Private Student Affairs

Today was very chilly.

I suppose I shouldn't've expected better weather. It was early November, after all, an' I was sat here for almost an hour now.

Professor Shafiq was standin' by me. She looked even more bothered than I was, constantly re-lightin' the little campfire she'd made for us. Even when she was practic'lly sittin' on it, she looked frigid. She'd told me she was on welcome duty, an' I believed it. There was no way she'd be here otherwise, with how much she was shiverin'.

As another snowflake tickled my nostril, I couldn't help but sneeze. By the time I'd opened my eyes again, the train had already shown up.

Waves of students began pouring out've the carriages, floodin' the platform an' quickly tramplin' missus Shafiq's campfire. It seemed like almost everyone but me had gotten a trip t' Hogsmeade...

...but that guilty melancholy quickly melted away as I saw a familiar face. I leapt up from the frigid bench I'd been rotting away upon 'n ran over to meet a great friend've mine.

"Merlin! Merlinnn!!"

I was wavin' my hands, smilin', everythin'! He almost seemed baffled-- didn't see me until I was near enough t' smell his breath. After he took a few steps back an' shook my hand, he started smilin'.

"Amalia! I's good t' see you!" He blinked a bit, then raised a brow. "Weren't you comin' wiff us?"

I couldn' help but look away at that. "Yeah, I was. Then, well..."

My gaze drifted to missus Shafiq, who seemed busy welcomin' a few older students back from the trip. Somehow, she was still shiverin'. You'da thought she'd have gotten used to the cold by now. Maybe she was allergic.

"Well wot?"

"I got caught again." I huffed. "Didn' account for teachers realizing I'd been gone at all after finally showin' up for once."

Merlin stifled a laugh, but I could see his cheeks were still flushin'. "Wot'd you 'ave to do this time? Interpret Stan's profecies?"

My face went pale with the thought, an' I shook my head violently. "Oh, god, no! I wasn' that unlucky! Besides, talking about punishment's no fun."

I took an aside t' glance 'round, make sure that Shafiq wasn' watchin'... then I began t' whisper. "I found out somethin' way cooler. I figured out how Shafiq did that lion-turnin' thing at Transfiguration."

"WOT?" Merlin yelled, instantly gettin' everyone else's eyes upon us.

I shushed him promptly, raisin' a finger to his lip an' leadin' him away from the crowd, off the platform 'n into the crunchy snow of the school grounds. "Keep your voice down... I did! I got into the library, I went an' found it. It's somethin' super complicated, an' it could be dang'rous... but I'm goin' to do it. I've got to."

Merlin looked at me with wild eyes, his expression almost jumpin' off've his face. "How?"

"I, uh... I don' know. I don't have the book what said it had it. Had t' drop it when I heard someone passin' by... a-an' it turned out t' be missus Shafiq."

Merlin's brow raised further. "Then 'ow'd you know i's so complex? Maybe i's jus' a simple spell."

I shook my head. "No, def'nitely not! It had a whole chapter dedicated t' it! I couldn' read half of it! Well... I couldn' read most've it..."

"Why not? 'S 'n English, isn' it?"

Well...

"You 'ave to be jokin'."

I shook my head. "No, i's... i's exactly what I saw."

Merlin an' I were staring at the most impenetrable wall of old text we'd ever seen. Not even my Ancient Runes textbook was helping. No wonder the bookkeeper had looked at us funny when I jus' up an' asked for it.

"It's no' old Norse, i's not old Frisian, an' if it's old English... then i's some type that I can't read."

This was more than a bit frustratin'. There was this great big book before us, the entire night t' figure it out, an' nobody else in the common room to distract us... but how were we supposed to read this gibberish? Were we supposed t' be guessin' what it said? Jus' as I was about t' get up to pace 'round an' think, Merlin caught my arm by the robe 'n told me to sit back down. "'Old on."

"Wha'?"

"You need instructions, yeah?" Merlin almos' seemed surprised by how he spoke, an' repeated himself. "Instructions, yes?"

I blinked. "...yeah."

I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard Merlin sayin' yes. It was always a 'yeah' or 'awright' or somethin' along those lines. Plus, I'd heard him the first time. Why was he repeatin' himself?

"'Ere. I's not that difficult t' read. Jus' English." He was speakin' quietly, like he shouldn't've been heard. It was tickin' me off, slightly. Couldn't hear him well at all.

"Merlin, I can barely make you out. Wha' are you sayin'?" I sat back down, following his eyes onto the bizarre pages.

"Sorry, should I be louder?"

I'd've thought he was polyjuiced, were he talkin' like this before. What'd gotten into him? "Yes-- please." I threw a glance over my shoulder to make sure we were still alone. Somethin' was naggin' at me, tellin' me this was wrong. That Merlin shouldn't be here.

"List'n here. 'Of Mandrake leaf one mus' be sound, a full moon mus' be found. From wane t' wax, fou shant be lax, until one sees double 'n the moon returns at last.'"

Cripes. "No wonder missus Shafiq thought we couldn' be trusted with this. I can hardly figure out her homework, an' it's less confusin' than this. This thing must've messed with her head," I thought aloud.

"I'm not finished." Merlin mumbled, still actin' strange. He traced his finger's 'cross the page while he spoke. "'Once the moon be full, a phial thou mus' find. One of crystal, sunk'n in moonshine, havin' a fill ah hair, wild dew, 'n a moff divine. Take i's shell, spit well, 'n hide it all away for a time.'"

What was this nonsense? Was Merlin jus' making it up? "Very funny. I know you can't read that."

"Wot? Yes I can!" Merlin almost seemed baffled.

"Stop messin' with me! You thought I was joking when I brought this book out. If you could read it, you'd've been normal about seein' it, surely." I was a little louder than I wanted to be. It was hard to keep your voice down for so long when it was so late, an' I was so tired.

I guess my volume caught Merlin off-guard. He blinked at me a bit 'n looked back at the pages. "But i's jus' English. I 'ave no problems with English. Can you read?"

...

...what was I even s'pposed to say t' that?

All I could do was stare as Merlin went on.

"Wif the mixture hidden well, one mus' recite a spell. Chant, ev'ry day 'n ev'ry night, the followin' words:"

Merlin stopped and gave the rest of the table a glance. "'Ave you a quill or two?"

A... quill? I shook my head. "None. No... birds." I paused.

Did he mean one of Pepper's feathers? I could do that. "Hold on."

A moment later, after diggin' around in my briefcase, I managed t' find one for him t' use.

"Bit tiny, innit?" Merlin said, lookin' at the thing with way too much care t' be normal.

"It'll... it'll do, I think. Are you alright, mate?" My concern leaked into my voice.

"Very well, fanks," though I could tell he was lyin'. Merlin plucked the quill from my hand 'n reached across the table, grabbin' a dried inkwell someone'd left lyin' 'round, an'... dippin' the feather in there 'til it went black.

Some intolerable scratchin' later, he passed me a scrap've paper with some words on it. They were written in the same runes's the book, an' I had t' stop myself from blowin' up at him. Instead, I kept myself cool... "...I can't read this! Merlin, what're you doin'?"

Merlin sighed. "I didn' know you weren' literate, 'pologies. Amato, Animo, Animato, Animagus."

A moment've silence cut through us both, an' I kept quiet as Merlin turned the page. "Such words mus' be spoken wif the wand over the 'eart, 'til the 'eart splits'n twain, 'n over 'n over again come wind or rain, until, finally, there comes a storm."

Only now did I decide to start takin' notes. I didn' trust it, whatever this was, but I wanted a record of it regardless. Maybe if Merlin returned t' sanity I could show him, an' we could figure it out together...

"Whence a storm came, recite the words again, 'n empty the phial.'"

Silence hung over the entire common room. The only sound we could hear was the cracklin' fireplace an' our breathin'.

"...tha's all." Merlin mumbled again, turnin' away from me.

His comment didn't break the silence. I leaned over to his left, tryin' to read the words he was speakin'... an' couldn't make out any of them.

"You're makin' these up." I mumbled.

"Am no'! I--" Merlin raised his voice, but then went to'ally silent. He shook his head 'n looked at me funny, then spun his head 'round a bit. "Amalia... me 'ead hurts. You're still 'ere?"

He kept babblin' nonsense for a bit, but I'd had enough.

"Okay, tha's it. We're goin' to the hospital wing."

A student descended the Grand Staircase on his way to Herbology class. He thought nothing of the crowd gathered beneath a certain painting until he heard one of them exclaim murder.

A glance was given to confirm the rumor, and the student found himself dismayed. There was hardly any murder to be found, just an empty frame. What was everyone so worried about?

He continued on to class, not paying the empty painting any mind. It was just some medieval bunk, after all. Some old dead wizard or another taking a vacation. It wasn't worth all this trouble.

When the student returned to his House's common room, he ascended the stairs in the same manner that he had descended them. The same path, but in reverse.

Upon his ascendance, however, the student found himself stopping to stare at the portrait... which, once more, housed a particularly famous ancient wizard.

It'd been a month, now, since we first figured out that riddle.

In a week, we'd be out've Hogwarts for the rest've the year. Both Merlin an' I had kept that leaf in our mouths so long we'd forgotten what our mouths felt like without them. This was my third attempt, and his fifth. Neither of us had ever gotten this far before, and if we failed now... it'd be months before we could try again. Imagine our luck, then... when we found out that tonight was stormin'.

We could tell, of course, by the fact that our cloaks were soaked. Everythin' on me was soaked! My hair was so wet, it somehow managed to make itself look even more black. My scalp was as marshy as the lakeside we were slowly sinkin' into, an' Merlin looked hilarious.

"Stop laffin'!" He pouted. But it was so hard to! I couldn' even see his face, it was totally soaked in straight red hair. It was such a stark contrast to the castle behind him, and everythin' else, that it only highlighted how goofy he looked.

"You look like a giddy banshee! How can I no'?" I managed to comment through giggles.

"Oh, iunno, by 'avvin' some manners?" He was so upset. "I came up wif this hidin' spot an' decoded half that riddle for us. I deserve some respec'."

"Okay, okay! You do, you do." I was still laughing.

I tried not to tease him further, though. He had his wand out, af'er all. Even as it was twitchin' an' soakin' in the rain, his forethought reminded me t' pull out my own. My potion phial, too.

That potion was redder than I thought it was s'pposed to be. The riddle had never mentioned color, 'f'course, but all the potions I'd seen before were some kind've green or blue or clear color. This almos' looked wrong... but Zach'd insisted it was right, an' I'd long accepted that I couldn't rely on my own potioning skills like I had the firs' time.

"Anyways, we need to focus..." Merlin's gaze wandered--

rrrrmbl

--before he perked up an' turned his 'ttention to a big tree northwest've us. "'Malia, list'n--"

The low rumblin' grew louder. This must've been it! We'd been waiting all day, an' now...

"You remember the words, right?" I panicked. I'd recited them so many times now, my brain had lost track've their meanin'.

"You're 'avin' a laugh! 'Course I do! 'member this: ay, ay, ay ay!"

Right! Ay, ay, ay ay. The letters echoed in my head. They alone were enough to remind me of the words I'd practiced daily for weeks now.

CCRRRR-ACK

FWOOM

The tree we were watchin' went up in flames. The flames went out seconds later, extinguished by the pourin' rain, an' I gripped my wand a bit more tightly. I kept repeatin' the words in my head, over an' over, makin' sure I remembered them. Merlin pulled out his own flask, watchin' as the tree--

CRRREEEAAA-BOOM

--collapsed into the grass. The sound've its fall could be heard across the whole lake, reverberatin' in my ears, prob'ly wakin' up the poor selkies.

Merlin already had his wand on the tip of his heart, and now was my turn. At almos' the exact same time, while thunder roared, the both of us shouted:

Amato, Animo, Animato, Animagus!

We scrambled to down the potion we thought we'd needed. Bits and drops of it poured down the side of my face, stainin' the ground red, as we chugged as quickly as we could. The potion almos' made me throw up: I'd taken way too big a swig at once, an' was strugglin' not t' choke. Merlin didn' even look at me, jus' downed the whole thing. It seemed like a normal amount t' him, an' I made a mental note never to challenge him to a drinkin' contest.

Seconds passed. Merlin licked his lips clean've the concoction, throwin' the glass to the side, his glance at me mirrorin' my worry. I was about t' open my mouth, ask him what'd happened. I thought we'd done somethin' wrong... but I was stopped dead in my tracks by a surge've pain.

Instantly, my eyes went dead. My brain was all that could see. A loud caw rang out between my ears, an' my heart went racin'. One, two, one, two, one--

The pace sped up, joined by another. My lungs felt overstuffed, my ribcage ready to burst. I keeled over, only knowin' I'd hit the ground from the feelin' of my fingertips, an' felt a violent pang of horror run through my veins as that feelin' began to disappear.

I gripped the ground tightly, tryin' to cling onto that feelin', tryin' to ground myself as the cawin' started multiplyin'. Eventually, a flash of black flew through my vision: a dark feather flew in front've me, before a crow landed on top've a lighthouse. I felt like I was flung forward, then, right at the thing. I was convinced it'd peck my eyes out-- skewer my eyeballs on its beak, maybe-- but it jus' opened its mouth t' caw again--

--an' I was thrown right back onto the shore've the lake.

My ears were ringin'. My head was half-covered in mud. It was def'nitely still rainin'... but I couldn't see a thing.

I was beyond dazed, unable t' move much. My face felt long, an' my ears didn' seem t' move anymore. My legs were gone, an' in their place...

"...talons?"

My voice sounded weird. Croaky, almos'. Like those talking parrots you'd see at bird sanctuaries. I blinked a bit, unsure've what else t' say, shaking my head an' pullin' myself out've the mud with... a pair of wings.

My heart was still racin'. It was a little hard t' breathe with how loud it was poundin', how it felt like a hammer kept hitting me in the chest over an' over an' over... but it'd worked. It'd worked! Clearly, the potion had worked!!

Through the pain, my heart-- hearts?-- began t' soar. I couldn' believe it. I was...

Wait, weren't I supposed t' be a lion? I cocked my head on instinct, suddenly puzzled. Maybe I'd messed up. Was this incantation for somethin' else? But-- no. Firethorn had been a monitor, hadn't he?

Suddenly, somethin' more important barged into my brain.

"Merlin!! Merlin?!" I squawked, jumpin' to my feet an' lookin' 'round. Where on earth--?!

A secretarybird sat to my left.

It looked... beyond confused. As confused as a bird like that could look, anyways. For all I knew, it could've been apathetic or annoyed. But its eyes were wide open, an' its beak was halfway hangin' as well. Dark circles were engraved underneath its wrinkly eyebags, somehow makin' it look even older than secretarybirds already did... the thing looked like it'd never slept, not once.

Now, we weren't in Africa. Nor were we anywhere near it. We weren't at a zoo, neither, so I had to assume...

"Merlin?!" I squawked again, hoppin' over to stare up at the bird. When it didn't respond, I hopped up onto one of its legs. It didn't pay me any mind, starin' off into the distance, before blinkin' a bit 'n lookin' down at me.

I realized, then, that I needed t' look up to see its face. It was so big that I could jump up an' still not touch its beak. I was around a fourth its size, an' lookin' up at it was hurting my neck. I blinked right back...

...only t' hear Merlin's shaky voice leave the bird's beak. "Ge'... get off'a me, will you?"

I did as I was told, but I couldn' help paradin' around after I heard it. "Merlin, Merlin!" I almos' felt stupid, repeatin' his name so many times. But it felt natural. Like I was s'pposed t' jes be repeating things. I had t' actively force myself to speak like a normal person.

"Merlin! You're-- another bird?" My head was cocked to the side once more. "Or, well-- that's you, isn' it?"

The secretarybird got to its feet an' shook itself off, another crack've thunder promptin' it to look up.

"You're certainly no' a lion... or a monitor..." I continued, confused.

The bird's sight drifted to its obscenely long legs. It stared at them for a bit, before pullin' out its wings in front of it.

"...but you're a bird! An'-- I am too?" I hopped 'round in a circle while I thought, the pourin' rain making thinkin' even hard than it already was. "How, how! What could'a..."

"You're a bird!" Merlin exclaimed, seemingly having no trouble with my broken record syndrome. "You're-- 'old on..."

The secretarybird bent forward. I backed up on instinct, a little concerned, while it eyed me carefully. "I 'ave no clue what you are. A crow, 'a sorts?"

A crow... that explained my size. An' my feathers-- contrasted to Merlin's mostly white ones, mine were all black. If there was a mirror, I could totally confirm the species. But that'd have to wait.

For now, we were sat on the banks've Hogwarts Lake. Lightnin' was cracklin' all around us, an' we were completely soaked.

But... we were birds.

"Merlin... d'you know what this means?" I chirped, starin' him in his big birdy face.

"I fink I have an inklin'." He replied, his tone no less excited.

A new era of mischief was about to descend upon this shoddy old castle. The days of detention an' dragon dung were over for me, an' over for Merlin too.

After all, who'd suspect a couple've birds of stealin' one've the library's books? Puttin' a whoopie cushion underneath Travers' office chair? Why, talons couldn't hold eggs tightly enough t' cover all the dorm rooms in yolk!

"Neither of us ever have t' get caught again. We'll make sure of it!" I cackled, flappin' my wings about an' singin'. "An' if they try'n catch us, we'll be scot-free in seconds! Out the window, and out of their reaches!"

"Yeah!" Merlin trilled, dancin' about in much the same manner as I. "Anyone who suspects the birds'll be out've their minds!"

As rain continued pourin' down, an' lightnin' kept runnin' 'cross the sky, the both of us could be seen laughin' ourselves t' death.

A great big boom rang out through the sky, the thunder finally catchin' up to the lightnin' that'd come before it, proclaimin' to all the world what the both of us were already thinkin':

"Hogwarts will never know peace again!"