SL4SH Rewrite Part 2
Those bastards did it again!
They banned me from the official Sonic Fan Forum for the seventh time in a row now and this time it’s permanent! They know how much money I’ve donated to that site, the amount of promotions I’ve helped to sponsor, the multitude of giveaways I’ve helped to host - entirely funded by the overtime I’ve worked as a senior programmer - yet in spite of all that they banned me! It was some stupid crap about how I’m not allowed to constantly argue about how idiotic religion is but so what? If they don’t understand the brainwashing, if these hooligans don’t get how it controls the mind and how it’s abusive to children then maybe they deserve something much worse than God.
Frankly, I'm ready to wage war against these “fans” of Sonic. It’s just this forum that’s really ticked me off, it’s the countless other experiences I’ve had where I’ve been treated with absolute disrespect merely for being against indoctrination and child abuse. I’ve been banned from a plethora of other Sonic “fan” forums. I’ve been blocked and reported on all the various types of social media sites by these “fans,” I’ve even been blacklisted from attending some of these Sonic “fan” conventions due to my “rude” behavior. I’ll show them what rude behavior really looks like.
Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster, I need your help. I pray to you in this time of need to give me the guidance needed to rectify the current situation, to dull out a due punishment to all of those who have wronged me, to all of those who spend all their time on these trivial matters of higher powers, who aren’t convinced by my truths on Sonic media. There needs to be a way to right these wrongs.
And then it hit me: I can be the one to do it. I have the skills, the money, the spite required to teach these people a lesson, and I think I know how exactly to do so.
If one of me is good and morally righteous and has the correct opinions on Sonic and child abuse, then surely wouldn’t another version of me be the answer?
It’d have the exact same opinions as me.
It’d be able to spend its entire life dishing out justice.
It’d be able to teach these ignoramuses a lesson.
So that’s what I’ll do: I’ll make a version of me dedicated to just this one righteous task. It’ll take a while, that I’m confident about. But by the time I’m done it’ll be perfect. And who knows, I might even make it better than me, someone that’s superior to my atheistic perfection.
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And it’s done! Took a bit of time but throughout it all I had my best buddy spite motivating me to finish my mini-me. It took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, but finally, I think I have a proper solution to rid these fake Sonic fans of their delusions regarding religion and Sonic media itself. He will be named “5145H” because that’s what I want to do to these people, I want to slash their skulls open and beat the snot out of them. Also because leetspeak reminds me of the good old days when I would mass post the same message over and over in leetspeak in order to prevent my opponents from arguing with me.
Everything about him is perfect, he has the exact same opinions as me - if anything to a more extreme degree! He isn’t just willing to kill Sonic fans who disagree with him, he’s willing to swat them! I even ended up getting into a fight with him about how extreme his punishments are, that’s how perfect he is! The only thing I have to do now is set him free, and that I’m just about to do.
Fake Sonic fans of the world who love indoctrinating children, meet your opponent!