It's like looking at himself, Anya always thought when he looked at his brothers, a reflection of who he is and what he could've been.

He supposed sometimes it's like this when you're born as twins, let alone quarduplets. All his life, they have always been the four of them. He's so used to look around him and have them all; Omonji's lead, Tensei's reassurance, Kyuuto's smile. He had always thought they would always be there with him.

And it's only now that both Omonji and Kyuuto had left the dojo, he'd realize how big this place was.

"You've been staring empty the whole day." A cold canned drink greeted him on the cheek.

"Hey--" Anya shivered and shoved it back to Tensei. "That's cold!"

Tensei laughed a little at his reaction, and then took a seat next to him. "You're gonna scare away whatever new enrolls we're getting, you know."

A scoff. "Consider that their entrance exam, then."

Tensei's assurance, huh. Anya pondered. The change in their family was sudden, but at least he's not going through this alone. Both Omonji and Kyuuto had chosen to leave for their family's sake, and Anya really thought them admirable for that. After all, he couldn't have imagined another path for himself other than the one carved for him. He didn't really make any decision as much as they fell onto him.

But Tensei, he realized, chose to stay.

Why?

"One round?"

"Sure, let's go."

They've often sparred in the free time since their brothers left. Anya liked getting physical, it took his mind off things he didn't like thinking about. Tensei liked training, it got him into a routine and he loved familiarity. It was convenient enough for both of them. Their rule was simple, whoever struck the other person on the flesh first would win.

They had never kept count, but Tensei guessed he had probably won around ten percent of their spars. And maybe even then Anya was holding back, who knew. Uncertainty, he thought, was what made Anya who he is. Maybe one day he'll figure out.

Tensei took a deep breath as they both stood into position. Funny, people would've thought Anya's the stronger one considering that he inherited their dojo, but Tensei knew Anya actually relied more on his speed and counter to make a work of his opponent. If strength were the only measurement, Tensei would almost be confident that he'd win. He knew from experience, after all.

And today that he had seen how much Anya was zoning out, Tensei struck first.

Anya was visibly surprised but his reflexes were quick enough to parry. Tensei had expected that, however, and returned with a succession of heavy blows-- two, three, and he counted four when Anya's wooden sword was sent flying. However, what Tensei didn't expect was Anya's own palm quickly shoving against his arm, turning his momentum over. Losing his footing, Tensei grabbed the closest thing within his reach --Anya's collar, and they both fell down onto the flooring unceremoniously.

Tensei groaned at how loud his back hit the mat. When he opened his eyes, Anya was on top of him, looking disheveled but smug as if he'd win by reflexes this time round.

It's like looking at himself, Tensei thought, a reflection of everything he wanted.

"Not so fast--" he quipped as he pulled Anya down and locked their legs to switch their position around. Anya tried to fight back, but Tensei, still gripping onto his sword, made a quick move for the skin of Anya's neck.

He'd decided to win today.