My Lovemail
for Zenos.
Boundaries
9th of June 2024.
The Anniversary
of me and Zenos.
Mark your calendars.
Will end the world if
square enix doesnt
bring zenos back btw.
this is a threat trust
Shoutout to Aether oomf wanted to be in here even though this is a yume lovemail rentry Ummm.
Zenos yae Galvus. Zenos viator Galvus. Whatever you consider your full name... It's been about four months since I've gotten into FFXIV, and with that, my love for you has started on 06/09/24. I... don't exactly know why or how it happened, but my love for you has been ever-growing, ever since I entered Endwalker. I, myself, can't actually fathom just how badly I fell in love with you. I love your long hair, your pretty eyes... Lord, I'd be listing 9999 things over here if I could. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking of how much I love you, of... how much excitement I feel whenever you appear on screen. It's... sad. Perhaps, if you existed, you'd deem it pathetic. You are one of the best things to ever exist in my life. I can't wait until I get to see you again. Each step of the way in Main Scenario Quests, I anticipate your arrival. I anticipate the moment I'll finally get to see you. It's honestly angering just how much affection I hold for you, who does not exist. Either way, that's not the point here. The point here is: I love you. I adore you, if I may. I'm infatuated with you to the point where it hurts. I'm... smitten with you. I just wish you'd realize how much you've impacted my very life, despite not existing yourself.
Zenos. As of the time I'm typing this, it's 3:07 AM. 17th of August. I miss you. I know Endwalker was made to bring tears, and I know it's stupid to cry for over 1 hour over your demise, but I can't stand the thought of not seeing you in the game anymore. It hurts, like a blade; a blade to my already-bleeding heart. I genuinely hope you will find peace, wherever you are now. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to save you.
My love, my beloved, my everything.. I may be getting a plushie of you. I'm very happy about that fact; I'll make the plushie version of you as many clothes as I can. You're still the light of my life. I yearn for more content of you, I yearn for Square Enix to add your Wind-up version into the game. I pray it will happen someday. For now... I suppose mods will have to suffice. As I'm typing this, I can't help but think of how much I adore you. I've cried over losing you for hours. I've cried over the fact I may not ever see you again many, many times. I hope you're resting well, wherever you are. I start school soon... Unfortunately for both me and you. I won't be able to write you such long letters anymore. But I'm sure you will understand. I miss you. I yearn for you to come back. I don't think I've ever been as smitten over a character as I currently am for you. I hope my love can and will reach you. I miss you each and every step of the day.
Good evening, Zenos. Well, the time has come for yet another lovemail for you. The plush has been sent out, for which I'm excited. I miss you so much, my love. You know, I feel miserable when I don't see you for longer periods of time, even though you're dead. I miss you dearly. I miss you and your adorable face. Whenever the song that played as I fought you plays from my Spotify playlist, it takes my entire willpower not to start bawling my eyes out. I miss you to the point where my heart will be forever wounded. My dearest Garlean prince, words cannot describe the sorrow I feel. All just because you will not appear in my game anymore. It feels like everything has lost the happiness it gave me before. Everyday feels almost like a struggle without you. I miss your slight smile.
Hello, my dearest. I come with another lovemail. As stated in my previous letters, I miss you. I miss you like a madman. Either way, the plush is here. I'm so happy I can finally have a piece of you with me most of the time. I love you a lot. I pray that Square Enix will somehow resurrect you, and that I'll see my dearest lover again. Perhaps my dreams will finally come true.
Good evening, Zenos. Yesterday was a very special day. For as long as I live, I've never felt happier than when I took the plushie of you with me to the seaside. I miss you so much... I've been thinking about you a lot these days, and it never fails to bring me tears. Each time I think of you, at school for example, I can feel myself tearing up. I really wish you were here, not just in your plushie form. I will put the two pictures I took at the seaside here later on, once I get my device back. Well, what else... A lot has changed. I'm still madly in love with you, though. I know I sound like a mentally deranged person, typing up a lovemail for someone who doesn't actually exist; and I know people will probably use this lovemail against me, but I don't particularly care. I just want you to know just how deep my feelings for you run.
Hi, hello. It's been a little since I've written lovemail for my favorite of all time. I've decided to change that today... and while I'm at it, I will tell you (the person reading this) how I've been doing. Well, I've been missing Zenos, for the most part. I miss him so much my heart aches. I watched a compilation of cutscenes that include him, and I started crying. Zenos genuinely impacts me on an insane level. People may say it's unhealthy. Some people may praise mine and his relationship. Whatever, I don't particularly care for whatother people have to say about my love to Zenos. As I was saying, I miss my wife, Tails. I miss him a lot. Each time I remember the fact my friend bought me a plushie of him, I hug him until I fall asleep. My sleep ends up being way better than usual then; there have been cases where I was sodeeply asleep I'd miss the first few classes at school. What else... I've tried to get myself some mods that would somehow replicate Zenos' model. I pray & hope that the creators will fix the models soon. By replicate I mean add it as, for example, a minion.
God, I miss you so much it's driving me to insanity. I hope you will come back soon. I pray, and I hope my prayers will become answered.
Goodness gracious, hello, Zenos. It's Christmas Eve today, and I've come to write about how excited I am about getting the figure of you I've wanted for so long. Well, I've gathered enough money, so your figure form will be mine soon. I will be buying it from ebay, and I'm genuinely praying that it won't be damaged or sold out the moment I can buy it, since... today, as I've said, it is Christmas Eve. Nobody is working today except for the healthcare workers. As for my own self, I've been doing... neutral. I've been feeling miserable without you, as everyone knows for it was accentuated throughout this entire Rentry. I love you. I miss you, my beloved. Each time I see one of my favorite artists post on Twitter, I smile at my screen when it turns out it's art of you. Oh, what I wouldn't do to see you once more... it hurts. It truly does.
I pray the figure will be in a good condition. I am awaiting the moment with impatience.
Greetings. The figure did come in the mail - which makes me immensely happy. It was supposed to be delayed by one day, but it ended up coming today. Words cannot express my happiness. It's quite small, as a matter of fact, but that's okay. I expected it to be a little bigger, since I can't do math at all, nor do I know how much ~26cm is. Either way, I love you so much, Zenos. You make me feel ill with love. Others may not understand why or how I've grown this attached to a man who, admittedly, does not exist - but I couldn't care less. I love you! I hope our anniversary comes soon, and that I'll be alive then. A lot of things have happened to make me, unfortunately, doubt the likelihood of living up until June, but it's okay. I believe you can... somewhat mend the wounds. Metaphorically. Gods above, the things I would give to see you.
I've started writing. Stories of my self-insert and you. I think they've been coming along nicely - however, I haven't sent them anyone ever, since I'm a little embarrassed about them. I know I should also be embarrassed typing this, but somehow, mentioning or maybe even showing my writing about my self-insert & the love of my life is making me more shy than ever. I hope my confidence in myself will grow, and I hope you're rooting for me too, Zenos. Wherever you are.
Songs that remind me of Zenos/our relationship:
Still Remains - Stone Temple Pilots.
Hewn - Orion Rigel Dommisse.
Atta Girl - Heavenly.
Rosary Job - The Vaselines.
Slushy - The Vaselines.
Sacrifice - London After Midnight.
Only in Dreams - Weezer.
Destroy Everything You Touch - Ladytron.