#hyenis #saluya #seoko #yuanxi ♡ 🐰🐺
14.05.2023 ⑅ love letters to my dearest forever
Entry 1 — Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby
I've never been the best with my words, even writing this it's hard. Even after my countless love letters to you, it's hard to come up with an opening part. One of the better ways I can describe my undying love for you is the feeling after I read or watch something romance related, the smell of matcha, or even the comfort of silence. I've never been the biggest on huge gestures, so small gestures like those mean the world. I love you easily — loving you is as easy as breathing, and every breath is the smell of a flower field.
I'm not open about our relationship but I am at the same time. Everyone knows we're dating, but no one knows what we do behind close doors. Of course I will always talk about you any chance I get. I mean, how can I not? You're perfect in my eyes, and that's all that matters. Everyone will always think I'm incapable of love but I yearn for you. Every moment we're away from each other, I yearn for you — I adore you. I miss you like how the flowers miss the sun. I'm the flower cause you've always seem to make me feel like I'm a flower blooming through love. It'll always be "us" and not "you" and "I" because the flower can't bloom without the sun, and the sun doesn't have one flower to shower in love.
I loved you when I was in the situation of "I'm not going to date for a while", how funny huh?, My relationships never lasted long enough for me to ever say it was 'pure love'. They were all fleeting moments of romance, they were all something that I felt in the moment and not the long run. When we met, I never tried to have a deeper connection with you, but you insisted we talk. You helped me with my schizoid and avoidant tendencies, in fact you've helped me with everything in general — I'm so happy you had the patience for it. I think back on those moments and I don't feel any remorse for letting you in. I'm thankful for everything you've ever done for me. You're like my plushies that i'll always cherish until the end of time, no matter how old I am. You're something that I'll hold onto even in my last breath.
I will always hope that their will be a day where "us" has been longer than "me", you've helped me realize that I don't have to burden myself with all of my burdens alone. That there will be someone who'd help me — and that person would be you. You helped me realize that I shouldn't live a quiet life constantly. I was always fine with a quiet life until your company, You were the sun that helped my withered flower bloom and I'll be eternally grateful for your light. I want to be beside you 24/7, and if I can't then I reminisce on our memories together while holding onto the necklace you gave me or even polaroids of each other. I'll always try my best at everything, I know some of my actions are the bare minimum but you've always appreciated my small gestures more. That doesn't stop me from giving big gestures. I love giving you gifts, spending time with you even if it's one of our nap dates.
We were friends for many years before we dated, you can even say since childhood. You were already intertwined with my everyday life before, but you're more intertwined with my schedule and decisions than ever. Every time I go out I think about your interests and if you'd like this if I boguht you it. When I cook i remember I'm not cooking for myself anymore but also you — seeing you enjoy my food will always make me giggle so hard. Every time something happens to me, I run to you. I always do because I know you'll always be there to listen. You'd always argue that you're the flower and I'm the sun because of my bright nature and social skills. But I've always said you're the sun because you helped me bloomed. You listened when everyone wouldn't, you cared when everyone was tired, you did more than you need to for me. That was all I ever needed. So yes, to me you're the sun and I'm the flower because you helped me bloomed.
You're personality is so cute to me. We're the definition of sunshine x sunshine protector. You're always ready to defend me when someone does something out of line and I absolutely love the way your personality melts when we're alone. I love being smothered by your love in private. I've always liked PDA, you not so much. Of course we'd hold hands, hug, and maybe kiss in public but nothing too much. Which is something I've grown to love about you. You put on a 'cold' exterior but you're the cutest when we're alone. I don't think you'd ever admit it, but your tone is softer when it comes to me. For example, saying sweet nothings to me or correcting me on something. I've never been the best to receiving any criticism, but your tone helps. When you're holding me in your arms and saying the sweetest thing, I feel like I could die happy.
I've noticed your small actions so much. I remember when I told you that I felt lonely and sometimes even have nightmares when you'd fall asleep first — you always stay awake until I fall asleep now. I feel more seen with you than everyone else. I know our relationship isn't perfect and will never be. We'll have arguments and you'll yell and I'll push you away, but we know we love each other. I'll never based off our relationship after an argument, I won't blame you for all of our arguments. Neither of us are perfect and I won't act like I'm so pure and innocent. I've caused our arguments before, I've gotten upset over things that could've been fixed with a little communication. But that's whats make our relationship a relationship. We're teenagers growing with each other, learning the ins and outs of relationship — there is never going to be a villain in our relationship.
I'll always despise people who'll try to speak on our relationship as if they're in this with us. They'll never know the joy I felt when you asked me "can I be your boyfriend?", they'll never know our moments together and how comforting they feel. I've always loved myths and the red string of fate or 红线, specifically. I truly did feel like my red string was connected with you with a bow laced together. I know our time together is limited but I hope I can spend the rest of my time with you. And when we do perish from this world, I promise I'll find you in another lifetime — and I'll do that forever.
The term "true love" was always a little silly to me. How could you always be so sure that someone's love for you is truly true. I know it's contradicting, but I truly believe you're my true love. The amount times I've fallen you were ready to pick me up and defend me with your life. During or before our relationship, you were always there, ready to help me if I fell. You love the parts that I can't even find myself to ever love. Your love for me is truly a sun helping me bloom. You've nurtured my flower that now it blooms brightly cause of you.
I feel like our fallout of course caused us to lose quite a bit of time together, but I'm glad I could see you again. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating, it was on and off. Either way, I'm glad that I chose to face you instead of being continuously avoidant, one of my better decisions. I'm glad that you allowed me to be your girlfriend officially. Our anniversary is coming up, it feels truly exhilarating. I will always consider us childhood sweethearts, because we are; we met when we were kids and now were about to be adults. I could probably argue that we've been together since kids (elementary/middle school), but I won't. We were kids experiencing life, so of course asking out their crush was always a fluke or something like that. I'm glad we're official. I love you dearly
This is a love letter to my best friend, my sun, my benevolent protector, boyfriend, future husband, and my savior. And I'll be the flower that you helped bloom, the one you protect, your girlfriend, your future wife, and your damsel in distress. I'll be by you in this lifetime and many more to come. I love you innocently and purely like how a kid's eyes sparkle when they see a plushie or even how swans love each other. I've never felt doubt about your love for me and my love has never faltered for you. I truly love you and I always will in this lifetime, the next ones, and I'll love you at the end of time. I love you.
Entry 2 — For Lovers
Happy 2 years my dearest. Can you believe it? You proposed to me 2 years ago, how nostalgic. I'm more than happy to be apart of your life, and I hope I'll be here forever. And you'll be here as well, by my side and no one else's. I'm sorry, this is going to be quite short. I'm not sure how I would word my love for you without it sounding sappy and cheesy—which I don't mind, but this is for public view. Everyday I fall more in love with you, of course that's generic, but I really do. I look at you and I wonder how I got with such a perfect boy. I love you so much. Happy 2 years to us, I can't wait for our wedding.
I should start writing public love letters to you again, I'll save the corny ones for private though. Everyday, all I think about is you. You're so perfect that I don't think I'll ever be able to comprehend how you love me. You're my other person and I know no one will be able to match up to you. You're someone so precious to my heart that I might die if you ever leave. Are you my lifeline? I think so.
You've helped me through countless problems in my life—the patient you have is truly out of this world. We sure have a codependent relationship... Sorry. You've stabilized my every worry and problem, even when you had your own. You've given more to me than I've given to you. I truly do mean it when I say fall more and more in love with you everyday. I hold my heart on a sleeve when you're near because I know you'll always be there to protect me.
As more days, weeks, months, and even years passed, you've listend to my every rant and story. Don't you get tired of hearing my voice. I'd hope not, I'd crumble out of sadness! I know I write to you basically everyday and it's barely comprehensible by now, but you read every single letter and write one back to me. You've put so much effort in, and not once have you ever faltered that effort of yours. I really adore you for that.
I'm lovesick because of you. You've made love something to accept with open arms—not to fear. Even if we've had our ups and downs, we made up and we stay together. There was a point in time where we almost broke up, and I'm glad you snapped me out of it. You will forever be my someone, no matter the universe.
