/vtwbg/ Anniversary Pre-Match Lore
/tsunX/ VS /pcg/
It has been many years since Phase Connect had lost the grand Corpo-Liberal war. Hard work and effort had to be mustered to recover from it, but recover they did, and more than just that. Today once more does Phase Connect stand as a proud and powerful nation, declaring themselves the strongest among the small corpo nations. And as testament to their glory, no one dared to oppose this statement, no one but one, for in the shadows of an icy mountain lays a kingdom of the forgotten.
"You want to wear the crown that we once wore? Then prove to us your mettle!"
/hag/ VS /ggg/
It was the 29th of the second month in the year 1132 VTE. Hags and fish pajeet cunnies were locked in combat for quite a while upon the R.A.S. Miomi, but neither side managed to win any advantage. Eventually both groups agreed to a parley and the R.A.S. Miomi anchored on a nearby island.
"Alright you little brats, you better explain why you attacked us."
"Isn't it obvious you old wench, the oceans belong to the shrimps, piss off our water or get pissed on."
"You better watch your mouth you mesugaki or else I will personally give you the spanking of your lifetime."
"HA, bring it grandma, you will get tired before you can even catch us."
"That's it, guess you are in dire need of correction."
Just as the hags were about to get into formation, a ball fell off the deck right in the middle of the two groups. The silver haired Hag in front noticed it and began to smile.
"You know what, if you are so confident about your speed and endurance, why not settle it with a match instead."
/nasfaqg/ VS /nijiEN/
"Gather around little anons, and let me tell you a tale,
of Merchant William and King Pomiticus the Brave,
and the legendary divegrass match that is still talked about to this day!
It was in the lands of Nijisanji where William landed,
his ship broken and torn, the poor man was stranded!
He cursed the storm, and cursed the sea,
William was as mad as a man could be!
Soon to the wreck arrived a mounted knight,
"What are you doing at this time of the night?",
the knight demanded, with his sword drawn,
ready to strike down this trespasser on the Crown's lawn!
Rather than see the knight's sword tested,
William had to let himself be arrested,
and against the King's court he was pitted!
King Pomiticus was rich, and his lands were ample,
but his life was boring and devoid of gamble,
He knew no risk, and felt no thrill,
for the knights would not bet against their king.
So it was William who would bring him joy,
when the cunning merchant offered this ploy:
"Why wont we play a game of ball, O' Great King?",
"Would you let me free, if I win?"
A moment the King pondered, and then with laughter,
delivered to William his fateful answer:
"I'll take your ship, if I win;",
"Gold and cargo, everything!"
And so the match was set,
and the audience gathered,
to witness the merchant's bet,
and whether his luck had faltered!"
/doog/ vs /vrt/
It was a long and arduous journey, but the researchers of the Retro Reich of /vrt/ could not let rumors of some ancient relic deep in the schizo wasteland be untouched. After weeks of searching the snowy wastes, a temple that matched the description of the rumors was found. With newfound vigor, they penetrated deep into the temple, dodging traps ad solving ancient riddles along their way, until finally, they found what they desired. On a pedestal was a shape best described like 4 Ns linked at the edges. Just looking at it filled the hearts of every retro lover to the brim with joy. But then it happened, as soon as they wanted to approach the relic, out from another passage came a different group of people. They were all bald and with giant heads, and just like the Retro Reich people, their glances were filled with joy from the relic.
"Alright, listen here you, this Artifact was found by us first, it belongs to the Retro Reich of /vrt/."
"Ohh we are good Listeners, don't worry, but no, this clearly belongs into a museum in /doog/ and therefore belongs to us."
A moment of silence came to pass and both sites looked at each other anxiously, but then, as if on signal, both sites began a mad dash, ready to claim the relic for themselves.
/hlgg/ vs /HiRyS/
>be me, holy god-emperor of the blessed holoempire, warden of the Yabathoth wastes, guardian of the Ailivian Ocean, Lighthouse of the Kizuna waves, Master of the Heavenly Waters, Guiding Star of the HoloHeartland, Protector of the Indog backwaters, Scourge of the Nijifags, Nemesis of the Vshojwhores, Idol of the indie barbarians, the glorious Pekokokangisius V Tomosoradisios Peko.
>another boring day in the Holy Capital
>a noisy functionary rushes into my court during the day's forty-seventh schizo execution
>"M-my holy and blessed Grace, a delegation from one of our, er, vassals just arrived!"
>I ignore the mortal fly. They tend to leave if I do that for a few minutes
>the functionary falls on his knees and smashes his forehead on the marble tiling
>as his blood spreads on the rosy stone, he speaks again
>"My G-grace! Please forgive my interruption of the court's, er, work. But the delegation landed in the capital's downtown plaza. It's the nephilim. T-they mentioned something about "Management's crimes", and err, have taken the lives of some citizens. They're uh, also asking for the God-Emperor's head."
>As the god emperor of the greatest empire in the known and unknown world, I am an intelligent man, able to understand the subtlest wit
>It is well known that all balls in the empire are required to feature the countenance of the God-Emperor
>Clearly, the angel-demons are talking about kicking about a sack with a painting of my face; a favorite activity of the peasants, as I recall. A metonymy! Such silver-tongued folk.
>I stand from my gilded throne and scream my revelation "Ah! The barbarians want a game of divegrass, it would seem! Assemble the imperial team and bring the imperial ball to the plaza, we'll not make the delegation wait overly!"
>The functionary is stunned by my intellect, and reacts after a few seconds of processing
>"Ah, y-yes your Grace! At once!"
>I nod approvingly as I stride out of the court. "Excellent, finally something exciting. Let the games, begin!"
/nijiJP/ VS / /#/
An expedition from /2434/ is sent to find a Lost City of Gold. In their adventures, they stumble across /#/, who attacks them outright. Undeterred, a landing party is arranged and they reach the capital of /#/ where a column of armed men and a man with a Pointy Hat with # on it approaches them:
"Why we were attacked upon entering your waters and where in the world is the City of Gold"
"You were attacked for having low CCV for your company, nijinigger. You shouldn't be in our lands unless you have large numbers, i would not worry about getting any gold soon, for your life ends here!"
"Alright you arrogant prick, you will see what the value of true content is! There is only one way to settle this!"
/vtwbg/ vs /ybc/
On boxed boats they came,
smashing through the water –
their speeds in defiance of
their crafts' strange shape.
They pulled up to our shores,
seeking an audience with the
council that ruled these lands
and were brought before us.
Eager to know what brought
these sailors so far from home
and into our people's domain,
a small, rotund man stood from
his seat at the main podium,
bidding the visitors to speak.
"We have come in search of the
worldbuilders said to reside
in this place, and yet we must
be mistaken. For there are no
great works to be seen here.
No sophisticated railways, no
giant monuments, no heavens-
defying architecture. You have
nothing worthy of our time."
Silence fell as the words of
these newcomers settled in.
Looks were shared among the
delegates until a Sapling with
a nuetral expression spoke up:
"You say our works are nothing
but you mistake your crafts as
all there is. Look upon these:
countless documents describing
the natural laws of this world
and their functions. Monuments
built on shaky foundations are
doomed to collapse in the end.
One cannot build on this world
without first understanding it
and knowing its rules. We have
no need for rails and statues.
We need only to learn what the
planet can do. Then we build."
More heated words were quickly
flung back and forth, and it
soon became clear that there
was no settling this clash of
ideology through debate alone.
Both sides stormed out of the
building, ball in hand as they
strode to the field, ready to
decide this once and for all.
On a distant hill overlooking
the scene, a grizzled man clad
in golden armor stirs as a new
battle begins. Walking down to
the field he grins. It's time.