Name: Rasmus
Species: Spinarak
Nature: Rash
Summary: Born and raised in the most barren corner of Foggy Forest, this hot tempered spider uses his webs and wits to plunder enough treasure together to reach his well earned retirement from roof tiling. Though generally affable around people he likes, some would describe him as sleazy, crass and more bark than bite. His skills as a trapper are worthwhile on any adventure, as long as you feed his ego every now and then.
Rasmus and the Riddle of the Coral Monument
The First Clover Guild Story by Duck
“What once was life but now is waste, this barren ground must be replaced.”
“I repeat myself again. These grounds are not for outsiders to defile.”
“CAN IT FISHFACE! I wouldn’t be barkin’ orders if I were in your shoes!”
A small green figure descends into the view of the captive’s line of sight, suspended by a thin, glistening line of silk. Its mandibles grind together in a visceral frustration.
“Have you not plundered enough from us? Have you no reverence for our sanctuary?”
“I have reverence for keeping my ass off the streets, now cough up the answers or I’m grabbin’ another Souvenir off your slimy hide!”
“Prod at me all you like, thief. I-”
Without pause, the great sea serpent’s mouth is glued shut by the intruder’s natural adhesive, which holds it hostage against the brilliant glass walls of the prismatic, underwater treasure chamber. Her tail flails and slams against her bindings as Rasmus, part time tomb raider, full time roof tiler, uses the thin needle on his head to pry another marvelous scale off of his captive.
“Chicks go gaga for Milotic scales, y’know. Make ‘em into handbags and everything. ‘S fucked up, heh heh.”
What once was life but now is waste, this barren ground must be replaced.
These are the words etched into the towering monument sitting in the center, a collage of branching coral that spiraled up into the domed ceiling. That confounding riddle is the only thing between him and the motherload inside, but Rasmus never had much patience for brain teasers, nor was the statue’s guardian willing to give up the solution, or even a hint for that matter.
“Life… Then waste… waste, wasted… Aha! Rasmus you’ve done it again old boy!”
The spider’s neck twists towards the serpent, his voidlike eyes scanning the hostage.
“Tell me toots. You know how much one drop of Spinarak venom can fuck someone’s lungs up?”
“You mean to KILL me, creature? Are all surface dwellers so barbaric?!”
“Jeez… Speak for yourself, someone’s gotta bite the dust to get the loot, and I'm not the one stuck to the wall right now.”
“You think us savage enough to turn to SACRIFICE? If you had studied our sacred land for one moment, you wo-”
“SACRED THIS, SACRED THAT! It’s a pile of rocks in the goddamn ocean! I’ll show you what I think of your sacred fuckin’ land!”
Looking the serpent dead in the eye, boiling with disdain and hopeless frustration, Rasmus shows his captive, and the floor, exactly how he feels. Dark yellow, dehydrated piss pools up from under the spider’s legs and onto the vexing coral monument.
“You better make sure to save that when I’m gone cause it’s worth a WHOLE lot more than your-”
A rumbling, and then a click. A small, secret compartment flicks open on the side of the monument. Inside, a glistening pearl, so polished you could see your reflection.
“...ahhh, life to waste, water, piss… I’m a fuckin’ genius.”
His prizes tucked safely into his pouch, Rasmus gives the defeated Milotic one last shit eating grin before scurrying off into the distance.