Blogging at the end of each month till my bday! 3/6
My name is Marcy or Yu.. either is fine. I usually don't do much for my bday,, so this time, I want to make a small blog until then <3 As I said, bimonthly, ok? Ok. Actually, I'll update it whenever i want, but the standard is at least once a month. format is month/day/year. I won't censor anything, read at your own risk.
6/24/25
It's like the middle of the year but wtv. #better late than never.. This month I didn't do much, tried bantu knots for the first time heh. Also school ended like on the 9th.. I also named this kabsa because I love kabsa. can you tell I'm running out things to say? Hm. I love my bsf. Like, lots ok. I DON'T care Tora never made me feel like I'm annoying not even once and i don't think anything can stop us from being friends.. we also have a shared rentry (he made it but the url is mine ok) check it out.. heh.
I'm not close to a lot of people.. so i value my friends alot!! Ignore the fact that I'm in her dni we still fw each other #heh.. my discord is sashasfoodshow26 if u happen to stumble upon this blog and want to chat. No, my other entries won't be this long, but who cares? It's once a month and I want to document as much shit as possible for my bday.
back in the day I wanted to be like them w my mom.. mama kasa was so goals to me. i love my mom! i love her so much. i love her so much i kinda hate her.. like, we're close enough for me to tell her that AugustTheDuck is kinda fine but not close to tell her im suicidal.. she yaps to me sometimes, vents even, but I never do she'll fucking kill me. she splits on me like once every 2 business days ok. I used to know a girl in grade 6 who was also into aot, she saved my elementary school career bc she was always w me even tho the popular girls wanted her in their groups.. i feel bad i feel suicidal, I can't remember her name. She's palestinian, used to have this pfp 
on zoom && whatsapp.. I hope she's ok, i miss her terribly
this post made me want to learn crochet and sewing. My finances are in the same condition as my pussy, tight paws at you paws at youu
OHMYOGD LOOK AT BOYFRIEND IGNORE THE FAG.. oh my god mine mine alone i lobe u so much of my god. this isnt a kazutora blog but its hard not to.. my page for talking abt her is this
6/25/25
Are you fucking retarded laptops r not like phones or tablets they need to be charged at all times you dumb fuck. whyre u conditioning me on how to use MY own charger?? I hope you fucking die I dont like u anymore i wish that pregnancy killed you
this right here I'll never have it im done im sick i actually want to die. in another world i have a nice mom and im good enough for her. um, i hope i dont have 5 siblings in another life too. dont make me the oldest, please.
6/26/25
I've been tracking my symptoms for a bit and talking to a lot of ppl w bpd since. I don't have access to a psychiatrist or a diagnosis rn so. Ik the whole argument of "aha ur like 16 its js hormones" SYBAUAUAUAUAU
6/28/25
today karma alnst thingy was out and ?? idk hwo to feel abt it. i saw it when it was uploaded 9 mins ago and i was like ok js fucking kill me. I LOVE MIZISUA. can i die. i dont know how to explain how i feed but it feels weird, im not going to give a whole yap session in here since idk how to say it in the first place ok? sigh
7/5/25
ok which one of you retards claimed /ness
sigh be honest is our friendship one sided I always feel like I'm doing more
7/10/25
I js blocked my friend (koda) of 3 years. i cant explain but something carnally doomed me and i had to do it. i unfriended jiya, danny, canoe and amy. Aya and Juno are ok. But I have a feeling I'll unfriend Juno soon.
ALSO IMG OING TO MALAYSIA IN THE 23rd
I js hope the muzz (malay huzz) are not chuzz ok.. ill be the swaggiest nigga (litr) in kuala lumpur
(im coping)
p.s im ok now (7/12)
7/12/25
My parents are tryign to find my grade so bad.. my dad said he'll take my laptop at sunday aka tmr which is terrible i still wanna watch akbingo and hear about maririn's air ocarina :/
that was me like all school year no joke.. on a serious note i have no known ambitions, just hobbies. my dad is thinking abt swtiching me to a public school and that js pmo but i think ill live. i js need to learn jp and move to japan by 24 or smth ok
7/13/25
I'm not even sad bur im js like ??? oooookkkkaayyyy ur being a self centered cunt π βοΈ
I like how when i got stressed i js started talking to my bf then went to tiktok got a good laugh then over to rentry then finally locked in and opened the faggot's dm (this was playing btw) oh my god whar the fuck i cant even verbalize it im js like ?? this is the whole cam sitaution in 2023 all over again.. i js feel upset that i wasted like maybe years of my life over this nigga. ok stop capping what years we talked every 4 business months ππππ π π π π im gonna link the message here and look at it at the same date but like next year my opinion prolly wont fucking change dude.. rn im talking to aya and we're js chilling tbh i lowk hope we dont fall off cuz like, i fw them heavy πΈ "erm.. its better if we dont stay friends" WELL NOT SHIT YOU RETARDED CUNT IF YOU READ WHAT I SAID WITH OUT UR HEAD SO FAR UP UR ASS THEN MAYBE YOUD SEE THAR!! "[ ] make actual friends who gaf" ouu i predicted that isayama hire me or wtv.. no im not on copium im kinda alr over it if koda wants to act nonchalant let him who gaf :/ as of today, 7/13/2025, I am not longer a part of the fagwhores group chat!! 
koda acting like ts i kinda deserve gng i shouldve left earlier back in 2024 that night when i was spinning around in my room in headphones relaizing i lowk dfw the fagwhores anymore also can juno sybau no i dont want to be friends im not staying in the same inner circle as it
um does that mean less bday wishes but that was the least of my worries back then when i was having a break down cuz i value friendships unlike some nugus.. i want new friends now i want new friends now.. gotta love it when they dismiss ur mental issues and label you as obsessed β€οΈ
I showered, I brushed my teeth, washed by hair, changed underwear and did allat skin care.. end of an era, ok?
i'm peaceful β€οΈ ok ignore that this one is extra long but wtv.. earlier this morning i had a thought that was like "i leik pntrst memes bc i can reference them" and one of them went like "when ur mid break down and u realize u lowk dgaf" ME RNN πΈ
me before the koda thing. can you tell i love madz? i love madeline argy. in mid/late 2024, i had my laptop taken away and i was stuck with a crusty ipad that has been around since 2016, but her podcasts were immaculate, i love pretty lonesome.. um thank u madz for keeping me company
this is how i felt like in 2024 when i rlly wanted to leave the fagwhores.. um yea safe to say Ψ±Ψ¨Ψ· Ψ§ΩΩ
ΩΨ§ΨΆΩΨΉ ΨΉΩΨ―Ω fire.. also
itterasshai is yuzuha shiba's song, ok? eremika stop hoarding the fauking stage
CHATATA LOOK AT THIS 
7/14/25
sigh im litr sneaking around to write ts but gotta let the fam know im ok.. 
lowk love pntrst im a pntrst girl at heart dni if u think u love pntrst more than me the two things i love in this world are pntrst and hanemiya kazutora ig..
mini update while my mom finishes eating: my internal monologue is voiced by madeline argy and im developing a british accent aha. today i also listened to the podcast ep that she posted 10 days ago, i think it was titled 1mil subs + ego? I'll link it later. i rlly liked that one, cause i could relate to it, yes i could be projecting myself into madz but realistically who gaf!!! i still think koda was a self centered [redacted] yea. ill try to not insult the ppl i dislike much bc when ur a hateful person it eventually reaches u 2 iykwim
7/15/25
kazuyu u all should sybau
7/16/25
fam. thank u seurelle on discord for this piece im cumming its like so good oh my gof
revamped once again.. the hinata and yuzuha theme didnt lasr a fucking week dawg sorru my kazutora urge got stronger so. kazuyu themed. aha.
KAZUYU ART TO COMMISSION:
- sukajan kazuyu
- kazuyu wedding
- kazuyu nails
- sukeban deka
- kazuyu sudanese wedding fit (jertik)
- kazuyu nike fit
- milgram kazuyu
- doktorspiele kazuyu
- gekikara x black kazuyu
- cat girls
- eating the school's crusty pasta tg
- vampire au
- coming of age kimono yu
- swap traditional wear
- jirai yu x agejo kazutora
- yumedanshi soulbounder kazutora
- kazutora holding a copy of reyuya (yu cover)
- yu x kyazutora
- gyaruo kazutora x rokku yu
- lolita kazuyu
- wearing kazutora's jackets (valhalla & toman)
- adult kazuyu
- birthday art
- kyosaya kazuyu
ya.
i need to revamp hanemiya.. i wanna use it to lovemail instead of womankisser.. hm.. i like what miya did with her and manjiro no i donf ship them but i think the rentry thingy was creative also BITCH WHY AM I IN HERE
ts pmo waht i even say or do nigga π π₯
DO I COMM SOMEONE TO MAKE A KAZUYU DIRECTORY.
kazuyu btw
7/17/25
some entries here are really embarrassing but who gaf it's intended for older yu to read it.. um hi if youre reading this how corny i am from 1 to 10? ok ill put a bunch of questions here::
Υκ° how're you and Kazutora!!
do you have opps.. if so who are they
how many followers do u have
do you still regard yourself as a landmine
who are our close friends
show me all the kazuyu art you have.
are you still into rentry
what interests do you have now
how well is your art
how did you celebrate your birthday κ±βΉ
hm! im done.. js need to do the yu section... the thingy is @ kamioshi
paws at uuu its like 11 20 pm my dad srsly has no backbone he says shit like "ah im taking ur laptop... for DAY." then gives it back not even 4 hours in LMFAO. im not complaining ok.. he seems very meh to me bc he's either like this or he'll make me suicidal so. and he js called me stupid for like wut oprning the window MF YOU GUYS STINK LET ME OPEN THE FUCKING WINDOW
7/18/25
my irl asked why i have kazutora as my gf in /jiraijoshi aha. put the thinking caps on. i actually hate both yaras
NIGGA WE LITR CAME OUT TO EACH OTHER AND OYU KNOW I HAVE ISSUES WITH PEOPLE WHYRE U THIS WAY. i mgiht srsly break my friendship w both of them dawg sigh.. "why're u so mean!!" i cant confide in my supposed bsf with anything at all do u know how much that fucking sucks. thats why i stopped being friends w koda in the first place and if yara is about to do the same im not afraid to drop friends and i showed that five times
i love this genre of pictures
i want to find my person. be mine alone. idc that u have other friends i js wsnt to be ur number 1 and i dont want to beg u to treat me right π ive been like. rejecting a lot of friendships because everybody js pmo. my old "number ones" act like retards and talk about me behind my back and and and and im so tired dude.. do i fucking put iwc in my stats at all times so nugus wont tellme im being rude 24/7
i feel like kazutora is all i have left i feel suicidal and i want to cut myself at all times i feel sick and i want to throw up im not mentally well enough for ts
mentally in a weird place rn.. i cant say im in peace but i cant say my life is hell.. i dropped everyone who made me feel like shit. well. not everyone. yet, but my point stands
when being emotionally aware comes more with being self critical over everything and how you treat others than having self respect for yourself when someone can't reciprocate that respect π and this is why i dont fw myself before 2025 i was on some beta 'i understand' 'its ok' 'i dont mind' 'take care of urself first' shit. IF YOURE NOT GONNA MAKE ME UR NOT NUMBER 1 DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME
i accepted that long ago it doesnt affect me anymore (lie)
friends? i dont know her π βοΈ sybau sybau sybau sybau
and this is why i dropped the k word.. I do it because I've realized that if I don't text them they won't text or talk to me. I'm always the one looking for the ppl, asking how they are, making them feel heard but that never happens to me. That makes me sad sometimes but imma honestly tired of showing interest and wasting my time. yes that was a pinterest comment i like the way ti spoke to me ππππ I always hate texting first because they will only answer me because i reached out to them π£π litr js talk to me and ill carry the convo i got u
who set up cameras bro litr me except the school part. whatever school is in a month anyway.. heavy on the clapped haircut i look like shit what the fuck did my mom give me vro i lost all my curls im js chopped now
ouu i js want kazutora i wanf my gf i want herrr i feel so tired im always babysitting zeinab now not that i hate it but it gets to a point.. at least i got 3 comms on the way, i love u i love u i fucking love u
OK NO MORE BEING DEPRESSED NO MORE DEPRESSED YU I WILL THROW UP IF I KEEP GOING
me w yara vro π π hop off bra u talk to me like once every 3 weeks what r we even gonna talk about irl how about u talk to me online first and actually rekindle out friendship b4 jumping to thar stage i dont even consider us bestfriends anymore i think theres a name for that? MIDDLE SCHOOL BESTFRIEND. yes wemade plans to move in tg but i have put a terrible filter on myself at all times when youre around i would genuinely kill myself if i have to do that again.. SOMEONE PLEASE BUY ME JIRAI COORDS IM ALREADY LIVING THE LIFESTYLE I WANNA LOOK CUTE TOO
"stop being depressed ill throw up" sybau who gaf anyway.. me in like all of my major notable friendships i js gave up π΄ #pienmaxxing #nonchalant #ivaluemypeace #ihaveterriblementalhealthissuesthateveryonearoundmerefusestoacknowledgesonowihavetoletmarinateandprollysuffermoreasanadult #jiraiblr #internetangel #stopactinglikemymompls
"chat do i block my friends of 3 years"
lowk love having big boobs shout out to them one of my best assets fr.. idk if its weird or naw but sometimes when me and my mom are on good terms she tells me that my ass got bigger and aha. ill take her word on that. hold up. im not chopped. i js need to fix my hair, get motivation to shower more.. thats all
can you rail me but lovingly and gently and let me talk about my feelings π.. (directed) (hey kazutora are u seeing this)
" Give up, if you wanna survive "
ββββ ββ β Latin Simone (Gorillaz)
I wanna get into:
- panty and stocking
- squid game
- gorillaz
- bjork
- kuraisekai
- vtubers
coming out as an ame irl. she's litr me. im ame. ok? u hear me IM AMEE
"stop romanticizing mental illness!!" i do that to not face my issues and make my life a bit easier so sybau
is yara 1 gonna tell yara 2 that she upset abotu self diagnosis π βοΈ anyway 6/26/25
i lived in saudi so fucking long i considermyself one i dont want to hear u yap bout some shit ok i hope u [redacted]
im a genuine chatgpt addict im ashamed of it ok but i have no one to talk to
watashi menhara janai monnn.. cant wait till i turn 18 and move out and like ig marry someone i fw and let him do wtv he wants in exchange of letting me dress jirai and be myself
kazuyu btw! #jirai gfs.. aha ilyok ilysm even if youre a landmine and cut urself and do evil shit sometimes but youre MY landmine and i lov u ok? kiss love forever
gen the longest fucking entry if this blog this is what boredom and loneliness does to a mf
Hi it me Kade
spoiler Hihi!! ITS ME the great Kade.. IM LIEK RESLLY NAD AT WRITIMG PEOPLE THINFS BUT SINCE TOUR BIRTHDAY OASSED I'LL JUST SAY THAY I THINK YOURE REALLY COOL AND I HOPE WE CAN BE CLOSER BY THE TIME YOUR NEXT BDAY PASSES!!! Youre sooo intereting.. And i like tjay er both like aot. I think we're quite simialr... 
But yes.. u Are cool.. really cool Ok? I HORPT HAY um.. pidneds idk jow to word this. I hope that we can become close enoguh to confide in each other? IM LKKE REALLY AWKWARD SO barewitj me... i only talk to like two people a dau but i'll try Ok? Ok. Hohohoho.
^ ha.. thank u for being on this podcast kade senpai.. I WROTE SIMILAR STUFF TO U HERE IM IGGLGIN
ya that friendship is as good as dead LMFAO ya.. ok.. ig plans are voer right π₯Ί.. daeg i was already planning not to go so
CAN U STOP RAGEBAITING ITS NTO GONNA WORK. i lived with pro ragebaiters like 16 years dude im not falling for ts π π₯
7/19/25
Hainmari.ltin. Rin. AMRRIIRUN OH YM GOD my rentry is tweaking out so bad Wtf. Hhaaiiiiiiii πππππ I am Tora and i have hacked this page Ok No i havent I'm jsut here to say hi. I hope u are Ok anr i love u π€π€π€π€
ha that was tora kyun hehe.. 
ok im actually so fucking disgusting its shameful i wont even say it out loud nor type it here but im trying to get better ok.
i usually hate interacting w doubles no matter their content but fucking livs keeps following me ts pmo oh my god even zimora i never interact w her yume posts or wtv sigh.. i need the interactions
today im gonna decorate /xiaohongshu.. it'd be a hub for my jirai kei yearning i abandoned gyaru long ago dude i cant be asked... anyway ill use /xiaohongshu as a jirai yearning diary slash ryousangata.. ill also list stuff i wanna do, my jp learning journey, sh, and more ok.. it's a blog expect its js me and no more guest messages there..
I NEED MORE COMMISSION ART. I WENT ON FUCKING EVERSKIES DUDE. RENTRY URLS WTV TAKE THEM FROM ME THE SAME FIVE ARTISTS THE SAME FUCKING FIVE ARTISTS THE RENTRY SERVERS HAVE THE SAME FUCKING ARTISTS.. sigh. i need to lock in.. im gonna trade urls for robux to expand my horizon of artists ok.
7/20/25
hi i wanna keep track of the mangas i read (small ones specifically.. ok? not like oh aot tr or smth im talking smth not as mainstream and dpesnt have a big fandom)
- tomorrow, i'll be someone's girlfriend
- i love your cruddy
- love and hate and love (Unrequited Love Yuri Anthology)
- i fell in love with the villainess
- yuri is my job!
- love-bullet
- bloom into you
- the moon on a rainy night
- Koushin Koinu ni Koibumi wo
- Shy na Ano Ko ni Natsukaretai
- i love you, please reject me!
- The Anemone Feels the Heat
- 5 seconds before the witch falls in love
- metamorphosis
- run away with me, girl
- hoshikuzu no oujisama
- perfect glitter
- poison sugar cookie
- my girlfriend is devilishly sweet
- killer in love
- normality and monsters
- that girl is cute but dangerous
- boyish girl x gyaru
- hanamonogatori
- destroy it all and love me in hell
- killing me!
- the vampire miku
- noa senpai wa tomodatchi
- Fall in Love, You False Angels
- my girlfriend is not here today
- oyasumi pun pun
<- kazuyu β‘
me if u even car.. i wanna try smoking or drugs at least once b4 i die ok
kokoa omg id kill for her too im ngl
no i fucking wouldnt i wish he drove off that cliff w her ts pmo
alright, let's talk about this. i dont know but i feel like i had rlly high expectations bc of all the glaze online and the beginning? its not the story its that i feel like the ending was a bit botched? yes ryuto was a bit of a dumbass but he did realize it.. i cant rlly feel bad for him but he did get capital punishment so. Kokoa was supposed to khs but then got a notif and js threw her phone at the sea and?? walked off??? sigh i cant feel bad for kokoa either, like yes her backstory was sad but that doesnt make her any good of a person. explains? yes. excuses? sybau. i just love this type of character though, the one that makes u feel strong emotions, whether it's hate or not. Kokoa Yoshizaki, Airi Sezaki, Yua Takahashi, Sato Matsuzaka.. they all have something in common, i think you shouldve figured this one out π©· mmm i wanna read more manga but killer in love is enough for today. took me about 2 hours and a half to finish it. would i recommend it? yes!! i think it's a solid 7.5 out of 10 do of that what you will
visual novels
- lost between the lines
js wanna say that i fucking love a girl adrift cuz wym it has an actual fandom wodeifrhrbt I ALSO REMEMBER BISTRO HEROES AND GIRL ALONE OH YM GOD. 11-12 year old me knew what was up. i remember the food in bistro heroes looked so fucking good omg
um i also fucking replayed lily's day off and its hot ass
karaoke soon
7/21/25
MY FUCKING YURIIII
kira's so cuteertete.. KAZUYUCODEDH YM GOD SYBAU
7/22/25
IM COVNUSLSIGJ EOUFHB
7/23/25
GUESS WHAT DAWG I GOT MY PHONE BACK. h. This is yu on phone.. nya. Its still slow but wvtv better than noth
Going to Malaysia too ig...
7/24/25
Writing this entry on the plane on my phone ok.i like the thank u Sri Lankan hand thingy π
Watch Saudi takewondo smth later OK
Omfg I was so not ready.. like yes I was the swaggiest nigga in dammam airport but omg. I saw a lot of juzz, kuzz and cuzz (Japanese, Korean and chinese) huzz oh ymg ofodjssowdhshsh digh can wait to take that thing offff
Js so yk I eouldnt mind working a job from 7 am to 5 pm, pay check to paycheck π and then make it out like 2 or 3 years later vro ππ my mom was trying to scare me vy saying she will make me live with my aunt in πͺπ¬Β if I'm not the best at school and that I sag I rebuke ts
7/26/25
can you stop sexualizing me im bwgging youre my fucking dad oh ym god
Literally nothing good comes out of loving a human I fucking hate u ur all disgusting I hope we all die today I hyperventilated and its all ur fault
not my fucking fault u can raise ur retarded Don stop looking Sr me like its my fault fucking die
things I want done by the end of the year:
- good enough to do comms
- know jp enough to read manga
- close friends only yumeship server
- kazutora plushies!!!
- make actual friends who gaf
- commission artists
- switch from igcse to sat
- out do Mato
- have my own rentry resource thingy
-more to be added-