dnt even know whos gonna read this but i dont feel real at all. i genuinely feel like a simulation, either that or everything around me feels like a simulation. almost nothing can truly keep me 'grounded' anymore actually absolutely nothing can. i dont know what to do but all i am doing is temporarily distracting myself by poisoning myself with nicotine and medicine and thats all i can probably do. i dont know why im like this but its either my own fault or everybody elses. or both. i dont know at least i have lana del rey