I’m not sure how long I have been here. I’m not sure when I woke up or if I am even awake. I feel like I’m floating in space, but I can tell I’m in some sort of pool and it’s very dark. Trying to move my body around feels pointless as soft binds wrapped around my wrists hold them in place and the buoyancy of my body in this water stops me from getting any proper movement besides surface thrashing. I hear the water splash around, some of it hitting my face and running into my nose causing an intense burning sensation. Salt water. Even saltier than the sea I went to a few years back. I think that means I’m in one of those deprivation tanks, but I don’t remember owning one or going anywhere to use one.

“Hello? I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m done now”, I said out loud, hoping that if I was in some facility that an attendant would hear my plea and come to help.

No one came. I’m not sure how long ago I said that and the quiet and stillness of the tank is starting to make me wonder if I even said it or just imagined I did. I tried turning my head to the side to get a better look at my restraints despite the pitch blackness of the tank, but I found myself restricted by some sort of neck floatation device. I assume it was put there so I don’t turn my head and accidentally drown myself if I were to fall asleep. Feeling the quiet gnaw on me, I began to hear my own heartbeat inside of my chest, the rhythmic thumps seeming deafening inside the chamber. I yearned for something else to hear instead.

“Hello! Please! I want to get out now!”, screaming in a moment of terror as I wondered if I put myself here and never told anyone. A more alarming notion came to my attention in that I felt no reverb from my yell. The chamber was anechoic. I couldn’t hear the outside world… and the outside world may not ever be able to hear me. Terror began to grip my heart as the thought of dying alone, in the suspended quiet dark of this chamber seemed more and more likely. Already starting to forget how long ago my plea for help was. A minute? An hour? With no sense of time besides my droning heart beat I found it hard to tell. I think I was at sixty beats now, but I was so busy counting I forgot to think about the tempo and trying to remember the tempo made me forget which beat I was on. I left it at seventy-four, right?

I think more time passes. I’m not sure anymore. Have I ever been sure though? Am I in a lucid dream or is this all happening? For a brief moment I thought that this must be like what Helen Keller experiences. The thought elicits a quick chuckle before I panic at the thought that I may actually be blind, deaf, and mute. The panic passes as I remember quickly that I have seen things before, I remember the beach, I remember my family and friends, my girlfriend, my old stuffed bear my mother gave me with it’s black fur and glistening eyes. So why can’t I see right now? Is it because the chamber is pitch black or did I become blind and suppress that fact?

“Ahhhhhh, goddamnit, fuck!”, I screamed as loudly as I could. The fear and confusion driving my voice to the point my throat hurt. My ears hurt slightly as well, a dull fading ringing letting me know I can really hear and that my voice is still there. The relief I felt in that moment was exuberant. I almost felt tears well up by the gladness I had to know I still had my senses. Stifling a weak laugh, I felt my body tense as I heard a thud in front of me, seemingly close by. My eyes shift wildly to where I think forward is as I hear the tell-tale sound of metal on metal as some sort of mechanism is shifted and the sound of rubber pulling away from a surface. A thin ray of light slips through the crevice as my eyes squint from the too bright light filling my vision. The ray expands until it is a rectangular shaped opening, the world beyond it seeming a stark, formless white compared to the dark interior I float in. A halted breath fills the moment as my eyes partially adjust and a figure moves into view. The white backdrop framing their form into a sharp silhouette.

“Oh, dear. Looks like someone spent too much time in the tank again.”, the voice croons at me dripping with a sultry nature I’ve never heard before. The figure moves slightly on one side and I hear a switch flipping. Suddenly, a set of lights illuminate the water beneath me, basking the once dark container with a bright blue glow. With some light hitting the unknown figure’s face from the inside of the tank now, I’m able to properly see the woman, or she-beast, that is my impromptu rescuer. Where once I only saw a formless figure, I now see the face of someone eerily familiar but in a way that won’t materialize to my mind. Her eyes draw my attention first with their piercing blue irises housing a pitch black dot that scans my body intensely. I then notice how they are set back from the mouth, or muzzle I suppose, which is currently showing off a dazzling array of teeth. All shining and all very sharp. Her face is turned into what I can only assume to be an elated grin, but the loving intention of it seems misplaced for a supposed employee of some spa. Not to mention the placement of scars across one of her eyes and her muzzle adding an additional aggressive intensity on top. The triangular ears perched upon her head seemed fixated on me, the downy tuft coming out of them framed by the grey fur covering every part of her body. The fur that is rippled around her neck seems to stem from the top and back of her head, her fur lengthier in that area to create a mane that serves the function of human hair. It is grey like the rest of her, but from the sheen I can tell that it is likely of a softer quality.

“What is this place. Who are you?” I ask the nameless woman.

“What a silly question, darling. I think all that meditation time in there is starting to take a toll on your mind. We’re at home, remember? It’s me, Erica.” The wolfess continues her pleasant smile, assuming that her answers would add clarity to my mind when it only served to make me more confused. I don’t remember owning a deprivation tank and I’m pretty sure I don’t know anyone named Erica.

“This can’t be my home… this is a joke right? Like something the staff pulls on new guests.”

Erica’s head cocks to the side and her brow furrows into confusion before she goes into a sly grin. “Oh, I see, you’re the one trying to pull a prank on me, huh? I gotta say you got me for a second there, but you can’t fool the girlfriend you love, Sam.”

Feeling even more confused and tense I calmly say, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but my girlfriend’s name is Bethany and she is a human. My home is an apartment which certainly wouldn’t accommodate this tank so I must be at a spa, right?”

Erica drops the smile for a moment and I see a very subtle twitch in the corner of her mouth at the utterance of my girlfriend’s name. It quickly turns to a frown and a look of worry splashes her face as she puts her hand through the doorway and runs the back of it across your face before turning it to cup my cheek. “Oh, dear. It seems your memory really is acting up, huh? Let’s get you out of that tank. There are some things I need to share with you… again.”

Still confused about the whole situation, I’m glad at the thought of being freed from my sensory prison. Erica moves her other arm in and begins to release the restraints on my wrists and undoes the floater around my neck. She moves one hand behind my neck and the other on the side of my torso and pulls me towards the entrance of the tank. I use one hand to grab her forearm, feeling an in-compressible series of muscles flexing underneath, and use the leverage to pull myself out of the tank. Finally on my own two feet again, I notice that my stance is weak and that I have trouble staying upright. It feels like I haven’t used my legs much in a long while. I find myself leaning against Erica who seems all too happily to hold me against her form. It was only after steadying myself did I come to realize just how diminutive my stature was in comparison. Standing at roughly seven feet tall, she eclipsed my height by a solid fourteen inches. Her frame was also much wider and more built than me considering her being a wolfess. The muscles inserted across her body were taut in every place my body touched. The fear I would find myself experiencing at her intimidating form is slightly alleviated by the gentle nature of her touch. Never so tight to cause any pain anywhere, but firm enough so that I know I have no risk of falling if my legs were to give out.

Her clothing struck me as surprising considering the powerful form she possessed. A set of jean shorts wrapped themselves around her lower half, giving attention to her strong thighs and adding a primalness with their slightly shredded appearance. Her upper half was covered with a loose, low hanging blouse that seemed baggy around her mid section, but snug around her chest which emphasized just how sizable her bust was. A pair of large breasts seated themselves underneath the blouse, looking proportionally normal considering her large frame, but would put any human woman to shame.

Erica helps me hobble over to a nearby chair and sets me down before moving back towards the tank and grabbing a towel that was dropped over the top. The sashaying of her body seeming intentional and deliberate as she goes. I notice her pause for a second, back facing me, as she kneads the towel in her hands, her tail doing sensuous swishing motions that seem to beckon appreciation of her large and tight looking rear. Satisfied with the towel, she also grabs an additional object on top of the tank and moves back over to me, draping the towel around my shoulder before moving to sit down in a chair across from me.

“So, what is it that you said you needed to share with me? And what do you mean again?” I say to her, clutching the towel around my now cold form.

Erica takes a deep sigh as she leans forward and gives me a weary smile. “Here, take this. It’s better if you see the reality of it for yourself.” She then hands over a small mirror to me, motioning for me to take a look at myself.

The reflection that greets me when I raise the mirror up is one I fail to recognize. My face is riddled with faded cuts and scratches. Hair longer than I remember it being, reaching past my ears now in a tangled wet pile. Bruises and some gauze also present themselves along my forehead and around my forehead. I lower my head and see the rest of my body, taking in the extent of my unremembered trauma. The same series of faded cuts and scratches scattered everywhere. I don’t remember when any of these injuries happened, but apparently it was a while ago considering my weakened musculature and gaunt appearance.

“You were in an accident, baby.”, Erica says, appearing next to me without my noticing “You were driving away from our house when you went off the road and down the hill into a tree and went into a short coma. The doctors said it was a miracle you survived, but that you suffered a severe traumatic brain injury and that you’ll likely have post-concussion syndrome after you wake up. Looks like that was a good assumption if you’re forgetting the girlfriend you love for the second time already.”

That can’t be right. I mean it seems likely I was in some sort of accident judging by my appearance, but this girl can’t be my girlfriend. Bethany is my girlfriend and I don’t remember us being on that bad of terms. “I’m sorry, this just can’t be true. I have no memory of you. How could I remember Bethany and my friends and family, but forget about you and what do you mean the second time?”

“It’s been almost a month since the accident. You came around from the coma pretty quickly and I’ve been taking care of and helping you recover up until you asked me to put you in the tank again. You’ve been going in it regularly to see if the sensory deprivation would help you visualize your memories better. I guess being in there for too long this time kinda loosened all that progress we made. I talked with specialists and they said these types of memory losses aren’t common and that people you have long histories with tend to have more permanence in your mind. Especially Bethany. She did a real number on you.” Erica says with a saddened expression as she places one of her hands on my thigh, rubbing slowly and tenderly.

“What are you talking about?” I ask tentatively.

“Your ex-girlfriend, Bethany, nearly ruined your life. She introduced you to drugs, heavy alcohol use, spread lies to your friends and family, and abused you all sorts of other ways. By the time we met, I thought you were a terminal patient with how ragged you looked.” Erica’s eyes welled up for a second before she wiped away the tears on her cheeks with a finger. “I’m sorry, I just get so upset thinking about how you were back then. I don’t know how much longer you would have lasted if I hadn’t helped you out of that awful place. But, I found you and now we are in love, even if you can’t remember me right now. You will. You love me too much to forget and if I didn’t walk away then I sure won’t now.” She cups my face with that last sentence, rubbing her furry thumb across my cheek.

I stare intensely at her, searching for the truth in her eyes and seeing only genuine concern and affection for me staring back. I’m struggling to see how this all makes sense. Could I really have been so injured to forget someone who loves me as much as she claims? Could I really forget someone who I love as much as she claims? Before I could really ruminate on the matter more, my eyes felt a sharp pain as the brightness of the room we were in suddenly seemed too much and my head began to throb.

“Hey, I’m sorry, but I think I need to lie down for a bit. This is a lot to take in and my head hurts. Is there a bed I can sleep in?” I say, using one hand to rub the pain out of one of my temples.

“Of course, here, let me take you to our room.”

I try to stand up on my own and have her walk me to the place where we allegedly sleep, but I find my footing to be weak.

“Hey, don’t worry, I’ll carry you.”

Before I can properly protest, I feel my legs scooped up under me and I’m suddenly held aloft by Erica with an arm under my knees and a hand on the back of my head, pushing me towards her chest. She moves in a gentle fashion, careful to prevent me from hitting any door frames or other hazards I’m unable to see due to my current vantage point. The journey to the room takes a short time despite her cautious gait, all the while my vision is filled by her soft chest while my squinted eyes work to try and reduce the pain from the all too bright lights. My current position also had me take in the smell of her with every breath. A faintly lemon smell with a strong undercurrent of her musk. Not sure if it was due to some exertion she performed before getting me out of the tank or if she just naturally smelled that strongly. Either way, it wasn’t wholly unpleasant and I found myself more relaxed in her arms with every step.

Arriving inside the bedroom, Erica set me down to my feet and walked me to my bed, letting me hold on to her arm for support but allowing me the agency to make my way on my own two feet. After settling into the bed, she looked me over once before leaning down and giving me a surprisingly gentle and slow kiss on the side of the cheek before walking away to the door and shutting off the light in the room.

“Goodnight, Sam. If you need anything, all you have to do is say my name. I’ll hear my lover anywhere with these ears of mine.” Erica’s ears twitching on her head as she referenced them. With that, she walked into the hallway and pulled the door closed slowly.

With the click of the door, I found myself back to being alone again, but much less panicked knowing that I have free reign to move my body this time and that someone will actually be able to hear and come help me if need be. But, the thoughts of what Erica said are still putting my mind into a frenzy. I saw the proof on my body that some sort of accident had occurred, but I still have trouble believing that we are actually two people dating and in love with one another considering I have only the faintest hint of familiarity with her. Maybe that small hint is what keeps driving me along with her words and actions. I have so many questions to ask her once I wake up, but, for now, I can only find myself drifting off to sleep with the memory of her comforting smell looping in my mind.

“I just don’t understand why you don’t want to come with me to hang out with my friends.”, she says. Who is this woman? She’s so familiar

“Because, all they want to do is get high or drink. I can’t remember the last time, if ever, that we hung out with them without doing that. I just want to be sober. That’s all.”

“Okay, fine, whatever. You used to enjoy doing it too, you know. All of a sudden you can’t seem to get off your pedestal.” Was it a C? Maybe an A? I just can’t think of it.

“Yeah and a fat lot of good that’s done for me! I feel like a bigger loser than ever!” Is that me yelling? When did this happen?

“Don’t you dare fucking yell at me. You want to act shitty, then go do it somewhere else.” Beth? Annabelle? Beth-any? Yes, Bethany, my girlfriend. Or is she my ex-girlfriend? Why can’t I feel confident about it?

“Alright, I’m going, then. Go have fun without me.” I say back to her as I move to the door, pulling it open and having a wall of milky darkness erupt forth and envelope me.

I open up my eyes rapidly and try to take in my surroundings, but it’s black everywhere I look. No. No, no, no, I can’t still be in that fucking tank. There is no way I just imagined everything. I feel my chest tighten like an anvil was crushing it and my limbs start to thrash, but a furry feeling mass in front of me prevents me from moving around too much.

I feel that mass pull away from my face and a pair of hands grab both of my upper arms and hold me still as a pair of vividly blue eyes lock on with my own. “Sam, Sam! Calm down, okay. It’s me, it’s Erica. You’re safe, you’re in our bed.”

Erica? Yeah, my girlfriend. No. No, wait, that’s Bethany, right? Ah, why am I not sure?

“Erica? You-you’re real, right?,” She nods at me “I thought I was still in that tank, it was so dark when I opened my eyes and-”

“Shhh, it’s okay. I just came in the room after you fell asleep and you were shivering so hard. So, I got on the bed and wrapped around you. Oh, you just relaxed so quickly and calmly that I couldn’t help but fall asleep with you.” One of her hands detaches from my arm and cups the side of my face. Holding me there as she places a gentle kiss on my forehead. The sensation zaps away the tension I was holding in my muscles and my lungs exhale the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

Erica pushes herself up on her elbow, looking down at me with the eyes I know belong to a predator, but that contain nothing but an unrelenting river of affection. “How about I go downstairs and get started on breakfast and you get dressed and come down when you’re ready?”

“Okay.”

With that, she gets up and saunters off to the door, no longer wearing that low hanging blouse and short pair of jean shorts. Instead, she has on a t-shirt that is too big, even on her, lazily hanging past her torso and stopping midway down her thighs. The lower half of her thighs are covered by a soft looking pair of sleeping shorts, the material looser than usual to accommodate the tossing and turning of slumber. She opens up the door, tossing me back a quick grin that carries a strong cheeky attitude and exits, leaving the door partially ajar.

Now fully awake and alone in the room, I’m noticing that it’s much darker than I would have expected it to be, probably due to the fact that her superior vision allows her to operate in a lower light environment than me. Looking around, I see the plain bedside lamp to my side and pull the switch to turn it on. The room now awash with light, I take in the details of the place we apparently share. The room seems rather rustic in appearance. All of the furniture and the walls take on a look that he would expect to find in a mountainous countryside. A sizable closet is off to the left of the bed and a spacious bathroom with a hot tub can be found to the right, with a modest television anchored to the wall just next to the bathroom door.

Pulling the covers off, I move to stand up and stretch, feeling the ache of various joints and muscles making their presence known to me. After having made my way to the closet, I noticed that a very simple division of clothing was done to designate whose side was whose. Filing through the clothes on the right, I find various shirts and pants, some I slightly remember having owned and others that seemed almost out of my personal style. Maybe in that time I was with Erica I found myself drawn to buying different types of clothes? I file it away as another in a long series of questions I plan on asking her before grabbing a more familiar set of clothes, a plain white t-shirt and some blue denim pants.

Underneath the hanging clothes inside the closet I notice an assuming dresser that housed the socks and undergarments. Grabbing a pair of socks and underwear, I dress and make my way out of the room, feeling the shaky nature of each step as if an invisible force is pressing down on my shoulders to make me collapse. Checking out the hallway, I find it’s actually exposed and a banister overlooks the downstairs living room and dining room. The rustic atmosphere in the bedroom was certainly appropriate as I found myself facing a set of floor to ceiling windows giving me a clear view out into the pristine countryside. Various mountains of forestry stretching out to as far as I could see.

Part of me wonders how I would have ended up being okay with living in this type of environment. While, granted, I did find these places pleasant to visit, but as someone so enraptured with technology and convenience, the isolation seems almost out of character for me. Heading down the stairs, I turn and round the safety rail, passing through the living room and head for the kitchen where I see Erica finishing up breakfast, her ears twitching as I approach. She turns around, pan of bacon in hand, greeting me with that same level of adoration and tenderness she’s shown since I first saw her opening the door of the deprivation tank.

“Good timing, I just finished the bacon and the eggs are at the table. Go on, have a seat.” She motioned with the pan to the dining table where I spotted two plates with silverware across from each other, eggs already placed on both with, what I assume to be, her plate holding the lion’s, or wolf’s in this case, share of the eggs. She makes her way over with the bacon on a third plate and places a portion on mine and the rest on hers.

“Thank you for breakfast.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, love. Just eat up. Need the energy if you want to heal.”

We eat in silence for a few minutes. I notice that every time I look up at her, she is staring back at me, soaking in my haggard body with an intensity becoming of her predacious species, but without any of the typically accompanying malice. Like always, it’s just affection. As if she was some art collector who finally acquired a long sought after work of art. I have no idea what I must have done to make her so infatuated, but it slightly unsettles me due to my inability to reciprocate even a fraction of those emotions. I suppose now might be a good time to ask her some of the questions that have been on my mind.

“So, Erica.”

“Yes, dear?”

“How long have we been living out here?”

“Right after we got together. The lease on your apartment was ending and you said that if you could put yourself in a new environment, maybe you could make progress on making positive changes in your life. I proposed we have a celebration meal here and you asked me if you could move in and I said yes.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah, it does sound strange, doesn’t it? But that night was very special. We had a nice meal and you pushed for sharing some drinks. I wasn’t on board at first because I know your problem with alcohol, but I relented when you said it was just to celebrate and you were only going to do it on special occassions. We shared some spirits to raise our own and one thing led to another and we finally made love. Then you called your girlfriend to end things and said you were going to go get your stuff from her place and yours and start packing so we could start our lives together. That’s… that’s when the accident happened.” Erica’s expression took on a more solemn appearance. Her face still smiling, but with a pained empathic look and her tail becoming still and down pointed.

“Wait, you’re telling me that we were dating in secret up until the accident? I cheated on my girlfriend for three months?”

“No, it wasn’t like that,” Her voice sounded exasperated “we didn’t start off dating or anything, we were just friends and we just got closer and closer and it just happened! I swear, I’m not someone’s mistress or side chick or whatever you want to call it, I wouldn’t do something that bad.”

My appetite had faded by this point as I was coming to terms with what was being told to me. Not only had I emotionally cheated on Bethany, but I also slept with someone else while we were still technically together. Apparently I had acclimated to what I did and resolved to end things with Bethany. I know our relationship was very rocky, but I didn’t know it reached a point where I really was ready to give up on it.

“I… I think I need to call Bethany. I just need her to confirm what you’re telling me. This is…” I grip the bridge of nose and let out a drawn out sigh “This is a lot to take in y’know?”

I see Erica’s dour face worsen as she thinks of what to do next. She silently walks upstairs and into the bedroom for a minute before coming back out with my cell phone.

Taking my cell phone, I walk outside and onto the rear decking of the cabin, the fresh air on my emaciated form feeling quite pleasant and invigorating. The phone’s battery is fully charged and the notifications are recent. I guess I really did lose my memories a second time from being in that deprivation tank. I scroll through the contacts and bring up Bethany’s name, noting the ‘ex’ label that is attributed to contact. I dial the number and wait.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring… “Hello, who is this?” A male voice? Who is this guy?

“Oh, I’m sorry, I must have put in the wrong number, I was looking for Bethany.”

“Yeah, this is her phone number. Again, who are you?”

“I’m Sam, I need to speak to Bethany.”

“Ohhh, so you’re Sam, huh? Yeah, Beth’s told me about you. Heard you were too scared to face her or send your lapdog to come get your shit so she gave it to your friends. Nicer than I would have been that’s for sure.”

“What are you talking about? Who are you anyways?”

“Oh, dude, c’mon, are you really trying to act innocent now? You get your Scooby-Doo to threaten your ex, when she tried to see you at the hospital and now wanna act like it never happened and come crawling back? Guess what? She’s with me now and she ain’t bad so I’m not going to let you come over here and try to manipulate her like before into coming back with you, got it?” The call cut out. I stand there, looking out into the open wilderness, trying to understand what that guy said. She came to visit me and Erica threatened her? And what did he mean manipulate her like before? I never manipulated Bethany… right?

“So, do you believe me now?” Snapping out of my trance, I jerk my head towards the sudden noise and see Erica leaning against the sliding glass door. Either I was really in my head or she should get a job as an assassin.

“Yeah, I guess so. Apparently she sent my stuff to a friend’s place and she already has a new guy with her.” I turn back to look over the expanse of trees, the soft bed of greens coalescing together as if they were patterns on a well knit blanket.

“Yeah, I’m not too surprised. She’s very good at digging her hooks into people, maybe that guy will realize the kind of person she is or maybe he might be the kind of quality she deserves. Either way, that’s not important right now. I know you’re acclimating again to the truth, but just know I love you and I would never harm or lie to you. We’ve just had a strange relationship so our past just looks weird, but,” She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my torso, hugging her body close to me as I keep my eyes fixated on the forest. “You’re the most important person in my life and I’ll always support and protect you, okay.” She turns her head down, placing a soft kiss on my head.

I move one of my bony hands up and place it on her arms. Still with more questions to ask her, especially concerning what Bethany’s new boyfriend mentioned about the hospital, I decide to not ruin the moment by asking her and hold on to those questions for a later time when I have some more facts together. Instead, I lean my head back, resting in her soft, fuzzy chest. Feeling the rhythmic pulsing of her heart.

About two week goes by without much fanfare. Erica helps me with my daily tasks of physical therapy, cooking, and occasional mental activities to ensure my memory isn’t still lapsing. The headaches and other symptoms I’ve been feeling here and there have been decreasing in regularity, but the outpatient packet she received when I was checked out of the hospital said it would be some time until my headaches went away, but they’ll be a more common issue for me than most other people for the rest of my life.

I had her fill me in on more details that transpired during those months leading up to my accident. Sometimes I would get vivid or hazy glimpses at the stories she told me as if they were memories shrouded in fog. I’m still not sure if she is a good storyteller or if she is actually helping dig up memories, but the sights, sounds, and smells that I see within my mind certainly seem like real experiences. She also told me that leading up the accident, I still hadn’t found a job after being let go as a manager from the sporting goods store I used to work at, still working the sporadic ride share or grocery delivery job as a means to pay essentials. Which was another contributing reason to why I wanted to get out of my old place since affording it was becoming a hassle.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you. What do you do for work? I mean, this past week you’ve been with me except for that one grocery run.” I continue trekking through the woods as I talk, moving over the small outcropping of tree roots and using my walking stick to help relieve some of the strain off my aching legs.

“I’m a psychologist, actually. I know. You would think someone as big and intimidating as me would make for a poor candidate to tell your problems, but I think my gentle nature offsets it and makes people even more relaxed. Strong body and strong mind, I guess.” Erica chuckles softly at that last part, looking down at her large furry hands and squeezing them into iron fists before relaxing them.

“Yeah, but can you afford to miss as many days as you have?”

“Oh, well, I actually tend to visit my clients at their homes and they tend to be much wealthier than the average person seeking someone help. I had good connections growing up and throughout my education so I was introduced to the big spenders and the word of mouth just kept me going. You’d be surprised how complicated rich people are. All that money and power, but daddy missing their piano recital still eats away at them. I guess you don’t often get that rich without having some hardship or trauma drive you to that point. I told all my clients that I would be unavailable for the time being so I could focus on taking care of you.”

“Wow, I would have never assumed, but I guess it makes sense. Have any celebrities that I may know as clients?” I say, turning my head over to her to give her a shit eating grin.

“Oh, maybe one or two, but you know I can’t tell you who they are. Doctor patient privilege and all. And if I did, I’d have to kill you to make sure you don’t go blabbing to everyone else.”

“That’s all it would take to kill me, huh? I wouldn’t think Martin Sheen would hire someone who would be so ruthless.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised. Martin is actually a really cut throat guy.” Stifling a laugh, I keep looking at Erica, watching her face contort in the dawning realization about how she slipped up. “…Hey, you tricked me! No fair! The docs said that you shouldn’t be this crafty until you fully healed.”

“I did nothing of the sort, but now that you spilled the beans, I guess you’ll have to kill me, huh?” I lean against a nearby tree, the smugness in my face radiating like the sun as I watch her tap a clawed finger at her chin. Wondering what her next move will be.

“Yeah, I guess so huh,” She strides over to me placing her hands on either side of my head and dipping her head down to whisper in my ear “… I’ll give you a head start of 10 seconds.” She pulls her head back and locks eyes with me, the brilliant ocean blue of her irises radiating a primal focus I haven’t seen before. Oh shit, she isn’t joking. She is really going to chase me.

Ducking out from under her, I start running as fight as I can, but the lack of recent activity in my legs has my gait awkward and inefficient causing me to stumble and nearly fall more times than I liked. Turning my head back, I see Erica standing where I left her, arms crossed in a cocky display as she watches my retreat. She then unfurls her arms and releases a resounding howl before crouching low and running at me at a speed that would put Olympic sprinters to shame. The display overclocking my instincts of fear, I snap my head back forward and try to push my legs past their limits.

I make it a few dozen more feet, hearing the hard crunching of sticks and leaves behind me on top of my ragged breath. Suddenly a hot breath washes down my spine, eliciting a feeling of shock and causing me to misstep resulting in a certainly awkward display of tumbling as I settle on the forest floor. Collecting myself with urgency, I get to my feet and check behind me and then around. The origin of that warm breath being nowhere to be found. Despite knowing she is just playing with me at this point since she could have easily caught me, I move over to a nearby tree and start to climb it in the hopes I’ll at least see her coming and ruin her fun of getting the drop on me.

Dropping my walking stick, I begin my ascent, the climb easier thanks to my reduced weight, but countered by the weakness of neglected arm and leg days. Perching on top of a solid looking branch, I scan the surrounding area, but finding no towering predator in sight. Steadying my breathing, I take in the sights and sounds of the forest. The distant bird calls, gentle rush of the wind as the trees break the air current, and the apparent chirping of a nest of small birds next to me.

Inching a bit closer to the nest, I see a trio of tiny blue birds huddled together and chirping. I just stared at them and their helpless form, feeling a sense of kinship as we both were in a position where we can’t really help ourselves the way we would like. Suddenly, a larger blue bird comes screeching towards me, flapping it’s wings and trying to claw at me as if I was trying to snack on it’s kids. My attempts to shield my face and shoo the bird away removed the stability I had on the limb and I felt myself falling off. The path to the bottom unfortunately not empty and I felt a few branches smack my body, a large one hitting my ribs, on my down. As I waited for the ground to rush up and greet me, I found myself caught by a pair of strong furry arms as me and my savior crash to the ground together.

Groaning in pain and my eyes tightly shut, I’m not able to see my rescuer, but I already know who it was.

“Just what the heck were you thinking going that high?” A voice says above my head. “If I hadn’t run over in time, you would have had a nasty smack on the ground and be back in the hospital again.”

“Says the woman who was just chasing me down to kill me.” I say with a pained breath, clutching my ribs as an echoing pain starts to emanate from within.

“Hey, if I really wanted you dead, I would have let you hit the ground. Now let me help you up, see if your okay.”

Erica gets off me and pulls me up to my feet gently. I lean against a tree as she pats me down methodically. Stopping when a slight press into my ribcage elicits a sudden gasp out of me.

"Yeah, it looks like you really bruised your ribs from the fall. Here let me carry you back home.” Erica moves to pick me up again, but I hold out my hand to stop her.

“It’s fine. I can still walk.”

“Hey, you’re really hurt right now and carrying you is no big deal for me.”

“Yeah, but it’s a big deal for me. If you keep carrying me, how ever will I recover my strength?”

“Are you really wanting to pick this hill to die on? This would be only the second time I’ve had to carry you in as many weeks. You’re still going to recover just fine, but I’m worried about you falling over and hitting your head right now.”

I know she’s right, but I just feel so helpless. Like those birds in the nest. I’m living at her place, she cooks for me most of the time, and she keeps telling me to rest while she does the chores around the house. I appreciate her helping me with my physical therapy and going on hikes with me, but it feels like those are the only times she’ll let me do anything for myself and it just makes me feel so helpless and like a leech. I don’t even know what is to be ‘recovered’ anymore with all her doting. Would she ever let me handle things myself even if I was fully recovered? I just want to get my strength back and start contributing more.

“Hey…,” Erica says, leaning down and putting her eyes level with my own. “I know you want to be able to do things on your own, but there is no shame in asking for help when you need it, okay? Especially not from me. I would never think any less of you.” I nod at her words which brings a small smile to her face as she holds her gaze with me. After nearly two weeks spending time with each other, I’ve been trying to acclimate to the whole situation and getting used to the idea that we are in a relationship. Her constant care and words of affirmation wearing down my hesitancy and now in this moment… she looks so beautiful. The unwavering warmth that she’s showed me battling the embittered self-pity I’ve been allowing myself in my mind. I still need to talk with her and ask her to let me have more agency in my day to day, but right now. I just want to show my appreciation for her efforts and patience.

Putting my hand out, I stroke the soft hairs on her head, following a path to one of her ears as I tenderly caress it between my thumb and forefinger. Her eyes flutter a little bit as she gently bites down on the lower part of her lip. Reacting to my ministrations. With a slow gasp she says, “Hey, what are you do-” Cutting her off, I push my face forward to her lips, placing a deep kiss and moving my hand to the back of her head to push her towards me. I feel her immediately melt into me as what feels like a lifetime of stress washes out of her body, her returning my kiss threefold. As our mouths continued their pleasurable war of attrition, I felt her tongue slip through my lips and explore my mouth with a deft ability. Momentarily surprised by the larger size and length before remembering her wolfess nature. She continues to press forward in her fleshy exploration, wrapping around my own tongue and moving around all parts of my mouth. She then moves her tongue further back and lightly grazes the back of the throat. My accompanying gagging reaction exciting her to attempt to push deeper as her arms wrap around me. It all comes to a sudden stop as her hand grazes one of my bruised ribs and my body flinches in pain. She breaks the kiss and pulls her head back, her hands resting on my shoulder as I try to let the pain pass through me.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry, I hit your rib, didn’t I?” Erica’s says in a panic, her apologetic tone seeped in every word.

“Whew, yeah, you kinda hit it there. But, it’s okay, it just hurts a lot.” I try to give her a cheeky smile to help diffuse any fear that she may have hurt me.

“Okay, now you really need to let me carry you to make up for it.”

“It’s fine, Erica. Really. I got lost in the moment too. How about you just let me hold on to your arm as we walk back?”

“Okay. But, if you’re legs give out even a little bit, I’m carrying you. Got that?” A jokingly stern emphasis marking her demand.

“Okay, okay. IF that happens, I’ll let you.” Grabbing onto her offered arm, I start to walk back with her, stopping to grab my walking stick on the way.

“Hey… I’m glad we had that kiss. Could we… do it again later?” Erica says, her tail swishing in a very tense and slow manner.

“Yeah, I’d like that. Just try not to bruise my ribs anymore than they are, alright?” Erica turns towards me, her tail swishing much faster now.

“You’re not going to let that go, are you? What can I do to make it up to you?”

"I may let it go, if you let me help more around the house AND let me cook more often.” I see her open her mouth to protest before closing again as she turns her head away.

“Fine… but on one condition.”

“Well, you’re not really in a position to demand conditions, but I’ll humor you.”

“You give me another kiss.”

“You know for a seven foot tall wolfess who could tear me to pieces, you sure are one big softy.”

“Is that a complaint I hear?”

“No” I stop walking and use my free hand to pull her head down and place another kiss on her lips, this one shorter than the last. Breaking the kiss, she places her forehead against mine.

“I hope you’re starting to see how much you love me again.” She whispers before we begin our trek back to the cabin.

Yeah, actually, I am. The situation between us started out weird, but her enduring affection has been wearing down my walls. The situation is still odd, but I’m adjusting to it and with a little more time, I could be comfortable telling her I love her. But right now I’m content with walking with her back to the cabin and thinking about what I could cook for dinner tonight that she would like. Probably meat. No, definitely meat.

It’s been another week since I had that fall from the tree and Erica has actually showed some improvement in her behavior regarding my agency. At first, she would hover over me as I worked, always checking to see if I was doing it properly or making sure I wouldn’t collapse or anything, but she eventually let me be alone in my tasks, but quick to run over if I ever called.

“Hey, Erica. I’m going to go for a jog, alright?” I yell out from the bedroom as I get changed into a track suit. Hearing foot steps in response, I turn over to the door frame as Erica quickly appears just outside of it, hands wringing together.

“Are you sure about that? It may be a bit too soon for you to go out jogging. How about I come with you and we do a light walk instead?” Erica says, the anxiety in her eyes poorly hidden.

“It’s just a bit of jogging and I think I’ve healed enough to handle it. Besides, exercise does the brain good, hell, it may even speed up the healing. Soon, I’ll be ready to go boxing.” I say, pantomiming a few jabs and an uppercut in an attempt to lighten the mood. Unfortunately, Erica finds it not funny at all.

“Hey,” I say “I’ll be alright. I’ll keep my phone on me and I’ll only jog a mile and come right back, okay?” With that, I go up to her, cupping her cheek and bringing her head down for a quick kiss on the cheek before making my way downstairs, Erica watching me the whole time.

After walking out the front door, I take a big breath of air before starting my jog. A quick trek down the winding mountain road and back seemed easy enough and it would be a good opportunity to take in the area I’ve been calling home these past few weeks.

The jog is easy going for the most part, the lack of conditioning becoming obvious to me as steady, quiet inhales become more ragged as my ignored lungs finally got put to work. Around the half mile mark, I start to come to the first big bend in the road. A sign just before it warns to reduce your speed and indicates its a sharp, blind turn. As I get closer, I notice that the guardrail seems to have been run through, the sides of the opening sheared back from a high force impact. Coming to a stop next to it, I get closer to edge and look down at a rather deep slope. Not exactly what I would call sheer, but still dangerous.

It then dawns on me that this must be where I had my accident. I find it hard to believe that I could have been driving fast enough to bust through the guardrail. While I’m not the safest driver in the world, I’m no idiot. Everyone knows not to drive fast on winding roads and I definitely should have been used to these roads if I visited Erica for as long as I apparently had. With how protective Erica has been it seems unlikely she let me drive drunk. Was it raining that night? God, this just seems so weird.

I then spot an abnormality on one of the trees much further down the slope. The bark near the bottom was torn into and it seemed likely that the tree must have been the one that stopped that my descent. Unsure whether it saved my life or could have killed me, I could only stand there and soak in the visual and imagine the events transpiring in my head.

A quick text alert on my phone pulls me from my stupor. It was Erica asking if I was okay. I told her I was fine and would be back shortly and resumed my jog. Wasn’t long before I made my way to the mile point and began the hike back up the mountain, the incline killing my already aching legs. After taking twice as long coming back up, I made it back to the porch of the cabin, plopping myself down on the steps and letting my heart rate go down and the burn in my lungs to subside.

A few moments later, the door behind me opens up and Erica walks out, a look of relief painted across her face. “How was the jog? You sure took awhile.” She says while taking a seat next to me.

“Yeah, I got distracted for a bit. I think I found the spot where I had my accident. Even now it looked like it was pretty bad.”

“Yeah, I was worried how it would make you feel and if it might bring back any bad memories.” Erica says, rubbing one of her forearms.

“Hey, where is my car, by the way. I guess my lack of needing to go anywhere and with everything that happened, I kinda forget about it.”

“Well, no surprise, it was totaled from the collision and had to be scraped. I couldn’t find any insurance card in there so the police had a wrecker truck collect it.”

“Yeah, I… kinda let my insurance lapse a little bit. It just seemed like I was paying for nothing useful and as long as I never got pulled over, what’s the harm?”

The look that Erica gave me was what I could only describe as uncomfortable. She scrutinized me as if I was some clipboard on which dissatisfying numbers were displayed. I could see her brain work through judgment then disappointment, and then she looked away, staring ahead into the road as she took a deep breath.

“You can’t do that, y’know?” She said. “What if you didn’t have me and that had happened? You’d might have never been found until it was too late and if you had, you’d have no insurance to cover the car not to mention no insurance for your own health.”

Her words hit me like a truck. It was another thing I forget to think about. Hospitals aren’t cheap and they aren’t free. Someone must have paid for my treatment and right now I could only suspect one person to have done so. I had some pretty basic insurance when I lived with my parents, but ever since going out on my own, I had never considered getting it. I was healthy enough and I figured I just wouldn’t do anything too stupid, at least not stupid enough that some bed rest and an Advil wouldn’t fix. But, now here I am, one car wreck with a side of brain trauma later and I could only consider myself lucky I was able to convince someone to waste so much money and time on me.

“So, how was I found?” I say, my head low and eyes staring at the gravel pathway.

“I checked your location to see where you were and noticed your indicator hadn’t moved for awhile. I drove my car to where it said you were and found you… Gods, you looked so terrible.” She reached out and put her arm around me, sliding me towards her where she rested her chin on my head. “It took all that I had to stay calm and tell paramedics where we were. I stayed with you all the way to the hospital.”

“I’m sorry.” I say, still looking down. It was one thing to make mistakes when you can keep it to yourself, but it’s a whole different matter when you have to answer to those mistakes, especially to someone who cares about you. The events of the crash still seem odd, but it feels like asking about it right now may come off as trying to deflect blame on my actions and the emotional tension just doesn’t feel right. I’ll have to remember to bring it up later with her.

“It’s okay.” Erica replies. “It scared me. It scared me so badly, but you’re okay now and you’re going to keep getting better.” She rubs my shoulder softly, giving a chaste kiss on the top of my head.

“Well, I’ll see about getting back on some insurance policies and whatever.”

“Thank you, and if you need any help with it. Let me know, I’ll always support you, babe.” Erica says. “Now, how about I go make us some lunch, I’m feeling burgers this time.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll be in and showered in a bit.” I say. Erica gives me another kiss on the cheek before getting up and walking back inside, her heavy footsteps marking her passage. Left alone, I continue staring into the road and contemplating the immensity of a debt that I owe Erica and whether or not that car crash was the wake up call I really needed in my life.