Mark: We have some breaking news tonight as we have uncovered more information about the latest "Sonic.exe stabbing" that happened which killed two people and injured one. Perpetrator Amanda Rich was recently found dead in her bedroom last night by her mother due to a self-inflicted slash to the neck, with multiple cuts on her arms forming the letter X over and over again. Her PC showed something in Notepad which said "I did it for you, X". It is currently unknown who this X individual is. We now go live to our interview session with the injured victim who has made a full recovery and has been released into her home once again. Daphne?

Daphne: Thank you, Mark. Now, before we continue with this interview, what's your name?

Alix: Alix Hayes, thank you.

Daphne: Right, we're just going to ask you a couple questions related to the stabbing. First off, what were Amanda's behaviors before the incident?

Stephen King rams his go-kart into the stage, killing the two of them instantly

Stephen: TELL THAT FAGGOT (positive) PRODUCER TO STOP BUTCHERING MY STORY

The camera crew looks at the King (of pedophilia) with terror, praying to their atheistic gods that they be spared so that they can continue posting on Reddit. Stephen gives the fat latina immigrant who does the transitions the thousand-island stare.

Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT PRO-TRUMP PRODUCER IS? THE ONE WHO REMOVED MY FIVE CHAPTER LONG CHILD SEX SCENE? I NEED TO BREAK HIS FUCKING LEGS

Moments before the latina takes the easy way out and explodes her brain by thinking too much the producer walks on stage, revealing himself to be none other than the anti-child porn fascist Donald J. Trump.

Donald: I’m sorry Stephen, but I can’t allow you to publish that book the way it is. You see, I’m a conservative, that means I’m gonna have to push back against your far-left agenda by allowing the child sex scenes to only be at most a single chapter.

Stephen: FUCKING DRUMPF I WILL KILL YOU

Stephen pulls out his lightsaber and kills Drumpf.

The End