happy birthday, my love ♡
i cant believe i get a day to celebrate your beautiful existence. what a miracle you are.

theres so much i want to say, really. where do i even start? i can say lots of things, but all of them can be summarized in one: i wish i was right beside you, watching that smile of yours blossom. id like to be the one who's reading this to you right now instead of your cute inside voice. but, sigh, the pain of long distance...

these past few months have passed so quickly, and yet, theyve felt like years of us being together. i really cant remember a life without you around, not even a day without you popping into my mind. and while you read these paragraphs ive written about you, i want to remind you of the lasting impact youve made on me. every day since youve been here has felt like my childhood all over again, like a perfect dream, a dream i never want to wake up from. it's amazing how, by just existing, you make every second of my life worth it. i feel blessed to know how utterly perfect you are for me, and for everyone else who gets to sense your presence.
you're truly one of a kind.

besides the incredible stroke of luck i had when i met you, youre more than perfect without me around, even if you try to deny it. anyone can tell just what a beautiful person you are. some may be brave enough to tell you, and some may not, but its true nonetheless. as independent as one can be, in my opinion, every single person on earth deserves someone like you. every person needs someone else to make them whole: and youre the flawless example of that 'someone'.

since I met you, I haven't had any bad days. maybe a difficult day, but never a truly bad one. you're always there to support me. and when i say 'always there', i dont mean just when you're online and talking to me.
i mean always. i find my ways to feel you near me, or somehow, you find your way to be here with me. that little amber i keep in my pocket, for instance, helps me calm down and manage my thoughts. the colors remind me of what i think your eyes would look like if a ray of sunlight hit them right. when im nervous, i try my best and find a place where i can admire the sky, and feel it admiring me back, like i know exactly how it'd feel to be consoled by you. laying down and wrapping myself in my blanket as much as i can makes me feel safe: because it's how i imagine talking to you feels. not only listening to what you have to say, but noticing every little mannerism you have and easily finding beauty in all of them. see what i mean?

youll never truly understand what youve done to me as a person. and i hope you never do, because i love to explain it and see how excited you get when i tell you.
as im sure you know by now, im not a happy person at all. you only know me from your perspective, from when you first met me to the moment youre reading this, and you might think you havent impacted me much: but i can tell you, its much more than that.
before you, life didnt feel like my life. it felt like i was being controlled to do whatever people wanted all the time, like i had no free thoughts. before you, i was silent. i couldnt speak for myself, i wasnt brave enough, and i didnt have the confidence to even try to do so. before you, i saw everything in pure black and white.

the exact day i met you (which, to me, is the day we first interacted, even if we hadnt spoken personally) i felt a spark. small, but i was sure it was something new. something deep inside my heart shined through, and it let me blossom into the person i am now. every day that passed, i felt it more and more. every breath, every step i took, every little blink felt like lightning right through my bones. while trying to be more deserving of you, i ended up being all ive ever wanted to be.
i knew it wasnt normal to feel my stomach flip whenever i thought about you, but i didnt doubt it for one second. i knew this feeling wasnt wrong, and i know it now. its the purest form of love there is, isnt it?
not love at first sight, not at all; the simple art of slowly falling in love with every single part of someone, and ending up finding yourself in each one of them.
you saved me without even noticing it.

theres not enough words in this language or my native language to express the love I feel for you. hopefully, in one of the millions and millions of timelines im sure ill live with you by my side, ill find a way to tell you.
i know maybe its a lot, maybe im exaggerating, maybe i shouldnt rush it. but i dont care. i want to love you as hard as i can, with every single nerve in my body.

when other people talk about love; it feels so shallow to me. talking so casually and calmly, as if they hadn't met the absolute love of their life. its so obvious that most of them don't feel true love for their partners either.
and to me, thats insane. all day, i wonder if people feel love as i do. just by looking at the sky, shades of blue and pink fused together, some days cloudy and some not, my stomach flutters with the thought of you looking over me. just by imagining you beside me, my fingers slowly threading with yours, i feel warmth in my chest, no matter if it's cold where i am or not. just by closing my eyes, and dreaming about a future with you, a future filled with beautiful intertwined memories we'll get to remember together, i feel infinitely patient.
ill wait a lifetime to stare into your eyes, eyes where i know ill see my own love projected back to me, in the most caring way there is.

i want to know everything that makes you sad: not necessarily to fix all of them, but to be by your side while you manage them, because i know youre strong enough. i want my own heart to know how fast yours beats: and try to match up with it. i want to talk and talk and talk about you until i cant put any of my feelings into words. i want to love you loud enough that its heard in every little corner of this boundless universe, and i want every little thing to listen. i want to feel your fingers pressed against mine. i want to fall in love with you over and over again. i want our souls to meet.
and especially, i want someone or something, maybe a million years in the future, to find the traces we left behind. a carving on a table, our initials, or even a place we used to call ours. i want them to become curious; i want them to learn. we'll exist in memories as long as you'd like. because love's end isnt death; its oblivion.

today, 25th of july, i love you. and ill love you tomorrow, and the day after that, and next week. in 5 months, ill love you as well, just like i loved you yesterday. even 30 years from now, my face all wrinkly, ill think about you, and ill love you like the first day we met. i can only hope you'll be there to love me too. i will love you, no matter what.

and... thats it ! happy bday mwah >.<

...

just kidding!

choose one of 3 buttons and click ♡