The wrath quietly pulses inside your head. A voiceless echo bouncing under your skull. You stare down at the crumbled photo in your hand.

A reflection of a face like yours stares back at you. Its usual smoothness is gone. Someone out of frame is holding the limp figure up by the hair. Streaks of crimson from a busted brow ridge paint his right side. The eyes which usually stare at you with a mix of disapproval and worry are swollen nearly shut. You flip the Polaroid over once again.

"If you don't want to become an only child, come."

The simple message is accompanied by an address. A warehouse in some bumfuck nowhere, the same one that's on the bus' rollsign. The wait is killing you, but there is nothing you can do. Your eyes just continue to drill a hole in the plasticky paper as you imagine what you'll do to those bastards once you catch them.

The sun is starting to set as you step out. First thing you do is grab a map of the local area from a nearby kiosk. It's hard to make heads or tails of it over the angry shouting of the shopkeeper, so you silence him with a glare.

But then another voice interrupts you.

"You can't just take stuff without paying, mate." It's a boy around your age. "Shopkeep works hard to make a living," you consider headbutting him, "gotta respect his effort," you step closer to do so. "How about I show you around instead?"

that's it so far

I've went with second person narration to try to switch stuff up a bit in this attempt. It didn"t help.
It feels too exposition heavy.
I struggle to introduce Shu properly. I can't come up with a good idea to display his charisma.
Not that much of a spoiler considering the summary is in his bio, but after somehow I get Shu to convince Ran to agree to show him the way (but reluctantly, telling him to stay out of his way one they get there), they find the yakuza there. A brawl ensues but whole Ran starts to deal with tge more minion like part, the head goon instead targets his brother. Ran leaps to protect him with his own brother and gets knocked down. Despite him being tough, the boys feel unnaturally strong. The gangster continues to whale on Ran who is just trying to protect his brother. Shu steps in (he either just respected the promise to stay out of it until this point, or he even stayed outside, not sure ehich would fit more). Turns out, the goon was under effect of the supernatural. Consumed I think? Im not great with his those things are exactly supposed to work. Anyway, zona obscure or whatever opens. Shu transforms and invites Ran to join him. Ran awakens. Together they beat the nightmare. Some sort wrap up with Ran going to his brother. Maybe quick mention of how Ran and Shu are supposed go to school together, or another scene after a timeskip with Ran visiting the hospital.