“ Right from the beginning. One second. ” ...

I may occasionally go back and leave newer notes on older episodes, hence the comment dates being separate from the episode headers. I've placed a little...notebook sort of emoji...next to the title of my favourite episodes. I've set up a way to let my aforementioned boyfriend and good friend edit this page if they like. As of writing, I'm going back and leaving my comments, so the dates for anything older than MAG 44 will likely be...very out of order. I'll also occasionally copy my favuorite bits of the transcript here, just for reference and...you know. Fun. I've also marked episodes with silly dialogue and stuff with a pen emoji.

“ Last three digits of the year, then the day, then the month. I don’t know why she did it like that, but I can’t change it now. ” ...

MAG 56 Children of the Night ✒️

0260202 IT WAS A FAKE OUT. THAT IS SO SILLY. I've just started it as of typing this, and I'm very excited, as this is one of my favourite earlier episodes. Trevor Hebert is my actual goat I just love him so much. Gosh. HE SWITCHED TO IT/ITS. SO BEAUTIFUL (see q 1). OHHH YEAH I KNEW this season would be spiders. Since Jon first saw one Oh my gosh thats so hype. And the webs in the basement. KYAAA. HER BODY WAS FULL OF COBWEBS. THAT'S SOOOO COOL....

See Q 2 goated that he's acknowledging stuff happening two him...

Okay so I just had to pause it Um because Jon is yelling at Martin for literally no reason and I'm going to kill myself. This is difficult. This is so difficult. What the hell is his PROBLEM. GAHHHH. "Oh, sorry!" GAHHH MARTIN. Oh my gosh I'm going to kill myself. I can't do this. Jon is. Oh my gosh. This is awful. Oh my god. OH MY GOSH MARTIN LIED ON HIS CV. OHHH MY GOSH. GOSH THIS IS SO HADHFHHHADHADHSA. JON. AHHHHAHDHAHAHAHAHA. Right, Ah, I...ah....I BELIEVE YOU. OH MY GOD. I'M SO HAPPY. JON IS SO HAPPY. HE DOESNT CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT!!!! HE DOESN'T CARE LITERALLY AT ALL. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I am trying very hard to not like look stupid typing this in my class right now. But oh my Gosh. Oh my god. Fuck everything I Love them So much Oh my god. I need to paste that entire thing here because I'm going to kill myself if I don't reread that like...1 billion times. Oh my god. Wow. JonMartin Peak. Jesus Christ.

Jon is just so embarassing. That was all so difficult to listen to. Jon is just such a menace. I mean its like..probably not his fault, You Know, but it doesn't help that he's seemingly Always been a menace of sorts. I really like how Jon like is like "next to where you used to sleep, YOUR hand writing" when he clearly already admitted its his. LOL. [slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you. [slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you. Fuck everything.

[slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you.

• Q 1 Finally I got close enough to grab her by the arm. My fingers locked around her elbow, and then they sort of sunk inside. They didn’t go through the skin or anything but it sort of shifted beneath my fingers like when you squeeze an uncooked sausage.
• I could feel movement from inside the arm itself. It wasn’t a vampire but it definitely wasn’t human.
• Q 2 As for the spider person, the only proof of its existence seems to be that I am far too unlucky for it to simply be an old tramp hallucination.
• I need to have some words with Martin.
• Q 3 below
  [CLICK]
• ARCHIVIST
  Sit down.
• MARTIN
  What is–?
• ARCHIVIST
  Sit. Why did you lie to me about Trevor?
• MARTIN
  What?
• ARCHIVIST
  [agitated] Why did you tell me he was dead?
• MARTIN
  Sorry, who’s… who’s Trev–
• ARCHIVIST
  Trevor Herbert. The tramp? The vampire hunter. You told me he died.
• MARTIN
  [nervously] But I mean he… did. Didn’t he?
• ARCHIVIST
  Apparently not.
• MARTIN
  Oh! Sorry.
• ARCHIVIST
  Sorry?
• MARTIN
  I mean, I–I didn’t ever actually meet him. I just heard some of the other researchers mentioning it.
• ARCHIVIST
  [whispered] What?
• MARTIN
  Yeah, well, I could’ve sworn they said he died. I mean… maybe they just said he looks like death or something –
• ARCHIVIST
  [scoffs]
• MARTIN
  I really thought they said he was dead.
• ARCHIVIST
  [venomously] So that’s it. Just a misunderstanding.
• MARTIN
  [stammering] Yes. You seem to be taking this kind of personal–
• ARCHIVIST
  Because you nkeep lying to me, Martin!
• MARTIN
  About what?!
• ARCHIVIST
  I don’t know. But you are.
  [RUSTLING PAPER]
• MARTIN
  Where did you get that? Have you been going through the bin?
• ARCHIVIST
  It was in the old document room, just next to where you used to sleep. Your handwriting. “If the others find out I’ve been lying” – lying about what, Martin?
• MARTIN
  Look, just forget about it, okay? Please.
• ARCHIVIST
  I can’t forget it. Everyone in this place has so many goddamn secrets and I can’t trust a word you say. Not about this and not about Trevor –
• MARTIN
  John, just–
  [ARCHIVIST SLAMS ON DESK]
• ARCHIVIST
  [shouting] Martin!
• MARTIN
  Okay! Okay! Okay. Just… just… promise you won’t… fire me.
• ARCHIVIST
  [scoffing] Fire you – fine.
  [MARTIN TAKES DEEP BREATH]
• MARTIN
  I lied on my CV.
• ARCHIVIST
  …what.
• MARTIN
  I don’t have a master’s in parapsychology. I don’t even have a degree.
  I was 17, my mum, she had – she had some problems and I ended up dropping out of school trying to support us. I tried everything but nowhere was hiring, so I just kind of started to lie on my application, sending them out to just about anywhere.
  For some reason my lie about parapsychology got me an interview with Elias and – and then a job here. But most of my employment details are made up. I’m only 29.
• ARCHIVIST
  [slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you.
• MARTIN
  …why are you smiling?
• ARCHIVIST
  [audibly smiling] Yes, um, I jus… I won’t mention it to Elias. Just between us.
• MARTIN
  [hesitant] So you don’t mind?
• ARCHIVIST
  To be quite honest, Martin,, I’m really rather relieved.
  [CLICK]

MAG 55 Pest Control

0260102 so silly. i love this guy (see q 1 and 2).

See Q 3. I really umm. Well. I have a fear of ants. Its sort of bigger than that, I mean...I had bad trypophobia growing up, that originated from burrowing bugs. I've always been scared of ladybugs and ants in addition to this, mostly separately, as many of my houses were infested with these insects. As I got older, the ladybug thing turned more into a "flying insect" thing, but ants are still the worst...Well, anyway. This episode is hell. This is hell. I am in hell.

see q 4, oh my gosh. poor fucking thang. what is his problem. jeeezz. oh my gosh :( brah. why is he so sad. saddest man alive. fawk.

• Q 1 Wow! No, nothing like that. Just the smell, but, I mean, I’ll get to that.
• Q 2 I mean, I guess I could say killing things is sort of exerting control over them, but I’ve always felt that trying to sanitize my job is somehow a bit dishonest. Like trying to help people forget that what they’re actually doing is commissioning the deaths of creatures which we’ve deemed too disgusting or unhealthy to live.
• Q 3 I could see faint movement on the wooden floor as I looked around for the light switch. I found it quickly enough, and flicked it on to reveal exactly what I’d expected. Ants. I just hadn’t expected that many. And there were so very many of them.
• Q 4 below
• Supplemental.
• I… I don’t have much to report, actually. It’s been Halloween week, which means the research department is always inundated with statements. Most of them are patently false, but the volume means that they’ve called in the archive to assist with the overflow.
• It’s… been nice, actually. Disproving piles of nonsense felt good, like real work, not just driving myself to distraction with conspiracy theories and paranoia. I even got a good night’s sleep. I miss those days.
• End supplemental.

MAG 54 Still Life 📑

0260102 (see q 1) autism shoutout. huge. see q 2, SO FUCKING SPOOKY. SOOOO OOOO COOL. SEE Q 3 HOLY THIS SHIT IS SO SPOOKY AND AWESOME. FUCK. oh my gosh awww awww the jon (q 4). Q 5? LMFAO. WHAT IS HIS FUCKING DEAL. um. not huge on the eyes being cut out thing. it reminds me just a bit of jon, like, thats something he'd do. cuz he being #WATCHED.

• Q 1 It was a little bit disconcerting, but I have a cousin with autism so it wasn’t an entirely new situation to me.
• Q 2 “We’ve got one down here. Come on, I’ll show you.”
• Q 3 I recognized the glassy stare. The same eyes that gazed at me from a hundred sawdust filled sockets around the room.
• Q 4 I may not entirely trust my assistants but I won’t lose them.
• Q 5 below
  [CLICK]
• Supplemental.
• I broke into Gertrude’s flat.

MAG 53 Crusader ✒️

0260102 MARTIN YOU ARE SOOO CUTE. WOW (see q 3). Also, I am so glad that Gerturde is the goat she is. Big fan of her talking like Jon in her comments on this one, (see q 1 and 2).

• Q 1 Well, that was certainly useful.
• Q 2 Regardless, I have further follow-up of my own to do. My biggest concern right now is whatever creature Mr. Heller encountered down there. It was 56 years ago, but if it’s still alive, I should be careful. What was it? A guardian of some sort? Or perhaps… perhaps… it too was once an archivist.
• Q 3 Are we all destined to end up like Gertrude, just following the same path? I need to find out more about her. One thing’s becoming clear, though. She did not trust the Magnus Institute. Something that I can certainly sympathize–
  [DOOR OPENS]
• MARTIN
  Was just going down to the cafe, did you want a sandwich?
• ARCHIVIST
  Er, that depends. Are you are you going to keep hovering around me if I go to the canteen?
• MARTIN
  I just worry. You needed five stitches after you “accidentally” stabbed yourself with the bread knife. If you’re still claiming that’s what happened–
• ARCHIVIST
  I am.
• MARTIN
  – then you’ll forgive me for worrying when you use sharp knives.
• ARCHIVIST
  Fine. I’ll come with. Just give me a second to grab my coat.
• MARTIN
  Sure.

MAG 52 Exceptional Risk

0263101 (see q 1) jesus christ he's not real at all. this is difficult. i really like thinking about his scars though, they must look so interesting. and its...cool that they all match, right? like with the scars. i should relisten to that episode to make sure they all have the Same scars. they mustve commented something on it. (see q 2) he's so RIDICULOUS. this is just so ridiculous. shut UPPPP BRAHH

• Q1 below
• BASIRA
  Yeah. Oh, what’s the name of that helper of yours?
• ARCHIVIST
  Uh, Martin.
• BASIRA
  No, no – the hot one. He has scars like you, but kind of manages to pull them off –
• ARCHIVIST
  Yes, Tim.
• BASIRA
  Yeah, what’s his deal? He gave me the weirdest grin when I came in just now and like… the thumbs up?
• ARCHIVIST
  I… I wouldn’t worry about it.
• BASIRA
  No?
• ARCHIVIST
  [sigh] …he thinks we’re sort of… together?
• BASIRA
  Oh – Oh. Oh, no. You know I’m no –
• ARCHIVIST
  Yeah I know, me neither, he just got it in his head –
• BASIRA
  – I mean you’re nice and all –
• ARCHIVIST
  – yes – yes, no, I feel the same way.
• Q 2 No luck with any of my other leads yet, but at least I have another of Gertrude’s tapes. It’s always going to be a shot in the dark with them, but hopefully an informative one. I know the secret to her death is on one of them. It must be.

MAG 50 Foundations ✒️

0263001 see q 1, holy this shit is so peak. see q 2, ohhh my god. wow. jesus. wow...can someone get his ass? NOW? like? take him out? like? like Kill Jon? thanks.

• Q 1 “Balance,” he told me. “Equilibrium. The hardest thing for an architect to achieve. Symmetry is easy, but does not, in and of itself, result in balance. To stir the feelings of man, to create a small place of being divorced from the rest of the world, while still retaining that balance, is the true goal of the architect.”
• Q2 below
• ARCHIVIST
  She’s, uhhh. I’m, I’m helping her with some of the investigation. Off the record.
• TIM
  Oh.
  Ohhh.
  Say no more!
• ARCHIVIST
  Tim, wh-what are you –
• TIM
  Don’t worry, I’m cool. Good work, boss.
• ARCHIVIST
  Oh! No, Tim, that’s not what I – it’s really not like that –
• TIM
  [speaking over him] I’ll go see if I can dig anything else out on Scott, and I’ll let you know if she comes back.
  [DOOR CLOSES]
• ARCHIVIST
  That really isn’t what –
• [sigh] End supplemental.

MAG 49 The Butcher's Window

0263001 (explaining indie games to a tma fan) imagine a meat pit, (/ref)

MAG 47 The New Door 📑

0263001 OHHHH MY LORD OH MY LORD OH MY GOD. OHH MY GOD MICAHEL. holy shit i love michael so much. wow. like all of it. the cadence is so good. the distant laugh is so good. his lack of social skills is astounding. does michael have autism? i don't ermember when, but at some point, when i was listening to it for the first itme, i really did think "huh, this is like...really autistic.". i'll have to find what that is in a second. ok hi refer to q 1 it was most certainly the "im not very good at it" bit. like awww. the michael. was born yesterday. or, was never born at all, and always Was. yet recently, clearly, started um... transitioning from "was" to "is"! wow.

they're saying he's "the most pathetic man ever conceived of"? (see q 2)

• Q 1 below
• MICHAEL
  I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain.
• ARCHIVIST
  So… Michael isn’t your real name, what?
• MICHAEL
  There is no such thing as a real name.
• ARCHIVIST
  What are you talking about?
• MICHAEL
  I am talking about myself. It’s not something I’m used to doing, so I’m sorry if I’m not very good at it.
• Q 2 below
• ARCHIVIST
  Ah… owww…
  M-Michael? Michael…!?
  Ah. End recording.

MAG 46 Literary Heights

0263001 big fan of all this (see q 1).

• Q 1. There was another thing, too. Whenever he was in, the lightbulbs in my shop would burn brighter. I didn’t even realize this until he’d been coming for several months, as it was usually in daylight when he went shopping. But when winter made its presence known, his late afternoon visits began to take place after dark, and I noticed that whenever he came in, the shop got brighter. The bulbs would start to buzz very softly, and the filaments within them would glow with a surprising intensity. There was this strange electric crackling, and once I even got a shock when I turned a lamp on.
• Q 2. The events here seem to have taken place a couple of years after those of statement 9991006. Could his exposure to The Boneturner’s Tale have catalyzed an interest in Jurgen Leitner? Or perhaps an early experiment? It seems as though he was attempting to use the book as protection against whatever was chasing him. Did The Boneturner’s Tale not work in that regard…? And what was it that chased him, bringing that smell with it?
• Q 3. I did go down there to see if I could find anything, but it seems much as it did last time. The only difference now is… all the spiderwebs. They seem to have spread down there. I think I saw some of the larger specimens actually eating the remains of the worms. It was a… disconcerting sight, and I left almost immediately.

MAG 45 Blood Bag ✒️

0263001 JON IS THE STUPIDEST MAN ALIVE I JUST CAN'T DO THIS.

• Q 1. Why? I can’t find any other indication of an interest in the paranormal, nothing to indicate this area of study appealed to him. And why stay after everything that happened with Prentiss? Is it just loyalty or could it be something –
• [DOOR OPENS]
  MARTIN
  Hey, I just wanted to check if you wanted a cup of tea?
• ARCHIVIST
  Uh…
• MARTIN
  Oh, oh, sorry, are you recording? I, I thought you were done for the day?
• ARCHIVIST
  I-I was. I am. It’s…
• MARTIN
  Why do you have pictures of Tim?
• ARCHIVIST
  It… it’s a performance review thing, going over some files for it.
• MARTIN
  But that looks like a picture of his house?
• [RUSTLING OF PAPERS]
  ARCHIVIST
  [Abruptly] Confidential files that you… legally you shouldn’t really be looking at them. Please, er, please leave, Martin.
• MARTIN
  Right, right. Right, right…
• Did you want that tea?
• ARCHIVIST
  No. Thank you, Martin.

MAG 44 Tightrope

0263001 gertrude has a lovely fucking voice wow. jon is so embarrassing.

• Q 1. I have prised up one of the floorboards, and will be hiding them beneath there from now on.

MAG 42 Grifter's Bone ✒️

0263001 see q. 1, uh, WHAT A HOMO!!! get out of my face!

• Q 1. Supplement. I’ve been watching Martin. He’s been very attentive to my needs and recovery since I returned to work, almost to the exclusion of his own tasks. Previously I might have ascribed such ministrations to his own lax work ethic, but in the stress of Prentiss’ attack, I am sure I glanced moments of competence, or even cunning, that are beyond what his previous work would indicate. Is he playing the fool? Purposefully failing in his tasks to delay or hinder my investigations? It’s possible. He has also shown remarkable interest in my own theories as to who killed Gertrude. I have thus far diverted him by saying I believe it to be whatever is lurking in the tunnels below, but he seems… unsatisfied by that response.
• I’m glad he’s moved out of the Archives, as it gives me a chance to work here without his constant presence. Also because he managed to leave some of his possessions behind, for the most part it’s just a few books of relatively awful poetry. There are a few pieces I feel could almost have been affecting if his style wasn’t so obviously enamoured with Keats, but there is an unfinished letter addressed to his mother in Devon, in which he mentions that he is worried about “the others finding out I’ve been lying”.
• It may be nothing, some inconsequential deception or other – after all, it is ostensibly written to his mother – but if it was actually to be sent to someone else… I will keep my eye on Martin.

MAG 38 Lost and Found 📑

0263001 holy peak. this episode reminds me quite a lot of my favourite episode of The Twilight Zone. I often try to get my friends to watch it, or really any episode of the show, since it's so wonderful. since i first heard of the magnus archives, it's reminded me of the twilight zone. they're just so similar in nature and tone and stuff...anyways. its episode 11 of season one, "And When the Sky Was Opened". i won't spoil it, but they're...i mean...theyre very different in ways, but...i don't know. maybe its just a common sort of story, and they're relatively, then, much too different to be making this comparison. nonetheless, i adore the episode, and therefore of course i have so much pre-existing love for Lost and Found.

MAG 34 Anatomy Class 📑 6

0262901 this is my favourite episode by far (44 being as late as i am, lol). i'm not even sure particularly why! i'm a big fan of the um...guy who voices the academic, and i just love the entities in it so much. its such a spooky story.

MAG 33 Boatswain's Call

0263001

MAG 10 Vampire Killer 📑

0253101 big fan of the it/its/[name] vampires. for MAG 9, i said it was the first episode to give me true hope for the detail in these stories. this, MAG 10, was the first episode to make me not Care about the Series! It was just such a good story, i think i had decided i wouldn't mind listening even if the story wasn't very good. such unfathomable peak. (see q 1) big fan of this wording. the way Trevor has no issue admitting the ways he's like..still Learning about the vampires...it's so cool. (see q 2) this is such an interesting way to put this. obviously with the second sentence he's referencing how he earlier explained you can "understand" them without them actually speaking, but to actually hear someone say "i understood he wouldnt be giving me any money" and to instantly realize all that "understood" can actually mean, within the context. just so well written.

• Q 1 It struck me that the vampire must be a very dry creature when not fresh-fed and engorged.
• Q 2 The man looked at me and I understood he wouldn’t be giving me any money, and I stepped away. It was as he turned to leave I realised that he hadn’t opened his mouth, and memories of Sylvia McDonald came rushing back to me in a flash.

MAG 9 A Father's Love

0263101 i'm relistening after listening to MAG 52, the one about her father's death. i'm enjoying relistening to it quite a bit, as this is one of the first episodes that really made me hope for the series--i don't know how to word the hope, just...i hoped it would be something. that the details would matter. and as i found out, however long later, they really do mean something!

MAG 6 Squirm

0260102 I'm relistening to this one after quite a while. So interesting it's just sooo interesting I am a big fan of this one...I completely forgot about it until far after Jane was relevant. Which is kinda crazy! You know, like, considering...??? Well anyway. I like it quite a bit and I think it was pretty fantastic, especially for an earlier episode, of which I find less... particularly memorable.

I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE JANE WAS NAMEDROPPED ON THIS. FUCK ME. I'M SO STUPID.

“ I’m… I’m going to go lie down. ” ...

... Statements end.

... Supplemental.

...
End recording.