Frism Schism
The morning sun streams through my window as I slowly begin to wake up, cozy in my makeshift bed of cotton. While it was still a far cry from the bed I enjoyed as a human, it was worlds better than hay. “Mornin', Wooper!” I wasn't usually this cheerful after waking up, but I've just had the best night's sleep of my life.
Wooper pokes his head out of the bundle of cotton I had set out for him. “This really IS way better than hay!”
“Told you! I dunno what on earth that guildmaster's thinking. Seriously, I KNOW he used to be human, there's no way he doesn't know how much hay sucks. The least he could have done is get a bunch of leaves or something. I'd like to give him a little piece of my m-”
My train of thought is derailed by a loud thumping sound coming from the room's door, followed by a deafening “FBI OPEN UP!”
Instinctively I leap up and grab Wooper with my vines, pointing him forward like a gun. “It's the feds! COME AND GET IT, GLOWIE SCUM!”
“What's gotten into you, Chespin?” Wooper looks back at me, still being held in midair. Realizing where I am, I set him down, feeling a little embarrassed at my reaction.
“Ahaha...it's gotta just be one of the other guildmates thinking they're funny.”
“What's a 'fed'? Are they hungry?”
“Don't worry about that, it's just some stupid human thing. C'mon, let's see who that was.”
As I open the door, I see nobody there. Looking down, I feel a little sick as I spot a lone Frism laying on the floor. Giving it a quick rub, my eardrums are blown out by the thumping and calls of federal agents. Quickly looking for my bag, I see that someone took my Frisms! “How could I be so stupid? I know what these things can do, and I brought a ton of them here!” Stuffing the Frism into my bag, I set out to find the culprit. If I don't get all of my Frisms back, there's no telling the kind of damage one lone prankster could cause with them!
Venturing to the kitchen for a small breakfast, I hear a loud, booming voice right outside of the door. “I FOUND A BUNCH OF HAIR IN MY SOUP, I'M TELLING THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT ON YOU”
The door flies open, an angry Munchlax in an apron on the other side. “WHAT ON EARTH IS A HEALTH DEPARTMENT?! Can't a single one of you freaks cut me a break for once?” Taking notice of me, he lowers his voice. “Oh, it's you. Did you hear that too?”
“Someone got you too, huh Beast?
“Got me?”
Searching around the door, I spot another Frism between a set of drawers and the wall. Rubbing it, the food complaint plays once more, echoing throughout the hall.
“What is that thing?”
“It's a Frism. It can record what you say, and when it warms up it plays back what you said into it.”
Beast looks unamused. “Oh. Well I don't like them. Just another way for these lunatics to harass others.”
“I'm sorry, this is all my fault! This was the treasure I found yesterday and I brought it all back here before I realized just what nutcases I live around! Here, look how someone decided to repay me for collecting these.” I rub the Frism left outside my door once more, the threat of government agents bellowing forth once more. “I gotta find who has the rest of these, and fast!”
Beast grabs a few berries from a drawer, tossing them towards me. “No point regretting it right now. Here, this'll keep you going for a bit.” Thanking him, I set out to find the culprit. I've got to get my Frisms back!
As I walk through the guild halls, I'm assaulted with all manner of tired memes spewing forth from Frisms scattered everywhere.
“The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is-”
“Because of the short length of your ban, you may not appeal it.”
“The dimensional merge is real!”
Normally I'd just shrug all of this off, but this was different. This is all happening because I was too careless with these Frisms. A Mareep, Phanpy, and Torchic poke their heads out of their rooms, confused. It was pretty clear that none of them had anything to do with this. As I reach the end of the hall, I hear “Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!” ring out. Okay, they've crossed a line now!
I kick the final door open, shouting “YOU'VE DONE IT NOW! GIMME BACK MY FRISMS OR ELSE!”
Inside, I notice a gray Meowth storing away the guild's money. He gives me a sly look as he stands up. Shaking his head, he says “Accusing me of stealing your little trinkets? Gee, you'd think guild members would be more trusting of one another.”
“The trail of Frisms ends here, and I found this right outside this room! You'd better confess!” Trying to make a point, I warm the last Frism I picked up, letting the horrible message play.
Chuckling, the Meowth simply says “Heh, looks like someone's pranked ya good! By the way, you deaf too? That ain't my voice. Listen again, that's a girl's voice!” I let the Frism play once more and sure enough, I can tell it's not him.
I feel very guilty for judging him so quickly. I was so focused on finding the culprit that I leapt to conclusions! “I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just...T-These things are dangerous in the wrong hands!”
“Relax, kiddo. Nothin' wrong with a little prank every now and then. Anyways, don't be too hard on whoever did it when you find 'em. Seriously, ya gotta lighten up a little. Have some fun with those magic little toys, play a little prank back onto 'em!” Apologizing once more for my false accusation, I run out of the room, hoping I can find the Frism thief before this gets even more out of hand!
I rush out of the guild, frantically looking around for any sign of something amiss. Peeking around the sides of the guild building, I see a burning tail sticking out from the corner. Getting to the ground, I slowly crawl over, doing my best to keep quiet. Finally close enough, I peer around the corner.
I see a bag with a few small icy trinkets resting against a wall. My Frisms! Right next to that is a Charmander holding one of them. She's the culprit! She brings it close to her mouth, shouting “THIS RECORDING IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY OUR SPONSO-”
Enough is enough, I'm not letting her finish that message! Jumping up, I shoot a vine forward, snatching back the Frism. “YOU! You're the one that's been going around the guild hall with MY Frisms leaving all of these pranks for everybody! What do you have to say for yourself? Huh?!”
To my surprise, she doesn't feign innocence or beg forgiveness. Instead, she begins to laugh uncontrollably. She laughs until tears begin to form in her eyes. It takes her a minute or so for her to compose herself enough to respond.
“Ahahaha, It's just...Frisms are real and you had so many of them! How could anybody see those and NOT want to have a little fun with them!”
Snatching the rest of the Frisms, I say “You woke me up with the threat of government spooks! You should know that that's gonna set a bunch of us on edge!”
The Charmander's laughter redoubles. “Pfff, that kinda thing's funny and you know it!”
Something about her fit of giggling makes me pause. She did steal the Frisms, but it wasn't as though she was trying to sell them or anything. It was just her warped idea of a prank. Thinking on it more, the wakeup call from the feds actually was kinda funny. I can't help but join her, laughing a little. “You got me there! But it woulda been funnier if you saved that one for the guildmaster.”
“Oh shoot, the guildmaster! Does he know about this?”
I shake my head. “Not as far as I know.”
“Look, I'm sorry I stole your Frisms, but can I keep just one? Trust me, it'd be funny to get him with one of these.”
I think on it for a few moments. “Well...Ah, why not? But it better be good!”
“Thanks a ton! I'll wait a few days before planting this near his room, just long enough so others won't instantly think it's a Frism.” With that, the Charmander heads off into town.
Having recovered my Frisms, I return to my bedroom, where Wooper is getting a bit more sleep on his new cotton “bed.” Placing my bag nearby, I climb into my own “bed” as well. After all, there's nothing wrong with a little mid-morning nap after all of that, is there? Just as I'm about to drift off to sleep once more, I hear a faint voice come from one lone Frism I spot in the corner of my room, the final one that was left unaccounted for. What I hear makes me groan aloud, knowing that that Charmander got the best of me once again!
“The game."