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20.06 — Sick Day
I had to miss school today; I was extremely sick. My FP has been trying to prevent me from getting sick, and I still managed. It’s just a cold, but I feel like death. Due to my illnesses, sicknesses are ×10 worse for me. She bought me heat packets, healthy snacks, teas and gave me an umbrella.

I did some work today! I'm nearly done with my 9 paged report and a 6-paged report. Both are due Tuesday next week, and the draft for my 22-paged assignment is due Thursday. I'm nearly done this term! Then I need to focus on exams. Most of my assignments next term are worth 50% of my grade for each class; they're all extremely long.

My last class—eugh—is a group assignment. We need to code a functioning app, but the app we need doesn't work on a lot of people's laptops, including mine. We also have never used this app, so all the codes are new. I was able to write my code and email it to my friend; hopefully, we can work it out on his laptop.

So, my goal for this weekend is to finish CoE, Danganronpa 2, two reports, six drawings, and four blogs 😰. My brother also wants to play two new games: one is called Boku no Saiai no—it's basically codependency yaoi with a medical twist! Very me core ^-^—and Touqi Guaitan, more gay medicore... more me core... #bless!

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21.06 — Productive Day
I am finally able to move around! Today was extremely productive: I cooked, cleaned my room, nearly completed Danganronpa 2 & CoE, and sorted my new bed out! I also finished one of my reports late last night—only three more to go! I'm really happy with my new bed. There's a few reasons why I bought a new one: my ex-girlfriend and I broke two different parts of it during one of our dates, and Caroline said it could be good for me. Rotting in a bed I nearly died in wasn't good for me, and someone else wanted the bed! It took three hours, but I got there. I also got a new mattress—I feel like I'm sleeping on a cloud ☁️.

I was banned recently on Spring due to my stalkers reporting a mistake, I apologized to the person who I harmed privately, it offered to help me get unbanned, but I was told about a new Spring-like website. It's pretty quiet, so I'm having fun. My brother and I started Touqi Guaitan. It was... something. We started at 12 a.m., so I was already tired, but the game was originally Chinese, so we are playing a translated version. The text boxes are red, so I was struggling to read it. Lulu started reading it out loud for me, but he's dyslexic and has a habit of stopping mid-sentence to start on a rant, so I ended up zoning out... We have to start again, I fear.

I have been feeling better and better recently, but there are things frustrating me a lot lately. I also worked on a decor list with ideas. I don't find making rentries fun anymore, so I commission my friend a lot (thank you, Hari).

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22.06 — Sunday Night
Sigh! Sunday is finally coming to an end. I wasn't that productive today; a few things happened that just frustrated me, and I ended up zoning out. I have everything prepared for school tomorrow. I also finished Danganronpa 2, and I'm nearly done with CoE. I have a plan for another blog, and I'm working through my report—I completed it, I just need to work through the feedback. As I'm writing this, I've completed 3/10 of the feedback.

I need an outlet soon, or I may have a meltdown. This is where my masochistic tendencies come into play; I am thinking about getting my tongue repierced. I heard getting it redone is more painful than the first time, but it will only hurt for a week or two. I would also not be allowed to smoke until it's healed, which would take a couple of months, but it will help me for a short while. I didn't really enjoy it the first time—I had a lisp due to it and other personal problems.

I have a tendency of zoning out while doing these things. I pick at my lips until they bleed, pick at my face and nails, so I need something to distract me.

ANYWAY! My goal for this week is to complete my 22-page assignment. I still need to draw for it, complete one of the PowerPoints for my coding class (it needs a 5-minute recording), my psychology report, and finish Totono and Saihate Station! Busy, busy week. Two more weeks of school before my holidays—it's only for two weeks, but I will be studying for exams and working.

Anyway, I need to start my three sketches, then I have to do three concept drawings, and one of them will be my final.

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23.06 — Back To School
Today was a good day! I finished my psychology report AND CoE! I need to focus on my art really badly—I just need to sketch for it and write about them, but I keep forgetting. I'll do it soon, maybe after this daily update.

My FP was away today :{ I really missed her. We want to do a matching page on /Layze soon, but she really likes Haris’ work, so I'll wait for his commissions to reopen again.

I also restarted Danganronpa 3. I really like Miu so far; the game graphics are really improved since the second game. It's definitely a lot harder, but I'm having fun!

My classes were really easy today, and I even got to leave early! I went to my city and caught the train back to my place. I went to the shops a couple of hours ago since I've been needing something spicy. I feel super fixated on spicy food currently—I'm not too sure why.

While I was out, I decided to visit my abuser’s place. I'm allowed there since he's the father of my sisters and he's currently at my place, but it was so strange going back there. I left on the 1st of June last year and never went back. It felt so strange walking through that door; it was still a disgusting house, it was trashed.

I would have to help clean and make sure my sisters were eating enough. I think that's why I struggle with food now—I always made sure they were full, even if they wanted my food. My ex-FP also added to that struggle, but I'm trying to fix my habits. It's hard with my illnesses, but we learn as we grow!
I really need to work on my art now...

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24.06 — Future Plans
I'm currently freezing... it's so cold in Australia; I am shivering as I write. I submitted my psychology and my other report. I have been avoiding art a lot. I did 1.5 sketches yesterday night. My FP was here today! I missed her so much—we spent the morning together.

I have been thinking about moving out soon, and so is she. So, we have decided to work on a plan: after we graduate, we plan to move into an apartment in our city to go to university and work. We have found a really good place, and it's really cheap! Our graduation day is the 17th of November, and after that, we will be working full-time until January. We are both planning to go to the same university and study nursing. We both want to explore different paths after that. She wants to do something with art, but it's not a guarantee she'll get a job, so she wants to do it as a hobby. I did want to study nursing, but I want to focus on psychology—the full degree is three years as a full-time student. So, I want to get maybe two or three degrees.

But during November to January, we will be working full-time to afford the bond and stuff for the place. The class starts in February. She wants to go on payments after that, but I may continue working since it would be a higher income. The housing prices in Australia are bad; however, they have been getting better more recently. If I stay in the apartment for a few years and work hard, I can afford the down payment! >->

Her boyfriend also mentioned coming to our city to study, since our universities are well-known. We have mentioned staying in the apartment with us (with clear communication!), since we would be able to split the rent three ways. "It's not that easy living with a friend." I know! That's why we are living in a decent-sized place, and we will both be adults, so we will be able to go out or do anything we need when we need alone time.

"Why are you both moving out at 18?" Both of our living situations aren't the best. We both sacrificed our lives for our sisters, and now it's time to let that go. It's time for us to grow.

On a less personal note, I played "Boku no Saiai no." It was a good short novel—I enjoyed it; it was very me-core!

— im still craving spicy food:{
— UPDATE !! I FINISHED 4/6 OF MY DRAWINGS YAY!
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25.06 — Sleep vs Art
I had a really early day today! I finished at 1:05 p.m. I had double Psychology and double Digital today, so it was pretty simple. I finished my Psychology work, so I was just playing Totono. For my Digital class, I was designing the app we have to make! It's a group assignment, but I can't use the app, so my group members said I could just design everything.

After my classes, I went to the city and bought some sushi. ALSO!! I finished 4/6 of my art pieces! Only two more to go. The draft is due tomorrow, so if I draw two more and use one as my final, I can paint tomorrow in class.

Update: I ended up falling asleep at 5 p.m. I was in the middle of doing one of my drawings. I was extremely tired, so I just crashed. I've kind of been on autopilot for most of this week, which resulted in me staying up late. My sleep yesterday was from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m., so I guess that makes sense. I keep forgetting about meals—ugh.

I started playing MiSide; honestly, I have no idea what's going on anymore, and it's not really my type of game. I also restarted Sally Face, which I have been avoiding for a while due to some personal issues. I'm still trying to finish Totono this week—hopefully, I will. There isn't much else to note. I might blog a bit later if I don't fall back asleep.

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26.06 —
I have no will to live today gimme a sec.
I submitted my art draft 17/22 pages complete with 5k words.

Report final tomorrow > finish art over weekend > paint final on Monday + statement > complete powerpoint 1 for digital + finish the app design 2/6 Tuesday & Wednesday > New psychology report Thursday & Friday.

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30.06 — Super Tired!
I felt extremely drained last week, needing to work on five different assignments. At least two of them are completed, and I also had to deal with people in my social life. I recently got into a disagreement with some friends. I love PDA—holding their hands, going on dates, and spending time together. One of my friends asked why I don't kiss him, and I simply said I wasn't comfortable with him to that level. He got extremely upset with me; I only really kiss him FP.

I was also cornered by another friend, asking why I had blocked him. I basically ignored him, but this is the second time he's cornered me. Simply put, he was becoming friends with my abusers and would speak about them. I didn't want to hear it, so I blocked him and haven't spoken to him. He knows what they did to me and still became friends with them.

I believe the stalking has calmed down a bit, thankfully. I have started exploring more online social groups, meeting new people, and getting back into my games. Though this week is going to be extremely difficult for me—my father's ex is moving out, but she's taking all the animals with her, including my cat. She's refusing to let them stay due to my father. They were also raised together, so it's not fair to separate them.

My friends have been taking good care of me so I stay afloat. I've been a bit depressed recently; I ended up not eating much last week, so I need to fix that soon. I still have my art to do. I finished 6 out of 10 drawings—three of them need watercolour, so I need to wait until tomorrow, and the last one is my final. I do wish to complete Totono this week; I'm nearly done. This week, I'll be focused on my art, games, and recovery.

We also had some universities come to our school today. I've decided to go into Nursing (hopefully)! I want to get two degrees: one in nursing and one in psychology. I want to continue helping people.

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