Wye in the world... of Pokémon!

By Wye-anon

"Aww, fuck. You're a guy. I can tell by those tail feathers stickin' out you're a braviary. Not gonna cut it for me."

The sound of a deep, masculine voice was not one I expected in my dorm room. Sure, I knew Stephanie was a total slut, but she usually had her guys do the walk of shame well before I woke up. I was, as usual, buried under my covers, so I threw them up and sat upright and--

"What the fuck?" I said, except it didn't sound like my voice. I didn't pay immediate attention to that though since my ceiling was missing. I was outside, under a bright sun. I turned to my right and saw a-a massive Staraptor looking at me. Its little mowhawk-crest thing was upside-down, making him look kinda like Elvis or some other cartoon character I couldn't quite remember.

"You-you're a Pokémon? Wha—"

My voice carried off as I realized it was extremely deep. I looked down at myself and saw that I had feathers. I felt my jaw go slack, but I felt a heavy beak fall down instead. I looked at my yellow talons where my legs should've been and then back to my arms which were now wings.

"So what's your name?"

"Why am I a bird?" I blurted, skirting the question entirely

"Woah there Wye, slow down. Don't get all poetical on me. I'm able to swoon the ladies without those cheap tricks, y'know."

I looked back at the Staraptor. "Huh?"

"Aw, don't play stupid now. 'Wye, am I. A bird.' You talk funny. I'd let you—heh—sleep talk with me, but you're a dude. I'm not into guys."

"I am not a guy, and my name isn't Wye!"

"I don't think your name has anything to do with it. Not gonna lie, your little psychic projection is giving me some real mean eye."

"What the fuck are you talking about."

"It must be the wind, huh?"

"What?" I asked, my deep voice cracking when I tried to make it a high pitch like I usually did.

"Since it makes me want to howl~." said the Staraptor, who then seemed to emanate some sort of energy then—I swear I saw two of them—began to strike ridiculous poses and cry out "hoo-ah" over and over.

"What the fuck is happening to me," I whispered to myself. I looked around and then focused on the Staraptor. I looked at him and then, suddenly, I felt my mind flare up. It's as if a second eye were open and I could hear a wave of thoughts that I knew even in this weird body weren't my own:

This one's a dud. Gotta go look for some other pretty birds to swoon.

Or another 'mon! I don't think Arceus intended for all this goodness to be just for flying-types. Hoo-ah!

C'mon Javo! Quit looking at those eyes. I wonder if I can separate them from Wye.

"'Javo?'"

He ruffled his feathers and stepped back at this. "How do you know my name? Were you reading my mind?"

"I think so? I can't say why."

"You just did, Wye. Huh, you must've hurt your head real bad, huh, squaking your name over and over? Cuz that's the sign of a a total idiot, mhm. Look, I'll take you back to the Guild and get you healed up. In return, you can be my wingman. Heh, get it? 'Wingman?' Since—"

"Sure, sure, I get it," I said as I stood up and dusted myself off. I tried to take a step forward and promptly fell on my face, covering my fathers and my beak in dirt.

"Woah there, you alright? Just fly."

"I-I don't think I can."

Javo sighed into a wing. As I focused on him I accidentally reached into his brain again.

Arceus, why did you send me a crippled retard? It's almost like you don't want me to have more handsome starlies.

Wait, is it so that I'll look good in comparison? That must be it. All those ladies will be smitten that I take care of the needy. Hoo-ah.

I shook my head, exiting Javo's mind. I was going to be in for... something, certainly.

What choice do I have? I thought as I hopped behind Javo, my new partner, who walked beside me down the path towards the unknown.