Xu's (Public) Diary. ~ The Loneliest poet.. Loneliest cleric.

I'll miss you like the sun misses its moon. I know I'm supposed to be over you like you're over me but I cannot fathom our relationship ending so quickly. I’ll still be here, waiting. I was done waiting for your replies so I decided to take action and cut you off. Maybe in another universe I didn’t have to be gay. I still miss you, I miss talking to you day from night. I just wonder what does someone new have that I don’t. I never cared as much about anyone than I did with you. I know you didn’t hurt me on purpose (at least im pretty sure) but I’m really hurt with what with you did. You’re the only person I wrote true and sincere poetry to. I still desire you in every way possible. The good, the bad, the ugly. Even when its foreign again you’re on my mind. Love is a kaleidoscope. I probably won’t date you again, and I’m sorry. As much as I miss you you’ve hurt me twice. I hate being the one who's deeply in love with you and it so happened for you leaving me, AGAIN. A second time. I wish you knew what this felt like, but you don’t. Seeing you with MY attributes hurts. I loved you but it feels like you trashed everything away. I hope you’re not seeing this, since it’d be embarrassing. If you saw this side of me you’d probably hate me more than you do already. I know im probably insufferable to you, nonetheless I still miss you and love you. I basically formed you (Not to be dramatic but it feels that way to me.) Looking at your reposts everyday killed me knowing they weren’t about me. If we ever do actually make up I hope its for the last time. You’re all I crave and miss. I try talking to new people but they never have that spark that you do. I miss you. You you you. You’re beauty, You’re green eyes that hid secrets from me. I’ll miss you even though you are already over me. Please, live on. You know you wouldn’t do anything to yourself because of me. Deep down you don’t care about me. I wish you did. I loved you more than anything and I will keep it that way, even with new people I’ll miss what we had. You never made me feel bad about myself until we broke things off. Thank you for everything. Maybe I am you’re paladin still.