Alternate terms to describe the male genitalia for the purposes of creative writing: manhood, shaft, turgid length, member, throbbing rod, pulsating pillar, phallus, sheath, tool of war, rod of iron, banger, mast, timber, shank, gonads, cockscomb, sword, prick, dick, spear, penis, cock, hammer, spear, stiff, flag, jutting bone, pecker, spade, pecker, schlong, plumbago, pecker, dagger, banana, boner, erection, boner-wood, man meat, weapon of war, boner, meat stick, love muscle, prick, monster dick, dong, cock, long pole, schlong, spike, rod, spear, missile unit, bone club, dagger, lance, club, wand, sickle, stud, soldier's friend, steely, cannon, battering ram, pry bar, maul, chisel, blade, arrow-shaped, steel torpedo, battle cane, lightning bolt, thyrsus, penis, thickie, tree trunk, sausage, big knob, hard on, boner point, glans or head, scrotum sack, handlebar, shaft with a fat bulb at one end (also known as a horse) and a small part attached at the other (a bull), pony knobbed at both ends, twat, cunt, asshole, bottom, base of spine, root of all evil, nose, muzzle, snout, stump, gun barrel, staff, pronged tube, appendage, gomphosis, hickory, flange, helmet's peak or tower-point, crook, crotch, groin, gullet, gopher hole, caddy hole, snake hole, beaver dam, sump hole, sucker's pipe, siphon, orifice, socket, eyehole, portcullis, grommet, fanny pack, harness, saddlebag, bag of holding, quiver, handle, grip, grip of a door knob, handrail, grab rail, fingerhold, teakettle spout, plunger, butt plug, buttplugger, baster, spatula, dough hook, tongue depressor, nubbin, knob, bump, bulge, corkscrew, spur, spikey, knob-knob, mushroom cap, cap, hooded foreskin, velveteen burr, plumy knot, plumule, bulbous protuberance, bawl horn, bellow, trumpetspear, trumpethead, nadir, axis, prow, sternpost, keel, bole, handle, oarship, whaler's backbone, booby trap, peltit, peony, pistil, yoke, man parts, penis, genitals, pelvis, nutsack, ballsac, tincture bottle, inkwell, tubby, tuck up, nipper, pork chop, knuckle joint, squab, turkey wing, drumstick, mallet, pommel, fist club, double ended axe, knife handle, hatchet handle, pick handle, baseball bat, ping pong paddle, racket, hockey stick, broomhandle, washboard, pool cue, billiard ball, rubber hose nozzle, fireman's pole, policeman's nightstick, plumber's wrenches, water meter, yardstick, ruler, caduceus, zebu, kimono tie, tail (of crocodile, lion, etc.), spatha, scapulimancy, mantic casting (for divination by means of interpreting certain forms cast in urine,)