Its a strong word that; Hate. So often misused in modern discourse that it dilutes its true power and meaning.
Perhaps you are a victim to this overuse too? "She hates me" is all you can repeat in your mind since your last lovers tiff, neither of you had apologised yet.
Was it because you both used that word? That common vernacular you both offhandedly use, yet when things were serious it reared its true meaning.
The unopened bottle of Sauvignon Blanc you had bought for a special meal you had planned to make for the both of you beckoned as you stared listlessly into the fridge.
You could drink that within the hour. Just like the old times, before Kronii came into your life. The anguish compelled you to open it and drink, to wash away the pain in numbness and regret, the medicine to your ailment.
The bottle felt cool, the divine liquid within could help you bury the pain, to bring you back to the days of self-medicative care.
The bad days.
The Pre-Kronii era.
The days of incessant self-hate.
"Anon?..."
Kronii stood in the doorway to the kitchen wearing just a dressing gown, the front held together by a shakey little hand. She saw the reflection of the ornate heraldry on the glass, the way you clutched the bottle to your chest, your languished expression of hopelessness
"Anon, don't drink it" she cautiously stepped forwards towards you, her bare feet slowly progressing along on the cold floor. Kronii gripped the the neck of the bottle, strangling it like it was a demon trying to possess you. Perhaps it was.
Your firm grip relinquished as you looked into her eyes, little pools forming on the corners.
"You said you hate me... it hurt..." you manage to stammer out as Kronii placed the wine back in the fridge and sealed the door.
"I hate myself, Kronii, you hate me, what can I even do anymore-"
She takes your hands in hers and presses up against you, letting her gown undo itself. The air around you felt heavy, you felt awful for burdening her with your miserable existence.
"I hate myself too, Anon" a single tear rolled down her pale cheek "I didn't mean it when I said I hate you, I-it just slipped out. It was the only word I could think of because its the only one on my mind when I think about myself..."
You pull her into an embrace, a light kiss on her forehead. The absolute state of the two of you self-loathing depressives. It was in shared moments like these that you both knew, you were destined for each other.
Kronii pulls back from your comfort and looks deadly serious into your eyes.
"But please, don't drink when you are down. I will actually hate you if you do"
she smirks slightly at the last part and taking your hand, encourages you to come to bed with her. That final threat was certainly sobering enough to question ever drinking again...