i like that you add the dates. its nice to see whats new + thats gonna be so goated for reflecting in the future. i love u and how organised u are sometimes.
things innon has done to bring me Kill me
i was tired pleaae leave me alme
please fix your broken images i love you.
thank you. again. i love you hearts and kisses
the fact theres a gap between only one of the lists makes me wanna die.
no gap 
gap 
why arent they even callie why do you do this to me this is going on /fuck floppy dick section
I FIXED IT HOP OFF MY DICK
thank you
⠀⠀
⠀⠀
⠀⠀
things innon has done to Bring me Back to Life
—⠀listens to my shitty ass music every night
—⠀cause me oversights while i worry about things because i always overestimate how much he thinks about anything (thanks for proving me wrong on that, so, so often. 
…what a dipshit, man…)
—⠀was so much more awkward than me playing an emotional questionnaire (it was kind of adorbz to see so i forgive making me worry about making you uncomfortable)
—⠀has a worse sleep schedule than me making it really ez to talk to him super dupes late
—⠀handed his speech mannerisms to me in the form of making me increasingly more jokingly-aggressive with people i speak with (i used to believe telling people to shut up was rude)
—⠀uses his laptop the same way i do by instantly looking things up or checking websites while speaking to people (it's very ez and convienient...)
—⠀proves he does like talking to some extent as he isn't always quiet (rentry or personal stuff is a lot easier to talk about than Whatevwe the hell i am on about most of the time. thanks for putting up with it anyway) (not that i mind him being quiet.
—⠀BOUGHT ME MY LILY SKIN WHEN I COULDN'T AFFORD IT AFTER I WAITEDDD SOO LONG AND REALLU REALLY WAMTED IT. AMD THE ACCESSORY TOO. AGGGHHHH… THANK GOD (INNON)…… 
—⠀is watching my fav movie with me (even though he's totes seen it before)
—⠀demon slayer
— ⠀keeps calling me and watching me do nothing. it's really really nice actually. like crazy nice. i can't believe theres a person that enjoys doing that. i used to legit sit in empty vcs and stream because the idea of someone paying attention to things made them worthwhile; here you are, like, asking me to do that. wow!!! wow. wow. its a lot of fun.
- sometimes i consider how you think i feel about it. i think about how like, i like talking a lot, but then whenever we do this, (unless its mouthwashing or doukyuusei sometimes) i don't really say much. i um? point things out. like when we first saw 'the cake is a lie', i pointed it out, to no response, then continued being quiet. i think most people would consider that awkward
- but its really nice. super nice. u might need to find something better to do
— ⠀talks lots :( like talks. so much more. than you used to. i do not know how i put up with you being so quiet before. well i do. its because i love you dearly. but its Changeddd and you actually talk to me lots dude and it's lovely and peak and i lvoe hearing abt the shit u go on about and like drama you used to be inbolved with even though its hard to remember like fourty names (i make you remember just as many names)
—⠀watches movies with me almost daily
- sat through doukyuusei like three times
- sat through doukyuusei like ? 15? times
- sat through doukyuusei likeee. at least 25 times.
—⠀hi
things innon has done to Kill me
—⠀informed me i am on his rentry chronically online discord account (how did i ever think this guy was cool… 
—⠀probably going to make fun of me for trying to make a list about him (rude)
—⠀ghosts me a thousand times a day (reference: sleep schedule) (reference: logs into different accounts)
—⠀(unknowingly) stopped me from freaking out while watching my fav movie (as i do every time i watch it)
—⠀(very knowingly) made fun of my fav movie (i hope you die by the way)
—⠀is veileviolevilevilevilevil
—⠀
—⠀
(LMFAO YOURE SO FUCKING BAD)
stop being mean.
im sorry. i love you my beautiful amazing internet boyfriend.
innons opinions are what the fuck i hate you. i despise you. why would you do this
this is why i hate rei
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO KILL YOURSELF BROSKI !!! 
i felt mean immediately after saying this. dont kys i love u. 
awhh :3 :3 i won't… :3 :3
thank u can we kis yuet
yeah ... >_<
i dont want to. im mad at u tonight i cant believe you (? no paragraph long response on how much you care about me here? wow ok)
(you would have said "I DON'T CARE. THANKS IG" in response so i am ok)
MAN. i do care. it just.. was not that serious and i didnt mean for it to be. again i love u sm for like actually explaining urself but i am NOT ur boyfriend i do not give 2 shits about my ilys before bed
god forbid a boy like a bit of routine
god does forbid. Faggot (im still on vr i hate this)
THATS SO FUNNY CAN YOU STOP
Hu! Kys. I am on my 2016 amazon kindle fire now
you included the year as if 2016 is old or something
THAT WAS 8 FUCKING YEARS AGO AND ITS A FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING AMAZON KINDLE DUDE THESE SHITS ARE NOT DURABLE
ok yeah i get that. sorry. i am so sorry you need to use an amazon kindle that is very unfortunate. ily
thanks youre so nice im so in love with you
i will actually die
us if you think hard enough
do you even need to think that hard. this is just us period
oct 10. i talk about it like i don't actually mind all too much, about my grades, i mean. but i doooo. of course. or more so they genuinely kill me a bit. a bit. i get stressed and die. i dieee.
i've been sleeping after school every day for around a week now. or two. earlier today i was laying down to sleep in chemistry, as it's my only class with a bit of leisure on that sort of thing, and when i hadn't quite fallen asleep, i heard my friends talking. or. one of my friends speaking with a peer. the peer said "does he ever sleep?" and my friend said "i don't know, in class a lot" and the peer said something like "i can't imagine how many hours outside of school then". and this makes sense i guess. my friend had been helping me with science courses for two years now as i sleep through them pretty often. ("often") because this is the second year in a row. i've been tired. and i don't like talking to my friends or doing things i kind of just eat sometimes and sleep for as long as possible or whatever. but today when i napped i woke up to a friend (you.......) being there and stuff. that was nice. now we're watching doukyuusei for what i'm going to say is the 9th time. i haven't seen it in a while. too long
-- a while = 2 weeks... Umm. solonely dude :( thats embarrassinggggg. why are u weird. u woke up to me breaking down over dominos pizza. that should Not be that goated
it kind of is goated. who the fuck buys dominos on hyperbeam whats wrong w u. i giggled. also i'm not lonely broski i have been actuvely ignoring my friends
which is an awful thing that you should not be doing btw ure so so so sad. i still feel like a mistress. ur friends are ur loving wives and im the beautiful irresistible mistress who seduced you into leaving your entire family behind. because i kind of ammm. awful. im still not over u telling ur friend that u were NOT TALKING TO THEM!!!!!! FOR ME. for me. awfulllllllllllllllllllllll. so fucking bad. also :( i had to pause stars align for it anywayyy. so i figured ide just order it there. plus you were sleeping. i didn't think you'd pop up in the middle of me crying over what bread i wanted be grateful you get to see the sad sad upsetting awful depressing side of me that comes out when i have to pick something. Never ever ever attempt to force me to choose our fucking youtube videos again I will kill myself. took me 30 minutes to pick an anime (only to watch what i wanted to in the first place) + 20 minutes to pick what i wanted from dominos (held back a few tears & didn't even place an order in the end)
oct 14. i like streaming my screen cuz its fun to think my friends would gaf about all the little things they can see. like the difference between umm like sharing the quiz result and seeing someone actually take the quiz. a lot is said in the details that differ between those options i thinkk. hyperbeam is fun cuz of that. it is. i like streaming my games to my friends even when they don't watch. because somehow its nice and fun to think they could be. they coulddd. be watching. when i woke up and u were losing ur shit over a fucking pizza dude like. you couldn't guarentee i's see that. so i can only assume you're the same as me. i mean, i kind of know it, but still. funnnn
oct. 31 happy halloween! i wrote a lot today but none of it is like really right. i wonder why you're an exception to my little rule right now (regarding people liking me). i know that you do and that we are friends, so why am i fine? maybe it's because (quoting my previously written paragraph) you have very little emotional anything invested in me? or it feels that way i think. that makes sense doesn't it
nov. 24 to recreate the aforementioned written on oct. 31: "happy halloween! i think if i hadn't told you directly and spoken about it so much, youd think (as in, come to your own conclusion) recently school has been affecting me. but i dont think you'd get the degree. because as you do know, i have, as i was before, been talking to mostly you. so it'd be harder to see whats wrong you know? well i've been doing (not doing as an action, doing as a state) differently. likeee. i've never been like this before. i'm trying really hard to understand it, to put into words. i think it started a month ago—slightly—when someone (it might have been you) called me reserved or something of that nature. and then i was like "what are you talking about." before having some sort of small realization. and then irl pointed out how i stopped talking about himself to him. and then irl made a vague comical statement about my standards being so low that i—in his words, referring to me—"just like anyone that likes you!". and now i'm here. right now the only people that not irritate and annoy the actual hell out of me are people who i amconfident do not have any emotional ANYTHING invested in me. isn't that odd? i do n't know. how do people deal with being liked in any aspect when they know they're not the best at it? i don't really get it. how can you not feel bad that this person is making a mistake? doesn't that ache? a little? i guess it does for me. speaking of investing my mom invested in some tylenol for me finally. (so the aching is nicer than it was)."
is about where it ended? i think what more i wanted to say is like, there is simply no worry about that sort of thing, like you're owing anyone anything, when they do not rely on you. like, even if you rely on them, a little bit, not enough to where they feel it the way you would—you're not owing anything. i hate owing people things so bad man. i think everyone odes mostly. but you're not supposed to i dont think well. well. you're supposed to not talk about it. unless you're sick or hurt or something. which makes it hard (for me) to be sick. or hurt. because its my chance to not owe anything. but isnt that likeeee. abusive or something. you know. to acknowledge it??? and i have to acknowledge everything :(
dec. 23
whatever
opt 1. first 2 tgcf novels
opt 2. tgcf 1 + svsss 1
opt 3. tgcf 1&2 + svsss 1
pick
did i ever pick hello
no. no u didnt. so far uve only got the first 2 tgcf novels.
dec. 25 its 3:40am for me. you're messaging me about how its foing to ev ? my fault when you kill yoirsef and i'll go to jail. interesting (sorry)
because i hate u and hope u die i'm writing this here instead of your dms.
i am glad we met Amddd it is sort of insane that we met in the summer. because like. its winter already. like december winter?? thats like four five months. which i shppose feels right. nonetheless. i am glad we mer and ur cool and stuff. i don't really know how u put up with me ? i suppose its cuz u think i'm embarrassing and dumb most of the time. which is awesome. jt means i dont need to actually worry ahout it, cuz u'll be honest mostly. whatever im tired. ur getting a longer one on my birthday. see u then, genuine sentimental rant!!!!! merry christmas jnnon (i 'Put Up' with u cus i think ure cool and awesome and amazing. but u do also make me cringe a lot. but thats also cool and awesome and amazing because it makes me giggle instead of wanting to die. cus ure cool and awesome and amazing. merry (late) christmas)
and thank u for tgaa. on steam. i am really fucking excited. about that. thank you
jan. 4 i've been procrastinating writing this; i'm quite bad at writing things about other people if you haven't noticed. todayy. umm. i don't know how corny i can be. i'm embarrassed now Alright well. i jusf want to say i do love u quite a bit and wish you the best always and Hope you're well. always. thanks a Lot forrrr? unironically being one of the best friends ????? i have ever had. umm. i'm not sure exactly how that happened. one may say maybe i like deluded myself into change and it wasn't you at all but i'm pretty confident it was.
i think, a good way to describe it that i found, is you're just really good at being both a surface level talk about anything no expectation casual friiend as well as a genuine listener and someone to care quite a lot about.
i'm still embarrassed. you never have anything to say and i believe that will stay true. but know i—and i never doubted you believing me, nonetheless—really do. appreciate and care about you quite a lot. sorry. sorryyyy. but i do. sorry.
i feel very bad writing that. let me know what i cna do to make up for it Please
jan. 14 (innon's remake of jan. 13) i actusally lied i cant do this this is embarrassing give me a second
* don't forget this.
feb. 21 i'm... tweaking. i'm tweaking bad. i'm defining my definition of love to myself (though not with much effort as i know no conclusion made will hold up or really matter much). more so i'm wondering why i ever dated. i'm wondering because i suppose ? i'm a bit genuinely confused on why i'm not romantically into innon. hi innon.
thats how serious i am abt all the shit im abt to say btw.
rentrh deleted all of it Hi. i'm. not going to say anything anymore. maybe eventually u'll hear it idk. it wasss low key the most genuine (somehow) thing ive ever ever ever ever written abt u. anyway
mar 3.song <— this song reminds me of u Bad. it frels sort of likee the opposite to that one mbv (?) song to me. even though you enjoy that song a lot it feels inherently sort of depressing. orrr at least like um. veryum. dude i cant remember thr word um like crowded? compressed? daunting? but this song reminds me of something else entirely To Do With You, which is likee. ummmz you said you drink out of mason jars. i associate that with my dads old gf named Candace. she was a vegan (isnt anymore) and she was veryyy beautiful and outdoorsy and loved plants and flowers and crafts and hiking and whatnot. um anywayy. she was sort of literally the sun. i also associate this song with hanumanu who is my fucking goat and makes my favourite art in the literal whole wide world. i really. really want physical copies some day holyyy hes so awesome. anyway um. i dont know. i think you like night more than daytime but maybe I’m making that up. iii. dont know that i can pick, personally. but being out on a warm day and theres sun and a nice wind but its not cold and i have money and food and friends umm. i suppose thats what i think of when i think of this somg. so on top of that it reminds me a bit of mbv for some reason which moreover reminds me of you? i hope maybe we get to hangout on a nice day lkke that wouldnt that be sort of goated dude . i want to go out and stuff . i love walking a lot like. a lottt a lot i could walk foreevr um but i also like iust sitting and doing nothing a lot too. i dont think itd be awkward with uou because i think you’d understand and that would be delightful maybe. being able to go places silently unless either Of Us had something to say. like i want to go here or i want to sit. and we Just would. and itd be nice and sunny. and warm. but not too warm. and money dude money id feel like i could actually do stuff. whatever. i like this song.
(its the opposite of the mbv song cuz this somg is daytime and warmwih a nice wind and the other one is a warm night)
mar. 4 6:02am my time 02:02 your time
i havent cried thisbhard in a while i have a headache i love you so much
not in any way that coulf be interpreted as romantic because it doesnt need to include me at all i just hild so much love for you and im so halpy i met you because i? i Got to mert uou dude and now were friends and you Dude i really hope you keep talkingh
mar. 4 6:11am my time 02:11 your time
i have mostly chilled um mostly as in my headache is setting in and it hurts but its perfectly okay umm. this date is going on my wall. shhh dont tell innon but i think today is an important day and um. i am going to. strive a bit more from here on out ajd um also dont tell him that he cannot possibly unferstand the good and change he has brought to me in such a degree its genuinely just unfathomable and also that i love him very fucking dearly
oct. 13 snogvnci mt9a9k7h
oct. 14 s5g4ku8p gctpc3qn
oct. 16 z8uxwsa9
oct. 19 iewq4b98 deia4crf
oct. 26 (why has i t ben so long ou cuz im failign) uis3mzds
oct. 27 7mf55edv (embarrassing)
nov. 4 pzeb65y2 kibbwb26
nov. 13 nndfcuwk
nov. 15 gpbf48yr
nov. 16 oxdoqigk
nov. 19 2co8hc4m
nov. 24 gv5rh8fp c2nge3q2
nov. 27 3m47gkmt
dec. 4 (except you're sleeping) 4e6tzi79
jan. 15 ukx2zwgp
feb. 4 ttwayf99
ok but i was doing it wrong before. um
^ you're so funky for putting ur ec into these. weirdo
what was i supposed to use
so long. such a long time. we've gone like the entire month without doing anything thats so sad
yay!!! we did something!!! yay!!!!
little watch list
howl's moving castle, ponyo, the cat returns, paprika, doukyuusei iiiii iiiii iii, mulan, arrietty 38:53, look back
tgcf, dandadan, haikyuu, demon slayer, the good place
stray, DBH SOON ON GOD