Most of the memories I still have from those days are foggy, as if doused in a thin, yet impenetrable mist. Perhaps it’s a coping mechanism I developed. Some say the brain forgets most of your useless memories, and that’s how I know it’s a cope. There’s no way I would ever forget any of that.

He scribbled something on a piece of paper. I looked at him for a second. The sound of graphite had snapped me out of my monologue and turned my attention to the woman in the desk.

“Oh, sorry, keep going.”

I took a deep breath, and resumed my narration.

~*~

“Happy birthday auntie! I don’t have money to give you a gift but I will study hard and get the first place in my class for you. You’re the prettiest woman and also the goodest.” -Anon

Her heartbeat became erratic as she read and reread the little letter given to her by her nephew, and endearing sense of love washed over her gently, like a slow, calming tide. In her evening clothes, Fubuki searched for Anon amongst the children in the backyard. She found him playing police and thieves with some of her friend’s kids and gently beckoned him to come closer, clutching his letter in her hand. Fubuki gave Anon a deep hug in full view of everyone, squeezing his face onto her chest unconsciously as little Anon tried to hug his aunt back while his face was pressed with increasing force into his aunt’s chest. As sneaky as he was, Anon sneaked a glance inside her shirt, watching and memorizing every detail of his aunt’s cleavage. Fubuki’s gesture caught the attention of Anon’s parents, his mother looking at the scene with a certain feeling of unease.

“Have you noticed how Anon behaves around Fubuki?” Commented Anon’s mother.

“Yeah.” Replied Anon’s dad.

“I guess he has a crush on his aunt.” She added, trying to catch her husband’s attention.

“Yup” Said Anon’s dad, absent mindedly as he watched TV.

“Well, better that it’s now rather than when he grows up.” She said, mad at her husband’s indifference.

“I guess.”

Fubuki came back inside hiding the letter from view and sat in the living room with the others, sneaking little glances at Anon.

~*~

That night as Fubuki was getting ready to get into bed, her husband saw the letter Anon wrote for her.

“I don’t have money, but I will study hard.” He read it aloud as he giggled. “That little rascal…”

“Heeey, that’s my gift, thank you.” Said Fubuki smugly as she took the note off his hand trying to not tear the paper apart and put it on her nightstand’s drawer.

Her husband looked at his wife endearingly, before turning to a serious face.

“I know that boy’s special to you, Fubuki.” He said as he took off his shirt. “But your deal isn’t healthy.”

“Oh god, are we gonna have this conversation again?”

“Shirakami.” He continued. “Anon’s mom feels like you’re stealing the boy away from her”

“She doesn’t take care for him!” Fubuki said almost as a reflex. “I taught him how to walk, how to read, I was the one who spent time playing with him because your sister thinks her job is more important than her son!”

“That’s not the deal with her, and you know it.” He replied, managing his tone as best he could. “Please, I know you always wanted a kid of your own but-“

“Stop.” Fubuki cut him off as she felt sick, as if her stomach was about to bring out everything that came in during the party. “Don’t go there, please.”

“I’m sorry.” Replied her husband, guilty knowing he was about to go too far.

“He’ll grow out of it. I know.” Fubuki said, with a shriveling voice of defeat. “I just wanted to feel… you know…”

“Shirakami…” Her husband came from behind and hugged her, his wife began sobbing in his arms as she turned around and dug herself into his shoulders.

“Come to bed, honey.”

“Okay.”

~*~

Shirakami Fubuki didn’t have any children. She told her husband she was diagnosed as infertile at a young age. He wasn’t fazed by the information, believing he could end her infertility with enough luck. Every night for years, he kept trying to impregnate his wife until he gave up.

As much as Fubuki wished to be a mother, she kept telling herself it was for the best if she didn’t, the reason being a secret she kept hidden from the world, hidden and locked away with multiple locks, something she couldn’t tell anyone.

“Ahh, ahhh~!” Said Fubuki as she rubbed her pink pearl reading Anon’s letter. Her eyes lingered in the words “The prettiest” and “the goodest”. She kept recalling memories from her time with you, especially the ones where she would get to indulge in her desires for forbidden fruit.

The memories of giving you a bath or helping you change to enter a pool, running her hands over your tiny body as an excuse to touch you in your “funny zone” gave her all the necessary fuel for her to get lost in her fantasies, now using your letter as an aphrodisiac.

Her legs shook and vibrated as she squirmed in bed. Falling back, she looked to the side and was greeted by her reflection. The very same woman as always, but this time she was smiling, and Fubuki smiled back.

“I guess it can’t be helped, right?”

Years ago she met her husband and got married a few years after, promising herself to live a normal life, before she knew it, she was the auntie of a beautiful boy named Anon, she kept trying to get out of the situations that would put you under her care, fearing both for you and herself, but she slowly gave in to her own desires.

“I can take care of Anon, if you want.” Said Fubuki to your mother, much to her surprise, and thus began developing a relationship with you, that later on became akin to a bond between a mother and a son. Fubuki never missed your birthday and brought you plenty of toys alongside a lovely kiss in your cheek, she would take days off to take care of you, in which she’d cook your favorite meals and watch movies with you. You kept asking her to play Shrek two because she always seemed to laugh at certain jokes you didn’t quite get, but her laugh was contagious, and you liked it.

None knew that with the passing years, inside of her head, Fubuki began fermenting thoughts that would forever change you.