Space Fuck-ups
Report 22: Accidental Discovery of Alien Artifact at Lambda Station
Official Report
Location: Lambda Shael Station
Summary:
During a routine docking procedure, an maintenance crew accidentally discovered an ancient alien artifact embedded in the station’s hull. The artifact was safely extracted and turned over to the station authorities, who confirmed its historical significance.
Damage:
None reported.
Notes:
Artifact origin traced back to a lost civilization.
Personal Note:
- "They just stumbled upon this thing while docking. Pure luck or maybe just crazy good instincts. Either way, this guy with white hair keeps stalking me about that artifact. Please call security." - Station Curator Dr. Harlow
Report 21: Unscheduled Battlebot Tournament at Kappa-4 Spaceport
Official Report
Location: Kappa-4 Spaceport
Summary:
An unsanctioned battlebot tournament took place in one of the spaceport’s cargo bays, organized by a group of unidentified individuals. The tournament attracted a large crowd and featured highly advanced combat robots. The event ended abruptly with the arrival of security forces.
Damage:
Minor damage to cargo bay.Several security drones incapacitated.
Notes:
Participants included a young male with long black hair wearing a robot costume made of cardboard.Combat robots exhibited sophisticated AI and engineering.
Personal Note:
- "The kid in the costume was pretending to be a robot and fighitng in the ring. It was like a scene out of an old holo-flick." - Dockmaster Rina
Report 17: Spontaneous Zero-G Skating at Haven Station
Official Report
Location: Haven Station
Summary:
A group of unidentified individuals was observed engaging in zero-G skating in the station's maintenance corridors, using modified mag boots and repurposed cleaning drones for propulsion. The impromptu event caused temporary chaos but left no lasting damage.
Damage:
None reported.
Notes:
Participants included a young female with glasses and a male in a floral shirt.
Personal Note:
- "One minute, I'm doing my rounds; the next, I'm dodging what looks like a space rodeo. No harm done, but I haven't laughed that hard in a while." - Security Officer Vega
Report 18: Unorthodox Ship Refueling at Gael Ter Outpost
Official Report
Location: Gael Ter Outpost
Summary:
An unauthorized crew managed to refuel their ship using an improvised siphoning rig, extracting fuel from the station’s auxiliary tanks without permission. Despite the unorthodox method, the refueling was executed flawlessly, and the crew departed without incident.
Damage:
Temporary depletion of auxiliary fuel reserves.
Notes:
Engineer described as a female with short brown hair and glasses.Siphoning rig left behind, showcasing advanced engineering skills.
Personal Note:
"They drained half our reserves without setting off a single alarm. Annoying as hell, but I have to respect the ingenuity." - Station Quartermaster Donahue
Report 8: Prank Gone Wrong at Nexial Hes Trade Hub
Official Report
Location: Nexial Hes Trade Hub
Summary:
An unidentified crew pulled a prank at the Nexus Trade Hub, which resulted in significant disruption to the station's operations. The prank involved reprogramming cleaning droids to dance and sing obnoxiously loud songs, causing widespread annoyance and hindering trade activities.
Damage:
Six cleaning droids reprogrammed.Numerous complaints from traders and visitors.Temporary suspension of trade activities.
Notes:
- Witnesses reported seeing a floral-patterned shirt on one of the pranksters, and another wearing a wide-brimmed hat.
Personal Complaint:
"I get it, kids like to have fun, but when your cleaning droid serenades you with ‘Space Cowboy’ while you're trying to close a deal, it’s just too much." - Trader Lorna
Report 7: Bar Fight at Vega Prime Station
Official Report
Location: Vega Prime Station, Canteen
Summary:
A bar fight broke out at Vega Prime Station Canteen involving an unidentified crew. The altercation began when the cowboy, suspected to be the captain, refused to pay for a drink. The engineer, suspected to be suffering from Psi poisoning, exacerbated the situation by tampering with the bar’s electronic systems.
Damage:
Three tables destroyed.One holographic projector malfunctioned.Several patrons sustained minor injuries.
Notes:
The hazardous suit-wearing individual was seen trying to calm the situation but ended up contributing to the chaos by accidentally discharging his weapon.The engineer’s tampering led to a temporary shutdown of the bar’s entire system.
Personal Complaint:
"If I see that space cowboy and his nutty friends in here again, I'm closing the bar for good. Can’t even have a quiet drink anymore!" - Bartender Joe