To Put Flight on my Muse's Wings.

~*~

"She walked down the alleyway, sneaking glances over her shoulders, trying to discern among the streetlights and the passerby her suspected stalker. Fear ran through her veins, and it turned her step into a throttle. Was it her imagination? Perhaps a little misconception?"

A little misconception.

Nope, doesn’t work. Throw it out. Try again.

"The memories of Tokyo had a bittersweet taste. The aroma of youth permeates their air, of Takashi wearing a younger man’s clothes and drinking as if his liver would remain in pristine condition-"

No, doesn’t work. Maybe try that other bit you had…

"Her name came unannounced, back to your doorstep, funny as it was. That name carried a lot of baggage, and none that was meant to settle inside your home."

Goddammit! It’s awful! It’s all awful!

That’s the fifth or so story that will become nothing but a file collecting digital dust in your folders. No amount of planning, storyboarding, or creativity can help a scatterbrained writer. Easy as it was to write a killer line or two, giving those lines meaning, finding the right spot for them to be worth something in their paragraphs, fuck. It’s meant to be fun, but it’s not fun when all you’re doing is struggle. With a sigh, you take a step back and look at your most recent Untitled(1) document. Another stillborn story, another dead end.

The front door’s lock calls to your attention with its sound, someone’s presence lifting your spirits.

“I’m home!” Lui yells from the front as she makes her way to the kitchen.

“Hey babe.” You turn around, ready to stand up before Lui bends down to your height to plant a kiss on your lips. Your arm comes around her neck and keeps her in place as a playful ‘Hmm!’ escapes her mouth.

Lui places a white bag on the table, taking out a pack of ground beef, spring onion, carrots, and other ingredients that would probably go into tonight’s dinner. You offer to help put away the food, but Lui tells you not to worry. Not wanting to feel like a decoration, you turn back to your screen, but not much is happening there either. The blinking text cursor awaits your input, and you don’t know what to tell it.

As if the feeling of wasted time couldn’t get any worse, Lui leans in, getting a good look at those two or three pathetic paragraphs you had managed to pump out in a couple of hours, and with that gleeful tone of hers, she asks you “Whatcha cooking?”

“Oh I don’t know,” You sigh. “A bunch of prompts.”

“Can’t get into the zone?”

“Not really.”

“Ah, maybe you gotta take a break, you’ve been writing all week, you know.”

Ah, she just had to say it, didn’t she. “I know…” You grunt. “That’s what pisses me off. All that wasted time. There’s nothing to write about.”

“Ne-neee Anon!” She chuckles. “Quit being so negative, there has to be something to write about, right? What about that story you wrote about an evil lady who wanted to get back with her childhood best friend?”

“That was like… a stroke of luck. Lighting in a bottle, you know?”

“But you wrote it!” She smiles. “Or did you steal it?” She grinned.

“All writers steal!” You retort. And well, that is mostly true. The story was about an evil empress who was actually a dork who wanted to be noticed by the hero, her childhood friend. You hadn’t published that story just yet, you found no one who cared for such a vanilla thing. Aside from some publishers who surely skimmed through your work, you had a whole one reader, and one fan, both your girlfriend Lui. She really enjoyed that story, so much so that it put the biggest smile on your face to hear her reaction from another room, knowing she either read the romance comedy parts or the smutty ones.

Hell, you didn’t think your story needed porn, but Lui insisted the quality of the work would skyrocket if the two had a little scene where they did the deed and the hero dicked the demon lord in a tent.

That and, well, her favorite character was one of the empress’ servants, a lady much more mature but just as much of a cute dork as her master. Writing her scenes, making her bounce off the empress, those were also some of your favorite scenes, they were the ones you loved writing the most.

And well, that was because…

“Okay, I’ve got it!” Lui smiles. “You say there’s nothing to write about, huh?”

“Yeah?”

“Then write a story about me!” Lui strikes a pose. “Your hot, beautiful-”

“Dork.”

With a playful glare, Lui looks away and sits on the table, placing her ass next to your computer. “Well, well, what’s my line?”

“It’s not a play-” You chuckle. “How about… a bar, a café?”

“Okaaay! Oh, wait, wait!” Lui storms off towards the bedroom, and with surprisingly swiftness, she comes back dressed in mom jeans, a white t-shirt, and a green apron. “How’s this for a waitress?” She turns around, letting you sneak a quick glance at how beautifully the jean falls around her curves, like a cascade of denim accentuating itself around her meaty bottom. Lui then kicks her foot up in the air, and by god those thighs were proof of God’s love towards mankind. Once she faced you again, the apron didn’t let you see much, other than the cleavage that peeked from a low cut V-neck, and of course, one of your favorite details about her chest, a mole on her right tit.

“Like a pulitzer.” You quipped.

“Oi-! Is that a good thing?” Lui walked over to you and sat there again, those bits of fat on her belly, on her waist, that shirt was way too small, and like her body melted they spilled down her jeans. The urge to grab it, to bite it, was as primal as a fight or flight response. Swallowing the urge to grab Lui and bend her over, you told her a pulitzer was like a second nobel for writers.

“Okay, so, what’s my line?” She crossed her arms.

“Well, not so much a line… but how about…” You pondered. What scene can you drop this luscious lady into? “A man sits in a cafe, and meets with, uhhh, an old friend?”

“You make it sound kinda gloomy.” She chuckled. “Okay, okay, here I go…”

Like that, Lui stepped out of the frame, and you read your scene out loud.

“I sat waiting for my coffee, counting the seconds with my fingers. I saw my waiter pass me by with his work uniform and leave the shop without it. Maybe he was out for a break, maybe his shift was over. I hoped he had tagged someone else for my order.”

The sound of clinking porcelain entered your ears, as well as the friendly humming of Lui’s voice. There she was, now you had to introduce her to the scene.

“Right before I flagged another waiter, the coffee was placed in front of me by a fine hand.” You typed as Lui did exactly what you just described. “... with nails painted in a pretty pink.” Lui giggles at your compliment, and shows off her nails by giving you a good look at them. “I turned over to thank the waiter, or waitress, as I realized. A familiar face was atop that uniform, with a surprised expression as she recognized me back-” Lui feigned a gasp and covered her mouth with her fingers in an exaggerated manner. “-and she was the first to greet me, the first one to fully recognize the other.”

“Hey…!” Lui waved, stopping before looking away. “Uhhh… Do I call you Anon, or…?”

“Just call me Anon for now.” You smiled.

“Okay-! Oh Anon! I didn’t expect to see you here! How are you?”

Committing to having your characters named as their real life counterparts, you followed Lui’s example. “Lui-nee! I haven’t seen you since we graduated!”

A complete lie for the two actors. Lui and you had seen no one but each other since high school. 7 years together and counting, but to the characters, it was a reunion.

“Yeah…” Lui played with her hair, tilting her head. “I remember…”

“... Something on your mind…?” Your character spoke, but like many details in writing, Lui didn’t quite catch it at first.

“I mean, you said that the two knew each other so I thought-” Lui spoke.

“Oh, no, no, no, I still meant it in character.” You corrected her.

“Oh-” Lui blushed. “Ahem-! Well YEAH, I mean, never thought I’d see you again.”

“You say that like I owe you money…” You chuckled.

“... You do owe me.” Lui’s tone shifted. “You made a promise.”

“A promise…?” Both Anons pondered. A promise wasn’t a bad plot point, keeping it a secret from the reader is a good way to keep them entertained.

But Lui didn’t know that.

“You promised,” She continued. “We’d see the festival fireworks together, and then you ran off.”

And there, both the fictional Anon and the real one were cornered. Lui really, really wanted to go to the festival last summer, right on for her birthday, but work piled up on your side and you had to travel out of the city. She called you to voice her disappointment and how much she wished you were there, and even when she never got mad about your responsibilities…

You could tell she was sad. And you still remember how feeble her voice sounded over the phone, a distinct sadness that no compressed audio could mask.

“I didn’t ran off…” You spoke, back into character. “I had to… I had to leave the city.”

“I know…” She groaned. “Anyways… Let me know if you need anything else!”

“R-Right…” You turned back to your coffee, more like, to your empty prop-cup Lui had placed there for the immersion. Dread, feeling as if something was left unsaid, as if something had to be salvaged, either in your story, or in your love life. “L-Lui!” You beckoned the waitress back. “Uh… can we talk after your shift? Maybe… get something to eat?”

“... Sure! I get off at 6.”

“Great… I’ll see come pick you up then.”

“It’s date…” She smiled.

You hit enter on the keyboard, concluding the scene. “Alright, that’s a wrap.”

“Hmhm!” Lui giggled. “How was my performance? Where’s my oscar? My Pulse-itler?”

“Pulitzer…” You chuckled.

“That!”

“Well, I can work with that. I guess I just gotta find some substance in that first scene.”

“Okay! So, let’s get to it.”

“... Right now?”

“Yeah?”

“I mean… I usually sit on it for a while, let it simmer.”

“Nope, you’re not doing that.”

“What? You want to actually write the whole story?”

“Mhm, right now!”

“... It’s gonna be shit…”

With a sigh, Lui pulled your cheek. “How come? I’m in it, right?”

You thought of a smartass answer, but you figured Lui wasn’t in the mood for it. “Awight, awight, let me go…!” You babble as Lui turns her back to you.

“Next scene! Before I go back to my dressing room!”

“Okay, okay!” You concede. “So… He picks up the girl in his car…”

Hmm, that could work. You type and readit aloud.

“I felt ashamed-” You typed, causing Lui to chuckle.

“Why…?”

“Let me write.” You gunted. “I felt ashamed to show up in a car that was held together by duct tape. Before I could care less if my co-pilot was a toolbox and my freshener was a rotten piece of fried chicken, but now I was showing up to a café hoping that Lui wouldn’t get one look at my, uhhh…”

“The car?” She whispered, probably meaning she meant it off character. You nodded. “Hmm… wouldn’t get one look at my… Junk-on-wheels!”

“Ehh…” You tilted your head from side to side.

“My rust-mobile?”

“That works…” You smiled.

Proudly, Lui sat on the table again, leaning back and giving me a cheeky smile. “I want my royalties, pay up~”

“Add it to my tab.” You chuckled. “So… one look at my rust-mobile and regret her decision. I didn’t know what I could offer to this woman after all these years.” You typed, the line hitting a little too close to home. One of the struggles of your main character tethered towards your heart. “Showing up in this joke of a car, I couldn’t help it. Lui was just that kind of woman.”

“Hmm?” Lui leaned in, her interest peeking into your eyes to see if she could discern what you meant.

“The kind of woman that made anyone fumble in her presence, whose pretty eyes made you botch your speech trying to sound normal. The way I remembered her, oh, time hadn’t touched her smile, because it worked the same magic on me like it did when we dated in highschool. I felt a fluttering in my chest, and it wouldn’t leave me with anything but the eagerness to see it again.”

“Hmhmhm~” Lui giggled, her cheeks blooming like roses. “Ne-neee~ Are you saying that about me or just the girl in the story~?”

You blew her a kiss. Lui deserved your most heartfelt verses. “I finally saw her, with her apron folded on her arms-”

“Oh!” Lui took off the apron and folded it.

You smiled. “And when she saw me she waved at me.” You typed, Lui waving in turn. “She got inside my car-” You typed as Lui grabbed a chair and sat next to you. “And we greeted each other. I’m not sure what my plan was, but I was here and I needed to come up with something. I knew a nice restaurant that was not far off, but there was a wound between us I wasn’t sure I could fill with just food. I felt I owed this woman a lot more than just some sushi and chit chat. I owed her an explanation.” You swallowed. “An explanation for my absences, for the times I let her down in the past…” You wrote, the lines between your character and you becoming thinner.

“Anon…” Lui spoke, resting her head on her hand. “... It’s been a while.”

Perhaps her cue for you to get back into character, to not bleed too much into the page. You nodded. “It has.”

“So… How was the country? You see a lot of cool things…?”

“... I guess. Grass is cool the first time, then you realize it’s the only thing you can look at aside from Mount Fuji.”

“Ho…” She smirked. “Nice…”

A distance that stood between two people. “Two people who were right next to each other,” You typed again. “... And yet separated by things left unsaid. By a shared history. I don’t know where I was driving to, I wasn’t sure I was driving at all until I came back to my senses and realized my feet where at the pedals, and my hands were at the wheel. I was at a red light. I had so many things I wanted to say to Lui, and even after having the whole day to come up with something worthwhile, I had nothing. An explanation for my shortcomings.”

Then, you felt Lui’s hand come over your shoulder.

“... Much to my surprise, Lui was the one to break that ominous silence.” You typed. “I failed her once, and now I felt like…” and you stopped. “... I owe you an explanation…” You said, either in character, or out of it. “I regret it, I really did…”

“What-?” Lui tilted her head, just as it seemed as if she put two and two together. “A-Ah, Anon, wait-”

“I called the day off, but they wouldn’t have it. ‘All PTO and vacations are frozen’, I’m still mad, I wanted to spend the entire season with you but I couldn’t…”

“Ha… Anon, I’m not mad! I would’ve been if you had done nothing…”

“What? But…”

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“When you were away, you know what kept me company?”

“... No?”

“... The letters you sent me, you dork.”

“What do you mean…?”

By this point, you couldn’t tell if Lui was talking about the story, or about last summer.

“You sent me letters, verses, and that story that you still haven’t sent to a publisher.” Lui smiled, a sly tone of reproach on her last point. “... I knew that you were busy, and yet, you sent me those letters, hand written…” She blushed. “Seriously! You’re a pervert!”

You blushed as you finally realized what she talked about, and the context that came with it. Well, you did mention how much you wanted to have her there with you on the hotel and bend her over the balcony, and share the view, of course.

“... I read those letters, those verses, all those things that you made for me, and that’s how I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“I don’t know… Just… I knew…!”

Whatever she wanted to say, you felt it. She’s not too far from you as a writer. Words fail. Japanese is a worthless language. You can’t even use it to describe just how blessed you feel to have this woman by your side. When you look at her smile… “...I feel as if no time has passed between us at all, as if we were together this entire time, waiting to see each other again…”

“Hmmm~ Where did that one come from, huh? I’ve been here all this time!” She slapped the back of your head. “Haaa! You say the worst things!” Lui chuckled as the wings on her head flapped, letting me know I hit all the right notes in her heart.

"Seriously, you overthink too much..."

"Can't help it. It's how I got into this hobby."

“So… What did Anon send Lui?”

“Huh?”

“In the story, you’re gonna use that, right?”

“Oh, yeah, uh…” That’s… that’s perfect! It’s perfect for a plot! “Yeah, I’m using that!”

“There you go!” Triumphant, Lui cheered.

She’s the fountain, she source of all your best works, of your finest prose. She sits in your heart waiting for you to feed her with a love verse, to give her beauty life like a wind-up doll. You can’t fail her, it’s up to you.

To put flight on your muse’s wings.

“So…” Lui smiled. “You know what happens next, right?”

“What?”

“The next scene!”

“Uh, no, not yet-”

“Wrong! I know what happens!”

“... And that is?”

“Sex! They have hot, steamy, bed breaking sex!”

“Ha… You’re a great muse but you’re a terrible storyteller.”

“Haaa?!”

Standing up, you closed the laptop. Lui stood up next. “Heeey! No chickening out! You need to write the next scene!”

“Mhm, you’re right.” You grabbed her by the hips, planting a kiss on her unsuspecting lips. Soon her hands warped around you, and there you let your mouths echo through the empty kitchen. Slightly, you crouched and picked her up, exerpting a yelp from Lui.

And off to the bedroom you went. The smut scene had no place in the story just yet, but if Lui wanted it, best to start writing noting some references for when you get there.