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making a lovemail has always been so hard for me for some reason. i have gone through a lot of urls but not many have been dedicated to solely that because it feels... embarrasing in some capacity. it takes vulnerability to pour out my feelings about a person and it's far worse if it's mostly unreciprocated and i'm like... that person you talk to when you're bored.

regardless, i will make one. thank you to all my friends for being there for me (˶′◡‵˶) — vivi ‎ amaia ‎ liam ‎ jenaya ‎ akira ‎ nicholas ‎ luciel ‎ (pretty much the entirety of hgc) these are people that make me happy.

thank you to my lovely partner, eli, who resides in my heart. frankly, i don't know where i'd be without you.

i'm not of the capability to write a lovely paragraph for everyone because i feel like i'd just sound like a broken record saying the same things for everyone even if i mean all of the words so adamantly. i will say this though... for Everyone in my life.

thank you for still being here. for talking to me, putting up with me — even if it's just acknowledgement. so often have i felt invisible. you make me feel significant, like my existence matters and that i have made a mark on this world, no matter how small. i know i can be difficult, snippish even. i've made mistakes and argued over dumb things. i don't know for certain if we will stay friends throughout the years but i really do hope so and, if not, i hope i remain a positive experience in your life because that is what you are for me. no matter what has or will happen, i'm grateful for the happiness you have brought me. i appreciate you all so immensely. i associate you all with things you love and think of you when i see it and probably will for a long, long time.

you matter to me. i will always care about you and none of that "if you have no supporters i'm dead" because i will STILL care about you wherever i end up after i pass!!!! we've all struggled and grown and the real ones are still here so let's continue to be something better and i'll always be here for you

this is /soulmate so... soulmate time!!!! (๑′ᴗ‵๑)

‎ vivi — (#emotional) someone that i would consider my platonic soulmate and one of my best friends. if you had told me at the very start when i got into rentry that i would form such a meaningful bond through it, i probably wouldn't believe you. if you had told me we'd be best friends after the stupid spats we had, i DEFINITELY wouldn't believe you. when i first joined cnr, i was actually seeking out the carrd part of it because i wanted to learn how to make my own without tutorials. i suppose rentry just snuck up on me & i fell in love with it. i don't regret it at all even after everything (although this site has made me more chronically online.) because i got to meet you. there's been a lot of shit but i'm glad we were able to stay friends no matter what. i hope that we continue to stay friends and grow.

i know i tell you this aalready but i hope you know that i'm always here for you. life can be so awful and people can be so cruel but i will always be there in your corner if you need anything. you're one of the people that continue to drive me to keep going even when things weigh on me because i'd miss you regardless on the afterlife's outcome. you deserve nothing but the best + i hope that you realize that. thank you for being here for me + reaching out to me when it's all too much or i'm just not being the best version of myself. i am so grateful for you. when you think no one would miss you, i would. when you think people would inevitably forget about you, i wouldn't. i couldn't. thank you for being my friend & making me smile ♡ i love u 5ever ^_^ you make my days brighter

things i associate with angel (｀▽´) – angels, puppies, creepypasta, ghost, skillet, the forest, literature, icecream, fnaf, vampires, moe, minecraft, spongebob (i'm patrick ok), horror, animal hospital

eli — gosh... where to begin? my boyfriend!!!! to this day, i don't regret how long it took us to get together even though we both liked eachother (#fellfirst and those feelings never went away.) because i think it was meant to work out that way. it's embarrassing, in a guilty way, how often i thought of you. for some reason, i couldn't stop... and i felt bad because we were friends and then i basically set you up or pushed you into dating sm1 else and all the while i was fuming when it was my own actions!! i just wanted you to be happy but i couldn't help but wonder what it would've been like if i'd just said something. if i let myself take that leap of faith instead of letting myself be dragged along when the person i wanted was right in front of me the whole time. you are nothing short of amazing — beautiful, funny, kind, smart. i am LUCKY ♡

i could be a better boyfriend. i want to be a better boyfriend. say what you'd like but i have so much to improve upon and i'm just... happy you're still here. confused? absolutely. scared? extremely. i mean, sure, we both have our issues but i often feel like you deserve better yet i can't bring myself to let you go because i love you so much and i don't want to be without you. to be without you would have me unhinged, really. i wanna heal so i can support you better and i want you to heal. i want to have a future together and wake up to you and just REFUSE to get out of bed because you're warm. i am always thinking of you even when i am drained because you are my favorite person to be around. i know i am... not easy to deal with. i'm self aware but i still struggle regulating my emotions. i.. appreciate you being patient with me. putting up with my shit, not letting me sabotage even when i desperately try to. i still expect to be too much one day, but i really don't want to ever be. not to you.

i won't lie, i've been scarred enough to be hesitant in romantic soulmates, but... i want this to be my last. i want to end this cycle. i love you so, so much and there is nothing more i desire than making more memories. whatever life throws at us, we can make it through and we'll have each other. there is so much more i wanna say that i cant think because i only slept like 10-20 minutes.... ugh just know. just know i love you and everything about you i love how things are easy with you how i always enjoy my time with you and how we share interests i like learning about things you like and how you pay attention to things i like i love your art and your writing and i love your laugh and your Fat Ass Cat please be mine forever

things i associate them with (#｀ε´# )ゞ – 007n7, c00lkidd, roblox, exploiters/hackers, burgers, limbus company, hong lu, undertale & deltarune, sans aus (mainly ink), sunshine, cats, minecraft, red, demons, the scent of hot chocolate, vanilla, caramel, fire

things i associate us with (´ 3｀) – (pairings if healthy) 77noli, adminvirus, ivandrew, hummerfies (tropes) proximity warmth, skin doodling, red string of fate, love at first sight, puppy love (songs) be quiet and drive (far away), breezeblocks, duvet, creep u, stupid boyfriend, ella baila sola (games) sewh