I have never led an easy life. For the longest time that I can recall, I didn't get a lot of chances to be anything remotely close to truly happy. It's almost always a never ending struggle to press on in this ceaseless storm.
I never know who I can or can't trust until it is too late. The closer you grow with someone, the more vulnerable you become to them. You are at their absolute mercy, hoping that they don't toss you away.
One day, in my stupor, one of the few people I could trust gave me a gift. He knew that I spent any chance I could to escape from this world, even if it was a momentary distraction. Because it was there where I felt the safest.
He presented me with a cartridge and one of his most prized positions, a Sega Genesis. When I asked him why he was handing these things to me, he said that he wanted to give me something to commemorate our friendship.
He seemed chipper then how he usually acted, since he was mostly in a similar boat as I was. Walking out with a spring on his feet, I set up the console and booted up the game.
The cartridge was a game I knew very well, Sonic the Hedgehog 2. I used to play it a lot when I was younger and full of more innocence. Something I wish I still had now all these years later.
Playing it again after so long brought me a sense of comfort I hadn't felt in a while. It even seemed like Sonic and Tails were personally happy to see me again, their smiles beaming in the title screen.
I was blitzing through the game, feeling satisfied for every badniks I was able to smash. The animals inside gleamed with pure joy, finally free from their cages. It made me want to make sure I am able to do that with every badnik I see.
When I had got to Eggman himself in each zone, he didn't feel like the same scheming doctor that always cursed that meddling hedgehog who ruined his plans. Instead, he seemed over the moon to face me every chance we got. As if he was satisfied with me freeing all of those lives and wanted me to keep going.
I couldn't look away from the game. I didn't WANT to look away from it. My worries were melting away the more time I spent with them.
All of the pain, sadness, and anger in my soul was being washed away. I wanted more of it. I wanted to be clean. I want to live a life of love and nothing else... No more pain, no more regret.
The smile on my face only grew more and more with each zoned being cleared. My mind egging me on to keep pushing forward. Why would I want to stop now? To go back to the life I once had and spent every waking moment questioning why I should continue?
Eventually, I finished the game. I defeated Eggman and saw the animals fly with Sonic & Tails. They all looked at me with such thankfulness in their eyes...
I knew then and there, that I finally had a motivation in my life. I unplugged the system and took the cartridge with me so I can share it with other people I care for too.
I walk with clarity now, with nothing holding me back. People looked at me funny because of how large I was smiling, but I didn't care. Because I know that they will experience it too.
I'll make sure that they do. I'll make sure that they ALL know what it is like to have this feeling.
This world and all its inhabitants are all so... lovely.