“ Right from the beginning. One second. ” ...

I may occasionally go back and leave newer notes on older episodes, hence the comment dates being separate from the episode headers. I've placed a little...notebook [📑] sort of emoji...next to the title of my favourite episodes. I've set up a way to let my aforementioned boyfriend and good friend edit this page if they like. As of writing, I'm going back and leaving my comments, so the dates for anything older than MAG 44 will likely be...very out of order. I'll also occasionally copy my favourite bits of the transcript here, just for reference and...you know. Fun. I've also marked episodes with silly dialogue and stuff with a pen emoji [✒️]. Sorry for how often I say "" big fan "" and call things "" spooky "". And for all of the typos. I typically type live, and, well, it's embarrassing to reread me say "JON NEEDS TO DIE" and "AWWW I LOVE [NAME]" so many times.

“ Last three digits of the year, then the day, then the month. I don’t know why she did it like that, but I can’t change it now. ” ...

— SEASON FOUR —

MAG 127 Remains to be Seen

0262202 woahhh callback. jesus christ that was a while ago. although i did just listen to that statement yesterday, by chance! YEAAHHH JON OF COURSE JONAH WAS INNOCENT. LMFAO.

Elias you are so Funny. I've mnnissed him so much. Oh my god. Fuck. And Basira is still THEEEE goat.

• Q 1 below
  BASIRA
  Can we cut the bullshit?
• ELIAS
  What “bullshit” might that be?
• BASIRA
  The part where you pretend you don’t spend your whole time watching us.
• ELIAS
  Sometimes I’m eating.

MAG 126 Sculptor's Tool 📑✒️

0262202 SEE Q 1? I LOVE THIS GUY. he just wants FRIENDS okay he just wants FRIENDS. oh my god. ABSOLUTE PEAK. Soon! As you can scream. OH MY GOD THIS IS SO UTTERLY PEAK I CAN'T DOT HIS. GABERIEL I LOVEEEEE YOUUU. HAVING A NAME WOULD ONLY CONFUSE THEM. Bill was there, but he was made of clay , of course! I LOVE GABE SOOO MUCH. HE'S JUST SO AWESOME. I OVE HIM.

See Q 4 I'm going to kill myself. Everyone needs to die. Genuinely. MARTIN MARTIN OHH MY GOD. OHHH MYG OD OH MY GOD. ITS NOT EXACTLY THRILLING LISTENING. You missed him, didn’t you? (same little laugh) Yeah. Yeah, me too. FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU FUCKKK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK UFOFUSDOIV YFOUCK YOU (I’m not mad I’m just disappointed) You talked to him. OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO THROW UP. I'M GOING TO DIE. MARTIN. FUCK PETER. FUCKKK PETER. FUCK PETER FUCK PETER. oh my god this is literally hell like i'm IN HELL. get Martin OUT of there GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT OF THERE. JESUS FUCKINGGGGG CHRIST> DYNAMIC DUO FUCK EVERYofn. Okay they're hilarious a bit sorry ok they are nkind of funny but FUCK YOU PETER FUCKKKK YOU.l OH MY GOD. HIS ASSISTANT. FUCK YOU. FUC, YOU FUCK YOU FUCKKK YOU OH MY GOD I JUST HATE HATE HATE HATE HA TEHA TEH HATE HATE. I GET MELANIE I UNDERSTAND. FUCK EVERYONE. Jesus christ. Martin is so actually fucked. Yeah he's Over

• Q 1 “What an excellent idea,” he said. “An excellent direction indeed.”
• Q 2 All faces were twisted on the inside, and all you had to do was reach into the deepest part of yourself and put that twisted on the outside of the clay, and as soon as you can scream you’ll have your own face staring back at you.
• Q 3 I got a letter, a week ago. It was from Gabriel. It said that he had found a new job, and he’d love it if I came up to assist him again. He’s working in a place called Sannikov Land. I looked it up. It doesn’t exist. And it sounds cold. I don’t think I should go. I’m not going to go.
• Q 4 I’ve been trying to check on Melanie’s condition. She refuses to see me – understandably, I,I suppose, and Basira has been looking after her. (sigh) It hurts, of course. But… (sigh) I really hope getting that bullet out of her helps. At least stops it from getting any worse. I can’t have been too late again.

MAG 125 Civilian Casualties

0262202 Baaaaa . MELANIE. meelllanie :( FUCK EVERYONEEEE by the way ON GOD. Can Jon STOP doing spooky shit. Jon have you considered Staying Human. ?

• Q 1 It’s… frustrating, to be honest. I finally feel myself; I feel… focused, and ready, and I find myself basically alone. I’m now sure Martin is actually avoiding me.

MAG 124 Left Hanging

0262202 OHHH YEAHHH VAST EPISODE. FUCKK I LOVE HTE VAST.

0262202 Oh my god MARTIN FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCK.H MARTIN. MARTIN. oh myg od. jon must be suicidal. he has tobe extra suicidal. i'd kill myself on the spot. genuinely. oh my god. his poetry. fuck. fuck you fuckkk YOUUU

MAG 123 Web Development

0262202 Spookkky Shit. Melanie. Melanie :(. Melaniee. Broo. His fucking teammates. Bro. God. FUck everythinggg.d Dude Fuck Everything. FCCCUUUIKKK everything. I miss Tim every day of my life. Tim come back. Tim. bTim

• Q 1 I have no theories on this. No – no sudden insights. (sigh) I wish I could talk it through with Martin. Or Tim. Or Sasha. But we never really did that, did we? (sigh) Everything’s changed. (shaky, long breath)
• Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.

MAG 122 Zombie

0262202 BIG FAN OF THIS ONE TOO. FUCKK. JON. BRAHHDSCJXZ,xz.bvc.z.xbf..zd.f.

MAG 121 Far Away 📑

0262002 Big fan of all this. Even though we're in hell right now. FUck. FUCKKK. FUCK. FUCK. fuck. fuck. fuck. FUCK

— SEASON THREE —

MAG 120 Eye Contact 📑✒️

FUCK!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCK. FUCK FUCK PETER FUCK ELIAS FUCK EVERYUOEb. MARTIN. FUCK.

MAG 119 Stranger and Stranger 📑

0262002 FUCK

MAG 118 The Masquerade 📑

0262002 I'm going to throw up

MAG 117 Testament ✒️

0262002 Fuck Everything I think. Honestly. Martin :( Tim :( Martinnn. Tim. Jon. FUCK EVERYONE.

• Q 1 below
  Oh, oh, Christ, I hope John doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, John, it’s an expression, chill out! Besides, spiders are fine. I mean, yes, people are scared of them, obviously, but actual spiders, they just want to help you out with flies.
• Anyway, I guess I’m just sick of sitting on my hands drinking tea and hoping everyone’s okay. This way, I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that’s cool! I just really hope everyone makes it back.
• And I want to win on my own.
• Oh, and I hope the world doesn’t end. Obviously. Just… just don’t die, John. Or, or Tim, Basira, or… Daisy, I guess? Just… everyone please make it back home?

MAG 116 The Show Must Go On

0262002 Office Comedy. Spooky as fuck though. Ti.. Tim :( Tim :( Tim.

MAG 115 Taking Stock

0262002 I love Salesa bro. He's so nonchalant

0262002 Can Jon genuinely kill himself. Oh my god. I could cry like Actually cry why is he such an asshole. Helen did NOT deserve all that oh my GOD :( She is just so right. He is in the same position. But nooo just because Jon refuses any help, he cannot be of any help! WHAT AN ASSHOLE. Jon. :(

• Q 1 thorws up and dies . below
  [A NEW DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
  [Sharply] What do you want?

HELEN
Not sure. To talk.

ARCHIVIST
You’re keeping her face, then.

HELEN
I am Helen.

ARCHIVIST
Don’t pretend to be people I know. Knew.

HELEN
I’m not pretending.

ARCHIVIST
You’re not Helen Richardson.

HELEN
I wasn’t Michael, either.

ARCHIVIST
Who do you see? When you, you look at yourself? There are mirrors in those corridors of yours. What do you see?

HELEN
I don’t.

ARCHIVIST
…

Why are you here?

HELEN
I… I’m not… I’m not entirely sure. I’m… having trouble. I don’t think I was meant to be Helen.

ARCHIVIST
I’m – I don’t understand.

HELEN
Neither do I. Michael was… pulling away. His anger was interfering. I don’t, I don’t think I have a choice but to be Helen. Self is difficult.

ARCHIVIST
Michael, he, uh, he, he wasn’t meant to be you either, though, was he?

HELEN
No.

ARCHIVIST
…

So…

[Slowly] Why are you here?

HELEN
I took someone.

ARCHIVIST
You t–
Wh… L-Like Michael ate you?

HELEN
I took a man, wandering the halls of an old tenement. He’s dead now, he never even came close to finding me. It was nourishing, but…

ARCHIVIST
But…

HELEN
I didn’t like it.

ARCHIVIST
You d– [Sigh] I’m not sure I follow.

HELEN
I feel… wrong. I feel this –

ARCHIVIST
[Angry] Why are you telling me this?!

HELEN
Something happened when I became ‘Helen’. She wasn’t right, she wasn’t ready.

ARCHIVIST
I don’t…

HELEN
Before, talking to you made Helen feel better.

ARCHIVIST
You’re not that Helen!

HELEN
I just want… I just want to feel better.

ARCHIVIST
…

I don’t believe you.

HELEN
You don’t?

ARCHIVIST
Wh-what? Why should I believe… a-a-any of this? You’ve told me over and over that you’re… what was the phrase? The ‘throat of delusion’? All of this is –

HELEN
I have never told you a lie, Archivist. I wouldn’t dare. I, I just thought you might understand.

ARCHIVIST
Uh… How could I possibly…

HELEN
We’re both changing, Archivist. I had hoped, that together –

ARCHIVIST
[Furious] Get out.

HELEN
Archivist…

ARCHIVIST
Get. Out.

HELEN
Fine.

[A NEW DOOR CREAKS CLOSED]

MAG 113 Breathing Room

0262002 Oh Fuck Everything. I just wish and wish and wish and hope and PRAY for a non-suicidal Tim! Anytime soon guys!!! Also STOP YELLING AT MARTIN. JESUS CHRIST. HOP. OFF. HOP OFF. Martin needs to be more subtle its sort of killing me. Have you noticed you're the Only One who gets anything positive out of Jon. Stop DEFENDING HIM BRAHH. Notice how he fucked up exactly 2 seconds later. Come on guys

• Q 1 below
  MARTIN
  Mmm.
  Ooh! Ooh! There’s a book in this one.

ARCHIVIST
[Hastily] Don’t… touch it!

MARTIN
Ooh… OH! Right, yes.

ARCHIVIST
Let’s… not touch any books we don’t know.

MARTIN
Right.

• Q 2 below
  MARTIN
  America? And China? I’ve never really actually done any, you know, travelling.

MELANIE
It’s not all that. Sometimes you get shot by a ghost.

ARCHIVIST
And refuse to give a statement about it.

MELANIE
Yup!

ARCHIVIST
It was nice, Martin.
[Reconsiders] It was… weird. Paranoia is an odd combination with culture shock. Really rather disorientating.

MARTIN
I mean… it wasn’t actually paranoia, though, was it? Because, they were out to get you.

• Q 3 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Where the hell did she get this? I –

Martin, don’t touch it!

MARTIN
Sorry!

• Q 4 below Lol
  ARCHIVIST
  M-Martin! Stop trying to touch the plastic explosive!

MARTIN
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

MELANIE
Guys…

ARCHIVIST
Just put your hands in your pockets, or… something…

MARTIN
Look, I said, I said I’m sorry…

• Q 5 below
  MARTIN
  [Explodes] What were you thinking bringing that along?!

ARCHIVIST
I just – I mean – I forgot!

MELANIE
[Indignant & furious] You forgot?!

MARTIN
[Screeching] Turn it off!

MAG 112 Thrill of the Chase 📑

0262002 This one was so good Holy Balls this may be my go-to for doing chores and whatnot.

MAG 111 Family Business 📑✒️

0261602 FULL NAME lIKE A GHOST +GHHARHAHHHH. OH MY GOD I LOVE GERARD I LOVEEEE HIM I LOVE HIM GOSH GHOSH GOSH. YESSS BROOO TELL HIM. ASSISTED SUICIDE ASAP. AMEN AMEN AMEN. i LOVE HIM. Jon needs to be ragebaited. Amen. I love the4mn. oh my god. I Love them SO MUCH. This small talk is beautiful. I love them. I love them. I love them. Oh my gosh. Fuck.

• Q 1 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Uh, oh, yeah. Here. C-Can you smoke it?
• GERARD
  Ugh. I guess not.
• Q 2 below
  ARCHIVIST
  [Perky] Oh, er, I can do that, too.
• GERARD
  Huh. Do you like it?
• ARCHIVIST
  I-I don’t know. I never really thought about it.
  Yes, I… I suppose I do.
• Q 3 below
  GERARD
  ...What’s out there… doesn’t care about blood.
• ARCHIVIST
  Well, I-I mean, except for the vampires…
• GERARD
  Yeah, obviously except for the vampires.
• Q 4 below
  GERARD
  And if you’re having an omelette for lunch, not every moment is spent eating the omelette. Some things take preparation. Especially if, you know, your spatula has a bit of free will. And sometimes I think bits of them just… ooze into the world without any purpose at all. Or sometimes they’re summoned.
• Q 5 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Like colours, but if colours hated me. Got it. Christ, I need a cigarette.
• Q 6 below
• GERARD
  Being watched, being followed, having your deepest secrets exposed. Needing to know, even if your discoveries might destroy you. The feeling that something, somewhere, is letting you suffer, just so it can watch.
• ARCHIVIST
  Is… is that me? Is… is that what I do?
• GERARD
  You’re the Archivist, you tell me.
• ARCHIVIST
  Ah…

MAG 110 Creature Feature

0261602 I am so SCARED. I am scared for Tim and Melanie anddd. And I am scared for this NEXT EP! As I have been HEARING about it for so long now. It'd be better if I were listening to it, like, with the two people who keep talking about itttt...but it's alright. I hope... Gosh. I am scared.

MAG 109 Nightfall 📑✒️

0261602 I love Trevor and Julia so much. Good Lord.

• Q 1 I think Alexia might be a bit too late for that. I mean, I think it sounds like a Jurgen Leitner book. About spiders. Hm. Good John didn’t have to read this one, anyway. I know he’s not a fan. Although, this one wasn’t too bad, actually! I – yeah. Anyway.

MAG 108 Monologue

0261502 PETER NEEDS TO GET OUT OF HERE.

• Q 1 I have another performance tonight. In less than four hours, I will be on that stage again, speaking those empty lines to emptier ears.
  I could run, of course, but I won’t. Where would I run to? All the world’s a stage, and I can’t escape my monologue.

MAG 107 Third Degree

• Q 1 It’s all very well being able to get people to answer your questions, but if they genuinely don’t remember something, it’s not always as useful as it seems.

MAG 106 A Matter of Perspective ✒️

0261402 I LOVE MELANIE I LOVE MELANIE SO MUCH. FUCK. OH MY GOD. PERSONAL SPACE MENTION. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. GAHH. I WAS HOPING. Manuela Dominguez. When I get you. JESUS CHRIST. KILL ELIAS. KILL ELIAS. LMFAO. JonMartin mentions but I can't think about that without killing myself.

• Q 1 I know now it was all just denial, of course. It’s not easy to be scared of something that you can’t even think about.
• Q 2 I was so far from all existence, surrounded by the vacuum of everything. I could feel my soul trying to expand, to fill never-ending absence. And it hurt.
• Q 3 And I wish that I could convince myself that ignorance was the same thing as safety. But then, how many weeds have you unthinkingly stepped on in your lifetime?
• Q 4 below
  BASIRA
  Yeah. You know, speaking of not cool – did Martin say he was coming today?
• MELANIE
  Wow. Ouch.
• BASIRA
  Oh, what, you’re gonna judge me? I literally don’t know anyone here you haven’t made cry.
• MELANIE
  You only know Tim and Martin!
• BASIRA
  And Elias.
• MELANIE
  I made Elias cry…?
• BASIRA
  I don’t know. Probably. You can be very mean.
• MELANIE
  [Hah!] Right, well… the jury’s still out on Elias. And anyway, Martin’s always been lovely to you.
• BASIRA
  Hmm. I don’t know, I mean, you should have seen him when I turned up last year. I think he thought I was trying to steal his precious Archivist.
• MELANIE
  Ahhh. I got the exact same when John was hiding out, and came to me with his “source on the inside” stuff. Martin was not impressed.
• BASIRA
  [ugh] That boy needs to relax.
• MELANIE
  Or at least find someone else to fuss over!
• BASIRA
  Yeah, he’s got it bad.
  [PAUSE]
• BASIRA
  Do you know if he and John ever…
• MELANIE
  No clue, and not interested! Although… according to Georgie, John doesn’t.
• BASIRA
  Like, at all?
• MELANIE
  Yeah.
• BASIRA
  Yeah, that does explain some stuff. – wait, hang on, do I, do I know Georgie?
• MELANIE
  I don’t think so. Georgie Barker? She does “What the Ghost”.
• BASIRA
  No way. I used to love that show. I mean, the first couple of seasons, at least. Took a weird turn in season three, when they introduced –
• MELANIE
  Well, she and John, they, dated…
• BASIRA
  Yeah.
• MELANIE
  I mean, it was years ago…

MAG 104 Sneak Preview

0261102 Oh my god. Martin is. Oh my god. "KYA!" Oh my gosh. Tim. and Martin. Oh my God. Tim. Oh my gosh. Oh my god. This is. Tim. Oh wow. Oh my godddd. :(. This is fucking spooky. Jesus christ. Big fan of the quiet music. I LOVE TIM. I LOVEEE HINM, TELL HIS ASS. TELLLL HIM. TELLLLL HIM. OHHHHH YEAHHHHH. HIS EVIL ASS PLANS. #TRUTH@TRUTH #TRUTHNUKE. WOOOOOOOO THATS MY GOAT THATS MYG OAT

MAG 103 Cruelty Free

0261102 Big fan of Jon compelling strangers nonchalantly. Probably won't affect him later. Probably won't care about being asked what he IS. Is probs nothing. OH MYG OD HIM AND DAISY FUCK EVERYTHING. FUCKKK YOUUU. JON YOURE SUCH A DICK. This is so stupid. Jon this plan against Elias is stupid. This is all stupid. Why's he so dumb. Learn about yourself Faster.

MAG 102 Nesting Instinct

0261102 Ok I respect Elias being sassy Yeah get his ass Jon needs to talk normally. LMFAOOO SEE Q 1 GAYASS. SEE Q 2 THEYRE SO HILARIOUS. JON STOP BEING SARCASTIC. STOP IT. LMFAOOO THEYRE SO STUPID. WOW. JUST A LIKE.. OH WOW. SO STUPID. ELIAS AND JON. BOTH IDIOTS. OH MY GOD THEY'RE HILARIOUS. SEE Q 1 2 AND 3 THEYRE SO FUCKING FUNNY. LMFAO. OH MY GOD. talk to Martin. OH MY GOD. Gay people. CRAZY. SHIT. OH my gosh. Martin :(. [MORE UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE]. [MORE UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE]. [MORE UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE]. Good Lord. Gay People. Martin KYAAING after being asked about himself for the first time ever, gosh.

Big fan of the Beetle Gf.

• Q 1 below
  ARCHIVIST
  You didn’t tell them I’d been kidnapped, though, did you?
• ELIAS
  It wouldn’t have helped matters. Martin’s research, at least, would have been sloppier.
• Q 2 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Sure, when you’re not bashing its head in with a pipe.
• ELIAS
  Leitner was… I will admit I possibly… overreacted to his sudden re-emergence.
• Q 3 below
  ELIAS
  You just knew it.
• ARCHIVIST
  What, no, I… Th-that’s not a –
• ELIAS
  No, no, no. No, John, this is good. It’s a promising development.
• ARCHIVIST
  [Getting flustered] No, No I… It’s just, it’s just… just deduction or –
• ELIAS
  Is this the first time it’s happened?
• Q 4 below
  MELANIE
  No! But the way I see it, the police seem really keen not to investigate crimes committed here.
• ELIAS
  That’s actually fair.
• ARCHIVIST
  Shut up!
  Melanie, please.
• Q 5 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Look, I-I’m sorry, Melanie, but we need him. We, We will… We will find a way to deal with i– with him. Not today. A-And not like this.
• ELIAS
  I am still here, you know.
• ARCHIVIST
  And if you weren’t, I assume you would be watching this conversation, so… Melanie, we can’t do this. Not yet.
• Q 5 below
  ELIAS
  Thank you, John.
• ARCHIVIST
  [Hissed] Shut up!

MAG 101 Another Twist 📑✒️

0261102 I LOVE BREEKON AND HOPE GOD THEYRE SO FUNNY OH MY LORD. Right you are. Yes Jon just try talking some more You'll make sense this Time. Just whine some more. [MUFFLED FEELINGS]. Elias, can I call you Elias? Because you have not been taking care of your skin. If it's raining where is the groaning of the box at. MNICHAEL MICAHEL MICHAEL MICHAEL OHH MY GOD FUCK FUKC FUCK FUCKUFKC MICHAEL CMICAHEL. I LOVE MICHAEL SO MUCH. THATS MY GOAT RIGHT THERE. Oh my god i'm going to rhwo up. I love you Michael. Youre right. FUck everyone. Youre the real goat. IA MG OIGN TO TRHRWO UP. FUCI. /STATEMENT MENTION. Oh my Gosh. I love Michael. And Gertrude. Ahh ok wait maybe not. Not a big fan of Peter so far. He seems like Elias but like Worse. This is great and all but now Jon will never speak to anyone literally ever again. Wonderful ✅. OH MY GOSH BIG FAN OG IT BEING LOCKED. WOWWW. THATS SO RIDICULOUS. its locked.. its not. OHHH MY GOSH HELEN. WOWWWW. THAT WAS MICHAELS DESIRE NOT MINE. TELL HIM!! TELL HIM!!!!!!!

• Q 1 below
  MICHAEL
  Oh… Oh… Oh, Archivist. What have you done now? It’s almost sad to see you like this.
  ARCHIVIST
  [LOW IRRITATED GROAN]
• Q 2 below
  MICHAEL
  It’s earlier than I had hoped, but that’s life… I suppose. Your life. [Giggles] Before I do, however, I want you to understand… even if it does go against my nature. So.
  [THE GAG IS REMOVED; THE ARCHIVIST GASPS]
  [Enunciating each word carefully] Ask your questions.
• ARCHIVIST
  What?
• MICHAEL
  Ask me.
• Q 3 below
  MICHAEL
  Hm…
  Ahhh, a statement. Of course. Is your recorder running?
  Yes. Say it, Archivist.
• ARCHIVIST
  Statement of… Michael. Taken from subject. Date…
• MICHAEL
  The last day of the Archivist’s life.
• ARCHIVIST
  Statement begins.
• Q 4 below
  But Gertrude Robinson did not waver. She did not… hesitate. She gave no indication that she saw anything more or less than was expected. Hers was not a mind that left room for doubt. She stared into us carefully, her eyes scanning for something that was my heart. Looking for my door. And she found it.
• Perhaps I should have realised what was happening; seen those two lonely figures approaching me, but I cannot tell you the existential joys of truly… becoming. Of an entireness finally crossing the threshold into your self. So ecstatic was my completeness, I did not even hear my own door creak open. Because Gertrude had told Michael how he could stop us. She told him to walk through a door. And even then, with so much of his mind shut down in panic and terror, he trusted her. And he went inside, closing the door behind him.

MAG 100 I Guess You Had To Be There 📑✒️

0261102 Oh my gosh wow Lynee is my goat. Oh my gosh he's bad at it cuz he's not like Ohhhh my god ucz he can't compel. Oh wow. Holy shit. Martin I love you. Oh my god. Ohhh my god. I love these two. I hope this entire episode is like this. I hope it is This Forever. Fuck Jon. Thank god he got kidnapped. Fuckkkk Jon. New Head Archivist.

JOHN SMITH LMFAO. OH M YGOD. Tim. Tim is so funny. Tim is the funniest person Alive Almost. Basira and Melanie share #1. Oh my God. Fuck. Fuck. This is so great. This is awesome. Melanie next Please. OR BASIRA. THAT OWULD BE BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE THEM. THIS IS AWESOME. THIS IS GREAT. THIS IS THE BEST. HOLY SHIT IT IS BASIRA OHH MY GOD LETS GO LETS GO. HOLY FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Big fan of all of these seemingly like they're about Actually Very Relevant things. They Need Jon holy shit Go Save Jon Guys you need him for this. I like how this guy avoids saying 6-7. MELANIE HOLY

MELANIE MELANIE. ILOVE MELANIE. ah. good. a spider one! HOLY FUCK THIS IS SO GOOD. Oh my gosh. Wow. OH MY LORD OH MY GOD MARTIN MARTIN FUCK

OH HOLY SHIT MARTIN MARITN MARTIN OHH MY GOD HE NEEDS TO KILL HIMSELF THATS HELL ON EARTH JON WOULDNT HAVE DEALT WITH THAT OHHH MY GOD

TIM IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE THEY ALL ARE I CAN'T DO THAT. FORWNING AT HIM SKEPTICALLY HE;P ME YLEP ME. Ohh my god. Oh my god. Melanie.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. peter.

• Q 1 below
  LYNNE
  Well, I was asleep.
• MARTIN
  …
  You –
• LYNNE
  Well, I mean –
• MARTIN
  …saw a ghost when you were asleep?
• LYNNE
  No, no, obviously I woke up.
• MARTIN
  Right, right.
• LYNNE
  And… ghost.
• MARTIN
  Right. Erm…
• Q 2 below
  ‘SMITH’
  And, er… we, we broke into the, the Tube station –
  [TIM SIGHS]
  – ‘coz we wanted to, have a, have a look around, ‘coz y’know –
• TIM
  What drove you to break into a Tube station, Mr. Smith?
• Q 3 below oh my lord
  TIM
  Right… okay.
• Q 4 BELOW HEP ME HELP HELP !! STOP
  Um. We were down there, in the tunnels, and… and then the torches went out. And I think… [sniffs] I think they took him.
• TIM
  “They”?
• ‘SMITH’
  Yeah, them. Them.
• TIM
  Okay. And who are they?
• ‘SMITH’
  Well, I mean, you, you must know? I mean, like, this is the Magnus Institute. I mean, like, you know this stuff, right? You know, the people who are down in the tunnels, y’know…
• TIM
  What people are down in the tunnels, Mr. ‘Smith’?
• ‘SMITH’
  The Government.
• TIM
  [Sighs] The Government?
• ‘SMITH’
  Yeah, yeah, the Government.
• TIM
  Wonderful.
• Q 5 below
  MELANIE
  Fine. Statement begins.
• BRIAN
  Oh, um, I…
• MELANIE
  That means get started.
• Q 6 below
  BRIAN
  Like, the supernatural, right?
• MELANIE
  Um… I mean, we’re, we’re an investigative… unit, but we’re…
• Q 7 below
  LYNNE
  Er… Well, not a lot.
• MARTIN
  Right.
• Q 8 below
  [MOURNFUL SOUNDS OF MARTIN’S LOOSE CHANGE]
  I mean, I’ve got… I mean… get a coffee, I…
• LYNNE
  Y’know what? You’re, you’re alright.
• MARTIN
  No, no, please, please? I…
• LYNNE
  Oh, alright.
• MARTIN
  Y’know, er…
• LYNNE
  Thanks, thanks.
• MARTIN
  …like, like a macchiato, or…
• LYNNE
  Mm.
• MARTIN
  I mean, maybe not that much.
• Q 9 below
  PETER
  That’s probably for the best. Elias can be quite… ‘protective’ of his people. Never really understood why. I mean, in the end, the only person that you really have is yourself.
  Wouldn’t you agree, Brian?

MAG 099 Dust to Dust

0261102 MICHAEL OHHHH MY GODDDDSHSHHHH. OHH MY GOD. Michael. THATS THE GoAT. THATS MY GOATT. Also, Hunt and Buried mention! Huge! LMFAOOOO JON IS LOSING IT GOOD FUCKING LORD SOMEONE GET HIM ANTI PSYCHOTICS. Ohhh my god. Has anyone ever been as self isolating as Jonathan Sims. Oh my gosh Georgie is just the goat and Oh my god he's just so Sad he's the saddest man alive. LMFAAAOOOO DUDEE WHY IS HE ALWAYS DOING THROUGH SOME SHIT!!!!

• Q 1 below
  Is it… Why are you so insistent on keeping me around?
• GEORGIE
  Because you’re trying to cut yourself off, and that’s… that’s really bad. Look, when’s the last time you spoke to someone who wasn’t me?
• ARCHIVIST
  That’s… I… I – I – talked to Martin a… a, a few weeks ago…
• GEORGIE
  Did you talk to him? Or did he talk to you, while you tried to find a way to escape?
• ARCHIVIST
  I…
• Q 2 below
  GEORGIE
  Alright, fine. I mean, you’re a grown-ass man, you want to leave, find a hotel, I can’t stop you. Just… keep in touch, alright? Y’know, don’t be a ‘stranger’.
• ARCHIVIST
  Georgie.
• GEORGIE
  Oh come on, that was classic Barker.

MAG 098 Lights Out

0261102 I love Tim lots like lots but why is he talking to Martin like he's stupid. Lets avoid that maybe. OH MY GOSH I LOVEEE MELANIE SHE IS JUST SO AWESOME. YES INVITE MARTIN BRO :( HE DESERVES IT. Ok Melanie is stupid. I still support her. I support her even though she's stupid.

MAG 097 We All Ignore the Pit

0261102 That one tiktok audio mention

MAG 096 Return to Sender

0261102 Breekon and Hope are the Loves of my Lives. Respect people who like keeping their lives PRIVATE ok. Also I guess Elias is lying about his identity? something something there is no such thing as a real name? I assume he's Jonah since he was reading that shit. But that's probably fucking stupid. Guy who knows nothing.

• Q 1 below
  DAISY
  Come on. Before the Met get here.
• ARCHIVIST
  Whatever you say.
• DAISY
  And wipe that grin off your face.

MAG 095 Absent Without Leave ✒️

0261102 MARTIN, OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. Oh my gosh I just. Broooo. Bro. Bro :(. OHHH MY GOD BASIRA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Yeah, I was reading. OHHHH MY GOSHHHHH.

MAG 094 Dead Woman Walking

0261102 HOLY SHIT CALLBACK TO AN EPISODE I LOVEEE. OH MY GOSH. HUGE. YES. SO TRUE. THERE IS NO FUTURE YOU WAITING TO DIE WHILE YOU CONTINUE. EVERYTHING WILL END. HHAHHHAHAHDSK. WOW. THE END. I SEE. IT'S ALREADY OVER. WOW. PEAK. THIS IS PEAK. Jon is just so sad. They're so sad. Gosh.

MAG 093 Contaminant

0261102 GOSH. I LOVE GEORGIE. AND THE ADMIRAL. :( I am so glad Jon isn't going through the horrors at this exact moment. Finally. Jesus.

• Q 1 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Hello Admiral, how’ve you been? I’ve missed you too. I just – I’m trying to…
  [Sighs] Fine, you want a belly rub, alri– aaargh. Wrong hand, cat, wrong hand. Ah-hah… just… Sorry Admiral, it-it’s been a hard few days.

MAG 092 Nothing Besides Remains ✒️

0261002 Elias may be the funniest guy of all time. I see it now. I see the appeal. Someone needs to be telling Jon this shit.

MAG 091 The Coming Storm

0260902 Shout-out to Mags as this is her ep! And her guy! She joined me for this one. This EP also marks the definitive turning point for me and my relationship with TMA LOL. How lucky! I Love Mike Crew.

MAG 089 Twice as Bright

0260802 THEY ARE BOTH SO FUCKIN STUPID. WOW. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. Jon is just. Well I'm interested in this whole compelling thing of Jon's. I guess it's probably why Daisy stayed that one time? Also Jon is just so pathetic. That's what I've been saying. Archivist who doesn't know anything. Embarrassing.

• Q 1 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Yes, yes, I understand, you could easily kill me, I’m at your mercy, blah, blah, blah. I have heard it before. And from things much scarier than you.
• Q 1 below
  JUDE
  Aren’t you going to say your words?
• ARCHIVIST
  [Sigh] Statement of Jude Perry, regarding… some advice. Recorded direct from subject, April 24th, 2017. Statement begins.

MAG 088 Dig

0260802 I just love Martin so much. Everyone needs to get off of him. What the Fuck. He doesn't know Anything. See Q 1, Hello Jonathan Sims Ex Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

• Q 1 I never really loved the digging. Too much like hard work, I always used to say, and I’m not a young man anymore. So generally, if the finds aren’t near enough the surface for me to just pick them up, I’ll leave them be. Sometimes, though, you just can’t help yourself. You need to know what’s under there, so you get down on your knees and dig, dig, dig.
• Q 2 I miss those days, without the weight of the detector. Without the need to dig.
• Q 3 Every time I read it, it was like the meaning of the word became more solid in my mind.

MAG 087 The Uncanny Valley

0260802 I LOVE GEORGIE. SHE'S SOOOO THE GOAT. LIKE LEGIT.

MAG 086 Tucked In ✒️

0260802 OH MY GOD I LOVE TIM WHY IS HE SUCH A MENACE. WHAT IS HE DOING. JUST READ IT BRO. I love Melanie. I love her. And I love Tim. And they are just all so sad. So sad and sad and sad. And I hope they get better. Melanie is the GOAT and Jon is sad. Per Usual.

• Q 1 below
  TIM
  …
  What did she look like?
• MELANIE
  What? Sorry?
• TIM
  The first Sasha. What… What was she like?

MAG 085 Upon the Stair 📑✒️

0260802 Jon is being so stupid. Jesus christ. What a poor thing. What a poor poor thing. Nevermind he got annoying and insane at the end. Jonnn. Bro. LMFAO SEE Q 3 NEVERMIND HE'S HILARIOUS. See Q 4, this is spooky stuff, and feels super relevant. Jon you should maybe lock in to this? Because You have issues? With Beholding? Boy!!!

• Q 1 I couldn’t see him or hear him or speak to him. Because… there was nobody there. The staircase was empty, as he stretched his arm to gesture me closer.
• Q 2 I would have whole days where I failed to exist, a feeling so entirely alien that I am glad I had no stomach from which to throw up. And as I existed less and less, the man ceased to exist less and less… until… I remember the first time he was really in my house, and I wished for nothing more than that I had hands with which to strangle him.
• Q 3 I suppose that leaves skulking around the periphery. Which is what I was already doing!
• Q 4 Maybe that’s it. It. Maybe whoever sent this wants me to consider how many of these creatures used to be people. How many seem to have taken the mantle from the ones that came before them, and how none of them have been able to overcome their new natures. How most of them don’t even seem to think like people anymore. Given that there is every possibility I’ve taken one of these mantles myself, this is not an interpretation I’m keen on.
• Q 5 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Yeah, I got that. “Face to face with your own mortality on the frozen peaks, staring death in the face and saying ‘Not today, dude.’” The man’s a poet. And… why are you going out with him again?
• GEORGIE
  He, uh… he likes Hungarian food. And there’s place just opened.
• ARCHIVIST
  You’re serious? You’re going on a date with… the Dullard of Skull Mountain, just so you have an excuse to eat a shopska salad?
• GEORGIE
  I need my sheep’s cheese, John. No one else will go with me. You hate Hungarian food. Jeff says it tastes too “Soviet”, apparently, whatever that means. Melanie says it’s too salty. Everyone I know has bad taste in food.
• ARCHIVIST
  I don’t hate Hungari–
  Hold on. Melanie’s back?
• GEORGIE
  You didn’t hear?
• ARCHIVIST
  Hear what?
• GEORGIE
  Yeah, she… had a bad time in India. She got shot.
• ARCHIVIST
  She… what?
• GEORGIE
  Yeah, I know.
• ARCHIVIST
  Is she –
  I, I mean, she survived?
• GEORGIE
  I hope so. I’m going for a drink with her on Thursday. Be a bit awkward if not.
• ARCHIVIST
  Right…
• GEORGIE
  I’d take you along but, y’know, she thinks you’re a dick.
• ARCHIVIST
  Another startling insight from the piercing investigative mind of Georgie Barker. Is she alright?
• GEORGIE
  Well, she’s had a hell of a time. Figured the least I could do was get her drunk and listen to her bitch about the new job.
• ARCHIVIST
  Oh, she found something, then?
• GEORGIE
  Yeah. Didn’t say what. I think she was a bit embarrassed, says her co-workers are super weird.

MAG 084 Posessive ✒️

0260802 I LOVE MARTIN. I love Martin so much and Oh my gosh he just must want to kill himself. Genuinely. Because he's in hell. Jon needs a therapist and medication. I'M GOING TO DIE. MARTIN IS. GOSHHHH. MELANIE. HOLY SHIT. OHHH MY GOSH. TWO OF MY GOATS. WOW. See Q 2 what the fuck is Elias' problemmmm. GAHH.

• Q 1 below
  MARTIN
  With a pipe.
• MELANIE
  What, like burned him to death, or…?
• MARTIN
  A metal pipe.
• MELANIE
  Oh! Sorry, I just pictured him with like a smoking… y’know? I mean, that, that doesn’t sound like him, does it? I’ve only met him a couple of times, but beating an old man to death with a pipe seems kind of out of character.
• MARTIN
  Right? But everyone just seems totally convinced he did it. I mean, they think he did something to Sasha too.
• MELANIE
  Jesus. Which one?
• MARTIN
  Oh, uh, she was, um, another one of the research assistants, like me and Tim.
• MELANIE
  Yes, I know that, I meant –
• MARTIN
  She vanished around the same time as the murder, I think.
• MELANIE
  Oh, you know what, I am not doing this again.
• MARTIN
  You sure you’re alright?
• MELANIE
  Yes! I just got… God, I’m kind of at the end, you know?
• Q 2 below
• MARTIN
  I mean, that doesn’t actually, er, make her qualified.
• ELIAS
  [Pointedly] Formal qualifications aren’t everything, Martin.
  Do you want the job, Melanie?

MAG 083 Drawing a Blank ✒️

0260802 GOSH I LOVEEE GEORGIE. Um...Jon is so useless and sad. It is killing me. He needs his assistants bro. :(

• Q 1 below
  GEORGIE
  Okay. And just so you know: not keen on your weird stalkers knowing my address. Not keen on that.

MAG 082 The Eyewitnesses

0260802 HOLY SHIT THESE ARE MY GOATS. FUCK EVERYTHING. GAHHHH. THE RECORDER. FUCK EVERYTHING. FUCK. DAISY.

MAG 081 A Guest for Mr. Spider

0260702 Jesus. Jon. Why are you so sad. Gosh...well I guess he just told us why he is so sad, but. Whatever. I'm so freakin glad he's going to GET ALLIES JESUS CHRISTTTT GUYS. I WONDER WHO YOU COULD ASK! I WONDER! IF THERES.. maybe someone... someone you know who's been on your side the entire time idk. OH MY GOSH WHO IS THIS. GEORGIE. SO CUTE. the Admiral!! GAHH!! CUTIE! Oh my god he's fully not there. Fuck everything. Jeuss christ. nevermind. he has Zero allies. No Allies. Oh Wow. It's Over. Okay maybe its not THAT over. I love Georgie already. GAHH JON. WHAT A... FUCK!!!

• Q 1 He saved my life, and I can’t remember his name. Why does your memory do that to so many important people? Some people deserve to be remembered.
• Q 2 Stopped it. Ridiculous, of course, I was eight, but it has made me reconsider my attitude to getting help. I have consistently kept the others at arm’s length, tried to deal with things myself and it… it hasn’t gone well. Whatever is going on, this ‘Unknowing’ that S– Not! Sasha was talking about, Elias killing Gertrude and maybe Leitner as well… I need help. I need allies. I just wish this revelation didn’t come just as everyone is convinced I’m a deranged killer.
• Q 3 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Ooh… I think I’m alright.

— SEASON TWO —

MAG 080 The Librarian ✒️

0260702 I love Tim and Martin. Jesus what do I even say. Elias I am so glad you are comically evil. As God Intended.

MAG 079 Hide and Seek ✒️

0260702 Oh Jesus Christ. I LOVE Tim SO much. SO. MUCH. and Martin. and I hope Jon kills himself FASTER. Worse How? JOOOOONNNN~ ~. we cant just leave him. YEAHHHH WE CAN. i'm leaving. MAHTEN.

MAG 078 Distant Cousin

0260702 Jon is the saddest man alive and it is distracting me from important lore (Everyone Else). OH MY GOSH ALSO. How many times can we say Stranger (capital S) in one episode? I'm glad Dekker is a goat though.

MAG 077 The Kind Mother

0260702 Listening to this one on vc with Mags and my Internet Boyfriend. Ohhh yeah.

SUBTLE! RIGHT AFTER. SASHA. Goshhh. Gosh. Gosh. Gosh.

• Q 1 But now, in every one of them there stood this new woman where my mother should have been.

MAG 076 The Smell of Blood

0260702 MELANIE THE LOVEEEEE OF MY LIFE. See Q 1 gosh. Jon stpo .. stop talking. Q 2 LMFAO. SEE Q 3 AWWW BRO they're so freakin. Awwwwww. Ghost Hunting freakin Duo. Stupid. OHHH MY GOSH THEY'RE POINTING OUT SASHA. THANK GOD. Well. Melanie is. Fuck Jon.

• Q 1 below
  MELANIE
  I should have turned back, really, but by then I was kind of obsessed with finding anything to reassure me that I hadn’t been seeing things back in Aldershot.
• ARCHIVIST
  I think I understand the feeling.
• MELANIE
  I’m sure you do.
• Q 2 below
  MELANIE
  I was actually a meme for a day or two.
  You do know what that is, don’t you?
• ARCHIVIST
  Yes, I know what a meme is. You were saying?
• Q 3 below
  ARCHIVIST
  Became a noted occultist, whose memoirs and researches were only ever published in a heavily edited form. And we have unexpurgated copies.
• MELANIE
  Exactly.
• ARCHIVIST
  Did you find anything?

MAG 075 A Long Way Down 📑

0260602 MICHAEL CREW? MICHAEL CREW? ?IMICHAEL CREW MENTION? HEY!! HEY. HEY .,

This is Miserable. This is so sad. This is making me so sad. Oh my gosh. Poor fucking thing. OH MY GOSH THIS MAG IS HORRIBLE THIS EPISODE IS SOOOO BAD THI SIS MISERABLE OHHHHH MY GOSHHHHH MICHAELLLL. WHAT THE FUCK. MICHAEL CREW WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEMNMM!!!!! DON'T FUCKING : ( TERRORIZIE PEOPLE. JESUS FUCK. oh my god. Basira. Basira. Holy shit I love her. HOLY HUGE SHE'S THE ACTUAL LOVEEEEEE OFFF MY FUCKING LIFEEEEE. GOSHHHHH. GAHHH.

• Q 1 He kept his face away from me but I think he might have been crying.

MAG 074 Fatigue 📑

0260602 My boyfriend was very excited for this episode. I've also been! I mean, mostly just beacuse he is, but umm.. another friend of mine who likes TMA has mentioned this one quite a few times. SEE Q 1. OH MY GOSH. Michael. WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM. "names are overrated" GAHHHH BECAUSE !! BAECAHSCHXSJGSAFASFDUHVDSJ dude he's juts so stupid like he's. Oh my gosh Michael. That is a real name. There is no such thing as a real name. I JUST THREW UP AND KILLED MYSELF. I CAN'T DOT HIS. I've missed Michael sooo much. Gosh. Gosh. Gosh. and he laughs and laughs and laughs. What a joyfilled thing. What a whimsical thang. I am not a who, Archivist, I am a what. A who requires a degree of identity I can't ever retain. And yet his beautiful hair is never changing. Idkkk!!

• Q 1 There is a man in my living room. He is tall, with sandy blond hair that twists into unruly curls. I must have invited him in. He sits in my armchair, drumming his fingers together. They make an odd, clacking sound when they touch. I know him, though I have no idea where we might have met. His smile is friendly but I don’t like it. I apologise, tell him I’ve forgotten his name and he waves it away, saying that names are overrated, then asks how my day has been. I tell him I don’t know which day he means, and he laughs and laughs and laughs until my nose begins to bleed. I see the blood dripping onto the patterns I have been drawing. How long have I been drawing? It isn’t my pen.

MAG 073 Police Lights

0260602 FUCK. I love HER. GAH. THIS SHIT IS SO COOL (see q 1). It's just so goated that Jon could actually help them with the freakin lights :( The Institute Doing Something Good for like Once. Wonderful.

• Q 1 Thinking about it now, I realise, we never actually walked through the door.

MAG 072 Takeaway

0260602 a Spider Right under the PC I'm typing this one. It's a...very large daddy longlegs. It's now spent a while trying to climb the wall. Um..I guess it's kinda slippery. This is like the Magnus Archives. This episode is kind of not great but It's kinda ridiculous. MEAT IS ME. See Q 1, LOL. AWWW KILLING FLOOR MENTION. I ENJOYED KILLING FLOOR. THAT'S BANGER. See Q 2 aww.

• Q 1 I’ve had Martin looking into the case of John Haan, though it’s slow going, as whenever there’s a picture he ends up needing to take a breath of fresh air.
• Q 2 I rather hope that she… I hope she’s okay.

MAG 071 Underground

0260502 cannot help but like, be a menace. Why is he even in the room when these people talk. He's never even doing anything. The fuck is he doing. Why is he even There when they talk. They couldn't be left alone with the cassette recorder? Jon don't fuck with me. So, what. He stays there just so he can...? (see q 1,) act like This? BOY!!! GOSH. I just miss everyone else. I miss Martin. I miss Tim. I miss Daisy and Basira. I MISS SASHA. Hm.. I.. hm.. I mean... no, I don't really... Eliiias.... err...

• Q 1 below (eyeroll. jon..... what're we doing.)
  ARCHIVIST
  Well, that certainly sounds like an… unpleasant experience. I’m not sure I understand, though. Did you fall asleep, somehow, or…
• KAROLINA
  I must have done.
• ARCHIVIST
  That’s… that’s impressive. Do you still take the Tube?
• KAROLINA
  Of course. I live in London.
• ARCHIVIST
  Right. I, uh…

MAG 070 Book of The Dead

(see q 1) 0260502 his lots. um, the only thing i really have to note though, is that, before i reclaimed /supplemental, the supplemental from this episode was on there! jon's little rant about books. wow!

• Q 1 I just kept thinking to myself: the moment I die will feel just the same as this one. It’s not a thing forever in the future; I will be in that present just as surely as I am in this one. And I will end. I’ve never been a religious man, and I always say I take comfort in the idea of a peaceful oblivion but that’s a lie. I’m terrified.

MAG 069 Thought for the Day ✒️

0260402 Q 1? I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF THIS INSTANT. Q 2... Hello Foreshadowing... Hello VERY SUBTLE subtext... See Q 3 LOL I like this guy.

• Q 1 below
  MARTIN
  Look. John… when was the last time we all just talked? Just talked, without all of this –
• ARCHIVIST
  Thank you for the tea, Martin.
• MARTIN
  Okay. Fine.
  [DOOR OPENS]
  He’s not wrong, you know.
  [DOOR CLOSES]
• ARCHIVIST
  I know.
• Statement of Darren Harlow… [SIGH]
• Statement of Darren Harlow regarding a failed psychology experiment at the University of Surrey. Original statement given 18th November, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.
• Statement begins.
• Q 2 But you think sometimes about what the real world is. Just what your brain mixes together from what your senses tell you. We create the world in a lot of ways. I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that, when we’re not being careful, we can change it.
• Q 3 I mean she could talk about “group dynamics” and call it “proximity intuition” or whatever it was she said, but I know ESP research when I’m mopping its floors.

MAG 068 The Tale of a Field Hospital

0260402 the Fuck is happening with Sasha :(. Who IS THAT BRUH!!! See Q 1, spooky as fuck! Just like the guy said! WOw..

• Q 1 ‘You see, doctor, I am such a restless man.’

MAG 067 Burning Desire

0260402 I love when they describe it this way. Gosh. Not the way we think of it. So considerate. Such a nice kind way to talk about the non-human. I LOVE AGNES.

• Q 1 At least, I don’t see how she can have been human – not the way we think of it.

MAG 066 Held In Customs

0260402 Big fan of Salesa. See Q 1, this is so silly, considering he's OBVIOUSLY very similar to her already. The fuck is this guy doing. She's just smarter than Jon, I think.

• Q 1 Part of me is tempted to follow her lead and suspend my explorations, but the more I find out about Gertrude, the less I am inclined to trust her, and I am not sure emulating her is the wisest course of action.

MAG 065 Binary 📑✒️

0260402 I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE. I LOVE THIS GIRL ALREADY. I LOVE HER VOICE. AND THIS TOPIC. SO. KEWL. I love her so much. Holy shit. Oh my god this episode is so good already I can't do this. I love Tessa SO MUCH. Tessa Winters. I will not forget her. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. I LOVE HER SOOOOO MUCH.

I really hope Jon believes her. I hope the first comment he gives isn't just some "well, an expertly done EXE has tricked a "deep webber"" or some stupid shit.

• Q 1 below
• TESSA
  Yeah. We use the word “digital” to refer to one specific way of storing information – discrete signal values interpreted at pre-established levels. “Analog” is just a fancy way of saying “everything else.”
• ARCHIVIST
  I, uh –
• TESSA
  [speaking over him] Almost everything in the world is analog, but we’re obsessed with digital. We try to surrender everything into it, break the world down and turn it into as much binary as it takes. But it’s not the same.
• I used to work on OCR programs, teaching computers to read, to take the messy physicality of the written word and convert it into something that a computer can understand in a digital format.
• ARCHIVIST
  I’m not sure what this has to do with my tape recorder.
• TESSA
  Magnetic tape. Everyone thinks it’s analog, but it’s digital. A lower-tech version than what we use now, but people forget that it was used to store computerized data for decades. Maybe it reminds people of a film reel, or, or maybe nostalgia turns everything analog.
• Q 2 below
• TESSA
  I suppose it isn’t language, not really, because, because language as we use it is about as far from digital as you can get. We may call them words, but, the units of data that a computer works with are by their nature discrete and definite, while the words we use are clumsy, vague things, always at the whim of interpretation and decay.
• It’s the obvious thing to say, that a computer cannot feel, but it’s true. No sequence of distinct ones and zeros can replicate the swirling cocktail of chemicals and, and, you know, nerves that is a human being. Or any other animal for that matter. Nothing about humanity is binary.
• ARCHIVIST
  …r-right. So, you work in computers, then.
• Q 3 below
• ARCHIVIST
  I mean, that’s fascinating, Miss Winters, but I must politely ask you to start your statement.
• TESSA
  What do you think I’ve been doing?
• ARCHIVIST
  …traditionally, our concerns are with the particulars of the supernatural incident, its origins and manifestations.
• TESSA
  I’m giving you context.
• ARCHIVIST
  Fine…
• In that case, I still need to make the official notations.
• Q 4 below
  TESSA
  [heh] Well, first off, I didn’t find it on “the Deep Web” – god, it’s like talking to my grandpa! Let me explain something quickly: any time someone tries to give you a line about the “the Deep Web,” or even better, “the darknet,” chances are they wouldn’t know a VPN from their own ass. There’s not some secret, sinister underbelly of the internet where, with the right passwords and double-talk, you can hack your way into a black market of assassins, drug lords, and secret forums.
• It’s just that some websites, well, we need to be a bit more security-minded, and need you to use the right, you know, software, so you’re not monitored. – I mean, yes, there’s drug stuff on there, but it’s mostly just paranoid geeks who don’t want to be caught pirating Photoshop.
• ARCHIVIST
  Noted.
• Statement recorded direct from subject 7th January, 2017. Statement begins.
• Q 5 below
  TESSA
  Other versions get a bit more grotesque. Handwritten code in his own blood feeding into the machine. I even heard one where he took the direct approach, removed the casing of his computer, carved off the top of his skull, and used the last ounces of his strength to impossibly shove his own deceased brain right into the circuitry.

MAG 064 Burial Rites

0260302 See Q 1. So true. LOL. Oh my gosh poor fucking thing. Jesus :( (q 2). So KEWL (Q 3). Jon why are you such an asshole (q 4). WOAH AND HE'S STUPID. GOING TO THE STATION. BRUHHH. HE'S SO DUMB. LMFAO.

0260302 (explaining architecture to a tma fan) imagine a dimly lit, winding hallway, (/ref)

• Q 1 See, the thing is that there’s a lot of very valuable stuff in the ground
• Q 2 It almost seemed like it was crying But without tear ducts or lungs, there was no way to know.
• Q 3 I cannot imagine what they would have thought of a person who could not die.
• I can imagine what they would have done to them.
• Q 4 I feel anyone who brings me a statement about mummies deserves everything they get.

MAG 063 The End of the Tunnel

0260402 See Q 1. Big fan of this cadance and wording, LOL. See Q 2. Lesbians? Are Real? Goodness!! See Q 3, they're so stupid. See Q 4, TRUE! MAN! Mannn Man Man.

Spooky. Shit. Per usual. So cool.

Why is Jon such an asshole it's like unfathomable Everyone just hates his ass and he's so mean for No reason. Gosh. I love Melanie. Also, What? New Girl? What?

• Q 1 At least until he was...eaten by the darkness, last week.
• Q 2 All attempts to contact her have been prevented by her wife[...]
• Q 3 below
  MELANIE
  No! I, um – I actually do need your help.
• ARCHIVIST
  …
  Hm. Interesting.
• MELANIE
  All right, can you not be an arsehole about it? I just need access to your library.
• Q 4 below
• ARCHIVIST
  …What a strange woman.

MAG 061 Hard Shoulder 📑✒️

0260302 SEE Q 1 OHH MY GOSH SO CUTE. THEYRE SO CUTE. AWWWW. STUPID. STUPID STUPID. See Q 2 oh my god I just love her so much. Jon is so fucking embarrassing this is really hard to listen to. Like...so difficult. So. Difficult.

HOLY SHIT. DO NOT OPEN CALLBACK. I LOVEDDD DO NOT OPEN. AND VAMPIRES??? I LOVED. THE VAMPIRES. FUCK EVERYTHING. GAHHJHHAHSHA. I LOVE DAISY just SO MUCH. She's so goated. GOSH.

• Q 1 below
  DAISY
  ‘course, if anyone else ever hears it…
• ARCHIVIST
  You’ll arrest me.
• DAISY
  [heh] No.
• Q 2 below
  ARCHIVIST
  …Right. Um, so, you came to deliver one of the tapes.
  From Basira?
  The uh, the, the audio tapes.
  …
  So… can I have it? Please?
• DAISY
  I’m thinking.

MAG 060 The Observer Effect 📑

0260302 Oh my gosh wow. Isn't this like Jon? Thinking Emoji. GAH!! SEE Q 1. SO SPOOK. FREAKIN SPOOKY. Big fan of the centeredness of it. I love when there are details like that, and when they draw attention to how...like...made up everything about the stories feels. See Q 2, spooky as hell! Uh, see Q 3, I'm not huge on how Sasha is being. So freakin odd and kind of evil a little bit, like, a Bit Evil. Lets have no more.

• Q 1 I picked up the note first. The typing was neat, managed to be completely centered, even though the paper seemed to be a scrap that had been torn from a larger piece. It read, in all capitals:
• “BEHIND YOU.”
• Q 2 Those eyes still haunt my dreams and follow me through the waking world, even here. Especially here.
• Q 3 below
• ELIAS
  The police certainly do, but feel free to check it yourself.
• ARCHIVIST
  [tersely] Thank you. I will.
• SASHA
  And let’s have no more of this paranoia.

MAG 058 Trail Rations

0260302 See Q 1. Is this the most mention of Jonah? Am I stupid? Probably. I will say it is fun..um, like...admitting that I don't know jack. I just don't remember anything! LOL.

• Q 1 What interests me most is how this unsigned letter, if it is to be believed, made its way from an icebound cave in Wyoming or Idaho all the way to the personal collection of Jonah Magnus.

MAG 057 Personal Space 📑

0260302 This episode was so freakin good brah. I'm not really sure what to say. Well, like...I was listening to this one with my boyfriend, while studying for a Physics quiz, uh, at tims. I had finished most of my studying though, so I was just doodling. I remember...when Carter first mentioned that in his window he could See Earth (see Q 1), and that um... seeing it reassured him. I had written down "so it's going to be gone?", and then, well, it WAS gone. And despite that! Despite me correctly guessing what would happen, it was just so good. Just...see Q 2! so spooky. Man!!

• Q 1 I also had one large domed window. It allowed me a decent view of the Earth below, as well as plenty of chance to stare off into space, which I did quite a lot in those early days.
• Q 2 below
• E109GHT8.
• I can still remember it vividly as I entered that code over and over in an attempt to get that locked door to open. Each time I painstakingly entered it with as much precision as I still had within me, and each time the password field read out what I had apparently typed in:
• “No one is coming”

MAG 056 Children of the Night 📑✒️

0260202 IT WAS A FAKE OUT. THAT IS SO SILLY. I've just started it as of typing this, and I'm very excited, as this is one of my favourite earlier episodes. Trevor Hebert is my actual goat I just love him so much. Gosh. HE SWITCHED TO IT/ITS. SO BEAUTIFUL (see q 1). OHHH YEAH I KNEW this season would be spiders. Since Jon first saw one Oh my gosh thats so hype. And the webs in the basement. KYAAA. HER BODY WAS FULL OF COBWEBS. THAT'S SOOOO COOL....

See Q 2 goated that he's acknowledging stuff happening two him...

Okay so I just had to pause it Um because Jon is yelling at Martin for literally no reason and I'm going to kill myself. This is difficult. This is so difficult. What the hell is his PROBLEM. GAHHHH. "Oh, sorry!" GAHHH MARTIN. Oh my gosh I'm going to kill myself. I can't do this. Jon is. Oh my gosh. This is awful. Oh my god. OH MY GOSH MARTIN LIED ON HIS CV. OHHH MY GOSH. GOSH THIS IS SO HADHFHHHADHADHSA. JON. AHHHHAHDHAHAHAHAHA. Right, Ah, I...ah....I BELIEVE YOU. OH MY GOD. I'M SO HAPPY. JON IS SO HAPPY. HE DOESNT CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT!!!! HE DOESN'T CARE LITERALLY AT ALL. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I am trying very hard to not like look stupid typing this in my class right now. But oh my Gosh. Oh my god. Fuck everything I Love them So much Oh my god. I need to paste that entire thing here because I'm going to kill myself if I don't reread that like...1 billion times. Oh my god. Wow. JonMartin Peak. Jesus Christ.

Jon is just so embarassing. That was all so difficult to listen to. Jon is just such a menace. I mean its like..probably not his fault, You Know, but it doesn't help that he's seemingly Always been a menace of sorts. I really like how Jon like is like "next to where you used to sleep, YOUR hand writing" when he clearly already admitted its his. LOL. [slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you. [slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you. Fuck everything.

[slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you.

• Q 1 Finally I got close enough to grab her by the arm. My fingers locked around her elbow, and then they sort of sunk inside. They didn’t go through the skin or anything but it sort of shifted beneath my fingers like when you squeeze an uncooked sausage.
• I could feel movement from inside the arm itself. It wasn’t a vampire but it definitely wasn’t human.
• Q 2 As for the spider person, the only proof of its existence seems to be that I am far too unlucky for it to simply be an old tramp hallucination.
• I need to have some words with Martin.
• Q 3 below
  [CLICK]
• ARCHIVIST
  Sit down.
• MARTIN
  What is–?
• ARCHIVIST
  Sit. Why did you lie to me about Trevor?
• MARTIN
  What?
• ARCHIVIST
  [agitated] Why did you tell me he was dead?
• MARTIN
  Sorry, who’s… who’s Trev–
• ARCHIVIST
  Trevor Herbert. The tramp? The vampire hunter. You told me he died.
• MARTIN
  [nervously] But I mean he… did. Didn’t he?
• ARCHIVIST
  Apparently not.
• MARTIN
  Oh! Sorry.
• ARCHIVIST
  Sorry?
• MARTIN
  I mean, I–I didn’t ever actually meet him. I just heard some of the other researchers mentioning it.
• ARCHIVIST
  [whispered] What?
• MARTIN
  Yeah, well, I could’ve sworn they said he died. I mean… maybe they just said he looks like death or something –
• ARCHIVIST
  [scoffs]
• MARTIN
  I really thought they said he was dead.
• ARCHIVIST
  [venomously] So that’s it. Just a misunderstanding.
• MARTIN
  [stammering] Yes. You seem to be taking this kind of personal–
• ARCHIVIST
  Because you keep lying to me, Martin!
• MARTIN
  About what?!
• ARCHIVIST
  I don’t know. But you are.
  [RUSTLING PAPER]
• MARTIN
  Where did you get that? Have you been going through the bin?
• ARCHIVIST
  It was in the old document room, just next to where you used to sleep. Your handwriting. “If the others find out I’ve been lying” – lying about what, Martin?
• MARTIN
  Look, just forget about it, okay? Please.
• ARCHIVIST
  I can’t forget it. Everyone in this place has so many goddamn secrets and I can’t trust a word you say. Not about this and not about Trevor –
• MARTIN
  John, just–
  [ARCHIVIST SLAMS ON DESK]
• ARCHIVIST
  [shouting] Martin!
• MARTIN
  Okay! Okay! Okay. Just… just… promise you won’t… fire me.
• ARCHIVIST
  [scoffing] Fire you – fine.
  [MARTIN TAKES DEEP BREATH]
• MARTIN
  I lied on my CV.
• ARCHIVIST
  …what.
• MARTIN
  I don’t have a master’s in parapsychology. I don’t even have a degree.
  I was 17, my mum, she had – she had some problems and I ended up dropping out of school trying to support us. I tried everything but nowhere was hiring, so I just kind of started to lie on my application, sending them out to just about anywhere.
  For some reason my lie about parapsychology got me an interview with Elias and – and then a job here. But most of my employment details are made up. I’m only 29.
• ARCHIVIST
  [slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you.
• MARTIN
  …why are you smiling?
• ARCHIVIST
  [audibly smiling] Yes, um, I jus… I won’t mention it to Elias. Just between us.
• MARTIN
  [hesitant] So you don’t mind?
• ARCHIVIST
  To be quite honest, Martin,, I’m really rather relieved.
  [CLICK]

MAG 055 Pest Control

0260102 so silly. i love this guy (see q 1 and 2).

See Q 3. I really umm. Well. I have a fear of ants. Its sort of bigger than that, I mean...I had bad trypophobia growing up, that originated from burrowing bugs. I've always been scared of ladybugs and ants in addition to this, mostly separately, as many of my houses were infested with these insects. As I got older, the ladybug thing turned more into a "flying insect" thing, but ants are still the worst...Well, anyway. This episode is hell. This is hell. I am in hell.

see q 4, oh my gosh. poor fucking thang. what is his problem. jeeezz. oh my gosh :( brah. why is he so sad. saddest man alive. fawk.

• Q 1 Wow! No, nothing like that. Just the smell, but, I mean, I’ll get to that.
• Q 2 I mean, I guess I could say killing things is sort of exerting control over them, but I’ve always felt that trying to sanitize my job is somehow a bit dishonest. Like trying to help people forget that what they’re actually doing is commissioning the deaths of creatures which we’ve deemed too disgusting or unhealthy to live.
• Q 3 I could see faint movement on the wooden floor as I looked around for the light switch. I found it quickly enough, and flicked it on to reveal exactly what I’d expected. Ants. I just hadn’t expected that many. And there were so very many of them.
• Q 4 below
• Supplemental.
• I… I don’t have much to report, actually. It’s been Halloween week, which means the research department is always inundated with statements. Most of them are patently false, but the volume means that they’ve called in the archive to assist with the overflow.
• It’s… been nice, actually. Disproving piles of nonsense felt good, like real work, not just driving myself to distraction with conspiracy theories and paranoia. I even got a good night’s sleep. I miss those days.
• End supplemental.

MAG 054 Still Life 📑

0260102 (see q 1) autism shoutout. huge. see q 2, SO FUCKING SPOOKY. SOOOO OOOO COOL. SEE Q 3 HOLY THIS SHIT IS SO SPOOKY AND AWESOME. FUCK. oh my gosh awww awww the jon (q 4). Q 5? LMFAO. WHAT IS HIS FUCKING DEAL. um. not huge on the eyes being cut out thing. it reminds me just a bit of jon, like, thats something he'd do. cuz he being #WATCHED.

• Q 1 It was a little bit disconcerting, but I have a cousin with autism so it wasn’t an entirely new situation to me.
• Q 2 “We’ve got one down here. Come on, I’ll show you.”
• Q 3 I recognized the glassy stare. The same eyes that gazed at me from a hundred sawdust filled sockets around the room.
• Q 4 I may not entirely trust my assistants but I won’t lose them.
• Q 5 below
  [CLICK]
• Supplemental.
• I broke into Gertrude’s flat.

MAG 053 Crusader ✒️

0260102 MARTIN YOU ARE SOOO CUTE. WOW (see q 3). Also, I am so glad that Gerturde is the goat she is. Big fan of her talking like Jon in her comments on this one, (see q 1 and 2).

• Q 1 Well, that was certainly useful.
• Q 2 Regardless, I have further follow-up of my own to do. My biggest concern right now is whatever creature Mr. Heller encountered down there. It was 56 years ago, but if it’s still alive, I should be careful. What was it? A guardian of some sort? Or perhaps… perhaps… it too was once an archivist.
• Q 3 Are we all destined to end up like Gertrude, just following the same path? I need to find out more about her. One thing’s becoming clear, though. She did not trust the Magnus Institute. Something that I can certainly sympathize–
  [DOOR OPENS]
• MARTIN
  Was just going down to the cafe, did you want a sandwich?
• ARCHIVIST
  Er, that depends. Are you are you going to keep hovering around me if I go to the canteen?
• MARTIN
  I just worry. You needed five stitches after you “accidentally” stabbed yourself with the bread knife. If you’re still claiming that’s what happened–
• ARCHIVIST
  I am.
• MARTIN
  – then you’ll forgive me for worrying when you use sharp knives.
• ARCHIVIST
  Fine. I’ll come with. Just give me a second to grab my coat.
• MARTIN
  Sure.

MAG 052 Exceptional Risk

0263101 (see q 1) jesus christ he's not real at all. this is difficult. i really like thinking about his scars though, they must look so interesting. and its...cool that they all match, right? like with the scars. i should relisten to that episode to make sure they all have the Same scars. they mustve commented something on it. (see q 2) he's so RIDICULOUS. this is just so ridiculous. shut UPPPP BRAHH

• Q1 below
• BASIRA
  Yeah. Oh, what’s the name of that helper of yours?
• ARCHIVIST
  Uh, Martin.
• BASIRA
  No, no – the hot one. He has scars like you, but kind of manages to pull them off –
• ARCHIVIST
  Yes, Tim.
• BASIRA
  Yeah, what’s his deal? He gave me the weirdest grin when I came in just now and like… the thumbs up?
• ARCHIVIST
  I… I wouldn’t worry about it.
• BASIRA
  No?
• ARCHIVIST
  [sigh] …he thinks we’re sort of… together?
• BASIRA
  Oh – Oh. Oh, no. You know I’m no –
• ARCHIVIST
  Yeah I know, me neither, he just got it in his head –
• BASIRA
  – I mean you’re nice and all –
• ARCHIVIST
  – yes – yes, no, I feel the same way.
• Q 2 No luck with any of my other leads yet, but at least I have another of Gertrude’s tapes. It’s always going to be a shot in the dark with them, but hopefully an informative one. I know the secret to her death is on one of them. It must be.

MAG 050 Foundations ✒️

0263001 see q 1, holy this shit is so peak. see q 2, ohhh my god. wow. jesus. wow...can someone get his ass? NOW? like? take him out? like? like Kill Jon? thanks.

• Q 1 “Balance,” he told me. “Equilibrium. The hardest thing for an architect to achieve. Symmetry is easy, but does not, in and of itself, result in balance. To stir the feelings of man, to create a small place of being divorced from the rest of the world, while still retaining that balance, is the true goal of the architect.”
• Q2 below
• ARCHIVIST
  She’s, uhhh. I’m, I’m helping her with some of the investigation. Off the record.
• TIM
  Oh.
  Ohhh.
  Say no more!
• ARCHIVIST
  Tim, wh-what are you –
• TIM
  Don’t worry, I’m cool. Good work, boss.
• ARCHIVIST
  Oh! No, Tim, that’s not what I – it’s really not like that –
• TIM
  [speaking over him] I’ll go see if I can dig anything else out on Scott, and I’ll let you know if she comes back.
  [DOOR CLOSES]
• ARCHIVIST
  That really isn’t what –
• [sigh] End supplemental.

MAG 049 The Butcher's Window

0263001 (explaining indie horror games to a tma fan) imagine a meat pit, (/ref)

MAG 047 The New Door 📑

0263001 OHHHH MY LORD OH MY LORD OH MY GOD. OHH MY GOD MICAHEL. holy shit i love michael so much. wow. like all of it. the cadence is so good. the distant laugh is so good. his lack of social skills is astounding. does michael have autism? i don't ermember when, but at some point, when i was listening to it for the first itme, i really did think "huh, this is like...really autistic.". i'll have to find what that is in a second. ok hi refer to q 1 it was most certainly the "im not very good at it" bit. like awww. the michael. was born yesterday. or, was never born at all, and always Was. yet recently, clearly, started um... transitioning from "was" to "is"! wow.

they're saying he's "the most pathetic man ever conceived of"? (see q 2)

• Q 1 below
• MICHAEL
  I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain.
• ARCHIVIST
  So… Michael isn’t your real name, what?
• MICHAEL
  There is no such thing as a real name.
• ARCHIVIST
  What are you talking about?
• MICHAEL
  I am talking about myself. It’s not something I’m used to doing, so I’m sorry if I’m not very good at it.
• Q 2 below
• ARCHIVIST
  Ah… owww…
  M-Michael? Michael…!?
  Ah. End recording.

MAG 046 Literary Heights

0263001 big fan of all this (see q 1).

• Q 1. There was another thing, too. Whenever he was in, the lightbulbs in my shop would burn brighter. I didn’t even realize this until he’d been coming for several months, as it was usually in daylight when he went shopping. But when winter made its presence known, his late afternoon visits began to take place after dark, and I noticed that whenever he came in, the shop got brighter. The bulbs would start to buzz very softly, and the filaments within them would glow with a surprising intensity. There was this strange electric crackling, and once I even got a shock when I turned a lamp on.
• Q 2. The events here seem to have taken place a couple of years after those of statement 9991006. Could his exposure to The Boneturner’s Tale have catalyzed an interest in Jurgen Leitner? Or perhaps an early experiment? It seems as though he was attempting to use the book as protection against whatever was chasing him. Did The Boneturner’s Tale not work in that regard…? And what was it that chased him, bringing that smell with it?
• Q 3. I did go down there to see if I could find anything, but it seems much as it did last time. The only difference now is… all the spiderwebs. They seem to have spread down there. I think I saw some of the larger specimens actually eating the remains of the worms. It was a… disconcerting sight, and I left almost immediately.

MAG 045 Blood Bag ✒️

0263001 JON IS THE STUPIDEST MAN ALIVE I JUST CAN'T DO THIS.

• Q 1. Why? I can’t find any other indication of an interest in the paranormal, nothing to indicate this area of study appealed to him. And why stay after everything that happened with Prentiss? Is it just loyalty or could it be something –
• [DOOR OPENS]
  MARTIN
  Hey, I just wanted to check if you wanted a cup of tea?
• ARCHIVIST
  Uh…
• MARTIN
  Oh, oh, sorry, are you recording? I, I thought you were done for the day?
• ARCHIVIST
  I-I was. I am. It’s…
• MARTIN
  Why do you have pictures of Tim?
• ARCHIVIST
  It… it’s a performance review thing, going over some files for it.
• MARTIN
  But that looks like a picture of his house?
• [RUSTLING OF PAPERS]
  ARCHIVIST
  [Abruptly] Confidential files that you… legally you shouldn’t really be looking at them. Please, er, please leave, Martin.
• MARTIN
  Right, right. Right, right…
• Did you want that tea?
• ARCHIVIST
  No. Thank you, Martin.

MAG 044 Tightrope

0263001 gertrude has a lovely fucking voice wow. jon is so embarrassing.

• Q 1. I have prised up one of the floorboards, and will be hiding them beneath there from now on.

MAG 042 Grifter's Bone ✒️

0263001 see q. 1, uh, WHAT A HOMO!!! get out of my face!

• Q 1. Supplement. I’ve been watching Martin. He’s been very attentive to my needs and recovery since I returned to work, almost to the exclusion of his own tasks. Previously I might have ascribed such ministrations to his own lax work ethic, but in the stress of Prentiss’ attack, I am sure I glanced moments of competence, or even cunning, that are beyond what his previous work would indicate. Is he playing the fool? Purposefully failing in his tasks to delay or hinder my investigations? It’s possible. He has also shown remarkable interest in my own theories as to who killed Gertrude. I have thus far diverted him by saying I believe it to be whatever is lurking in the tunnels below, but he seems… unsatisfied by that response.
• I’m glad he’s moved out of the Archives, as it gives me a chance to work here without his constant presence. Also because he managed to leave some of his possessions behind, for the most part it’s just a few books of relatively awful poetry. There are a few pieces I feel could almost have been affecting if his style wasn’t so obviously enamoured with Keats, but there is an unfinished letter addressed to his mother in Devon, in which he mentions that he is worried about “the others finding out I’ve been lying”.
• It may be nothing, some inconsequential deception or other – after all, it is ostensibly written to his mother – but if it was actually to be sent to someone else… I will keep my eye on Martin.

— SEASON ONE —

MAG 038 Lost and Found 📑

0263001 holy peak. this episode reminds me quite a lot of my favourite episode of The Twilight Zone. I often try to get my friends to watch it, or really any episode of the show, since it's so wonderful. since i first heard of the magnus archives, it's reminded me of the twilight zone. they're just so similar in nature and tone and stuff...anyways. its episode 11 of season one, "And When the Sky Was Opened". i won't spoil it, but they're...i mean...theyre very different in ways, but...i don't know. maybe its just a common sort of story, and they're relatively, then, much too different to be making this comparison. nonetheless, i adore the episode, and therefore of course i have so much pre-existing love for Lost and Found.

MAG 034 Anatomy Class 📑 7

0262901 this is my favourite episode by far (44 being as late as i am, lol). i'm not even sure particularly why! i'm a big fan of the um...guy who voices the academic, and i just love the entities in it so much. its such a spooky story.

MAG 033 Boatswain's Call ✒️

0260402 (See Q 1) Big fan of all these happenings. So ridiculous. Tim is the best I love him lots. (very grumpy)

• Q 1 below
  ARCHIVIST
  (impatient) Look, Tim, I’d love to discuss this further, but as you can see, I have a recording to do.
• TIM
  (coaxing) Oh, come on. Look, it’s not a big deal. We just need to do a few of them again –
• ARCHIVIST
  Out of the question.
• TIM
  It’s just confusing if not. Er, like the garbageman’s statement –
• ARCHIVIST
  (overlapping) Mr. Woodward.
• TIM
  Yeah, so, you said that Alan Parfitt was reported missing… ah, in August 2009, which would actually be six months (laugh) after the statement had been given.
• ARCHIVIST
  (grumpy) Obviously it should have been 2008, I misspoke an ‘8’ as a ‘9,’ What does it matter?
• TIM
  Well, someone noticed.
• ARCHIVIST
  Who?
• TIM
  Er, Josh Cole – uh, great guy – he’s one of the students using our resources for a dissertation? Um… oh, and here, in Miss Montauk’s statement, about her father’s killings, you refer to case, um, 9220611 as case, um, 1106922.
• Oh, and don’t get me started on the other case numbers around the Hill Top hauntings, they’re a mess –
• ARCHIVIST
  (very grumpy) Alleged hauntings. And who honestly cares if I misspoke case 9220611 as 1106922? Another student?
• TIM
  (obstinately chipper) Uh, well, actually, yes. Um, Samantha Emery – she’s lovely – she’s actually doing a PhD in manifestations…
• ARCHIVIST
  I don’t care. If it’s not enough that Gertrude left us with such a pointlessly awkward filing system, half the time she doesn’t even stay consistent in her own records.
• TIM
  Um – to be honest with you, er, I don’t really understand the system.
• ARCHIVIST
  Last three digits of the year, then the day, then the month. I don’t know why she did it like that, but I can’t change it now.
• TIM
  Ohhh… okay… Alright, so what happens if more than one statement is given on the same day?
• ARCHIVIST
  I… don’t know. It never came up. Was there anything else?
• TIM
  Oh yeah, just one.
• ARCHIVIST
  (overlapping mutter) Good lord…
• TIM
  So, in case 8163103, it isn’t clear if Albrecht’s wife is called ‘Clara’ or ‘Carla,’ ‘cause you keep switching back and forth…
• ARCHIVIST
  Well, I’m sorry if I found it hard to read a 200-year old letter, written in cursive by a native German speaker. Who complained about that one?
• TIM
  (cheery demeanor wearing thin) Oh, it’s, it’s not a complaint! I just noticed, actually.
  Um, look, okay. I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure… it’s not a big deal, I just think it might be worth re-recording these statements.
• ARCHIVIST
  (boiling over) No. I don’t have time. I still have a mountain of haphazard statements to get through, not to mention that I need to keep this wretched tape recorder on hand just in case I encounter one of the files too stubborn to work on anything else. And when I do, I have to actually read the damn thing, which is…
• TIM
  (background) Oh, woah, woah… woah!
• ARCHIVIST
  (more quietly) …is fine. It’s… fine, I just haven’t been sleeping much these last few months, what with all this… worm business. Which reminds me, if you do see Elias, tell him thanks for the extra extinguishers.
• TIM
  Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Um…
  It’s getting bad. I mean, Martin keeps showing me his tongue (uncomfortable laugh) and asking if it “looks infested”. Um… so what do you want me to do about these errors?
• ARCHIVIST
  I really don’t care. Put a Post-It on the tapes or something. I’m not re-recording them. Now if you’ll excuse me…
• TIM
  Oh, yeah, sure, yep, I’ll let you get back to it.

MAG 027 A Sturdy Lock

0260402 For some reason, this is one of my favourite mags. Big fan of the Key thing.

MAG 026 A Distortion 📑✒️

0262202 what even...is there to say. How would a melody describe itself when asked?

MAG 023 Schwartzwald

0262202 what a family tree.

MAG 022 Colony

0262202 way spookier than i remember. martinn. martin i love you so much. your job is NOT WORTH THIS

MAG 017 The Boneturner's Tale

0262102 I FUCKING LOVE THIS MAG. I COMPLETELYH FORGOT HOW GOOD this fFUCKKKINGGGG EP IS. JARED. MIKE. MARTIN. ELIAS. JESUS FUCK. LUKAS FAMILY. JESUS FUCK. LEITNER. FUCKKK. FUCKK..FJSJIODFCOIJSADFHSDCJKOSDFEJ.

MAG 016 Arachnophobia

0262102 holy absolute peak. like genuinely. as it stands, i'm listening to this with gabe, at the library.

best "jon is being ridiculously dismissive again" episode.

MAG 015 Lost Johns' Cave

TAKE HER, NOT ME.

MAG 010 Vampire Killer 📑

0253101 big fan of the it/its/[name] vampires. for MAG 9, i said it was the first episode to give me true hope for the detail in these stories. this, MAG 10, was the first episode to make me not Care about the Series! It was just such a good story, i think i had decided i wouldn't mind listening even if the story wasn't very good. such unfathomable peak. (see q 1) big fan of this wording. the way Trevor has no issue admitting the ways he's like..still Learning about the vampires...it's so cool. (see q 2) this is such an interesting way to put this. obviously with the second sentence he's referencing how he earlier explained you can "understand" them without them actually speaking, but to actually hear someone say "i understood he wouldnt be giving me any money" and to instantly realize all that "understood" can actually mean, within the context. just so well written.

• Q 1 It struck me that the vampire must be a very dry creature when not fresh-fed and engorged.
• Q 2 The man looked at me and I understood he wouldn’t be giving me any money, and I stepped away. It was as he turned to leave I realised that he hadn’t opened his mouth, and memories of Sylvia McDonald came rushing back to me in a flash.

MAG 009 A Father's Love

0263101 i'm relistening after listening to MAG 52, the one about her father's death. i'm enjoying relistening to it quite a bit, as this is one of the first episodes that really made me hope for the series--i don't know how to word the hope, just...i hoped it would be something. that the details would matter. and as i found out, however long later, they really do mean something!

MAG 006 Squirm

0260102 I'm relistening to this one after quite a while. So interesting it's just sooo interesting I am a big fan of this one...I completely forgot about it until far after Jane was relevant. Which is kinda crazy! You know, like, considering...??? Well anyway. I like it quite a bit and I think it was pretty fantastic, especially for an earlier episode, of which I find less... particularly memorable.

I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE JANE WAS NAMEDROPPED ON THIS. FUCK ME. I'M SO STUPID.

MAG 003 Across the Street

0260402 I miss this guy SO BAD. What is his DEAL. I love his table, too. Gosh. Goshhh.

MAG 002 Do Not Open 📑

0260402 Such Fucking Peak. Guy who'd survive a horror film. Guy who'd survive a people-eating coffin. Guy who needs a good night's sleep.

“ I’m… I’m going to go lie down. ” ...

... Statements end.

... Supplemental.

...
End recording.