/k/ommando Wifwolf

Lmao look at her smug fucking face in the first one.

"Yeah? You're gonna shoot me with a silver bullet, huh? What is that, a .22? That little pop-gun won't even break skin. You really skimped out on your hunting gear, human. I'm insulted. Couldn't afford silver in a larger caliber?"

Raise gun at her
Pull trigger
It doesn't move all the way back
What the-
You left the safety on you dummy!
You quickly flick it off and take aim at her again
You pull the trigger, the hammer falls, and...nothing
She grows just a little more smug
Must be a bad primer, you rack the slide back and the round ejects
But when it comes back it misfeeds
You must have ridden the slide, you idiot
Looking up she's even more smug
You frantically try to get the slide back and clear the jam only for you to accidentally hit the magazine release and it falls to the ground
The wolf puts a hand to her mouth and chortles
Your pride already in pieces you kneel and try to find the magazine only to find it's been lost in the grass
Pocket spaghetti status: spilled
You frantically search for the grass only for your fingers to eventually touch a clawed toe
Slowly your gaze rises and there she is, looking down at you, smug levels turned up to eleven
"Silly human, do you need some help with your little toy there?" She says, her voice dripping with condescension
You look back at the grass unable to look in her in the eye in your defeated state
A single tears falls from your eye
"Y-yes."

You can hear the wolfess lean down, her open paw appearing in your vision
Getting the hint, you place your jammed pistol in her hand and she brings it up to her head
With practiced finesse she pulls the slide back and jiggles out the jammed cartridges, the shiny metal tumbling onto the soft grass in front of you
"Hmm, a double feed on an M9, I'll chalk it up to user error. Don't you agree?"
You softly shake your head in an affirmative
"Good, good." She coos. "Now, can you tell me what this says? On the frame there?"
She brings the pistol in front of you, a claw pointing to a small line of text inscribed onto the frame
You read it out loud
"Read manual before use."
She leans in closer, her warm breath washing over your forehead
"And did you do that?" From her tone she already knows the answer
You look back down at the grass
"N-no. I bought it yesterday."
She taps you on the head with the butt of the pistol
"Ow!"
"And why doesn't this surprise me?! A dumb little humie goes outside with a peashooter he doesn't even know how to use, tries AND FAILS to shoot an innocent werewolf with said peashooter, and now here I am standing in front of a sniffling brat who can't keep his spaghetti in his pants! Is this thing even loaded with silver bullets?"
She bends down and retrieves one of the bullets, giving it a quick inspection before tossing it back on the ground
"They aren't even silver! Just bargain bin FMJ, what were you thinking?!"
"It was getting dark out, you spooked me, I thought you were going to kill me." You meekly answer
She puts her hands on her hips, an aggravated expression on her face
"Well if I wanted to do that we wouldn't be talking right now, would we?"
"No..."
"God you're pathetic. Get up here."
She grabs your shoulders and hoists you up to a standing position, even standing she has a solid foot of height on you

She reaches behind her back and retrieves a hefty looking pistol
It's a 1911, blued frame, wooden grips, signs of wear indicating it had seen its fair share of use
"Now this," She raises an eyebrow. "is a real weapon, none of that nine millimeter popgun nonsense. Holds seven rounds since that's all you're going to need. Won two world wars and will win the third when it hits. Made of steel and wood, an aesthetic yet functional combination. And do you know what caliber it fires?"
"Forty five?"
She pats you on the head condescendingly
"At least you aren't a total idiot. It fires forty five manstopper, I would get a forty six if they made it. I keep silver tipped sounds in mine, just in case any of my fellow lycans decide to get a little too frisky around mating season. Now it's time for bonus points, do you know why I would trust my life to a forty five rather than any other caliber?"
You scratch the back of your head
"It...uhhh...fires a big bullet?"
She shakes her head
"Aww, no bonus points for you. It's because while almost any caliber can kill the man, only a forty five can kill his soul as well. Don't even need any special kind of bullet to do it either." She reveals with a wicked grin
You put your hands up in surrender
"Okay-okay! I get it! Your gun is better than mine, can I please go now?"
The werewolf raises your pistol and tosses it over to you
You...miss her toss, quickly leaning down to retrieve it
She puts a claw to her chin

"Well, given that you have no weapon useful for the kinds of beasts you'll find out here, and that you came out here all alone." She steps beside you and wraps a heavy furry arm across your shoulder. "I think it would be in your best interest to have someone escort you back home. Don't you agree?"
You have a feeling you don't have much choice in the matter, not to mention that she's right
"Ya, I agree. I could really use some protection."
A toothy smile comes across her muzzle
"Good. Now take this..." She leans down retrieving the magazine you lost and gives it to you. "...and don't even think of putting it in the gun until you've..."
She trails off, expecting you to finish her sentence
"Until I've read the manual." You reply
"Good, now lead the way! I doubt we'll encounter much danger out here, but you never know..."