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Entry: 19 Jan 2026
hi phil, my bestest, best of friends. you know, i usually struggle a lot with starting my lovemails, especially yours, it always feels wrong to just jump straight into the main point, like that would be too rushed or forced. but if theres one place i can start, its this: you were the first person i ever trusted this deeply. the first person who genuinely showed me they cared, who didnt avoid serious topics, and who was actually willing to look at themselves, admit when they were wrong, and actively change for the better.
throughout our one year friendship, weve met so many people who are the complete opposite of that.. people with painfully low emotional intelligence, who avoid accountability at all costs. because of that, i think its easy to forget how rare it actually is to find someone like you. someone who doesnt run away from confrontation, but sees it as a chance to grow.. and that is something SUPER huge.

however, this lovemail isnt supposed to be about other people. its supposed to be about you, about us, and what weve experienced together. no matter how long this ends up being, no matter how many words i use or how much effort i put into it, it still wont fully express how much i adore and appreciate you. i genuinely dont think i could put that into words, no matter how hard i tried. this isnt the typical “praising your best friend because theyre fun and cool and you talk a lot” kind of thing. youve helped me through so much, and im incredibly grateful that ive been able to do the same for you. you know things about me that ive never told anyone else. im so, so thankful for the amount of trust we have in each other, we can tell each other quite literally everything.. no exaggeration..
you fit me perfectly personality wise. we understand each other. i can talk to you about my interests, about my analyses of people, situations, and random things, without ever feeling like youre bored or just waiting for me to stop talking. in fact, you actively engage in those conversations even when its about things you dont know much about at all. you genuinely dont understand how much of a positive trait that is.
weve had our ups and downs, but instead of the typical “we had an argument so now we’re enemies forever” outcome, we both grew. we talked things through, stayed friends, and we havent had any real disagreements since. i honestly dont think i could ever stay mad at you, and if i ever am, it gets resolved in a blink of an eye. i trust that you would never talk badly about me, and i would never do that to you either. no one will ever replace you. youll always be my hashtag one.

i could go on and on about you and your personality, how you react to certain things, etc. and obviously you know that. i do think, however, that there isnt a huge need for all that, so ill simply mention parts about you that i personally favor alot. ofcourse i adore all of you though.
something that i cant appreciate enough is how honest u are with me. no bias, nothing, especially during that one situation which i wont be diving into here. youre blunt if you have to be, especially when ure worried about someone you care about deeply. when i was genuinely hurt during that situation, and mistakenly gave that person a second chance which they didnt even properly appreciate, you didnt immediately change ur mind just to make me happy. you were honest, you told me that people like that never change. you kept your promise that if i were to suddenly want to forgive, youd remind me of how hurt i was because of them. And thank you for that, seriously. even if you ended up being harsh in the beginning, i understood where you were coming from. i knew that you just wanted the best for me. i still feel silly about the fact that i doubted you, and thought that maybe youre just overreacting, that things will get better between me and them.. but ive learned my lesson.
i have to once again mention this considering how rare of a trait it is nowadays.. you care about others and are willing to change your bad ways for them. you worked on yourself when i told you that certain things you did hurt me, and thats amazing. you didnt take critique personally, but as actual advice on how to be better. i have zero complaints about you now, really. anyone that were to become your friend in the future better appreciate you to the fullest, and if they dont, theyre not worth the time. whenever we had disagreements, you never walked away and gave up entirely. we had a chance to talk it out. youre the first person ive met thats ever done that.
and ofcourse your humor. the day we met weve already hit off when it comes to the way we joke. i dont have to have any filter with you and i LOVE that. you get me and i get you, i can be as random as i want and youll have a perfect, fitting response that makes my joke even funnier than it was beforehand. it makes hanging out with you better than ever, if thats even possible.
But also, just how smart and mature you really are. weve said this before but you now and the you when we first met are like two other people. youre way more aware of your, and others’ behaviors now and tend to make more rational decisions than you did before. youve discovered many new things about yourself throughout this year and im glad i could have helped you with that. honestly im just glad that i affected you in a positive way in general, and i really hope that youll continue to improve.

throughout our friendship, weve been through a lot together. weve met so many people, had our fair share of toxic or simply nonworking relationships, and through all of that, we still stuck to each other. i often think back to the time when you were dating your now ex girlfriend. from very early on you trusted me enough to talk to me about what was troubling you in that relationship. i genuinely took that as a compliment. it meant a lot to me that you saw me as someone trustworthy so quickly, and that i could help you realize that the healthiest thing you could do at that point was to let go and move on. i want you to know that i will never break that trust, phil. no matter what happens between us, i would never expose the things you trusted me with. i value you far too much for that. it honestly hurts knowing that some of the people you tried to build friendships with didnt value you in the same way. i really do hope that your ex eventually realizes what kind of person she lost.

but i also want to thank you for being there for me when i was going through a difficult time and struggling to end a friendship with someone i simply couldnt handle being around anymore. i felt like i was just another friend they picked up when they were bored, and you reassured me that i wasnt, that they werent worth my time. i did end up giving them a second chance out of overwhelm and pressure, especially when other people got involved and things turned uncomfortable, but once i finally saw the full picture, i ended it for good. during that time, i felt cornered and unsure of what to do, and i promised myself i wouldnt let that happen again. especially not now, when i have such an amazing friend by my side. someone who will always be honest with me, who isnt afraid to tell me when im doing something wrong, and who helps guide me in the right direction, just like i try to do for you as well. it genuinely makes me smile knowing that we can support each other like this, especially during hard times. <3

i wont look at ur imperfections, flaws or insecurities and forever will accept you for who you are. i will love you for you, ill always make time to hangout with you no wonder if im busy or not, and you dont know how joyous i feel knowing that i have someone thatll return the effort i put into the friendship the same exact amount. that i have someone thatll always be there for me in my best and in my worst, and that i can be here for you in such moments as well. im always going to be here for you, whenever you need someone to talk to, to lean a shoulder on. you dont need to burden yourself with your problems alone, phil. when its going to be too much for you to handle, ill always be by your side to help you as much as i can. sometimes i dont even notice, but whenever i text with you and were cracking jokes i always start smiling, sometimes even giggling outloud.. occasionaly to the point where my cheeks start hurting. ive had my mom ask multiple times who im texting with since my mood always brightens so much whenever i do and each time its the same answer ‘oh that friend from that one city’. isnt it crazy that she knows you by name now even though we havent even met in real life?
on the topic of meeting in real life, i cant wait to actually do that with you someday. the fact that we live like.. a train or two away from eachother is INSANE to me. i honestly expected you to live at the other end of poland so learning that you live in the same city ive visited with my mom in summer was like ,, wow? really, i cant wait to take you to that ice cream place with the sernik flavor. its SO good dude.. or to that kebab place that always gets me full.. or to the place where me and my mom usually order pizzas from. their pizzas are SO massive and we never manage to eat all of it in a day. maybe you would since youre such a bigback

ofcourse, phil, i cant actually promise you a perfect friendship. even though we havent had an argument or disagreements in such a long while now, especially since we now know how to actually communicate with eachother properly and know eachothers boundaries and preferences, theres always going to be some sort of disagreement eventually. and thats okay, cause its normal. thats what happens in friendships. i can however promise you that ill always love you forever. as a best friend that has stuck by me during times ive felt down and needed support. youre one of the people that i wouldnt mind losing sleep for, the one who i can never get tired of talking to, and the one who crosses my mind constantly throughout the day. as ive mentioned before, words arent enough to describe just how much i adore you. youre the one person who im genuinely afraid of losing. i hope it showed when we had that one, very childish argument. where you started feeling intense emotions and unfriended me impulsively. i couldnt just accept that. that you could be gone from my life just like that. it was only half a year weve been friends at that time and i was still stressing out not knowing if youd actually accept my alt accounts friend request or not. im glad you did though, and that we, like always, resolved it like two mature people. the whole situation still makes me laugh now and its rlly fun to crack jokes about it. honestly im happy that happened though, cause i think that proved more than anything that no matter what happens, ill still try to get back to you. and i hope, no, i know, that somehow, youd also contact me.

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i dont think i need some perfect ending for this, cause what we have doesnt need to be wrapped up neatly. i just wanted this to exist, somewhere, as proof of how much you matter to me and how grateful i am that we found eachother. thank you for staying, for caring, and for being the kind of person i feel safe around. im really glad youre in my life, philip. always will be.