Team Bucket Brigade and the Quest for the Holy Pail

Episode 1/9: Sky Tower

April 7th

Hahahaha, I gotcha, didn’t I? “Oh no, is the Feebas actually going to go and meet the actual god of the sky??” Well firstly, fuck you for reading my journal. No, I couldn’t give two shits that the waterproof “book” that Ruby somehow managed to produce for me has the word “Diary” emblazoned across its front… This is a JOURNAL. And quit reading it. Seriously, not cool. I don’t have to deal with psychic tards reading my mind, but now everyone with a working set of eyes can see my shit. Well, except that retard calling himself a Leafeon, but that’s beside the point.

Secondly, yeah, I wrote the mega-bait title on the 7th, not the 1st. Why? If any other human-turned pokemon saw I wrote this on the 1st, they’d obviously know it was total bait. And, well, Ruby didn’t tell me we were going on our quest until today, so it’s not like I can go back in time and replace the April 1st entries of “I woke up to find I was dumped in the guild’s pond” and “the bucket was full of dye from berries that turned me a bright pink” so this will have to do. That’s what you get for snooping.

Okay, I’ll admit I’m not complaining too much. I mean, I would like to think I’m a writer with some cache. You know what, swagger, too. Maybe some panache. Je ne sais quoi. Fuck it, even savoir faire. Top it off with X-Factor, as I like to call it in the fish business. Yeah, I’m doing this for attention. I did write a Riolu fanfic after all, so I guess this is my punishment: writing my own Feebas Fanfic. Well whatever, you’re still here and clearly still interested, so I guess while I can’t sleep over the prospect of a (FINALLY!) quest looming over my head, I’ll start today’s little JOURNAL entry with–

Wait, hold that thought… I’m looking back at today’s entry. Why the hell are pokemon using our own months? Like, “July” and “August”? Was there a Pokemon Caesar? Is there a Pokemon Rome??? I mean, I guess the closest thing would be Lively Town as a “world capital” according to what Ruby said, but I’ll quit going off on a tangent.

Whatever. I guess I’ll start today’s entry avoiding my “feelings” and “emotions” like I have done every day since dearest Rubinelle the Flygon gave this journal to me a couple of months ago. (She said it would ”be nice” to learn from me and it would hopefully make me feel better about myself. Somehow?) And since I had nothing better to do and a waterproof journal and a pen full of Octillery ink in this little bucket, what else was I gonna do except use my mouth to write.

Still here after this monologue? Wow, I guess I really am that great a writer. Okay then, here we go, time to talk about the “quest” I learned about just earlier today, the one thing that has somehow filled me with something I haven’t felt since I got plopped down here: a not overwhelmingly negative emotion.

So there I was early today, forced awake from the middle of my sleep because Ruby, looking from above into the bucket, is pouring “pelleds” into the bucket.

It was bad enough that people started to feed me bread like a goddamn duck, but Beast thought it was a great idea to take up a bunch of old berries, dry them, and make them into “pellets” just for yours truly. Saves money but erodes my nonexistent dignity. Oh, did I say nonexistent? I was wrong, since apparently the shiny eevee called them “pelleds” and took even less of my dignity away from me, since Ruby fell in love with the name immediately.

Ruby saw I was awake and let out a “Yipee!” and motioned for me to break through the surface. I obliged her. I mean, what the hell else was I gonna do, right? Just let her pour pellets into the bucket and have me catch them?

Well, I’m a fucking retarded fish for assuming whatever I did would have some dignity. The moment I broke the surface she did a fucking “airplane” that she picked up from former human where she scoops up “pelleds” with some metal spoon, does a little whirl midair with them, and says trying to feed me:
“Okay Shirley, say ‘Yaay, pelleds!’”

Why did I expect today to be any different? I guess I was just half asleep, but you know what? I fucking ate them, airplane style. It was better than plucking it out of the water, and I’d rather be treated like a human baby instead of a goldfish. Regardless, I’d bet I looked like I had brain damage to any onlooker. You know, there's a ton of retard troll face artists here based on all the crap I've seen plastered on the shitty walls. If one of them made me into a meme or something if they saw this like I was some soyjack, I'd definitely end it all.

Man, what I’d do to have some limbs to just walk away. Or even be a fucking noodle to slither somewhere and not just be a literal fish in a bucket. As she was there feeding me, she started to tell me about the “surprise” for today now that the FireFighters are trained.

Holy shit, tangent time. I know I wrote about these asshats in previous entries, but goddamn do I hate these fucks. Uh, if by chance you’re skipping around my journal and only reading this specific entry (“Sky Tower” really did catch your eye, huh?) here’s some backstory and a chance for me to rant yet again:

So, when Team Bucket Brigade was formed, we actually put out fires that popped up, but Ruby started talking about “expanding the fire department.” I told her:
“Hey, Ruby, I’m glad we’re a team and all, but can we change our organization name? Fire department sounds gay, but firefighters hey, now that I can get behind.”

It was the one thing that could possibly restore some dignity to me, so I persisted. We’d go back and forth, and she’d refuse to change the name since Bucket Brigade was “so kawaii!” she’d say paired with a signature wink and peace sign. Fuck me, cute but annoying. Well, finally I managed to wear her down, finally she said:
“Okay, well I can take us to the Capim office of who knows what and get the name changed. Say... tomorrow?"

So the next day I woke up excited as shit since I can be called a coolio firefighter, head to the rooftop station/lookout, and just do patrols. No fires for the day, meaning the drunk fire-types at the Clover Guild managed to somehow contain themselves. But before we could call the day over, a pair of mons walks up to the Guild and said from below where we’re perched next to the Corviknight, Percival:
“Hi, we’d like to join!”

Ruby flew us down and said really cheerily:
“Hi! Welcome to the Clover Guild! What kind of team do you want to be?”

The pair, an Emboar and Infernape, seemed like the sickest pair of badasses around, so of course I surfaced to get a better look at them. I saw them look at Ruby in the eyes with admiration as Infernape said:
“We want to join your department, actually! We’re team FireFighters!”

I almost choked on the air when I broke out laughing, but they were dead serious. Soon enough, Ruby held a “test” for them since she’s gotten complete control of the department (she did technically found it, so fair is fair) and, sure enough, they join and we lose the name change since they already got it, first dibs.

And what’s the biggest kicker? They’re better than us.

So the Emboar who is a bit of a dull pig knows scald and is a deadshot with it. Not only that, apparently hot water puts out fires a bit better than regular water, so there goes my job. And the Infernape? He runs into buildings and rescues Pokemon since he has a natural fire resistance and once that’s all done, he uses vacuum slash to cut off the air supply.

The literal fire type Pokemon were not only better at putting out fires than Ruby and I, but they also stole the one thing I was looking forward to: a change of name. I practically begged them to filet me right then and there.

So Ruby had been training them, and they’d become officially better than us. Great, the one thing I was good at, gone, so I was not in the best of moods, as you can imagine. I never was really all that happy to begin with, but I guess I somehow got worse since Ruby noticed this, and she seemed concerned. Yeah, I guess all that "diary-writing" you insisted on me doing didn't work as well as you thought, huh? I mean... I know Ruby has the best intentions in mind, but seriously. Eh, like I said, nothing better to do.

Anyways, it was then I saw a side of her I never saw before. Really, it was like complete night and day, like if you told me that this was magically shoehorned in at the last minute as a way to deepen Ruby’s personality into an actually complex character by Arceus, I’d believe you.

She’d still be her jolly old self, happily buzzing around, doing somersaults in midair and, of course striking an anime pose. The rest of the Clover Guild ate that up. But sometimes when we’d be alone in our room (and especially when she presumed I’d be asleep, at least at first) she’d journal a lot and be really serious. Considering how much she seemed to think journaling would help my own mental health, I think she's been through some tough shit. Either way, her being serious for a moment was the case this time around.

Right, so back to her announcement. She was feeding me “pelleds” and said:
“Shirley! I have good news for you! A surprise for when Team FireFighters are officially inaugurated!”

Between mouthfuls I was kinda indifferent. I mean, any news was bad news at this point, and I was still miffed they got the name and the one thing I could do. So I just said:
“Uhh, thanks Ruby, but whatever. Not in the mood for your shit right now.”

Look, I can admit I’m a pretty sad fish. And being “airplaned” really brought out the asshole in me that day. But can I be blamed? If you were a fish and forced to live in a bucket, had NO LIMBS, wouldn’t that just suck? So yeah, I shot Ruby down but I don’t think I could be blamed too much.

But damn, seeing Ruby’s normally happy expression disappear and revert to that serious and sad one got to me. And the worst part? She still fed me with an airplane, but just with a massive frown plastered over her face, and I swear even tears forming in her eyes pooling under that ruby-colored eye-glasses thing. But she still tried to be happy and put up a weak smile for me.

Now I felt bad, great. So for Ruby’s sake I tried to eat up some of my pride and said:
“Ugh, sorry Ruby. I just… I don’t really care about life anymore. This shit sucks. I’m stuck here in a bucket, treated like a kid. I have no prospect of evolving since we have to go and do shit and that’s obviously never happening and I-”

Ruby, to my surprise, held up an arm at me and motioned for me to stop. She looked at me and said, her mouth wavering:
“I- I know that, Shirley! I felt a little bad once I realized I was kind of overlooking what you wanted to, since we’re supposed to be a… team (she said “team” weird for some reason? Like, did she not realize we were supposed to be equals or something until now??) and I want you to not have to suffer. So… I did research and I wrote to the Federation. I discovered a quest for us to go on.”

She looked at me to gauge my reaction, her eyes studying me pretty intently. This whole serious shtick (especially for so long) was unlike her, but I was actually surprised she was seemingly willing to change for me. Seemingly. I had to ask her to specify because, with my shit luck, it was probably a (forgive the irony) red herring. Except, it wasn’t:
“Well Shirley, as you know I really don’t like to go into dungeons. But… I’m not totally helpless. What I said was true… a lot of Pokemon died going into dungeons. But they wouldn't rescue me... we’d go in together. I just… I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to force me to go to dungeons.”

Her voice took on a very serious tone when she said:
“Shirley, Rifts are super dangerous. They make reality itself warped.”

I was still so confused. Where was all this coming from? What suddenly changed? So of course I asked her that, and her response was quick:
“Well, I came here because… uh, I was curious about humans! You know, seeing all their stuff I’ve encountered in the Rifts got me interested, and then I met you and we formed a team! It was all so perfect, but I found something for you: the whispers of a Rift item of legendary status.”

Now I was intrigued, so I said:
“What do you mean? ‘Legendary?’”

Ruby quickly flew back to her desk in our room and sorted through a pile of papers written in that language I couldn't understand. Ruby was relieved when she realized that I couldn’t read it, I guess she just likes her privacy? Anyways, she pulled up a paper and read it:
“The Holy Pail: a bucket made of gold and studded with, emeralds, rubies (she looked at me and returned to her happy face and did a loop accompanied by a ‘hey that’s me!’) and sapphires. And, the crown jewel is an embedded Milotic Scale.”

My mouth was agape, and I almost suffocated since I forgot to dive to breathe more water. When I finally did, I asked:
“Wait, so you want to take us on a quest, where we can find some studded bucket, but that can let me evolve?!”

Ruby nodded, apparently back to her happy self once more, and said:
“Yep, that’s right Shirley! It is apparently far far away on the Water Continent (duh, it’s a Holy PAIL) and that’s why I had to wait. I guess we could’ve gone sooner when I first… found out. But, I wanted to make sure the Clover Guild Fire Department continued since we did really good work helping other Pokemon from the Clover Guild’s mistakes! Plus, it didn’t hurt being here and learning more about humans! It was so… kino!”

She struck another pose, this time a dab, and I let out an internal sigh that she picked up on more human terminology. But being gone, too, was surprising. Just how long would this take? How long would be on this quest? I asked her that, too, and she responded:
“That’s the best part: I don’t know! I talked to the Guildmaster, Lliam, and he said we can keep our badges and that we’d always be welcome back! Yipee! Just a Team Bucket Brigade adventure!”

Leaving works for me since the less retards I have to deal with, the better. Ruby was really insistent on my journaling, and while I guess writing out my thoughts like this does sort of help put things into perspective, it takes forever having to write my interactions with others since Ruby insists on accuracy and whatever. But now, just us? Easy peasy, I know Ruby like the back of my hand. Er, um, fin.

Anyways, the rest of the day flew by in a happy flash. Ruby flew me to the ceremony where some Guildies attended (fucking Cyndauqil was already trying to hit on the the FireFighters, what else was new) and that was where Ruby announced our tentatively-indefinite departure. Of course she was buzzing everywhere and giving out hugs, everyone was sad to see her go since she was so beloved. And what about me? The poor fish? No one gave me any attention. Literally only Hans who was plopped in front of me by his Floragato teammate who just told me: “Hey, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Hopefully you get to evolve. Being limbless is tough, but we can maybe learn together someday.”

Wow, and I gave this poor bastard shit for nothing in his control. Well, sorry I had envy for you Hans, you shiny bright-pink motherfucker, but I guess if this journey goes how I hope it will, we can be noodle bros together.

Well, after that whole debacle we returned to our room happy that our fire department duties were going to be looked after quite efficiently by Team FireFighters (though unsurprisingly they insisted on not staying in the Clover Guild and instead living on their own, but whoop there), and we started to pack.

Well, Ruby started to pack. I had literally nothing to my name, but Ruby was more than packed for the two of us. She cleaned the bucket, gathered her belongings and wrote some final letters to who-knows-who and gave it to some Wingull to deliver. At the same time that was when a team of Wingulls popped by and delivered a huge-ass sack. I said:
“Ruby, we’re about to leave. Why the fuck did you get something shipped here?”

Ruby was actually pretty solemn as she slowly opened the package, revealing to me the chest armor of a Haxorus with bands attached to the side and a backpack in the, well, back, the plate inlaid with appeared to be brown fur. Alongside that was two horns of a Haxorus made into armbands or arm-armor or something, I don’t fucking know.

What I do know is that Ruby pulled out of seemingly thing air the most cool looking set of armor I ever saw. I wanted to ask where she even got this, but she remained quiet and somber while looking at it. She then turned to me and must have seen how puzzled I was, so she offered a brief explanation:
“My great grandpappy was a Haxorus, and he had the toughest armor of his day. He asked that when he died it be removed and passed down. My grandma was an explorer and a Flygon, and she made it into armor. Then it was passed down to my pa, who then passed it down to me.”

I responded quickly with a bunch of questions:
“Where did you even get this from? How come I didn’t even know about it? What’s with the fur inside the chestplate-thing?"

Ruby responded rather shyly in turn:
“Well, I had it stored offsite while I was here. I made sure to avoid dungeons when I was coming to the Clover Guild and when I ran into you, so I had no need for it. And like I said, I didn’t want people to think of me as some good explorer to make me, uh, go into dungeons. I just wanted to sit back and observe humans. You know, since they’re so... cool. And the fur, well, I am really vulnerable to the cold so I had them inlaid with t he fur of a Mamoswinse so I could withstand it better. It's pretty comfy too, but it really is just to make sure I can handle ice attacks. I had a… friend, let's say, who suffered a really bad fate with his own weakness.”

As she said all this, she donned the armor. She fixed the Haxorus chestplate to herself, the front of her body shining in the bronze while the back was kept in place by the leather-like bands, with the small backpack sitting low on her the center of her back beneath her wings. She then put on both the armbands, each bright-red Haxorous axe-thing (which seemed to match Ruby’s own red kinda perfectly) jutted outwards from her arms.

It was, honestly, super kino to see. Absolute cinema. Ruby saw me admiring it but she didn’t do a kawaii pose or whatever, just turned away shyly and took it back off after confirming it fit. She put it into the same sack that it was delivered to her in and put it by the door next to her other stuff. Then she looked at me and said, seriously:
“Shirley, if we’re going to do this, we’re going to face Rifts. A lot of them. I am going to need you to do exactly what I say, do you agree?”

I responded a little scared, since I don’t ever remember her being so serious:
“Y-Yeah, Ruby, sure thing.”

She responded:
“Starting with writing down everything you know about Rifts.”

Well, sorry Ruby, but I don’t know shit. But I agreed anyway since when I told her I didn't know anything she just wouldn’t let up until I agreed. Again, really weird that she was so insistent, but I guess with her bad experience with them she wanted to make sure we are as safe as possible.

Afterwards she told me tomorrow we’d be going and taking a Lapras to the Water Continent to begin the Quest for the Holy Pail! I’m finally feeling sleep catch up to me now, but you can imagine how excited I was to be churning the waters of my bucket all night long: this is finally happening. I am going to go on an adventure. Even if Rifts seemed dangerous and Ruby apparently fell into them every Mystery Dungeon she came across, it was the only way I could evolve.

I have to say, I’m definitely not feeling happy. After so long of feeling like a crappy carp, I kinda forgot what it was like to feel positive. But, I am proud to write that I don’t feel as bad as I used to. Alright, today's entry is over, I’m going to sleep by myself. (with the FISHES! LOL!!! Get it?? Sleeping with the fishes but it;s just myself? Ugh, I'm tired, and that lame joke is what you get for reading my Journal. Shirely out.)

-----

April 8th

Eh, nothing really to write about today. Nothing except DISSAPOINTMENT. Well, we flew over to the Lapras Liner here in Capim in the early morning. I can’t believe they just make sailboats now. The worst part? Sea sickness. It fucking SUCKS. Why am I, a literal FISH, getting sea sick? It’s so ridiculous. It’s the first day of a half-week journey to the Water Continent to start our Quest so I have to deal with this ironic mess for that long. Wonderful, my bad for daring to think my luck would change for the better. At least I’m not as sad as I usually am, since I guess the fact we’re on the journey for me to evolve one day.

Oh, we also stopped by Treasure Town on the way there and a couple of Guild members from the Wigglytuff Guild (and some others from nearby towns) hopped on. Ruby told them we were from the Clover Guild and we were scoffed at. Assholes. Whatever, hope you fuckers die. Alongside the guy who decided that Lapras Liners wouldn’t be some cool journey on a nice Lapras like in Super, but now its apparently been supplemented with actual sailboats instead of a cool ride with "Through the Sea of Time" playing. Laaaaame. Shirley out.

-----

April 9th

Wow. Fuck me on yesterday’s entry, I take it all back. I never want to see Lapras again.

Things are getting serious, and now it seems wrong to write so snarkily like I have been, especially if this Rift shit is what we’re going to be facing. I’ll try to write more seriously and get more details in. You know, the whole nine-yards, especially if Ruby insists on it for some reason. She knows more than I gave her credit for.

But god, I get why Ruby tried to avoid Mystery Dungeons because of Rifts. I get why she said she didn’t want to do this.