Reforging Bonds
Christopher stared at the sky. He was laying on Shiketsu’s roof, near the eastern fence. He held an empty bento box on his stomach, still vaguely hungry. He watched the clouds drift lazily. The bell rang. He’d been here for an hour.
The bell rang a second time. He didn’t move. He was hoping to meet someone during lunch, but she hadn’t come. Now, he was just hoping she was late.
The sun started to fall and yet another bell rang. Still, Christopher didn’t move. This morning, he’d decided he’d wait all day if he had to. He closed his eyes. If he was going to wait anyway, might as well sleep. The weather was nice and the sun was warm.
Christopher woke as a shadow fell over him. “You just gonna wait all day asshole?”
Christopher opened his eyes. Yui was standing over him. Her face was wreathed in shadows, the sun glaring from behind her head. He couldn’t read her like this. He had no idea why she finally showed up.
“If I had to.” Christopher acknowledged. He sat up. Still bleary eyed from his nap. How long had it been since he skipped school? What time was it? The sun was low in the sky. School might’ve been over for an hour at least. His escort would probably be pissed.
“Well, I’m here.” Yui said. She had a crumpled up letter in one hand, slightly damp, looked like it’d been fished out of a garbage can. In her other hand was a small cat toy that Chris had wrapped the letter around. “Say your peace.”
“I’m sorry.” Christopher said without hesitation. Staying where he was, sitting on the ground, facing away from her. “I overreacted to what you said.”
“No shit.” Yui bit back. “That all?”
“Yeah.”
Yui turned to leave, “thanks for the toy.”
“Now it’s your turn.”
“What?!” Yui whirled on him.
Christopher stood and faced her. He wouldn’t back down. “Now, you apologize for what you said.”
Yui’s face twitched as if she couldn’t believe his audacity. “Why the Hell should I? I meant every word of it.”
Christopher ground his teeth. “You’re REALLY telling me you think the best heroes are ‘the shit that rose to the top?’”
“They aren’t the best!” Yui retorted. “The best are the poor bastards out there actually helping people!”
Christopher looked at her incredulously. ‘the top heroes don’t help people? What?’ She wasn’t stupid. The tricks with the pinball machine alone, not to mention her leadership during the combat exercises proved as much. But she was being stupid. “Yui, you’re acting stup-- URK!”
Yui’s body moved on its own and lifted Chris up by his collar.
‘Shit! Don’t escalate this, just walk away you moron.’
“What the Hell did you call me?!” Yui found herself screaming.
‘Or do that.’
Chris’s eyes went wild and he started to hyperventilate. ‘What the Hell?!’ Then she noticed where her hands were. Her knuckles were digging into his throat. She hadn’t aimed for the throat, her hands had just moved.
‘FUCK!’ Yui cursed. She tensed ready to fight. She hadn’t wanted--
Just like that, his breathing changed. They were slow, calm, deep breaths. He was back.
“I was gonna say you’re acting stupid.” Chris managed, voice hoarse. “I didn’t CALL you anything.”
Almost on reflex Yui glanced down at Chris’s hand. His finger was bleeding. His thumb was still digging deeper into it. The thumb wiggled deeper for every moment she gripped him by the collar.
‘Fuck.’ She let go of him.
Yui stepped away, while Chris leaned against the fence to catch his breath. He ignored the blood flowing from his finger.
Yui flinched. She should help, at least it felt like she should. Maybe bandage him up. But she was too humiliated. She’d been bitching about Christopher overreacting ever since that night and now here she is doing this? Yui clicked her tongue.
“Sorry. About this, I mean.” Yui began to leave. She hadn’t even meant to accept his apology and she still felt like she’d fucked up. She got two steps away before she heard his voice again.
“You gonna apologize for what you said?”
Yui turned. Christopher was breathing deeply, still in the process of calming down, but his expression was the same Yui’d seen on countless crazy bastards on the streets. The type you avoided fighting. Not because they were stronger than anyone else. But because they weren’t giving up without being hospitalized or worse.
Christopher wasn’t going to accept any result other than an apology or an explanation. He’d just keep waiting up here on the roof every day until Yui explained her position or said ‘I’m sorry’ for it. People’d wonder why he was skipping class again. Questions would be asked of her… ‘fuck this kid.’
The night when they’d fought, after Christopher had talked about the teacher making him take tests in the closet like an animal, Yui thought she could share her views. Maybe he’d get it. She’d been wrong.
Easiest thing to do would just say ‘sorry’ and not mean it. She didn’t do that. Maybe it was the fact she’d almost been called stupid for expressing what experience had taught her. Maybe it was that she felt bad about throttling him. Whatever the reason, she explained.
“I won’t apologize. You don’t know what the top heroes are actually like when the camera’s off.”
Chris stayed silent.
“Big bad villain robbing banks. Little kid trying to survive. They’re both villains. Catching either of them is worth ‘villains defeated’ or whatever bull shit stat they’re using. Nobody who makes it to the top lets an opportunity to increase their ‘score’ go. No matter who they have to step on.”
“But--”
“Yeah,” Yui interrupted. She was explaining how shit actually worked, he could stand to fucking listen. “Some heroes ain’t like that, Popsy comes to mind. But Popsy ain’t top in any sort of ranking nowadays is she? Maybe even some of the top 10 ain’t complete piles of garbage, maybe some of them made it there without stepping on everyone they could. Maybe those guys are just that good or lucky. But, I don’t believe that.
Yui trembled at that last. She remembered cold nights. Nights spent in terror that the heroes would find her. That they'd her in for stealing, assault or whatever the Hell else they could pin on her. Somehow, through the memories, she managed to finish with an even voice.
“So don’t tell me I’m wrong, and don’t ask me to apologize for telling you how shit happened.”
Christopher was silent, it looked like he was trying to digest what she’d just said. Yui felt she could walk away now and he wouldn’t be up here tomorrow. This could be over. Instead, as she looked at his thinking face. Like he was really taking everything she’d said seriously. Almost like he was doing her a favor by taking the time out of his day to consider her words. She got pissed.
Christopher was troubled. He’d known intellectually that the hero business was cutthroat, but he’d always associated it with inter agency rivalry. He’d never thought of the quota side of things. Where villains arrested could mean as much, or more, to your rank than lives saved. Wouldn’t letting a villain slide be the same as leaving money on the table? Even if it was a little kid? What if she was right?
“Ok--”
“You’d already get it if you weren’t such a hero cock sucker.”
Christopher’s face went red. “I’m a cock sucker?!”
“What else would you call it? The second your precious fucking heroes were insulted you couldn’t handle it and ran away.”
The fire went out of Christopher’s belly. That… that would be what she’d have seen that as. No wonder she didn’t apologize. He had just been too wrapped up in his own head to see how he’d looked. “Fuck.”
“Well?! You got something else?!”
Christopher grimaced. Yui was just filling in dead air. Christopher was either going to answer her, or he was going to admit he wasn’t worth a fuck and she could leave. She wasn’t going to wait long for an answer. Thankfully, Christopher had one ready, it wasn’t the complete answer. It wouldn’t tell her exactly why her words had hurt, but it’d be enough for them to live with.
Christopher controlled his breathing. “How many of our classmates have parents in the top 10?”
“The Hell’s that got to do with anything?”
“It didn’t occur to you I might be one of them?”
Yui’s face was torn between denial and outrage. “No. No. For any of those brats it’s all anyone can talk about. I’ve never heard a single fucking word about your family.”
“No-one talks about it because my mom was America’s number 10 for two days before she died. Barely anyone gave a damn then and no-one gives a damn now.”
Yui was silent for a moment, a lot of her anger had passed when he didn’t just start spouting bull shit at her about the inherent nobility of heroes or some other full-of-shit canned speech. And when he’d brought up that her comments were unwittingly personal? Well, that’d killed whatever anger she had left. So, it wasn’t that she’d insulted his idols, it was family. Yui didn’t have family but… if someone insulted Nocti, even if they were just talking shit about vigilantes… yeah, okay, she got it. She’d’ve probably swung, but she could see where Chris’s reaction had come from.
She felt she knew enough to forgive now, maybe even apologize, but her mouth outran her head and she asked a question.
“… who?”
“Miracle.”
“The chick in the video game?”
Christopher nodded. “She’s fortunate to get that much. When she died the game was still in development. It was a… nice PR move.”
Yui shook her head, looking away.
“What about the chick you use? Miracle? She was kicking my ass.”
Christopher shook his head. “Think of her as a ‘Chris Special.’ No-one uses her as an anchor except me.”
“Why?”
“She’s not very good.”
“Why do you use a shit character?”
Christopher avoided the subject. “You know, some people do use Impakt...”
She’d misread him. She could admit that. That red-faced kid hadn’t been a child throwing a tantrum because his favorite super heroes were doubted. She’d just hit a sore spot on accident.
Chris overreacted, sure, but it wasn’t quite the overreaction she had thought it was. She could forgive it with a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Which he’d already done.
As for her apology. She wouldn’t apologize for speaking the truth as she saw it. She wouldn’t apologize for ignorance, especially when she had no way of knowing. But, she could apologize for hurting him when she didn’t mean to, she had that in her.
“So your mom was in the top 10, and you thought by insulting them I was insulting her… okay, that’s stupid. But I get it. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, just… a sore spot. Sorry to make such a big deal out of it.”
Yui looked back at Christopher. She reminded herself he was a kid, she shouldn’t hold him to a standard of emotional maturity she couldn’t hold herself to.
Yui saw Christopher’s face. He was looking away. Avoiding eye contact. Her blood went cold. He was lying.
Christopher saw it in Yui’s posture. She knew he was holding something back. There was no escaping it. Why the Hell was he such a bad liar?
Christopher closed his eyes for a moment. He was at a crossroads.
He could insist everything was forgiven and that she knew everything there was to know about his reaction now. Yui might accept that, but they’d never be friends again. She knew he was hiding something. If he didn’t tell her, that would show he didn’t value her and their friendship might as well stay dead.
The other path… Christopher could tell her exactly why what she said hurt so badly. If he told her, it would show Yui he valued her and that he wasn’t going to end their friendship over any single misunderstanding again. They’d be friends again, but the secret would be out. He felt he could trust Yui, but she was only human, how often had she let it slip she knew Nocti? She could slip with this too.
The question Christopher asked himself now, was the same question Yui was asking herself. Did Christopher give enough of a shit about their friendship that he’d tell her the whole truth? And why should he? This whole episode proved they didn’t know each other well, they’d just been acquaintances playing friends. Christopher and Yui both had real friends they could turn to. Yui had Orochi and Ashleigh. Christopher had Inigo and Kaylee. Really if Christopher just held onto Inigo and Kaylee he could see himself being happy. Forget the fact that he’d count Hoge, Noah and Imai as friends too and there were a dozen other friendly acquaintances in class. He didn’t need Yui did he?
No, he didn’t need Yui… but he wanted her. From the beginning of the year, when he first put in her binder ‘don’t approach.’ To now, just a few short months later, she’d changed so much. She’d worked so hard to change. And after all that work? She was someone Christopher wanted to not only know, but be a companion to. He wanted her to be his friend and if this was the only way that would happen… that was enough.
“Imai.” He didn’t expect his friend to be listening… but it was important Yui know he was preparing himself. Important she get herself ready. “If you’re doing Inigo a favor by listening in, can you go deaf?”
No response.
Yui watched Christopher intensely. ‘Please tell me you don’t need to hear it. Tell me I’m wrong and everything will be fine without opening this can up.’ Christopher thought. She didn’t say a word, her expression didn’t change.
It wouldn’t be fine if he didn’t talk. He was right about what he had to do. There was no longer any doubt.
Christopher felt his stomach tighten. He could still back out. He’d be an absolute shitstain of a person, but it was an option.
He didn’t.
“Your words didn’t hurt because you insulted my mom. They hurt because… I have no way of knowing if you were right.”
Yui, for once, kept her peace.
“My quirk… when I shatter a mirror, drop a quirk, whatever you want to call it. I forget the person’s quirk and…” Christopher took a deep breath. “I don’t understand myself how, but when I forget the quirk, I forget the person.”
“Your mom.”
Christopher nodded. He couldn’t remember this next part, he had long since dropped the quirks involved, but he’d at least been able to read about it in his own words. He’d started recording everything that day. If only he’d had that habit before.
He wished he could just truncate things. Just tell her the important part without getting into so much detail. But the only way he was going to get through this was if he recited his own journal entry on the subject. The one he’d been constantly expanding on with what little information he’d gleaned from his dad and news stories.
“Apparently I loved my mom’s quirk, I kept it mirrored all the time, never dropped it once until… the day she died. That day, I was playing with a friend in the street. He fell down a well. Somehow he survived. I could hear him, but I couldn’t see him, it was too dark. And he was crying. His mom got there and just immediately broke, her quirk was nightvision and she could see her son’s state but knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything. I could though.
“I mirrored his mom’s quirk, night vision, then headed down. There was blood everywhere, he was losing consciousness. My friend, he, had a healing quirk and I needed to see him to copy it, but I couldn’t see him without night vision. So… I dropped my mom’s quirk and mirrored his.
“I saved his life.” Christopher croaked as he remembered reading those words written in his own hand. “His mom drove me home. She’d gotten a big gift for me, I think it was a game console. I was pretty excited. Then, I saw my house; it was surrounded by cops. I got scared.
“I ran out of the moving car and dashed inside before the cops even noticed me. Then, I saw my dad on the couch. He was crying. Mom’s death broke my dad. But I didn’t care, I was so relieved. If he was okay, that meant I hadn’t lost anybody important.”
Christopher sighed as he finished his story. He felt… relieved. It was like he’d been waiting or maybe desperate to share his story. Unfortunately for Yui, she gave him the opportunity. She hadn't really asked to hear all that, but he was glad she had. “I don’t know, if she isn’t exactly as you described. I’d like to think she wasn’t… but maybe she was. I genuinely hadn’t considered the possibility before you said what you said.”
Chris closed his eyes, remembering the picture on the shrine at home, the meaningless picture with a stranger’s face. He hoped she was a good person. “Thanks, for listening, I’m sorry I just kept going.”
Christopher felt someone approach and come to a stop less than half a meter in front of him. He heard Yui’s gruff voice, a little hoarser than usual. “Come here.”
Christopher opened his eyes. Yui’s face was cast to the side, hiding her expression and her arms were outstretched.
Christopher was unfamiliar with the gesture. He raised an eyebrow. “What’re you doing?”
“You need a hug. I’m hugging you. Come here before this gets weird.”
“A hug? Like what little kids do?”
“...shut the fuck up Chris.”
Christopher shrugged and obeyed.
The approach was awkward, Christopher wasn’t an experienced hugger, neither was Yui, but ultimately they were successful. The hug was weird as Hell. Awkward, neither of them quite certain where hands or chins go in this situation and it probably lasted too long. Still, it felt warm.