts unknown
"What the fuck are we supposed to put in the report for this shit?" The sentries wondered
Sometime later
"Ah finally, I need to let them know before it's too late"
A robed figure hurried along to the village
As soon as he was sighted, the sentries sighed
"Great, another custodian escapee and the week hasn't even ended..." Bert grumbled
"Kenzoku thank goodness, wait a minute, another...?" The robed figure verbally and slowly pieced together past events
"Wait you've encountered a-" "A madman screaming his head off about milk?Yeah we did" Quentin finished the robed man's sentence
"Well no point hiding then" The man removed the hood, revealing his feline features and pale complexion, clear indictions the individual is a nekofami that was around when /rushia/ imploded "Sorry about that guy, he's a schizo who's been hounding our lands for a while"
"And the sky continues to be blue" the sentries snarked in unison
"I apologize, we never thought that some silly images scrawled of milk and your god would be the sign of our supposed secret plan to turn the gods into our slaves" The fandead lamented
"Well it's not a schizo raid, just some wanna be preacher forecasting the end time" Quentin spoke with a tinge of sympathy
"I hope he doesn't show his face here again, I fear his "gathering Towa" plans and if it comes to fruition I convey my deepest apologies, he came of his own violition out of his belief in the righteousness of his cause"
"Wait, you mean to say that "gathering Towa" meant something?" Bert questioned
"Yes, he intends to record in parchment occurance where our home mentioned your god, as proof that our cult plans to start with her first" The fandead answered
"How preposterous, to accuse my people of being nothing but a cult to turn gods into household servants for our sick pleasure! To accuse anyone of being a cult is a grave insult! The relations of god and people are of mutal benefit, not blind worship!" The fandead fumed
The two sentries slowly faced each other
HAHAAHAAHA Does this poor guy not know?
I don't think so Bert
Oh man the irony is thicker than a Luknight's pride good lord
They have always been isolated, it makes sense he doesn't know of the... zealous belief our nation and other Yonkisei are known for...
"Ummm,are you two okay?" the fandead asked, worry evident
The two snapped out of their mental conversation
"Yeah, just trying to think of what to do if he comes back is all, don't worry about that lunatic,this place has seen worse" Quentin answered, wearing a confident grin
"I'm glad to hear it, I'll be on my way then" The fandead departed hurriedly, clearly fearful of others seeing him
I really wish I just killed that milk man before he started his weird pitches
Well Quentin it's not all bad, it was pretty funny
Fair, though because of his ramblings my mind can't stop thinking about...
Milk?Yeah me too
Mhmm, still no clue if he meant physical or theoretical milk
Hell I don't know even if he was talking milk in physical form it's milk... or you know, "milk"
Mmmm,banana milk from twappi...
Heh, while you enjoy your daydream I'm getting some real milk, milk from a fresh turned hag
No fucking way, can't just say that without sharing you secretive bastard
Get some friends outside of the hololands kid, lots of opportunities for good shit
The hell is wrong with you two?
The sudden mental intrusion caused the two to glance back, their captain evidently staring in disapproval with a scornful frown on his face