You made your way up the gravel path, double checking your phone to make sure you had the right place. Sure enough, the numbers on the house matched your text.
After climbing up a small set of stairs, you step up to the front door and knock. You touch your side pocket to make sure you remembered the gift. You stand around, tracing the bushes that lined the house while you waited. After getting no response, you knock again, louder this time. You're answered once again with silence. "She said she would be home by this time..." You climbed back down the stairs and made your way to the side of the house. "Hello? Is anyone home?" As you called out, you noticed that the gate to the backyard was left ajar. "Maybe she's back here?" Against your better judgement, you pushed it open and cautiously entered.

The yard appeared free of people, with the only things of note you see being a large garden and a wooden shed. The back door slider catches your eye, maybe you could take a peek inside to see if she's home.
With your face pushed against the glass, you look around inside for a sign that she might be home.
"What are you doing in my yard you creep!" a voice calls out behind you. You turn around to see Name, with a garden hose spray nozzle pointed right at your head.
"Don't try anything funny, or I'll shoot you! I mean it!"
You throw your hands up "Whoa, hold on! It's me! I messaged you that we needed signatures for Kronii's get well soon card today, remember?"
You pull the card out of your pocket and hold it out for her to see.
She narrows her eyes and slowly lowers the hose.
"I said I could sign it, but that doesn't mean you can break into my backyard you weirdo."
"You're right, sorry. It's just you didn't answer the door, and it looked like your gate was open, so..."
You trailed off as Name patted dirt off her clothes. She was dressed in overalls, a long-sleeve shirt, and a sunhat with horns on the top.
"Were you doing some gardening?"
She tenses up "Uh, yeah... yeah I was..." her eyes wonder off and her face goes flush.
Curious about her strange reaction, you looked past her towards the garden. It was well maintained, with neat rows of tall, green bushes. Looking more closely, you notice these plants had suspicious buds growing on top, and sharp, pointy leaves.
Name's eyes widen as she reads the pensive expression on your face.
"Are you growing we-"
"D-don't look at those!" She quickly runs up and covers your eyes with her hands "They're ferns, okay?! FERNS!"
"Whoa hey- what's the matter with you?!"
"We can sign the card inside! C'mon!" she says as she pushes you towards the sliding door of the house.

Inside, you gingerly sit down in your chair at the dining room table, as Name plops down in the one across from you. She glared at you, arms crossed and pouting.
"You heard me, right? They're just ferns."
"Okay, I heard you, I guess I was mistaken. You're the gardener here after all. What would I know about plants?" Name pulls a handkerchief out of her pocket and hands it to you. You use it to wipe off the dirt that was rubbed onto your face.
"They just looked like a certain plant that has, what was it called? "CBT"?"
"...CBD" Name sits up in her chair "it's called CBD"
"Yeah, CBD. I've heard that it's like weed without the side effects?"
"That's right!" Her eyes lit up "CBD can actually turn off your CB1 receptors, so THC is unable to bind! Oh, THC is the chemical that makes you feel high, by the way! It's already been used to treat epilepsy!"
She slams her hands on the table and leans towards you "But that's not all! It can also reduce anxiety, insomnia, and nausea from chemotherapy! It's even been shown to stop cancer cells from growing! And did you know that it can be used for skin care!"
"...wow, you uh, sure know a lot about it, huh?" You said, taken aback by her sudden burst of enthusiasm.
Her face turned as red as an aka supa as her smile slipped off her face "Th-thats not true! I just... read it somewhere! We all learned about it in highschool, remember!?"
She stuck her hand out and turned away to hide her face "Whatever! Forget I said anything! Can I please see the card so I can sign it?"
"Right, the card" You fish the card along with a pen out of your pocket and hand them over. Her eyes narrowed as she read the cover.
""Get well soon Grandma"?" She frowned "I'm not sure this will make her feel better..."
"I looked, but I couldn't find any good time-related cards, so this is the best I could do. Plus it's the thought that counts, ya know?"
"I guess you're right..." She jotted her name down next to the others.
"Oh yeah, I also got her these" You reach into your pocket and pull out a tin of Altoids.
Name takes the tin and weighs it in her hand. "Hmmm. Maybe you should get her a bigger size? With how little she cooks, she's sure to run out fast. This feels like about only 10.5 grams of food?"
You can't hide the look of surprise that appears on your face.
She furrows her brow "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"You can tell how much it weighs that accurately just by holding it? Wow, that's amazing! What do you do for a living?
"What do you mean! I just... read the packaging, see!?" She points to the packaging. Sure enough, it was exactly 10.5 grams
"And there's no way I'm telling you where I work! You could dox me!"
"But I'm litteraly in your house?"
"Nevermind! I signed the card, so can you please leave! I have a lot of work I need to get done!" she says as she pushes you towards the front door
"Oh, I can help out if you want?"
"No, thank you for the offer but I can do it myself" she huffs as you both reach the door
"Well, if you insist" You repocket the gifts and reach for the door handle. "Thanks for the help, I guess I'll be heading out the-"
Before you can finish, Name clings on to the back of your shirt.
"Name?" She was staring down at the ground, the brim of her hat blocking her eyes
"...promise you won't tell anyone about what you saw today?" Her hand trembled as she spoke
You stared at her for a few moments, then brought your hand down on her head and ruffled her hat.
"H-hey! What was that for?"
"I promise I won't tell anyone"
She clasped her hands together "Really?"
"Hmm... actually nah, I think I'll superchat Kronii about it"
"NOOO DON'T YOU IDIOT!" she cried as she started pounding away at your back.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I just wanted to see your reaction!"
"Ugh, you're such meanie! You and everyone else are always teasing me!"
You feel a little bad about messing with Name when she was nice enough to help with Kronii's gift. You wonder what you could do to return the favor.
"How about this: as a thank you for helping me today, I'll throw together a KroFau fic for you. Deal?"
She crossed her arms. "...fine. But it has to be romantic"
"Alright, I'll make it romantic"
"Make it cute too"
"Got it, romantic and cute"
"And I want lots of fluff"
"Okay, I'll add some in"
"And it must be properly formatted, tagged, and uploaded to archiveofourown"
"Uhh okay?"
"And it must have a minimum of 5000 words"
"Wait is that a normal amount or-"
"And I want it done by the end of the week"
"..."
"Then we have a deal!" She flashes you a triumphant smile and sticks out her hand.
"Great, I just gave myself a homework assignment" you think as you shake the cheeky IRyStocrat's hand.

"Well then, have a safe drive! And be sure to tell Kronii I said Nameste~"
Name waves you goodbye as you make your way back to your car.
It was only the third stop of the day, but you already managed to make even more work for yourself.
"Three down, twenty more to go... I should have asked for some of those "ferns"..." you think to yourself as you drive away.