Santa's Workshop

Audio Diary Log #150 I've always hated going outside with the family. Didn't like doing it when I was a kid and I despise doing it as an adult. It's not my family's fault, I mostly love them all dearly. But God...we've got no need to be going outside and doing some stupid "bonding exercise" when we can easily do that in our own home. Like come on, it's bad enough that we're forced by my parents to do this every Sunday because of some stupid tradition they've been apart of since the 80s but they know what happened to my sister. They've got no one else to blame about what happened to her but themselves. Sorry...getting sidetracked again. Still not the best at recording these things even after so long. It's sort of been helpful with...getting over it I guess. I still forget that she isn't laying on her bed watching something on her phone at times but I'm getting out more. Would just rather go out in my own time rather than be forced to do it with family. Shit, getting sidetracked again. Gotta focus, here's what's going on today. It's Sunday and we're all going to the Shopping Mall today. There's some sort of special event going on at the Mall with some meet up with Santa. Classic mall bullshit that Mom and Dad are way too eager to take me to. Whether or not that "any one thing you desire" thing is true, it's not going to be a fun time. Standing in line is going to be awful but I can't say no to them. Literally can't, they won't let me alone in the house. Ever since that-...Sorry, sidetracked again. I'll record another Diary Log thing when I can, see you on the other side.

Audio Diary Log #151 Holy shit. So I may have been wrong when I said this Workshop thing was just going to be some classic mall bullshit, they must've had an extreme budget when they were making this. Currently in the men's toilets so if you hear any background noise, just ignore it. But anyways they've made a serious effort with this thing. As soon as we got into the mall the place was just...loaded with all kinds of Christmas stuff. Not the usual stuff where they throw some oversized boxes that look like presents and a big $30 tree in the middle, no they put effort into this. Every inch of this place was completely redecorated into looking all festive. The floors are painted to look like wooden floorboards, the skylights are covered so that natural lights from some suspended candles are the way to see things and you can't walk 10 steps in front of you without seeing a conveyor belt. They were covered with some glass so that no one could play on them nor could anyone grab the stuff that was on them: all sorts of presents and things people would want to get this Christmas. The stores that are here seem to be closed though, aside from the Food Court. Wish we'd gotten KFC instead of McDonalds though, the Christmas menu they got at McDonalds is pretty shit. Anyways, there's this whole line going around the place that led to this big house that's been built around the mall. Like no joke, an entire section of the mall has been boarded up with these wooden walls that go all the way up the ceiling. This isn't some small place too, it's about three floors high. There's a single door right on the first floor where everyone is going through, there doesn't seem to be anywhere else to get in there...to a newcomer that is. I still remember an employee's only shortcut I used to take whenever I got in trouble that got me from one place to another like David Blaine doing a trick. If I remember right it's past a unlocked door in the women's toilets and straight forward until a left needs to be taken and then I'll be on the other side. Probably guessed by now that's the real reason I'm in the toilets. Sorry Mom and Dad, old habits die hard I guess. I'll record another log when the coast is clear and I got time to record, see you on the other side.

Audio Diary Log #152 Can't talk much here but this place seems a lot...bigger than I remember. Right now I've gotten myself into a storage room that's been transformed into a mini locker room for the elves here. All kinds of boxes in here with all of their costumes in one box and tools in the other. It's as well decorated as the rest of the mall too which doesn't make much sense, I doubt anyone is going to go in here for the grand tour of Santa's Workshop. That's what I've take note of while I've been in here, there's been an excessive amount of effort placed into making this place look like something out of some Christmas film. There's way too many elves sitting on too many benches wrapping up the presents and sending them out to the office of where Santa is. I mean seriously, they all range from being small to large and there isn't enough people in this small city that would be willing to sit here and wrap presents for a month straight, no matter the pay. And as I said earlier, this place is bigger than how it usually is. It's too wide, too long and too high as I remember. I had to walk as twice as long as the mall usually is before I was able to find this locker room. And when I looked up to the ceiling, I saw nothing but darkness. If there were any lights up there, they were too dim to be seen anyone so it was just...black. Elaine would've loved to have seen this in person...oh Elaine...I still don't get it. I don't know how you suddenly fell into the lake from the boat we were all on. All I can remember was a loud bump and you suddenly dropped. You were dead weight, you fell straight to the bottom. No one could swim down to get you, Dad tried but he ended up nearly drowning himself. Still recovering from the hypoxic brain damage he got that day. You weren't so lucky. I wish you were here to see this...but that can't happen now. Sorry. Sidetracked again, like usual. Going to try and find Santa's office and hide out somewhere nearby it, then I'll record another audio log. See you on the other side.

Audio Diary Log #153 Okay, so I'm hiding out in one of the boxes just right by Santa's office. Had to throw out some...I think they were hammers? Had to throw them out by the side to get in here. My feet hurt like hell, been walking for what might've been an hour. Mom and Dad have been texting me saying the rest of the family have been looking all over the mall and are starting to get worried. I called them back because I didn't want them to have a panic attack but I had to lie saying that I went out of the place to get some fresh air and that I was going to get a snack from a convenience store. Got a bit of an earful from them about that but it was better than saying I snuck into Santa's Workshop and have been sneaking my way in to see him. Speaking of Santa, he looked rather different than from what he tends to look like in...well anything else. His beard was grey instead of white and his clothes were pretty dirty. Looked thinner than usual too, still pretty fat but it was more chubby than obese. Couldn't get a good look at his face since the window to his office was a bit hazy to offer some privacy to the people inside. But from what else I can tell, the room seemed to go on and on for...well forever. Most of the room is taken up by this giant red sack that spills out onto the floor where the presents come out. When the next kid comes out, I'll get myself inside and pretend I was next in line. See you on the other side.

Audio Diary Log #160 I really don't want to think about what happened that day. Every time my parents or my therapist tries to ask me about it I always start to have a panic attack when I start it off. I can't talk to them directly about it but...maybe this way I can tell them. I tried my best to ignore this with my previous logs but I've been doing them less and less frequently because whenever I try to record one I usually slip into talking about it and I delete the attempt. But no more. For the sake of my parents who need to know, I'll talk about what happened. It came after I recorded the 153rd log and after a kid walked out of the office. I gave it about a minute before I got in myself and met Santa. He greeted me with a laugh and a simple hello. A simple hello that came with my name. Chalked that up to me being known at the mall, thought I was going to get kicked out at that point. But then he asked me to sit on his lap and ask him what I wanted for Christmas. In a state of...surprise I guess, I did what he said and sat on his lap. He poked me on the nose like I was some teddy bear and asked me again what I wanted. I didn't really know what to say so I just stammered and asked for money. He laughed again and just asked me what I really wanted. I gave it some proper thinking as I looked at the big red sack next to us and I told him that I wanted to have something to remember my sister by. We shared a lot of our stuff back then so I didn't have much to remember her by except for some photographs. He poked at my nose again and giggled before letting me off of his lap and getting to the sack.

He started pulling out a bunch of different presents, all in different shapes and sizes. He brought out a big box, a long and thin box, a large and long box and another long and thin box. He kept bringing them out for me to see and laid them out onto the floor. He then got to the door and shouted for some elves to come and help him unbox the presents. I was so excited to see this, having all of these presents brought out for me and me alone. They all started marching in and held onto the boxes, ready to unpack them. Santa took me aside and held a hand on my shoulder as he turned me away from the elves. His way of setting up the surprise. As I heard them take off the bows and rip off the packing, Santa started to talk to me. Talked to me about Elaine. About how I forgot some details of what happened when she drowned. Like the one detail that I was jealous of how much she enjoyed the trips out and how much attention she was getting from the family. And the part where we had gotten into a fight the day before the park and I told her I hated her guts. And the part where...where...oh God...where I waited until we were riding on the boat when I decided to knock her out with a baseball I got on the boat. Santa told me that I killed her. And he was right. And when he turned me around to see the unboxed presents I nearly fainted. In each in and every one of them was a part of her body. Her fresh and waterlogged body. Her skin was a pale blue, her flesh dried up to the point where it looked like the skin was just draped over the bone. The bottom of boxes was just covered in sloppy green muscle, dripping out from where the body part was cut off. Her dismembered pieces were otherwise undisturbed. It was like Santa had just gotten her from when she was buried. Her face...it was wrapped in fear. And pain. She was in so much pain when she died. I know that now. He grabbed me by the shoulders again and asked me to pick up one box to bring back home. It was what I desired after all he said. He was staring at me with those eyes...those sunken black doll eyes. He was grinning at me too, his teeth was thin. Not sharp thin, flattened thin. His mouth was starting to stretch and dislodge open when I finally passed out. When I woke up I was in the hospital. Parents said they found me having a seizure outside of the men's bathroom and I was taken to ER. Said I was out for a few hours.

It's been about a month since that happened and time and time again my family and therapist have told me it was just some stupid coma dream. A part of my imagination that went into overdrive when I got sick. But I know it happened, for two reasons. One, my feet and legs were still sore from walking. And two...I've always had this present from Santa in my pocket. It's a pretty small one, about as big as my hand. I never opened until now. Didn't want to see what I had done to her. But now, I'm too tired to just ignore it anymore. Is why I'm making this log now. Because I opened it. It was my sister's right hand. She was holding a drawing she made of all of the family together before she fell in. Now the drawing is nothing more than some ruined piece of paper. I threw it away in the trash, I don't want you guys seeing something like that. And I just want you to know that this isn't your fault. It's all mine. I'm sorry Elaine. I'll see you on the other side.